Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Past Tense, Pt. 1"

this is the only thing i have been thinking about

and you know what?

i am going to die

it’s really important that everyone read mallory ortberg’s sir gawain and the green knight parody

working a new bakugo fic. and,, it's heavily inspire by the song neptune by sleeping at last. and i just need to ramble about it for a bit because i don't think there is a better bakugo song and i've hit a block in my writing and i want to get back into

"You let me set sail with cheap wood So I patched up every leak that I could 'Til the blame grew too heavy"

so. okay. this is about his mother to me. i think there is so much potential in developing mitsuki's relationship to katsuki. i think, that her way of showing love is so harsh and unforgiving. she expects the best out of him, i don't believe gentle was ever a word that could be used to describe her. i think she could even be described as cruel in a lot of ways. both his superiority complex and his imposter syndrome stem from her. she put him on such a high pedestal growing up. she believed that he was unbeatable, because of course she did. every parent wants their child to be the best the best for their child. and for a long time, katsuki was the best. he was so strong, and talented, and he knew it too. until he got to ua, until deku suddenly had a stronger quirk than him, until he caused all-might to retire, and suddenly it wasn't enough. he wasn't enough.

"Stitch by stitch, I tear apart If brokenness is a form of art I must be a poster child prodigy"

fuck man. i mean, i feel like this line is self explanatory but imma explain anyways. so, end of season three. deku v. kacchan, pt 2. i've talked about how this is probably the best episode out of the entire series before but i need to touch on it again. everything comes to it's boiling point here. bakugo is so truly and utterly broken, at least when it comes to his spirit. all of his insecurities, all of his doubts are proven true when all might has to retire. but even beyond that, when he tells deku that 'hes next'. deku, someone he looked down on his entire life, someone who he was 'inseparable' from, someone who has always been kind and forgiving and understanding, someone who is everything he's not. deku is better than him, and all might is having to retire and todorki is a stronger hero than him so where does that leave him? what is he left with?

"I'm only honest when it rains If I time it right, the thunder breaks When I open my mouth I wanna tell you, but I don't know how"

god. so. the only times we see bakugo being honest and vulnerable is when the stakes so are incredibly high. and im talking about when he's on the verge of death and also when he finds out that izuku is quirkless and also when he is trying to convince izuku to come back to ua and also when he is talking to all might about protecting izuku and hiding his quirks and also when all might saves him from shigaraki.

i think there is something so meaningful in the way that every time we see bakugo being vulnerable he has the excuse of just saying it was his adrenaline running high or that he wasn't thinking things through all the way. being able to hide his feelings and emotions behind something else, being able to blame his emotions on something else. he doesn't know how to love softly, he doesn't know how to love quietly.

"I wanna love you but I don't know how I wanna love you"

gahhhh. this is the last line in the song and after about 8 runs of 'i dont know how' to end with the fact that you want to despite that lack of knowledge is so. SO. so beautiful, and so true to bakugos character. i think that even through not knowing how to be there for deku and not knowing how to help, what words to comfort him with when he ends up quirkless, he still wants. he wants with everything in him. he wants to fight alongside him, and if he doesn't know how to be soft, if he doesn't know how to be kind, he will be what he does know. he will be strong and he will be the best hero and he will be save money and he will work with hatsume and he will work and he will try.

if you read this far thank you for listening to me ramble bakugo is such a special character to me and this fic im working on is a fucking beast trying to wrangle it and i just really wanna do him justice

big fan of 'i'd find you in every universe'. BIGGER fan of 'there are maybe five universes where we find each other and in four of them it ends badly i think we're some kind of anomaly i think every law of everything points towards this being the death of us. but we could try to save it anyway.' THATS the good shit.

the first law of tragedies: the end is already written and inevitable. the second law of tragedies: your actions are all your own and you can choose to get off this ride whenever you want. the third law of tragedies: we both know that you are never going to do that.

