“Look At My Little Blorbo!” I Say, Pointing At A Grown Ass Man In Dire Need Of Antidepressants.

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

Must protect this guy at all costs.

“why do you have a gap in your resume” idk why is there a gap in your staff. worry about that

lions are very mean and like jellyfish

someone please help my daughter has been rotated

my boy tails!!!!!!!! he has never known peace since shadow showed up with that kid

dr who’s on first, doctor strange is on second and doctor house is on third. theres no way theyre getting through a single inning

having depression makes your friends seem like the coolest most put together people on earth like wow... you got out of bed, had breakfast, went to work, AND spent some time on a hobby when you got home....? that's so impressive you're like superman or something. can i borrow your power.

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon