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Being a Dom

In the BDSM world, “Dominant” is a word that’s thrown around a lot.  Being a Dom can seem very appealing.  Men often want to be more dominant sexually in bed, but also in their relationships, and even in life in general. However, there is a new wave of women who are finally realising they too can be dominant and guess what, they can often do it well.  Unfortunately, there are a lot of fake Doms out there.  How can you make sure you’re not acting like one?  Or if you’re a submissive, what should you look for in a Dom?  Let’s consider what it truly means to be a real Dom.

What a Dominant isn’t

To start, let’s focus on some of the warning signs of a bad or fake Dom.  If they focus only on what they are getting than what they are giving that is a huge clue.  Of course the nature of a Dom should be somewhat selfish but they should also always make sure that the sub is satisfied not just sexually, but emotionally and physically too.  But just like any relationship, trust needs to be earned.  A fake Dom may say things like, “You’re not really a sub,” or, “A good sub would do XYZ.”  If you’re a sub, don’t fall for it.  And if you’re a Dom, don’t say things like that unless the sub consents to being talked to that way.  Real emotional harm can be done.A real Dom is dominant at all times, not just when it suits them.

What is a Dom?

The definition of a Dominant is an important, powerful person who likes to be in charge.  They crave obedience and need to be in control.  They tend to be the “Alpha Male/Female,” and that is why “Dom” is always spelled with a capital while “sub” is always lowercase.  

They strive to exercise control in all things, not just over their sub sexually.  This means that they have order in their own personal lives.  It is not uncommon for a Dom to have an obsessive-compulsive personality. They take great pride in their health, their homes, vehicles, and jobs, knowing these all reflect on them. The Dom takes responsibility for the wellbeing and the proper training, guidance, and discipline of their sub.  The Dom also maintains a stable and safe environment in which their sub may perform their duties in service of the Dom.

Doms are not perfect; they will mess up from time to time.  They can still apologize without appearing weak by just admitting what they did wrong and what they will do to fix it.  Doms shouldn’t lose their temper.  They can get mad and angry but they should always strive to be in control.  Another challenge a female Dom may face is going against society’s rules of being kind and gentle as is expected of the fairer sex.  They’re supposed to be the “nice girl.”  Many women find it hard to be assertive in bed because of this. Bullshit, the world has changed. They may feel guilty always taking, but a Dom needs to remember that subs want and need to be used to serve. The more a Dom demands of their sub, the happier the sub will be. That doesn’t mean that a Dom can’t be giving in bed, but just being  assertive in that part of the relationship will help them fulfil their role.  Ways a Dom can do this in a sexual context are:

Holding their sub down during sex

Tying up their sub in bed so they are restrained

Telling their sub what to do sexually instead of asking

Delaying their sub’s orgasm to show they are in control of it

Another challenge new Doms have to overcome is being afraid of being too strict and hard on their sub with punishments. If anything, I think I get off too easily sometimes. Remember I crave the approval of my Dom and want to be punished when I have disappointed her.

How to be more Dominant

A Dom’s body language and speech need to be powerful and in control. Doms should have good posture and stand tall, being above the sub, often making them sit below them or kneel.  A Dom should also talk confidently and be direct.  They shouldn’t ever ask, “Where would you like to go to dinner?”  They would say, “We are going out to dinner.  Do you have any preference before I decide where?”. One of my favourite things my Mistress does is tell me to make her coffee or fetch a drink.  When we were vanilla she would ask me, “Do you think you can make me coffee please?”  Now she just tells me to do it and it always puts a smile on my face to perform this simple task for her. Watch and see how happy your sub will be to serve you.

How does a Dom train a sub?

Training a sub is a lot of work and not to be taken lightly.  It is a very rewarding process though. When a Dom trains a sub they are moulding them to be a better version of themselves.  Behaviour modification is achieved through maintaining strict consistent structure and order.  subs thrive on a set routine and rules and protocols can help a Dom provide that.  The sub should keep a journal so the Dom can get inside their head.  Punishments are usually necessary to help guide and correct them, as is praise.  It takes constant effort, but It is a beautiful thing when the sub becomes exactly what the Dom desires.

