You Have To Be Around Asexual Perverts It’s Good For Your Health

I MADE ANOTHER ONE-

Honestly I'm obsessed with yurifying these guys

i haven't had this much fun in a while lmfaooo

post-crime murdock

Markiplier Egos

Green = Familiar/Comfortable

Purple = Sorta Familiar/Sorta Comfortable

Orange = Not Very Familiar/I Can't Promise I'll Write Them Well

Red = Not Familiar/I Will Not Write

Yancy

Murderplier (Murdock)

Noir

God of Night

Actor

Wilford Warfstache

Damien

Illinois

Engineer

Heist

Dadiplier (Idk if that's his name???)

Dark

Google

Bing

Dr. Iplier

Bim Trimmer

Captain Magnum

The Host

King of the Squirrels

Porniplier(s)

WHY THE HELL DID THE MOMENT I POST THAT THAT IT STOPPED TRENDING. TUMBLR WHEN I CATCH YOU! WHEN I CATCH YOU TUMBLR!

THE HANNIBAL AND HANNIGRAM TAGS ARE TRENDING AGAIN! THE TIME TO POST IS NOW! ARISE FANNIBALS! ARISE!

Hannibal & Will Parent Headcanons (Separate)

Because Will and Hannibal give off serious dad vibes (especially Will). The moment I laid eyes on Will, I was like: “You are my father now.”

Will:

Will is a Tired Single Dad™

He likes to ruffle your hair :3

If he took his eyes off of you for 1 second when you were younger, he’d lose you immediately

Chased you around the house a lot when you were younger & would swing you in his arms

This man needed so much caffeine just to stay awake

He brought you to work a lot because he couldn’t afford a babysitter, and the students made sure you were the center of attention lol

Sat you on his lap while he graded papers

Lots of cuddles by the space heater

Ngl, I think he’d spoil you a lot when you were younger

Like you’re just too cute to say no to, and he may not be rich, but he wants to give you the world

Lenient when it comes to grades

Just as long as you’re trying your best :)

BEST listener

You can literally come to him for anything, and he’ll sit there quietly until you’re done

Makes you feel understood & less alone

He’s always there for you and puts you first

Teaches you how to fish and how to do fly tying

Y’all go on trips out to the lake

He has you take pictures of him holding fish like the stereotypical dad he is, and he makes you do the same

Said photos of you are getting framed and put on his desk

Takes you even when it’s freezing, so y’all can go and sit out on the frozen lake

He’s definitely fallen in at least once

Calls you “kid” and “kiddo”

He’s okay at cooking, like not the best, but certainly not the worst

Lots of fish for dinner

Y’all dressed up for Halloween together once despite living in the middle of nowhere

Sat by the fire and told spooky stories while eating a little too much candy

This man would literally would die for you

______________________________________________________________

Hannibal:

I’m sorry, but he’s kinda strict

Not like full-on authoritarian, but he’s got lots of rules he expects you to follow to a T

Bedtime at 9:00 sharp, and you WILL be getting your needed 8+ hours of sleep

If you wanna go out somewhere?

Where are you going? For how long? Who will be there? Does he need to drop you off and/or pick you up? Will there be a trusted adult with you? Are you done with your homework yet? And what about chores?

Absolutely ZERO boyfriend, girlfriend, and/or romantic partner allowed until you’re like 27

And no phone until you reach high school

He still loves you, though ^^

When you were younger, he’d read you bedtime stories to help you fall asleep

Y’all would have matching outfits & pajamas

Liked to keep you in his arms a lot

When you misbehaved, he’d get down on your level and gently but firmly chide you

Packs the BEST lunches

Literally eating like royalty

He’s making sure you’re getting all your necessary proteins, vegetables, fruits, etc.

He’d probably teach you Lithuanian

He’d also teach you how to play the harpsichord and definitely played lullabies on it for you when you were younger

Frequently checks how you’re doing in school

Probably goes to parent-teacher conferences

Helps you with your homework if he’s not busy ^^

If he is busy, he’ll hire a tutor to help you

Shows you off to all his friends and coworkers

Literally so proud of you

Yes, he makes you attend his fancy dinner parties

And if you have any musical talent, he is 100% making you play in front of everyone to show off how skilled you are

If anyone is rude to you, he will eat them…eventually

You don’t need to know that, though

Better for you to remain blissfully unaware

Hi, how are you? Could you do some kind of headcanon about how Will Graham's character would react to his girlfriend cheating?

I'm doing alright! Thank you so much for asking, and thank you for the request! *I yearn for Hannibal asks.* Last night I proceeded to watch a movie before promptly passing out on my couch, so I feel a little bit disheveled, but otherwise, I'm pretty okay. Hope your day goes well/went well too!

Will Graham Reacting to His Girlfriend Cheating on Him

Author's Note: The audacity... Tsk, tsk, tsk... Breaking his heart. Also, y'all, please don't cheat irl. It's a crappy thing to do. If you no longer harbor feelings for your S/O then break up. Don't make things harder.

I imagine after first finding out that he'd be very passive aggressive and possibly even give her the silent treatment

He wouldn't tell her at first that he knew

I think he would want a bit of a clear head at first

Time to think, gather his thoughts, and be alone

Just him and his dogs and some fishing out on the lake

Naturally, he'd be devastated...and mad

He rarely ever opened himself up fully to others and for the first time he felt safe doing so, doing so around her, and only her

And what'd he get for it?

A broken heart

He'd curse himself, mad at himself for trusting someone else, for letting his feelings guide him

And mad at her for betraying him, going behind his back

If she didn't love him anymore, couldn't she have just broken up with him?

Will would wear his glasses around her more often, using them as a barrier between him and her

Once she attempted to pull the glasses off of him, a playful smile on her lips as she questioned him, her head tilting ever so slightly

Only for him to pull her hand away, his expression stern and unyielding before he looked away once more

Later that night, she'd confront him, asking Will what his issue was and that they could work it out together

That's when he revealed that he knew she was cheating on him

She'd deny it, of course

But after Will's constant pressure and prying, she'd break

She'd make up excuses

That he was rarely ever around, that she needed some love too

He'd hear none of it

He'd speak slowly and calmly, but his voice carrying a hint of steel. "It's over. You need to leave. Now."

"But-"

Will would give her a look that said "don't test me," leaving no room for argument

She would pack her bags, say goodbye to the dogs, and drive off into the night, leaving him alone

Will would let out a long sigh, rubbing his hands over his face before grabbing a bottle of whiskey and turning on the space heater

He'd cuddle up with his dogs, the whiskey leaving a trail of warmth down his throat as he sipped it, hoping to drown out his feelings

At least for the night

On the bright side, he'd have his dogs all to himself

🤫

wip

Shitpost featuring Wilford, Actor, and Dark

:)

That atrocious aftershave...

No, but also yes.

I had a dream last night where I danced with Mads Mikkelsen. Not like the fancy, waltz kind of dancing. Dude just showed up in the street, and he started straight up boogieing. My friend didn't want to dance with him, so of course, I danced with him. He was breaking it down in the street. That is all. Thank you lol.