Showing Off

WLC 1.2: In the Long Quiet Night

In the half-buried atelier, surrounded by broken equipment and furniture, the two geckos continue to stare each other down. A soft red light faintly fills the room from the window of a large metal pod. Likewise, the bubbling from within it serves as the sound in the dead eternal night.

In front of the wizard, the remains a fire pit erupt back to life. She leans forward again. "Another cold summer day," she says with the faintest laugh, "Bring a gift? Or just more disappointment?"

"What I have brought are demands," says her daughter, scanning the room, "Where is she?"

"Look at you," scoffs the wizard, "Dressing like an elf, standing like an elf. Want me to turn ya into one?" She pulls one arm out of her robe; the long violet fingerless glove blend back into them, as she traces her finger up and down her daughter's image. "Nana Ning would be so disappointed."

"And whose fault is that?" exclaims her daughter, "The time I spent with her was measurable in days." She adjusts her fine black leather gloves. "And it's not as if you knew anything about us. How would you? But that's not the point. You're just trying to distract me from-" A shadow appears, just briefly, in the doorway in the back. "My daughter."

WLC 6.6: Over the Hill

The duo took a moment to admire the tranquil pond. The sun and clouds reflect clearly on the slow water.

"So, that's a 'no' on the silver?" asks Loomy to the pond.

"Doesn't matter," says Bacon, "We should keep on."

So they do.

"No idea what you're talking about," says Bacon, glancing about the forest, "What kind of forest is this anyway?"

"Uh, cedar, i think," says Loomy, looking about for what prompted that question, "What about it?"

"It's nice, isn't it?" asks Bacon, face still hidden, "Trees are nice; I need to spend more time with them My favorite is cherry. What's yours?"

A: I'm fond of the candelabra spurge. D: Palm trees are cool, too.

"I don't.. have one...?" says Loomy, "Who does? How old are you?"

"Are you really asking me that question?" Bacon's voice strains against an unwanted emotion.

The bugs chirping and birds calling echoed over the silent valley between them. It would be another half hour before either would speak again. There were no encounters, no odd sights, nor clues of any kind.

"How far away does this woman live?" asks Bacon, "We have to be close, right?"

"Yeah, right over this next hill," says Loomy, "Wish she lived closer."

As the two top the hill, Bacon sees the old cabin. And if the old woman who lives here doesn't know anything, then this, the only remaining straw to grasp, is a dead end.

J: Mum, we know this woman did something. L: But ya don't know exactly what yet.

Loomy knocks on the door and something inside shuffles, muffled within.

As the door creaks open, an elderly voice beyond calls out, "Is that you, dear Luminița?" An eye peeks through the slowly widening gap. "You look like Loomy," says the old wolf, "But you don't smell like Loomy."

"Your granddaughter couldn't make it this week," says not-Loomy, "I can explain if you let us in."

"Ya must be Ioana," says the mysterious person formerly known as Bacon, "Nice to meet ya."

"Who are you? Where is she?" asks Ioana, words sliding toward a growl "Take off that disguise."

Mikado Story (Injured)

In both games, getting hit in Story mode will give the player character battle damage in future scenes. These are the four limbs and either the head (BB1) or torso (BB2).

Here's those Mikado scenes from the first game, but this time both Mikado and the other playable characters are fully damage. I only recently discovered you could even apply the damage effects to NPCs. It's an exploit anyone can do: using the secret P2 option in Story mode (R1+R2+L1+L2+Start+Select almost anytime on P2's controller while in Story mode), any NPC in P1's story that is defeated while controlled by P2 will be fully damaged when they reappear. No gameshark codes or other data manipulation required at all.

WLC 5.B: Slippery When Wet

Jevoi awakens slowly. Her body greatly resists separation from the bed, adhering itself to it like honey. With considerable effort, she rises.

The cabin's shower is pleasant and its water warm. As she cleans her scales, Gank keeps watch on the cabin. The ship's distractions may not avail the lawgnome's thievish intent.

There had been no disturbances during the night, or whatever could be considered night in space. Does time even flow here in this outer void?

'She's here,' thinks Gank, 'Keep the water on.'

Jevoi slips silently back into the cabin's other room. Despite the door out still being shut, Jevoi can clearly see the gnome searching her things. Naked, but armed, Jevoi sneaks closer.

Tanglepork suddenly turns around, gun drawn. "Walked right into this, Kiddo," she says, "Where's it at?"