True Dominance is not just a role, it is a way of life.  Being a Dominant means they are held to a higher standard, but it is all worth it.  They will receive the ultimate gift of a sub’s willing submission.  ♥

Orgasm Control: A List of Benefits

I get a lot of questions about the benefits for me and for my husband about the benefits of structured orgasm control as part of addressing the issue of “mismatched libidos” in heterosexual relationships. For many people, as soon as they make a start on this journey, a range of benefits become clear pretty quickly. So, in this case, I believe the requests for providing a list benefits are for people who are still in the process of deciding if this approach is for them.

The short answer is - yes, your life (and sex life) will change for the better. Give it a try.

The second short answer - yes, use a chastity cage. While it is possible to practise orgasm control without one, the benefits for you, but especially for him, of using a chastity cage are exponential. Perhaps the list of benefits below will elucidate why:

Control vs Neglect

In most heterosexual, long-term relationships, women have a significantly lower sex drive than their male partners. Men have less sex than they would ideally like. In this sense, marriage means that females control the allocation of sex. Already. However, without a deliberate structure and communication around the element of this control, the mismatched libido is interpreted by the male as ‘neglect’ or the feeling of not being desired. This can drive the male to pornography, masturbation or ‘nagging for sex’, which puts unwanted pressure on you, and is a serious turn-off.

When orgasm control is discussed and structured as part of the couple’s sexual dynamic, the male’s perception moves from being ‘neglected’ to ‘controlled’. The latter is highly arousing, and the sexual dynamics flips on its head. By controlling his sexual release, you as a couple are indicating that it has a ‘value’ far greater than when he is simply free to masturbate at will. His greatest physical reward, and the oxytocin, bonding, dopamine rush that follows becomes linked to you, not to Pornhub.

More Sex, More Orgasms (For YOU)

Orgasm control is about controlling the MALE orgasm, not yours. The worst thing you can do is be sexually inactive between release windows. Rather just call the whole thing off now - it will not work.

Rather, you can and should have frequent orgasms - and he will love giving them to you. My partner and I have sex frequently outside of his release window. I unlock him and we have standard sex - the only difference is that he is not allowed to cum. He goes slower, uses toys, users his hands and tongue - whatever he needs to do to follow the rules - and I can deliciously and *selfishly* enjoy it. Once we're done, he is locked back up until next time.

This is what he expects and desires - don't feel bad for one second. Stop thinking in the old school "Sex is about the male being satisfied" mindset. It is mindblowing for him in every way - both mentally and physically.

Reigniting the Desire

As has been said on this blog before, males are programmed to ‘move on’ emotionally after ejaculating. Orgasm leads to a spike in prolactin which is a ‘shut off valve’ for intimacy and sexual desire. Frequent masturbation is therefore a total intimacy killer. Controlling the male orgasm leads to increases in oxytocin focused on you as his key objects of desire. He is heavily sexually aroused and his desire for you will skyrocket. Now, he is fully aware that he can’t do anything about it until his scheduled release, so it translates as increased intimacy, and increased energy for other things.

No Pressure for Sex

Modern marriages are defined by women ‘feeling bad’ every time they are not up for sex. The perception of old-world society is that it is the women’s duty to provide sex whenever the male desires. With chastity and orgasm control, this is completely reversed. Sex is not the goal, and the ongoing sexual rush of the denial is what the male will savor the most.

We have PIV (penis in vagina) sex frequently. Most often this is outside of his release window, so he knows that he is not allowed to orgasm, and after I am finished, he is re-locked. It's a mind-screw and a challenge for him, but he absolutely LOVES it!

Chastity is Effortless

With him in chastity, I can do all of this without really having to do much. A bit of attention here and there, a bit of teasing and he is at a constant, positive simmer. It is about communication, structure and commitment.

Release Days are Effortless

When I do allow him an orgasm, this too can be as effortless as you could possibly imagine. On release days, his excitement is so high that bringing him to climax can take as little as a few seconds. This is about “release” - after weeks locked up he will not be able to last very long. Sometimes he will cum just by taking the cage off... In which case, job done 😂.

I usually start by having him bring me to orgasm as usual - with his tongue, hands or a toy. Now it's his turn (for once!).

First decision - do you want him to have his release while in the cage or unlocked?

Caged: it's about balls and nipples. I recommend one hand plays with his nips while the other pulls, squeezes and strokes his balls. Then begin tapping his balls at a regular rhythm, building intensity slowly. Tell him he has permission to cum... Keep tapping and in a few minutes he will come to the edge. He is to ask permission one more time before he about to cum. As he is coming, tap / slap harder until he is finished.

