I Carry The Weight Of My Parents Mistakes.

Yeah, I did want more.

I gave you my whole identity, my life, my time, my trust, my innocence.

I wrote poems, burned cds, took you around the world.

I wanted more from you. I wanted all of you.

Craving intimacy.

Kisses on foreheads, gentle touches, sweet words, to be treated like I’m fragile even though I’ve built my walls out of stone. For someone to kiss me anywhere but my mouth. My mouth is dirty, filled with blood and strangers spit, spewing filthy, clumsy words. Treat me like I’m brand new, never been used, not dirty.

I know your actions came from a place of hurt, but that doesn’t excuse them. I don’t hate you for that, but how could you treat someone you love like that?

Mother, the growing pains are unbearable. Give me the past 5 years back. Let me feel the sand on my feet again. Let me crawl into your arms and sink into your skin. When will the sound of my own name be familiar again? When will I be a kid again?

It hurts but the pain reminds me I’m alive!!! What is the point of life if you’re not loving and growing!!! I feel so alive and it’s so beautiful!!!

Bbg

When you said, “is this okay?” I nearly lost my breath, nobody has ever asked me that before.

They hurt me so bad i redownloaded tumblr

I wish I wasn’t stupid.

I can’t do math, my writing is shit, I can’t pay attention, I can’t sing, I can’t dance, I’m not confident, I’m not pretty.

I’m watching all my friends get ahead of me. They excel in all their subjects so easily. I’m struggling to get passing grades.

I know I’m smart, I just wish I wasn’t the only one aware.

I’m smart enough to understand the look they give me when I ask stupid questions. I’m smart enough to understand why they act like they don’t know me in the hallways.

I just wish I had something to show for myself so I wouldn’t be so overlooked. I just wish I wasn’t stupid enough to believe everyone that doubts me.

I just wish I wasn’t so so stupid.

My love is faithful. If I love you now, I’ll love you forever.