"Where's what?" asks Jevoi.

"Don't be coy~, Jevoi~," sings Tanglepork, "The faeriedust: where is it?"

"You think I'm some addict?" snarls Jevoi, still dripping wet, "Why would I have that?"

"You make it?" Tanglepork's voice carries sarcastic confusion. "I'm the one keeping my overzealous deputies from undoing your mommy."

"Cretin," yells Jevoi, "You have done my mum!"

"Every woman in town has done your mommy," Tanglepork rolls her pretty little eyes, "Regardless, you need to pay your taxes~."

"I'm not bribing you," says Jevoi, "How did you even get in here?"

L: I wish.

A: She doesn't pay taxes?

J: That's not- can we focus here?

"I asked Lurentooz for the key." Tanglepork holds up a purple tendril-esque key; it squirms in her hand. "Even out here, the law is abided."

Polearm Vs Gun

Bushido Blade has a pair of characters that use guns. This also let's me show you the hit sparks of the game. Blue is good defense, green is bad defense, white is neutral clash, orange is nonlethal hit, and red spray is DEATH.

Hokkyoku Tsubame with her M16 cannot deal with the point-blank assault. Maybe she should have stuck with her sword.

Mikado refuses to let Schuvaltz Katze even stand to aim his Revolver. Most of the cast have a low opinion on the hired gun.

Baffling that tumblr thinks character face sprites and game manual pages are "mature", but death gifs aren't.

Mikado Mirror

There are so many death animations in Bushido Blade 1 and a few in the sequel. For some reason (probably demons), I recorded Mikado ending herself for more than six minutes straight.

Just screaming and dying for six minutes.

WLC 6.D: Am I Glad that We're Not Frozen in Here

After getting their clothes, Ling once again plots a course.

"Question, mate," says Ling, following Zingiber into the junk-filled chamber, "Heard some kids have been coming out this way. They with you?"

"Oh," Zingiber squeaks slightly and giggles, "Yeah, those kobolds have been a huge help. Huge help." She laughs quietly, but, as Ling can no longer deny, evilly.

The comatose bull still stands in silent indignity, yet still towers over the elf and gex.

"I've been practicing a few spells on this dummy," says Zingiber, "But Gudrun still needs him for her plans, so I can only do weak reversible s**t to him, like Torsion spells."

Ling laughs. "Ah, reminds me of school," she says, secretly casting a spell, "B*****ds spamming that spell so much, that the whole place had Genital Shield Mirror up at all times."

L: Morality classes really should mandatory at wizard schools, to introduce the concept at least.

"You must have SO many stories about spells," says Zingiber, getting too close for Ling's sense of safety, "Especially about the o̶̢̡͇͇͚̣̮̖͍̠̗̱̍͋͑̔̿̉̿̌̀̎̕͜r̶̛͈̜̭͉͍͚̃̋͐̆͛̐͗̈́̎̏̕c̸̢̨̞̹͈̙̠͉̋́̀͝ ̴̗̱͈̙͉̪̝̳̣̝͕̩̮͉̫̖͒̽͊̓̓̅͊̆͌͜w̴̛̝̟̤͊̏͐́̌̓̄̑͒̒͗͗͗̃̚͜͝ả̶͔̣͖̘̳̫̜͓͕͒̇̉̇̕̕͘͝r̶̢̧̢̛̜͇̯̖̘̘͉̗͗̅̎́͑̈̋̌͆̅͛̕̕͝."

L: Aargh. J: What's wrong? About the what? L: Don't remember...

A sudden pounding pulses through Ling's brain like SONAR through unlucky fish. She grips her head and hisses.

"What's wrong?" The elf takes a step back. "Do you need something?"

"Water," says Ling, scraping her claws along her head-scales, "Get me water."

"On it!" sings Zingiber, "Be right ba-ack." She prances down the corridor.

Ling immediately turns her attention to the sheriff, fighting to clear her thoughts. "Alright, cavebull, time to unf**k your brain." Harnessing her knowledge of physical brains, Ling attempts to counter the hex holding Honeycrisp. Grabbing his head, she channels a torrent of magic through it. The process puts her own mind back at ease.

The light returns to Honeycrisp's eyes. They dart about his head in confusion before settling on Ling. "Get your w***e hands off me," he growls, pushing Ling away.

