Au Where Cas Just Doesn’t Give A Fuck And Flirts Back W Dean

↳ the children and grandchildren of Edward IV that survived infancy

(requested by anonymous)

(On the phone)

Sam: What happened

Dean: Remember when you told me not to burn down the bunker

Sam: You burnt down the bunker!!!

Dean: No I had the fire put out almost immediately. This is a success story

you reblogging this just reminded me but — everyone talks about how Ivan has his hand on Fedyor’s knee when he asks him if he’s alright during the carriage attack scene, but there’s not enough spotlight on the fact that Fedyor briefly grabs Ivan’s hand too (to reassure Ivan? Comfort himself? Maybe both?)

anyways just a PSA i’d like to scream into the void

Look. There is NOTHING about that scene that is not totally hilarious and/or delightful from a Fivan perspective. It's all solid gold.

Ivan grumpily ordering Alina to stay put and Fedyor pausing to be like "I promise you that my boo means well, he just has the worst people skills in the history of time?" Gold.

The synchronized husband heartrending? Gold.

Ivan absolutely flipping his shit/having his life flash before his eyes when Fedyor gets hit, rushing out into heavy gunfire to get to him, sliding up as close as possible to ask if he is all right, and grabbing his husband's barely wounded knee with both hands? Gold.

Ivan demanding of the nearest Heartrender to do a very, very basic job of counting the number of enemy heartbeats? Because I guess he can't do that while clinging to Fedyor? Gold.

Ivan yelling, "GET BACK TO THE CARRIAGE AND PROTECT THE GIRL" like it's only NOW occurred to him that that's what he was supposed to be doing the whole fucking time, while he himself is in fact doing dum dum diddlysquat, and of course he's not going anywhere because Fedyor has an owie? GOLD.

Kirigan charging in there like SAINTS I GUESS I HAVE TO DO THIS MYSELF, THANKS FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU USELESS ASS GAY HENCHMAN? GOLD.

Because truly, how UTTERLY USELESS Ivan, the most feared Heartrender in the entire Second Army, becomes in that entire scene from the moment Fedyor is hit? GOLD, I SAY, GOLD.

(And yes Fedyor does reach out and grab Ivan's hand for a second there, ack.)

Anyway. They're idiots. I love them.

→ Quotes from Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowell

follow the link for more!

male characters are at their most relatable when they have a weakness for insane women

Y’all being pregnant while moving into a new house is BUCKWILD

My husband is an intelligent man, but he has gotten in his head that if I lift one box I will PERISH

Fedyor: Ivan, we get to meet the sun summoner! Zomgz!

Ivan: So.

I love them. Fedyor fanboys and Ivan is not impressed. You can write this. You know, if you wanted to. :)

“You know,” Fedyor says, as they leave the dining hall after supper. “You could be a little nicer to her, Vanya.”

“What?” Ivan is preoccupied with the news from the messenger, the mounting casualties on the Fjerdan border, and the way their great vaunted hope, their so-called living saint, is sitting and giggling with her girlfriends and eating figs. “What are you talking about? I told her that she should be training more! That was not inaccurate!”

“Maybe it wasn’t,” Fedyor says patiently, “but she is the Sun Summoner! And she has only just learned that she is Grisha. If you helped her feel more at ease, perhaps she would learn faster or – ”

“It is not my job to coddle some orphan from the country who cheated her way out of her power being discovered as a child,” Ivan interrupts brusquely. “Everyone else in the Little Palace treats her as if she is made out of pretty porcelain. She is a soldier in the Second Army now, no more, no less. Did she not learn that in the First?”

“She was a cartographer, darling. Not an infantryman.”

“I don’t care!” Ivan barks, causing a nearby Squaller to jump, look at him anxiously, and scuttle away. “If it was up to me, she would be sleeping with the rest of the recruits in the barracks, not given her own lavish room and all the servants who fetch and carry whatever she wants! No more special treatment, no – ”

“Has anyone ever told you what a terrible grump you are?” Fedyor drapes his arm on Ivan’s shoulder as they reach the staircase. “I do have to wonder.”

“Yes. You. Frequently.”

“I mean, anyone aside from me.”

Ivan shrugs. “No idea. Why should I care what other people apart from you and the general think of me?”

Fedyor grins. “You know, if everyone wasn’t so scared of you, I swear you would have been murdered in your sleep by now.”

“Good. They can be scared of me.” Ivan reaches up and links his fingers through Fedyor’s. As they climb to the top of the stairs and step out into the hallway beyond, he asks, “Do you really believe that only one girl in all of Ravka can banish the Fold?”

“I don’t know,” Fedyor says, suddenly serious. “But you know that I grew up only twenty miles from Kribirsk. I saw the crossings, I heard about the people who died, I was put to bed at night with scary stories of how the volcra would eat me if I was not a good boy. Once on a dare, I went all the way to the edge with two of my friends. We were... seven? Eight? When my mother heard what I had done, she tanned my arse so hard she broke her best wooden spoon. She was... she was scared.” He pauses. “I saw it in her face. The Fold is real, Vanya. And it’s terrifying, and terrible. If Alina can banish it – ”

Ivan feels an oblique prickle of guilt. He grew up in Chernast, far from the Fold’s frontiers, even if he heard about the Unsea like everyone else. But until he was recruited into the Second Army and became the general’s right-hand man, he never saw it for himself, not in the same way Fedyor does, and did. It is an abstract to him, a simple problem of military strategy, and he is impatient with people who treat it as some great divine judgment. “You know I am not a believer in the Saints, Fedya,” he says, more gently. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea to trust one girl more than this. More than us.”

“You know.” Fedyor tilts his head back, a smile playing across his lips. “Underneath all the gruff, you’re really a bit of a romantic.”

“I’m not,” Ivan says, failing to frown as totally as he usually does. “You’re mistaken.”

“Mm.” Fedyor links his arm around Ivan’s waist, kisses him on the cheek, and they walk the rest of the way to their quarters in comfortable silence. As they close the door and get ready to sleep, then crawl into bed together, Ivan thinks that General Kirigan, and indeed all of Ravka, can keep Alina Starkov and her magical hands. He has all the sunlight he needs, right here in his arms.