Carrotsarelies - I Make Up Lies When My Friends Ask To Meet Up

STRANGER THINGS + text dynamics

Fedyor: Ivan, we get to meet the sun summoner! Zomgz!

Ivan: So.

I love them. Fedyor fanboys and Ivan is not impressed. You can write this. You know, if you wanted to. :)

“You know,” Fedyor says, as they leave the dining hall after supper. “You could be a little nicer to her, Vanya.”

“What?” Ivan is preoccupied with the news from the messenger, the mounting casualties on the Fjerdan border, and the way their great vaunted hope, their so-called living saint, is sitting and giggling with her girlfriends and eating figs. “What are you talking about? I told her that she should be training more! That was not inaccurate!”

“Maybe it wasn’t,” Fedyor says patiently, “but she is the Sun Summoner! And she has only just learned that she is Grisha. If you helped her feel more at ease, perhaps she would learn faster or – ”

“It is not my job to coddle some orphan from the country who cheated her way out of her power being discovered as a child,” Ivan interrupts brusquely. “Everyone else in the Little Palace treats her as if she is made out of pretty porcelain. She is a soldier in the Second Army now, no more, no less. Did she not learn that in the First?”

“She was a cartographer, darling. Not an infantryman.”

“I don’t care!” Ivan barks, causing a nearby Squaller to jump, look at him anxiously, and scuttle away. “If it was up to me, she would be sleeping with the rest of the recruits in the barracks, not given her own lavish room and all the servants who fetch and carry whatever she wants! No more special treatment, no – ”

“Has anyone ever told you what a terrible grump you are?” Fedyor drapes his arm on Ivan’s shoulder as they reach the staircase. “I do have to wonder.”

“Yes. You. Frequently.”

“I mean, anyone aside from me.”

Ivan shrugs. “No idea. Why should I care what other people apart from you and the general think of me?”

Fedyor grins. “You know, if everyone wasn’t so scared of you, I swear you would have been murdered in your sleep by now.”

“Good. They can be scared of me.” Ivan reaches up and links his fingers through Fedyor’s. As they climb to the top of the stairs and step out into the hallway beyond, he asks, “Do you really believe that only one girl in all of Ravka can banish the Fold?”

“I don’t know,” Fedyor says, suddenly serious. “But you know that I grew up only twenty miles from Kribirsk. I saw the crossings, I heard about the people who died, I was put to bed at night with scary stories of how the volcra would eat me if I was not a good boy. Once on a dare, I went all the way to the edge with two of my friends. We were... seven? Eight? When my mother heard what I had done, she tanned my arse so hard she broke her best wooden spoon. She was... she was scared.” He pauses. “I saw it in her face. The Fold is real, Vanya. And it’s terrifying, and terrible. If Alina can banish it – ”

Ivan feels an oblique prickle of guilt. He grew up in Chernast, far from the Fold’s frontiers, even if he heard about the Unsea like everyone else. But until he was recruited into the Second Army and became the general’s right-hand man, he never saw it for himself, not in the same way Fedyor does, and did. It is an abstract to him, a simple problem of military strategy, and he is impatient with people who treat it as some great divine judgment. “You know I am not a believer in the Saints, Fedya,” he says, more gently. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea to trust one girl more than this. More than us.”

“You know.” Fedyor tilts his head back, a smile playing across his lips. “Underneath all the gruff, you’re really a bit of a romantic.”

“I’m not,” Ivan says, failing to frown as totally as he usually does. “You’re mistaken.”

“Mm.” Fedyor links his arm around Ivan’s waist, kisses him on the cheek, and they walk the rest of the way to their quarters in comfortable silence. As they close the door and get ready to sleep, then crawl into bed together, Ivan thinks that General Kirigan, and indeed all of Ravka, can keep Alina Starkov and her magical hands. He has all the sunlight he needs, right here in his arms.

Everyone in the SP universe calling Ghastly ugly and I’m just here thinking he’s like one of the most handsome people I’ve ever seen. Others include Dexter vex, Saracen Rue and Erskine- because I still refuse to accept ghastly’s death

Care to debate abortion?

Nah

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

What are your favourite ao3 sexter fics?

anon ily so much. here u go mwah

arsenic and old friends by mielipieli - AHHHHHHHHHHHH. that time when erskine poisoned saracen to learn his discipline except saracen is actually a sensitive. CONCERNED DEXTER! this fic makes me want to kill people its so good. one of my fave dead men fics in general

way down we go by dafirenze and jackswest - i thought this was a cowboy au. its not but its still very good! unfinished as of now, and the secter doesnt get very far (and both are introduced much later) but i am a sucker for period typical internalised homophobia <3 all the characters are super interesting (but larrikin isnt there)

(everything past this is just listed by when it was uploaded to ao3)

you and me by wildeisms - POST TDOTL FLUFF!!! no angst here baby only jokes and recovery

the bet by klstarre - actually i rec all of klstarres sexter fics but this one is less angsty more humour and i like it :3

aries rising by astrodisea - i promise im nearly done with the post tdotl fics i just really like them. more recovery fluff!

lord vexington by protectoroffaeries - i am not one for hp aus but! i thought this one was really cute! maybe im biased cause i think dexters cute but. oh well

on good terms by cirrusgrey - MORE RECOV- im kidding. post night of knives, the joys of miscommunication!

lie to me - ITS NOT ANGSTY I PROMISE its very cute, pre canon sexter reminiscing :3

smoke gets in your eyes by soupmetaphors - YES YESYESYES. preslash reimagining of how saracen and dexter met. very very nice ending scene :D

out in the open by sunflower_saracen - you can never have enough post todtl healing. very sweet. im running out of descriptors

better to have three februaries than a spring like this by printedwithsoyink - reunion fics. mmmm. ive reread this one a lot, set during the first book. healing i think!

my heart will barefaced lie by carloabay - MORE WAR ERA FIC YAY i love pining

star-crossed by swordfaery - the only sow fic! this is just part of sow from saracens pov it hurts me but its still cute somehow

My dog does this sort of half bark thing that sounds a bit like ‘bruh’ so my mum started calling him Hercules Mulligan

Heyyy, any aroallo people want to message me and be friends?

Anybody know any books were a prince falls in love with a gardener boy or something like that. I saw a post and now I can’t get it out of my head

(Dexter Vex/Saracen Rue) (They’ve been together for a few years in this)

Oh god, this quick scene has been in my head for days

Dexter and Saracen stood shoulder-to-shoulder waiting to cross the street. They shared a single umbrella to protect them from the night’s pouring rain. Saracen had been considering something Valkyrie had asked.

“Do you want to get married?” Saracen queried. Dexter looked up at him, “Hmm?”

Saracen hesitated, “Would you be happier if we got married?” Dexter gripped his gloved hand with his own.

“I am happy. I love you,” Dexter assured him, “Would you be happier?”

He shook his head, “No. Val brought it up and I’ve just been wondering. I don’t care about getting married.” Then he added, “But if you ever wanted to, I would immediately.”

Saracen rested his head against Dexter’s shoulder, “I feel the same way.” In return, Dexter squeezed his hand tighter. “Do you want kids?” he blurted.

Saracen choked, “God no.”

Dexter Laughed, “Me neither.”

“We would be terrible parents,” Saracen grinned.

“Yes. Yes, we would.”