Fuck It. I Went For It. It's Mine Now.

it was not on wheat...

something blue

My system is traumagenic. I'm pretty fucking sure. But I hesitate to say that I have a dissociative disorder. Even though I have been seeing a trauma specialist for almost five years now, my system is open with him about our experiences as far as we are comfortable, he acknowledges us individually, he has helped us work together, and he's told us that if we ever do want to see someone who specializes in dissociative disorders (which he is not, he "just" specializes in PTSD) that he would be happy to refer us.

Our decision with regards to my system is that "it is what it is." I don't have a formal diagnosis and I don't want one. The PTSD diagnosis has been enough to get treated. There's a lot of medicolegal bullshit that can happen from having something so severe in your medical record. Unless my system gets to a point where we feel that even more specialized care is something we need, we don't see any medical reason to pursue that. Frankly this is the first therapist that my system has had overall good rapport with and I don't want to switch. Neither does my host.

I also don't see the existence of my system as something that is disordered by necessity. Our collective trauma is the injury that we need to heal from, not our multiplicity. When I think about what I want for my system, I don't see a future where we disappear or become someone else. I see a future where we are all safe and happy.

this scene is so affectionate it makes me sick. i’m actually so obsessed with it oh my god. ☹️

Even if you were a difficult child, you didn't deserve to be hurt.

As someone who makes webcomics, I miss that tiny sliver of history when indie creators of ongoing, labor-intensive passion projects finally had the means to fund their work via subscription, but big businesses hadn't yet realized they could unnecessarily milk more money from every customer by turning single-purchase products into subscriptions for no reason.

did you know?

eating can make you be not lightheaded

The thing is. Forcibly drugging someone IS violence. Forcibly restraining someone IS violence. Locking someone up against their will IS violence. Denying people basic bodily autonomy is inherently violent. Psychiatry is a carceral institution that commonly uses violence in the name of "treatment". But we as a society have accepted this violence as "necessary treatment", so instead of talking about the inherent trauma of forced treatment, we just pathologize mentally ill people for reacting to these violent acts with anything but calm acceptance. And while we basically never question whether it's acceptable to forcibly lock up and drug a mentally ill person, their very human attempts to defend their body against this violence will then be seen as "proof" that they deserve it and need it instead of the self defense it is