No Sorry I Dont Really Use Instagram, I Can Contact You Via Ouija Board, Spirit Box, Fluctuations In

obsessed with the way my robotics team lead talks

she’s reinventing hieroglyphics

*john mulaney voice*

there is a

boat

stuck in the

suez canal

it's never happened before

no one knows what the boat is gonna do next, least of all the boat

its never been sideways in a canal before, it's as confused as you are

Not now kitten daddy's googling his symptoms

full piece

If you mess up a social interaction you can say "Failed Experiment" and move on

Cats and small kids are curious about what you're doing in much of the same way. Sometimes when you seem to be up to something, they want to see what it is. If you try to keep a cat from sniffing something to find out what it is, they'll keep insisting, louder and louder, "let me sniff, let me sniff, LET ME SNIFF, LET ME SNIFF!!" until you do.

And then they sniff at it for two seconds and go "oh, oooh. Now I get it. Don't care" and wander off. But the demand to know will remain for as long as the thing is kept from them.

This one time when I was in nursing school, I had a training period in a kindergarten. One day I was chatting with one of the workers, telling her about this one time when I was in Kentucky due to my boyfriend at the time living there, and I saw this huge locally native spider-

And then I got interrupted by this one specific kid - a four-year-old boy who had taken a liking to me, sharp as hell and never missed a single thing. Looking at me with a deeply baffled, wide-eyed frown that kids that age do when Shit Does Not Add Up, he asked me: Boyfriend? If you're a boy, why did you have a boyfriend?

Not sure what else to say, I just shrugged and said that it happens sometimes, sometimes men fall in love with men or women fall in love with women. And I could practically observe in real time as his confusion disappeared in a blink, as this previously completely unfathomable piece of information entered his brain, was swiftly processed, and instantly filed into "boring grownup shit that I don't care about". He only had one follow-up question:

"What happened to the spider?"

Unstoppable force (House’s gay jokes) vs immovable object (Wilson’s repression)

i love being obsessed with awful people characters like omg he is soooo cute when he lies and schemes to get his way 😍😍😍

Jelly-Pig

Ann Solyst (American) | Hard Pastel

) <- super parenthesis. reblog to close all parentheticals you opened and forgot to close in your life and return to equilibrium