Unlocked: Take off the cage, grip his balls tightly and pull them away from his body, back and forth. Try to touch his nub as little as possible. At most, use a slow, infrequent stroke with a single finger from the base of his nub up the shaft to the tip. He must ask permission just as he is about to cum. At this point, tighten your grip and pull his balls away from his body and hold them there until he is finished.

Tip 1: If you do unlock him for release, always relock directly after he orgasms. This significantly reduces the "drop" he will experience after orgasm and will push him through the 2-3 grouchiness period much smoother. He loves it if I put the cage on him, but if you prefer he locks himself, straight after his release, firmly tell him that it's time to go back in the cage.

Tip 2: Feed it to him! Tell him to clean up with his tongue or at least lick it off your hand. Recycling is important 😂.

Cages Look Sexy

I think of chastity cages as jewellery which is very aesthetically pleasing. Unlocked penises flop about, lean to one side, grow and shrink unpredictably and are often pretty badly manicured. When locked in a cage, everything is so neat. Males will need to do a bit of gardening down there to make it as comfortable as possible. Everything is held in place. His nub is encased and immobilized. His balls are held tight and presented forward. He will want to wear tight underwear or swimwear for comfort purposes, which presents such a neat little package. Every time I see the cage I am reminded that he is doing this for me, and I get a little shiver down my spine. It just looks better, and I love it!

Arousal on Demand

Males think about sex all the time. The vast majority of sexual thoughts and corresponding erections go completely ignored. When locked in chastity, these sexual thoughts (and erections) are contained, and are linked to you as the keyholder. This is highly arousing for the male, and will feel like direct attention from you - even though you may not even be in the same postcode. The cage works for you full-time, and is there whenever the male is aroused. Extremely powerful!

Discipline

The chastity cage helps males to stick to the rules. Most males masturbate significantly more than you will ever imagine. For the vast majority, they will NEVER have gone 21 days or more without masturbating since they first discovered it in their teens. With a cage, masturbation is simply off the table. They must direct this energy elsewhere. Which leads to :

Weight Loss and Conditioning

All of this extra energy must go somewhere, and in most cases, this is directed to physical exercise and conditioning. Many women report that time in chastity has lead to significant weight loss and body sculpting in their males. Motivation and drive are seriously tangible chastity benefits that you will notice as little as 7 days in.

Service

Oxytocin is the courting hormone. Increases in this wonder drug caused by orgasm control will often lead to a far more focused, attentive and service-oriented mentality. Whether conscious on his part or not, I notice a happier, more helpful male, with a higher attention-to-detail and eagerness to please. Use this as you see fit!

A Better Sex Life

Most importantly, chastity and orgasm denial will improve your sex life. Sex does not equate to penetration anymore, although it certainly can if you wish. Unlock him at any point in the schedule for sex of you're keen for it - it's just that outside of the release window, he will have to find a way not to orgasm. You are the focus until his release date!

Most importantly, "sex" in long-term marriages is about sexual interaction - intimacy, honesty, communication and care. This is why you are doing this in the first place. Rewire your thinking as a couple, and become a highly engaged, balanced and aligned sexual partnership.

Conclusions

These are just some of the many benefits that are associated with the exciting journey of male orgasm control. Drop some more in the comments and I can add to this ever-growing list.

Might need this sometime...

BDSM Links And Resources

I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.

If you have anything to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I will update this list, in particular if there any books that a submissive might find helpful or informative, as most of the books I have read or included are intended for Dominants.

Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves.

Websites:

Babygirls ‘n’ Daddy Doms: Website dedicated to littles, babygirls and Daddy Doms, with a lot of useful information on the subject.

Collarme: A free BDSM dating website and community, that is probably the most popular and a better option than the commercial alternatives.

DS Arts: Academy of DS Arts, fairly self explanatory.

Evil Monk: Ambrosio’s BDSM Website, featuring many useful articles.

Fetlife: An online BDSM community that I would highly recommend and which is perhaps best described as Facebook for the kinky, allowing users to create a profile, publish photos or writing and join interest groups where you can ask questions.

Kink Academy: An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.

Submissive Guide: As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.

The Iron Gate: A general BDSM online resource, with many aticles, essays and even stories on the subject.