So I just went with my buddy while he got a rib tattoo, and they hurt like a lot, so he’s over there grimacing and being a huge manbaby so I just reach over and grab his hand so he can squeeze it because I’m a good person who helps others

And he’s clinging to my hand like it’s a life preserver and I’m being me and talking about nonsense like Grimace from the McDonalds commercials and how R2D2 is always ready to throw hands, and whatever, and the artist keeps glancing over at me and I’m like do your tattoo bro I’ve got my buddy handled

But then I realize he’s like, looking over because he can’t tell if he’s seeing something or not, and I glance down and I see my rainbow scalemail bracelet, and how I’m talking to my buddy all fondly and I’m like stroking his arm like he’s a wounded animal, and right as it clicks in my head the tattoo artist asks in his most nonchalant voice possible, like intentionally bland, I’m just talking about the weather haha what do you mean voice:

“So, are you guys close?”

And my gay ass is over to the side internally screaming because yeah, I am gay, but like this is just me being a good bro and my buddy is COMPLETELY OBLVIOUS TO WHAT IS HAPPENING BECAUSE HE’S A GARBAGE STRAIGHT PERSON AND HE SAYS

“Yeah of course, that’s why I asked him to come”

SO NOW THE TATTOO ARTIST THINKS HE’S RIGHT AND HE HAS A GAY COUPLE GETTING A TATTOO AND MY BUDDY HAS NO IDEA AND I’M AWKWARDLY SITTING HERE LIKE SHOULD I STOP HOLDING HIS HAND??? SHOULD I CORRECT THIS TATTOO ARTIST??? SHOULD I LET MY BUDDY KNOW??? MY GAY ASS DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE BEING INCORRECTLY ACCUSED OF BEING GAY, WHAT DO YOU DO

So that tattoo artist is like “Cool man, that’s great. Good for you.”

So then my buddy is like can I get some water, and the guy comes back with one bottle of water and my buddy takes a drink and then hands it to me, and I’m like obviously he has to lay down and needs me to hold his water so I just hold it in my hand, but turns out he was offering me water, so he turns to me and is like Colton, drink some water, and I take a drink and my garbage lizard brain is like “You’re drink sharing in front of the tattoo artist, now he KNOWS he’s right”

So we’re talking about tattoos with the artist and I mention that I’m getting a tattoo in September and my buddy is like “Yeah I’m gonna go and hold HIS hand for that one haha” and the tattoo artist FUCKING SAYS “I mean, I should hope so”

I MEAN, I SHOULD HOPE SO

I MEAN, I SHOULD HOPE SO

AND NO ONE ACTUALLY BROUGHT IT UP. I KNEW WHAT THE TATTOO ARTIST WAS THINKING BUT DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING TO CORRECT HIM. NOW WHEN MY BUDDY GOES BACK AND GETS HIS NEXT TATTOO IN THE FUTURE AND I’M NOT THERE HE’S GOING TO GO “OH WHERE’S YOUR BOYFRIEND”

I got a few asks about updating couple more sliders, so here you go!

Bloodmoon's leg sliders (thigh/calf)

DOWNLOAD UPDATED thigh slider

DOWNLOAD UPDATED calf slider

DOWNLOAD UPDATED merged sliders

Kikiw Perfect Neck slider

DOWNLOAD UPDATED neck slider

Again, I'll take these down if the original creators update their sliders in the future!

If you wish to update your favorite slider by yourself, you can use this tool to do it! I've been using it to update these sliders and it's super easy :) So far Ive gotten everything to work in my end at least 🌼

Zombie setting where the undead are drawn towards unhygienic scents, so survivors constantly bathe to avoid being eaten.

Zombies are docile when adorned with flowers.

Settlements overgrown with herbs and flora.

Barely any banditry; everyone is focused on farming and gathering.

Different human factions and towns named after flowers like Lilies, Orchids, Roses, etc.

Instead of immediately killing an infected survivor, they’re given special funeral rites - the zombie is covered with flowers to keep them calm, and  allowed to walk out from the settlement to join the hordes.

me and these short ass men against god