WLC 4.5: Mother, What Big Snake Butt You Have

WLC 5.1: Into the Woods We Go

J: It was about twelve years ago. L: After that cult nonsense. J: Yes, Mum. One story at a time.

A lanky black-cloaked figure walks alone down a dreary forest path. The path is old and seldom used. The sun overhead shines upward illuminating the other side of the world, reflecting back down far dimmer and weak enough to blocked by the few clouds. The noises of the forest sing: the breeze through the trees, the chirping of bugs, the hooting of an owl, and the howling of wolves in the distance. The figure marches forward, boots stomping on dirt, as her mind wanders.

L: I figured. It's when you ran away from home again. J: Let me tell the story, Mum.

The trail leads to an abandoned home. Years of neglect have let nature tear it down. It's roof has largely collapsed, it's door broken open, and the tell-tale signs of animals litter the property.

A figure cloaked in red waits by the broken door. As the other figure approaches, she growls, "Are you looking for trouble?"

"I have seen enough of it," answers the first.

The figure inside leans her muzzle out and says, "Set them down there."

"Tome first," says the one outside.

"That's not how this works," growls the one inside, "You put them down and I'll tell you where your d**n book is."

"I'm not putting it down," says the one outside in a matching tone, "Until you prove the tome is here."

"Maybe you can just give them to me then?" asks a dainty, third voice from the trees.

"Were you followed, d******e?" yells the voice in the house.

"You really think I didn't know about your granny's old house, Luminița?" asks the voice in the woods, "You, in the black, let me see what you've got there. It's nothing illegal, is it?"

"Of course not," says the black-cloaked, "There's nothing illegal in these woods, Sheriff."

"True that," says the voice in the woods and then a gunshot rang out. The black-figure fell to the ground. "Shame your mommy couldn't bail you out tonight, Jevoi."

D: GASP! Is that how you died? J: I didn't die. L: Tanglepork? Hmm. J: Yes, Sheriff Tanglepork.

Jevoi remains still on the ground. Gank's ghastly hand gently places the bullet onto the ground and her eyes envelop Jevoi's. She can see the soul of a gnome hiding amongst those of the trees, sneaking toward the house.

"You want to run~, Loomy~?" asks Tanglepork, singsongly, "You can try~eye~!"

Jevoi can see the soul of a large bipedal wolf lurking in the house, poised to strike.

As Pokemon had already proven, tank plus animal is top tier design.

Here’s the best fighting game character of ALL TIME….. Beartank! 🌻🧸💣

Game Manual

Here are some some details and pictures from the games' official manuals.

Mikado and her Shainto counterpart Kaun face off.

The manual pairs her with Jo as speed-type. The stats the ladies have are similar with the four swords, but the polearms are a different story. The Shainto spear is Jo's worst weapon, but the Narukagami naginata is Mikado's best. Mikado and Kaun have the maximum speed and power with the big pointy sticks!

Mikado's stats with each weapon, if you're curious are:

Weapon-----Power----Speed

Naginata----22/22----15/15 Same as Kaun with Yari (Jo is 15 and 12)

Broadsword-15/22-----12/15 Same as Jo

Katana-------12/22-----14/15 Slower than Jo

Nodachi-----15/22-----13/15 Much weaker than Jo (18)

Longsword--10/22----14/15 Slower than Jo (Tied for the weakest Char/Weapon combo in the game.)

Notes: The lowest normal power is 10 and speed is 12. NPCs and the secret duo are above the limit. Mikado is weaker and slower than Kaun with all swords except being as fast with the katana.

In the original game, Mikado and Black Lotus (aka Kokuren, aka James, aka Highwayman) are the medium characters. Sadly, I haven't found the character stats in BB1 yet.

Also, that codename: Gate of the God's Descent. That's even cooler than my nickname for her: the Empress.

Mikado and Tatsumi face off, back when she was balance and he was speed.

These scans came from Archive.org, so that's why the text is scrunched like that.

WLC 7.1: Accidentally Posted Early

With dinner and the stories over, Empress Jevoi rings a phantom bell. "Let us retire then," she says, "As promised, I have agents ready to accompany you to bed, Mum."

Ling feels arms grab onto hers: lithe arms, yet a firm grasp; two people, nearly identical. Ling turns to see one then then the other.

They are a pair of vrow, but subtle traits in the eyes, brow, and ears hint at orc descent. They have a slight green tint to their violet skin,long raven hair, and shimmering yellow eyes. Both are clad in leotards with long gloves and boots and masks covering their mouths. One is in purple, the other pink.

"G'day," says Ling, "Didn't think ya were real."

"I made a promise," says Jevoi. She gestures to the ladies. "You know what to do."