Dating and Relationships:

10 Principles For Healthy 24/7 D/s And M/s (Source: sexgeek.wordpress.com)

Difference of Dynamics in BDSM (Source: the-little-kitten.tumblr.com)

Finding Your Dominant (Source: asubmissivesjourney.com)

How To Find A Partner (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 3 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

So You Want Your Boyfriend To Dominate You (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate Her (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

The Unfortunate But Common Misconceptions About DD/lg Relationships (Source: a-lolitas-life.tumblr.com)

Play:

Consent Is Mandatory And Non-Negotiable (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

Food Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Rules and Tasks for Building Confidence (Source: themostdangerousplaything.tumblr.com)

Tools of Consent in BDSM (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Training in D/s - Why? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - How? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - Thoughts And Concerns (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Wax Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

Safety:

Basics Of Safe, Sane And Consensual Power Exchange (Source: Molly Devon / the-iron-gate.com)

Common Sense (Source: Sean R. Powell / the-iron-gate.com)

Emotional Safety (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Offline/Online BDSM Safety Rules (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Ouch Is Not A Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits, and Scene Protocol (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Rules For Meeting Strangers (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Safewords and Safesigns 101 (Source: kinkology.tumblr.com)

S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. (Source: Justin Medlin / the-iron-gate.com)

Checklists, Communication and Negotiation:

BDSM Play Partner Check List (Source: Sovereign House / the-iron-gate.com)

BDSM Scene Negotiations (Source: daddyvinnie.tumblr.com)

Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Communication (Source: submissivesupportgroup.tumblr.com)

If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Negotiation Forms (Source: Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction / greenerypress.com)

What Are Negotiations Good For? (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare:

Aftercare for submissives (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Dominants (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Switches (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Sub Drop (Source: David Williams / subshelpingsubs.tripod.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare (Source: desires-of-a-domimant-man.tumblr.com)

Dominance and Dominants:

A Dominant is NOT… (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dom (Source: Washington Sexuality University / the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dominant (Source: cherhatton.tumblr.com)

An Open Letter To A Novice Dom (Source: evilmonk.org)

Qualities of A Successful Dominant (Source: Polly Peachum / the-iron-gate.com)

Daddy Doms: They’re Not What You Think (Source: edenfantasys.com)

Domination for Nice Guys (Source: Franklin Veaux / the-iron-gate.com)

How To Spot A Non Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Learning To Be A Dom (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

The Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Daddy Dom? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

What Makes A Good Dominant (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

What Should A Dominant Be (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Submission and Submissives:

10 Considerations For Inexperienced Subs (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

A Submissive Bill of Rights (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Creed (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Ethics (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Introduction To Submission (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

Learning to Trust Your Instincts (Source: bewildbetruebekinkybeyou.tumblr.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Some Rules For The Submissive (Source: daddylookingforhisbaby.tumblr.com)

Submissive Owner’s Manual (Source: youmadememe.tumblr.com)

Ten Tips For The Novice, Heterosexual submissive Woman (Source: Jay Wiseman / the-iron-gate.com)

Warning Signs for Submissives (Source: RC Bauer / the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Babygirl? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

Books:

BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer

Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs

Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams

Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel

Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel

Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon

SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

The Control Book by Peter Masters

The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino

This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters

Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker

Nice Mandingo party.  Wife wants to try one of these.

Today’s white bitch fuck flick.

Reference material

How To Measure For A Chastity Cage

I’ve taken the time to draw and write a “How To” as I got many questions about getting the measurements right for a custom made chastity cage. It should be even helpful for a standard chastity cage like the Holy Trainer as it comes in various sizes and people might wonder if they need the Small or the Large version. I hope this helps many boys who are interested in chastity 😊 Take care of yourself *arf* 🐶🔒

Seems like useful information.

Cuckold articles

Hotwife Lifestyle - One BIG Potential Problem and How to Avoid It 

Many of the problems with the hotwife lifestyle come down to the differences in the ways men and women think. Never underestimate the magnitude of the task ahead of you if you want to get your wife or girlfriend to cuckold you. The trick isn’t just to get her to have hot sex with other guys but also to STAY emotionally faithful to you AND involve you to whatever extent you want to be involved. ….

