I Don't Get Why There Are No Resources For Healthy Expressions Of Anger. Are We As A Society Fundamentally

I don't get why there are no resources for healthy expressions of anger. Are we as a society fundamentally opposed to people feeling anger? Are we afraid that if people get angry they're going to cause destruction so as an alternative we want anger to just not exist? Anger will go somewhere regardless of whether we want it to exist or not, and if a person who has good reasons to be angry, is not allowed to feel angry, they'll get eaten by self hatred and depression because that's what internalizing anger does.

It's also interesting that when abusers and people in power are angry, they can pretty much do whatever they like. Say no to them, they're having crazy revenges, they're tearing apart your stuff, they're starting wars, they're telling you how they're going to kill you in detail, no self restraint, no consequences, nothing. Anger is theirs to do as they please with and in response the society is just, too scared to do anything, so they assume that this specific anger is 'justified' and 'cannot be helped'. However when victims of something are angry, then they're labelled as 'unreasonable' and 'dangerous' and 'unable to move on from things'. Their anger is a problem that needs to be squashed, erased, there's apparently no justifications for these people to be angry, nothing that is reasonable or okay for them to do about it, they just get demonized and shamed for having a completely rational response to injustice.

Is that it then? Those who are able to act out on their anger, get justifications and obedience, but those who are helpless but angry for very good reasons, are just to be suffocated? Anger is allowed only for some parts of human society and it's the most violent, destructive and dangerous part of it too? Where is this getting us? Is the amount of injustice ever going to decrease if we defend injustice, and fight for it to keep going on?

If I look up ways to express anger, I get stuff like 'anger management steps', and 'letting go and moving on from anger', like excuse me. I didn't even get to express 1% of my anger and I need anger management? I have never had problems with controlling my anger, the struggle is to get it out at all! To integrate it into my personality, to hold people accountable without having to think about it, to show resistance when I'm being stepped on! What anger management? Why am I pushed to move away from anger, I haven't even arrived to anger!

Why is it assumed that every person who struggles with expressing anger is a maniac breaking things, enacting revenges, trying to injure or murder people, lashing out and doing harm to everyone around themselves. I can guess why. Because all of the resources are created for people who are letting their anger run wild without a cap and who use anger to get their way. The world is adjusted for people who are allowed to be angry, who were never pushed to the point where getting angry meant loss of survival, where expressions of anger would lead to torture. I am apparently not even considered to exist. I'm either a maniac or not a target audience for anger resources.

If someone's been traumatized out of being able to feel angry, people don't think it's worth having this person angry. It's very obvious this person has giant reasons for anger, so if we let them feel it, they could become 'dangerous', or 'just like their abuser'. You know, being angry at the abuser does not make anyone like the abuser, it makes them Normal. Rational. Having Self Worth. Human. Logical. Reasonable. Engaging in everyone's best fucking interest because you know that abuser is going wreck havoc forever and if nobody is even angry at them, it's giving them an even easier time. Anger is scary when it's in hands of abusers, in the hands of victims it is liberating, just, it puts things into perspective and back where they belong.

Now give me the fucking resources to get angry. I'm sick and tired of hating myself.

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cainterburytales

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cainterburytales

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I've never had an entire account that's just mine before and that's what we're trying to do with this one now. Going back and forth on if I want to stick to the plan (main blog inactive except for long articles & maybe shit we both like if my host is cofronting/coconscious) or if I want to have different shit on each one.

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gen415

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cainterburytales

7 months ago

How do you figure out everyone's names?

question 46:

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for me i was born that way (and now experimenting very intentionally) for the others it just happened my protector didn't have a name and one day he just did and the two others that have names? same vibe didn't and one day just did no conscious choice involved

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cainterburytales

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cainterburytales

2 months ago

Dissociative amnesia is most often retrograde! This is why lots of people don't realize that they have more severe amnesia than they think.

What I mean by this is let's say your persecutor part switches in and says some horrible stuff. It's not necessarily that you (whoever was fronting before/the host) weren't there for those actions, but rather after the fact, the brain compartmentalizes those memories to stay with the persecutor part.

And adding onto this it can be localized, selective, or generalized (which is what often clues people in that something is seriously wrong and often only occurs during times of severe stress)

While dissociative amnesia can be anterograde (blocking the formation of new memories) that is seen more in dissociative fugue states or during active trauma.

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cainterburytales

2 months ago

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cainterburytales

2 months ago

switching things up (pinned post)

About me

Co-host. Among other things.

Traumagenic.

Audiophile and art enthusiast.

Terrorpunk.

Anti-psychiatry. Not opposed to uncoerced treatment.

Neutral to all good faith identities. I do mean all.

About my systemmate & this blog

My systemmate follows from dualita and used this as their main blog until April 2025. We changed that because the two of us wanted to follow separate people. I took over this one because I'm more active and I already followed a bunch of people on this account for my side blog. I still post there, but mostly just art reblogs now.

Tagging system

#gen415 - personal

#ref - reference (mostly longer posts)

#for someone - age regression

#sys shit - system related reblogs mostly

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cainterburytales

2 months ago

System Ask Game #3

🦴 - Is anyone in your system dating? If so, who is the strangest pair?

💀 - Is there a particular source you have a lot of fictives from?

🪦 - Who has the strangest habits?

⚰️ - Do you have any nonverbal headmates?

🕷 - Who is the worst at masking?

🕸 - How did your headmates get their names?

☠️ - Do you have any headmates with colored hair,piercings, or tattoos?

🔪 - How consistent are you with logging switches?

🧿 - Is there anyone who spends most of their time in front complaining?

🎃 - Is there anything specific you do to help introjects feel more comfortable?

👻 - How did you discover your plurality/systemhood?

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🦇 - Are there any songs that you associate with systemhood/plurality or your system as a whole?

🐈‍⬛- Is there anyone who identifies as otherkin/therian?

🔮 - How does your system determine who handles certain tasks/responsibilities?

🧟‍♂️ - Who is the most outwardly intimating? Are they viewed the same way within the system?

🕯- Do your system's littles use "Baby Talk"?

⛓️ - Funniest quote out of context

⬛ - Is there anyone who has a unique/ non-traditional role?

🪳 - How do you visualize your headmates? (Drawing them,picrew,etc)

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cainterburytales

2 months ago

I don’t know what trans guy needs to hear this but please break up and cut off with that person trying to convince you not to transition. They don’t care about your happiness.

Go get that masculine hair cut. Change your wardrobe. Go on T. Get top and/or bottom surgery. Do what makes you happy, and don’t let anyone try to tell you their comfort matters more then your happiness.

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cainterburytales

2 months ago

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

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