"G'night, Dalini," says Ling as they haul her away, "Got some wizarding to do."

"G'night, Nana," yells Dalini, lifting her face off of her plate. "Have fun with your friends." She resumes sucking the plate clean.

After Ling has been removed from the room, Jevoi sighs. "This was a terrible mistake."

"It's not going to work," says Angustias.

"No," says Jevoi, alert again, "I mean the cake." She points to Dalini jittering about, now trying to eat the plate.

Showing Off

Every normal character in Bushido Blade 2 has a subweapon (except Isohachi who yells loud enough to be a weapon). Mikado has throwing knives.

Look at how Hongou, one of the strongest warriors, is kept pushed back from the strength of the shrine maiden.

Check out the sweet dodge I did by accident while recording Mikado's Skyward Strike.

WLC 6.B: And They Were Broom-Mates

As Ling approaches the metal windmill, the ground under it groans and shifts. A chunk of land rises up, revealing a crude staircase.

"If anyone is still alive up there," demands a young woman's voice from the dark, climbing upward, "Identify yourself."

"A passing wizard," says Ling, "Who's asking?"

"I am the Gr- hold on, give me a second," says the voice, hurrying up the stairs. As she reaches the surface, she announces, "I am the Great Witch Zingiber, Herald of Calamity."

Zingiber is a tan elven woman, barely a few centuries old, with fluffy red hair. She wears an extremely dark red cloak. Her ruby earrings are so large that the bend her long pointy ears (as they are hooked into the tips). She posed dramatically when she emerged and sneaks a look with one eye to see what reaction she garnered.

"By the Gods," says Zingiber, dropping the pose into one of exaggerated shock, "You're Dr. Ling, creator of Tendon Tearer! It's such an honour!"

L: It was a nice feeling being identified for magic for once. Wish it had been my food magic...

"Ripper, my rep precedes," says Ling, "Sorry 'bout ya're spell minefield, but I couldn't give ya a bell."

"Don't worry about that," says Zingiber. She turn around and waves for Ling to follow, "Come in, please." She giddily kicks about before squealing and charging in.

Into the darkness, Ling descends. Her orb's shine guides her until a distant glimmer sparks into view. This staircase must reach into the Underdank. If that's the case, then the sheriff was half-right.

The room at the bottom is bare, lit by the single smokeless torch hanging on the wall. A large metal door stands in the far wall inscribed with runes.

"Apple crumble and filch," says Zingiber to which the door opens. "Let me show you around."

The cavern was carved in an uneven yet cubic way, a chaotic and artificial mess. The dark stone lit by yet more smokeless torches and splattered with dried blood. An arrangement of mini mesas form a set of table and chairs with small cushions set upon them.

L: The room was a tripping hazard deathtrap. One wrong step and there's a pointy corner in your face.

"This is our main room- oh, I NEED to introduce you to the rest of the coven!" Zingiber turns down a corridor and yells, "Gudrun! You'll never guess who's here!"

"This better be good, or they better be dead," grumbles a distinctly dwarven voice from down the way.

Stepping into the room in an extremely dark green variant of Zingiber's witchy robe is a brooding pale middle-aged dwarven woman. Her hair, beard, and overdone eye shadow are as black as the stairwell Ling just crawled down. Both her long hair and beard run through simple sapphire bands.

"Why'd ya let a stranger into our lair?" asks Gudrun, "What part of secret is escaping yer erratic brain?"

"But this is Dr. Ling," whines Zingiber, "The genius that created all those body horror spells I've been practicing. She's my inspiration."

"So, ya're the lovely partner to this little psycho?" asks Ling, "Where's the third?"

L: Not a fan of being labeled a body horror wizard.

J: Then stop making new body horror spells.

L: Those are my "stop trying to kill me" spells; ya have to keep making new ones or your enemies will learn how to counter ya. Anyhow, I knew I had to distract these two to search the place.

"Elsewhere," says Gudrun, "How'd ya guess?"

"All covens have at least three witches," says Ling, "But I guess I can be your third 'til morning." Ling licks her eyeballs.

Zingiber squeals again, but Gudrun seems hesitant.

"One of my idols wants my body," she says to no one specifically. She swiftly spots Gudrun's face and falls to her knees before her. "Please, please, please, please-please, pleeeeeeeeease. We HAVE to."

Gudrun shakes her head, "We shouldn't. Not without her."

"Well, if she wants to be an equal part of this relationship then maybe she should be living with us instead of leaving us alone."

"Fair," says Gudrun, "Alright, lizard, hope ya're better than my ex-hub."

"I'll get the honey and the chaaaains!" says Zingiber darting off.