"Ya're welcome, ya b*****d." Regret surges forth like an open wound.

WLC 3.4: Up to Gank

Gash leads Jevoi up the stairs to the safest part of the tower, behind the shell of the Tarasque. Feeling her bitterness of being led away, he asks, "Who is your 'nana'?"

"You really want to know?" Jevoi's voice is sudden and loud. "Nana Ning's the coolest. She's super-fast and has all of the knives."

"Is that so?" asks Gash, looking over his shoulder, "What can she do with them?"

"She's a super sneaky acrobat and kills bad guys," says Jevoi running ahead of Gash, "I want to be just like her!" She turns back toward him. "But Mum hates Nana, she'll never let me."

"Yeah, I get it," says Gash, "My ma was against me learning magic." He manifests and twirls a knife before banishing it.

"But you did anyway?" asks Jevoi looking up into his eyes, "How did ya do it?"

Gash hesitates, but decides to answer, "My sister and I ran away from home."

L: I'ma kill him.

"But you shouldn't."

"Why not?" whines Jevoi.

"Your ma's a wizard; she'll catch you," he leans down and whispers, "So you should study all her tricks first; that way she can't catch you." He stands up and continues on as roaring and explosions occur in the distance.

L: Death threat rescinded.

Jevoi gasps, "You're really smart, Mr. Gash!"

Gash laughs, "That's why Boss Mel trusts me. Now right through here is Gank."

"Who's she?" asks Jevoi, as further explosions sound from outside.

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" He opens a door, and says, "Hey, Gank, got someone for you to meet."

The bedroom's walls are decorated with stars and crescents. The plum bed is almost as big as Ling's. Lying on the bed, idly kicking her feet and reading a large tome is a teenage reptilian with a spiky armored body and four clawed arms. She's wearing a black wig with a magenta stripe in its bangs and tiny black trunks.

D: Is that why you wear that wig? J: It looks great, right?

Jevoi hides behind Gash's leg, too nervous to approach.

"What d'ya want, old man?" asks Gank. She looks up from her book. "Need me to babysit for ya?"

WLC 2.E: Only Human

"Never met a human before," says Ling, "Did ya come down here yourself?"

Melandria nods, still eating.

"Why'd ya do it? How'd ya do it?"

Melandria finishes the potato. "I needed to get away," she says, opening her arms wide, "As you can see, I'm a freak."

"I don't see it," says Ling, "I just see a woman tired of being treated like s***e. Not particularly uncommon."

"Darkness flows through me," says Melandria as the distant shadows over the room flare up, "I belong to the depths, unfettered by the physical world."

L: Or would that flare down?

J: Don't overthink it, Mum.

"Don't cut yourself on that edge, mate," says Ling, walking about to inspect the throne, "'Sides, ya're a queen; ya've got people that like ya."

"Three people," says Melandria, somberly, then her voice picks back up, "Maybe four?"

"Three?" Ling turns suddenly. "How are you a queen with only three subjects?"

"I'm not," says Melandria, "The Shadow Queen is just a cool title. I control literal darkness; I am the queen of shadows. No one lives in this underground sandpit."

Ling throws her arms into the air. "Brilliant," she says, "B****y brilliant." She begins walking toward the door.

"Wait," says Melandria, "I still want to know about this business idea you had."

Ling turns back to the not-actually-a-queen. "I'm researching how to grow food in the Underdank, but-"

Melandria's red eyes light up. "Then I would love to help!" She sways to the side and mutters to herself, "A chance to prove I'm not a monster."

"Ya're not a monster," says Ling, "Your body doesn't define ya."

"You don't know what they called me on the surface."

"And ya don't know what they called me at school."

D: What did they call you at school?

L: Ya don't need to know that.

"Still," says Melandria, racing over to Ling, "I won't take 'no' for an answer." She puffs out her chest. "My appearance is how I'm judged down here too; I had to work myself back up to monster. The orcs, the Vrow, I'm an object to them."

Ling nods. "I may not look it," she says, licking her eyes, "But I have a similar rep. 'DuMb LiZaRd BrAiN.'"

"Was that your school name?" Melandria opens the door into the foyer and leads out.

"I worked myself up to the bad one," smugly says Ling, following, "How'd ya think I got in here? Speaking of: ya've got two tallgoblins working for ya, so who's the third?"

"An extremely encouraging young woman," says Melandria with a smile, "Named Kirono."