Hotwife Advice for Women 

 think women tend to get a raw deal when it comes to finding advice on being a hotwife. It’s true there’s lots of information out there on the topic, but most of it is written by men for men; and the material that is written by women seems to be more about what they get up to rather than how to make it work. In other words, it’s also written for men. ….

The Hotwife Lifestyle for Beginners 

The hotwife lifestyle appeals to many men and women of an open-minded nature who have a strong relationship and wish to explore beyond the horizons of traditional sexuality in regard to marriage and monogamy. …..

Hotwifing and the Four Stages of Cuckolding 

Almost every marriage where cuckolding becomes the norm passes through these stages, and it’s important to realise they are entirely natural and normal. 

The Ultimate Hotwife Lifestyle 

What many men – and even fewer women – realize when they first start taking the idea of hotwifing and cuckolding as a serious possibility for them, is they are subtly changing the dynamic of their relationship and setting themselves up for a true lifestyle change. ….

How To Start Hotwifing 

The question of how to start hotwifing is not as simple to answer as you might think. Or, rather, there is a simple answer but it’s not a very useful one: “just go out and fuck another man, dear”. Alas, that’s a recipe for disaster. …

How Does Hotwifing Enhance a Relationship? 

At first glance, it would seem ‘obvious’ that hotwifing or cuckolding – where a woman has sex with men other than her husband, but with her husband’s knowledge, consent and often at his urging – would be disastrous for any marriage, no matter how strong. But this is far from the truth, as you’ll see in this article…..

How Often Should Your Hotwife Play? 

This is a topic for more advanced couples who are currently living the hotwife lifestyle or have definitely decided to “do it” – and now they’re just working out the details. And one detail that’s really important to work out properly and in advance is how often should your hotwife play?….

Cuckolding: Three Things Cuckolded Husbands Love The Most 

There are many surprising benefits to being cuckolded for husbands, in terms of an enhanced relationship and, in a seeming paradox, a better sex life. But out of all of them three stand head and shoulders above the rest in terms of their ability to delight and excite the man whose wife has one or more lovers. We look at them in detail in this article….

Why Cuckolding Makes for a Happy and Fun Marriage 

Why cuckolding is so popular a fantasy for men is a fascinating topic, and one it’s worth understanding before you take even your first, tentative steps into the hot wife and cuckolding lifestyle. So in this article we’ll look at why men have the cuckolding fantasy so often, and why the cuckolding hotwife lifestyle is so much fun for both of you….

Hotwifing - 3 Ways to Do It Successfully 

This is perhaps the best choice of all, especially for couples are new to the hotwife lifestyle. In this article I share with you three simple choices for couples new to the hotwife lifestyle….

Hotwife Tips - 3 Hot Secrets for Ultimate Hotwife Pleasure 

So, you’ve confessed your desires to your wife – you want her to have sex with other men – she’s agreed in principle, so now… how is it all going to work? So to give you a nudge in what I hope is a hopeful direction, here are three simple scenarios for couples new to hotwiving (you can also use these as ideas when first introducing your wife to the idea of getting into the lifestyle)….

The Ultimate Hotwife Night 

The hotwife or cuckolding fantasy is a very popular one for men, but even though they think about it often, it’s rare they actually think about it very deeply. And the problem with this is the things you need to do to make the hotwife lifestyle appeal to your wife means sitting down and thinking about it a little more deeply than you have been doing – simply because when it comes to these things, men and women have a very different approach. That’s what we explore in this article…..

Can Hotwife Marriages Really Work? 

It’s a fact that hotwifing is a very, very common male fantasy. Why this is so is open to debate, but that doesn’t change the fact it’s true…..

Hotwifing Benefits - Three Reasons Hotwifes Have Better Marriages 

Odd as it may seem the hotwifing benefits you’ll experience if you can get your wife to take the plunge into the cuckolding lifestyle far outweigh the risks and disadvantages (with one proviso: hotwiving is for couples whose relationship is good but they want to improve it; if your relationship is already sexless and broken, then hotwiving will make things a lot worse). Discover here three HUGE benefits to the hotwife lifestyle…..

Hotwife Rules - 3 Tips to Successful Hotwifing 

Hotwife rules won’t mean much to you if you’re in the minority of cases where the lifestyle is part of a wider female-dominated relationship where the only rule seems to be “she can do what she likes”. But for the majority, those who see hotwiving as being something to deepen and enhance a relationship of equals there are three rules you must follow…..