"Wait," says Ling, casting a spell on the elf. The confirmation sign appears over her head. "Carry on." She turns to the dwarf, "So, ya and this one, huh?"

"Ma always said not to stick yer tongue in crazy," says Gudrun, "But what Ma don't know won't kill her."

"Strewth."

Victory Poses in Bushido Blade

In the original game, victory poses are tied to the character's weapon. Here's Mikado striking each pose in each of the Vs stages.

Rapier on Yahiro Road

Katana in the windy Yagura Point

Broadsword in the Cherry Blossom Grove

Naginata in the Underground Grotto

Longsword at Executioner's Cove

Nodachi in the Meikyokan Dojo

Saber near Dozaemon Moat

Sledgehammer in the Bamboo Thicket

Rapier on Yahiro Road

Katana in the windy Yagura Point

Broadsword in the Cherry Blossom Grove

Naginata in the Underground Grotto

Longsword at Executioner's Cove

Nodachi in the Meikyokan Dojo

Saber near Dozaemon Moat

Sledgehammer in the Bamboo Thicket

Polearm Vs Gun

Bushido Blade has a pair of characters that use guns. This also let's me show you the hit sparks of the game. Blue is good defense, green is bad defense, white is neutral clash, orange is nonlethal hit, and red spray is DEATH.

Hokkyoku Tsubame with her M16 cannot deal with the point-blank assault. Maybe she should have stuck with her sword.

Mikado refuses to let Schuvaltz Katze even stand to aim his Revolver. Most of the cast have a low opinion on the hired gun.

WLC 6.E: Bull-headed

"Listen fast," says Ling to the still dazed minotaur, "The kids are alive, there's one witch coming, and the second's getting the third. I've infily'ed their coven and ya're brainwashed. Play along."

Sheriff Honeycrisp has several questions. Unfortunately for him, Zingiber footsteps were slowly growing louder. He lies back into the junk pile, feigning unconsciousness.

"Water for the lady." Zingiber presents a chalice to Ling as if it contained wine or nectar.

"Thanks, mate." Ling chugs it immediately.

"Ready to see my work?" Zingiber sways with glee. "My latest I call Marrow Radiance."

"Can ya make him do stuff?" Ling puts the empty cup down.

"Oh," says Zingiber, deflating, "Like what?"

"I was just wondering if ya knew mind s***e."

"That's Gudrun's thing."

"So, she had him blame someone in town, then?"

Zingiber giggles, "Sort of. She let him just pick someone who'd fit."

"Really now." Ling resists the negative urges rising in the back of her mind. 'Think of the kids, Ling,' she thinks to herself.

"Sheriff, walk to the main room," Zingiber commands, "Any ideas, Dr.?"

Honeycrisp rises and stumbles his way out, quietly grumbling all the while.

As the ladies follow him, Ling asks, "I thought coven's shared magic. Are ya all studying extra things?"

"Yeah, the coven stuff is mostly utility: reshaping land, portals, material conversion."

"Sounds like your boss wants a construction crew," says Ling, carefully navigating the misshaped hall, "Any idea why?"

Zingiber shrugs. It wasn't going to be that easy.

"Can ya make the sheriff do cartwheels?"

"Yeah, but why?" asks Zingiber, "I can do soooo much worse."

"Gotta start small, mate," says Ling as they enter the main room again. "If ya do your big evil s***e now, how do ya top it?"

"Point taken," sings Zingiber, "Alright, moo-man, do s-"

"Zinj, I need to talk to ya," says Gudrun, standing by another door. She scowls at Ling. "In private." She looks to the sheriff. "Watch the doctor," she commands.

"Sure, what's up?" Zingiber dances across the room and follows her coven-mate into the darkness.

"Cartwheels, really?" angrily whispers Honeycrisp.

"Ya want her to pull your skeleton out your a**e?" whispers back Ling, "That one's a loon."

"All you b***hes are loons," says Honeycrisp, "Chaotic w***es the lot of you."

"Ya got a f**king problem, mate?"

"Yeah, c**ts like you!" shouts the sheriff.

"Of course, they do, b*****d," shouts back Ling, "They wouldn't hate ya if ya'd stop being a sack of s***e!"

"You diseased s**t!" Honeycrisp steps forward, his figure towering Ling. "Just here to bang the kidnappers."

"B****y f**kwit!" Ling stands as tall as can, glaring into his eyes. "Just mad ya've been saved by a woman; ya hate us so much."

"You barely count as a woman, p***y-sucking lizard."

"Says the cuckold farm animal!"

"What is this language?" asks Ioana, who had slipped into the room unseen.

"Wow," mutters the diminutive deputy behind her.

Does that make the twins a pair of sneasels?

Sneasler + Hsien-Ko