Working A New Bakugo Fic. And,, It's Heavily Inspire By The Song Neptune By Sleeping At Last. And I Just

working a new bakugo fic. and,, it's heavily inspire by the song neptune by sleeping at last. and i just need to ramble about it for a bit because i don't think there is a better bakugo song and i've hit a block in my writing and i want to get back into

"You let me set sail with cheap wood So I patched up every leak that I could 'Til the blame grew too heavy"

so. okay. this is about his mother to me. i think there is so much potential in developing mitsuki's relationship to katsuki. i think, that her way of showing love is so harsh and unforgiving. she expects the best out of him, i don't believe gentle was ever a word that could be used to describe her. i think she could even be described as cruel in a lot of ways. both his superiority complex and his imposter syndrome stem from her. she put him on such a high pedestal growing up. she believed that he was unbeatable, because of course she did. every parent wants their child to be the best the best for their child. and for a long time, katsuki was the best. he was so strong, and talented, and he knew it too. until he got to ua, until deku suddenly had a stronger quirk than him, until he caused all-might to retire, and suddenly it wasn't enough. he wasn't enough.

"Stitch by stitch, I tear apart If brokenness is a form of art I must be a poster child prodigy"

fuck man. i mean, i feel like this line is self explanatory but imma explain anyways. so, end of season three. deku v. kacchan, pt 2. i've talked about how this is probably the best episode out of the entire series before but i need to touch on it again. everything comes to it's boiling point here. bakugo is so truly and utterly broken, at least when it comes to his spirit. all of his insecurities, all of his doubts are proven true when all might has to retire. but even beyond that, when he tells deku that 'hes next'. deku, someone he looked down on his entire life, someone who he was 'inseparable' from, someone who has always been kind and forgiving and understanding, someone who is everything he's not. deku is better than him, and all might is having to retire and todorki is a stronger hero than him so where does that leave him? what is he left with?

"I'm only honest when it rains If I time it right, the thunder breaks When I open my mouth I wanna tell you, but I don't know how"

god. so. the only times we see bakugo being honest and vulnerable is when the stakes so are incredibly high. and im talking about when he's on the verge of death and also when he finds out that izuku is quirkless and also when he is trying to convince izuku to come back to ua and also when he is talking to all might about protecting izuku and hiding his quirks and also when all might saves him from shigaraki.

i think there is something so meaningful in the way that every time we see bakugo being vulnerable he has the excuse of just saying it was his adrenaline running high or that he wasn't thinking things through all the way. being able to hide his feelings and emotions behind something else, being able to blame his emotions on something else. he doesn't know how to love softly, he doesn't know how to love quietly.

"I wanna love you but I don't know how I wanna love you"

gahhhh. this is the last line in the song and after about 8 runs of 'i dont know how' to end with the fact that you want to despite that lack of knowledge is so. SO. so beautiful, and so true to bakugos character. i think that even through not knowing how to be there for deku and not knowing how to help, what words to comfort him with when he ends up quirkless, he still wants. he wants with everything in him. he wants to fight alongside him, and if he doesn't know how to be soft, if he doesn't know how to be kind, he will be what he does know. he will be strong and he will be the best hero and he will be save money and he will work with hatsume and he will work and he will try.

if you read this far thank you for listening to me ramble bakugo is such a special character to me and this fic im working on is a fucking beast trying to wrangle it and i just really wanna do him justice