Hotwifing - Is It Wrong? 

Hotwifing is an emotive subject with a lot of strong opinions held on both sides of the argument. But, the fundamental question is: Is Hotwifing Wrong? Unfortunately there’s no answer anyone can give and relieve the individual of answering the question for him- or herself…..

Hotwiving and What Your Wife Wants From It 

The biggest mistake men make when they try to get their wives interested in hotwiving, is blundering in without giving a moment’s thought to what they’re trying to achieve. I mean, yes, they know what their goal is, but that’s the problem. They’re focused on it like a greyhound chasing a rabbit and are blind to all else – including the mess they’re making of things! In this sort article you will uncover the big shift in your thinking you need to make if you want your wife to become the dream Hotwife you crave….

How Does a Hotwife Pick Up a Lover? 

The answer to the question, “how does a hotwife pick up a lover” must be… “very carefully!” But joking aside, in this short article you will discover three tips to selecting the right man to become your wife’s lover…..

How to Get Your Husband to Agree to a Hotwife Lifestyle 

Usually, it’s the man who drives the hotwife lifestyle and then as his wife become more comfortable with it and realises he’s not going to ‘freak out’ at her seeing other men, she tends to become more outgoing and provocative. And, of course, men love this. But what about when it’s the wife who harbours the initial desire? In this short article you will discover some simple tips for women seeking to persuade their men to let them off the leash! …..

How Many Wives Would Like to Hotwife? 

Since infidelity is the last big taboo, how many wives would like to hotwife? And it seems like a reasonable thing to ask since even though it’s a very common male fantasy, it seems women are turned off by the whole idea (but the truth I reveal in this short article will surprise you).,,,,,

Why Cuckolding Is Not the Same As an Affair 

Cuckolding is NOT the same as having an affair, despite most people thinking it is. The crucial difference is one is done with the full knowledge, consent, and even approval of the husband, while the other is not. Discover the difference between cuckolding and affairs and finally uncover the truth about the delicious cuckolding lifestyle…….

The Hotwife Lifestyle - 3 Secrets to Make It Work! 

For many couples the Hotwife lifestyle is a marriage saver - something you might find counterintuitive considering the pain, anguish and trouble infidelity typically causes in a marriage. But the hotwife lifestyle is different and can in fact bring couples closer together. In this short article you will discover the plain truth about the hotwife lifestyle…..

The Best Cuckold Cock Cage?

So I get asked a lot….

I get asked this question an awful lot. What cage do you recommend. So I thought I would post a little article explaining so I do not have to repeat myself.

Metal cages.

I would always recommend metal cages, firstly they look nicer, shiny locked cocks are always more appealing to the eye. Also this is so much more hygenic and easier for cleaning without the need for release.

Solid base ring.

I obviously do not know this from first hand experience but in the early stages of my partner trying to find the perfect fit, any hinged ring would always cause a nasty chafing issue under his ball sack. Any little lump bump or gap in a ring will cause issues. A nice solid smooth ring is the way to go…. I do not care if you have to squeeze your balls to fit them through the ring this is your problem not mine.

Cage length.

I recommend small cages, not because I want to shrink your penis…. That cannot happen I’m afraid. It is for your benifits. If your penis has no room to expand the erection will be stopped in its tracks, if you have even a slight bit of room the erection will continue, once blood has started going to the penis I’m afraid there is no stopping the party….. This will cause the cage to pull on your balls…. Sounds fun doesn’t it? It is for me, but if you wish to have a good night’s sleep then I’m afraid your out of luck because a normal man has a few erections during the night, so instead of just been woken in the morning you will has broken sleep for the duration of your lockup.

Plastic devices.

In our past experience anything over 3 days in a plastic device which has limited cleaning holes begins to smell and this is awfully off putting so I would say stay clear and stick to metal. The only bonus of say the cb600 range is the multiple ring sizes you can choose from, but again plastic equals problems.

Padlocks vs magic locks.

Both have their merits, I can also arrange a lock to suit both, I like knowing I have the only keys so you can’t escape, magic locks are the most sleek and low profile but I like to know wherever you walk you will have to disguise the noise of the lock clicking on my property.

reblog to save a life, i didn’t know this

If you love your wife, you will encourage her to cuckold you with the biggest cocks she can take for her maximum pleasure.

Why your wife needs a big cock…