Bibliophiliac-bisexual-disaster - Emo? Nerd? Emo Nerd.

Part of why I dragged my feet on ever checking out JJK was the reputation I heard was that it's a BRUTAL grimdark story where ANYONE can DIE in a snap and the author says FUCK you. And after finally catching up with the anime that just... Isn't the tone at all?? Like, Game of Thrones, Gantz, Attack on Titan, etc other cornerstone grimdark reference points, I think one of their defining hallmarks is not just that characters die suddenly and violently, but that human life is nasty, brutish, and meaningless, and it's your own fault for being stupid enough to get attached.

Jujutsu Kaisen on the other hand, I don't know how you can look at one of the most recent casualties circa S2Ep20 of the anime where that character gets a full entire episode reminiscing about their childhood, and the moments and people that meant most to them, and come away thinking the author's intent was to treat life as meaningless. The amount of screen time devoted to the following character who gets badly maimed, the audience gets enthusiastically shoved neck deep into their insane kaleidoscopic passion that is never once undercut or subverted. Both of these characters, far from being callously snuffed out and dumped in the trash, were shown immense love. What we got was not a statement of their life being disposable, but a celebration of life, a reminder of who they are, what they cared about, what made them special, who they loved and who loved them and will remember them in turn.

This is a story about curses born of misery, hatred, and malice. It is also a story deeply concerned with dualism, especially when it comes to attachment and desire. Misery stems from worldly attachments, but it is not weak or foolish to become attached to things in this world. To love something is to set yourself up for the pain or anger of losing it, or sadness of having it denied. But that love is what makes life worth living anyway, and what makes it worth it to keep fighting. We as the audience are sad because we are attached to these characters who have met terrible fates. We see enough of them to be able to clearly picture the whole rich life they could have lived surrounded by friends and feel the sting of that path cut short. It is a story about how it was worthwhile knowing them well enough to be attached anyway, even if it meant unavoidable heartbreak.

This is true of both the human protagonists as well as the curses! Volcano Man and Mahito are ruthless killers who cruelly take lives without a thought. They also have hopes and dreams that they earnestly try to protect and follow through on, and face heartbreaking despair upon defeat. They feel pain just like we do, but must nevertheless be killed. Humans face pain through the very act of living, but nevertheless must live.

In true grimdark fiction there is rarely anything good in life for characters to return to once the battle is over. In Jujutsu Kaisen, on the contrary, there is enough good in life that we see it even amidst the battle. I can see that no other way than an expression of genuine affection. Truly bleak fiction leaves me wondering why everyone involved doesn't just put a gun in their mouth and be done with it. JJK provides an answer--because you'll get to laugh about ruining an expensive shirt, because you'll meet an acquaintance's hot mom, because the next human earthworm movie is coming out, because your favorite idol is doing a meet and greet this weekend, because maybe someday you'll finally go to Malaysia. There are many answers, and none of them are stupid.

Yeah Katniss Is Lucy Gray’s greatest revenge on snow

But Peeta is how she haunts him. 

Katniss is Lucy’s anger. She’s the retribution. 

Katniss is fire. Katniss used her songs as a warcry. As a call to arms. 

Katniss is the fight. 

Katniss is the revenge. 

Peeta is Lucy’s kindness.  He’s the reminder. 

A boy in love with a songbird. A boy obsessed with with a victor from twelve. 

Peeta is the good that Lucy was. Peeta believes in that fundamental kindness Lucy gray did. Peeta is her memory. The reminder that Snow crossed that line into evil. 

Even after being high jacked, peeta warns people. He tells them to flee the danger. Run like Lucy did. 

Peeta knows how to hide. He can disappear in the woods. 

Just like Lucy did. 

Peeta is charismatic, someone the capitol fell in love with, like they did with Lucy. 

Peeta is the memory. 

Katniss was there to end Snow, to stop him to make sure everything he built was burned. 

Peeta was there to torment him. Be the ghost of Lucy. Make sure Snow was in pain over the woman he lost. 

"if i was orpheus i would simply not turn around" yes you would. if you were orpheus and you loved eurydice, you would. to love someone is to turn around. to love someone is to look at them. whichever version of the myth — he hears her stumble, he can't hear her at all, he thinks he's been tricked — he turns around because he loves her. that's why it's a tragedy. because he loves her enough to save her. because he loves her so much he can't save her. because he will always, always turn around. "if i was orpheus i would simply —" you wouldn't be orpheus. you wouldn't be brave enough to walk into the underworld and save the person you love. be serious

I get up and eat breakfast

The people in Gaza are starving

I sit and browse the internet

She was trapped in that car for 2 weeks

I take my medication and pain killers

Every hospital in Gaza has been bombed; there is no medicine

I go out and run errands

They were told the South would be safe

At night I sleep in my bed warm and safe

At night Israel is bombing Rafah; there's no where left to go

Protests Resources

Operation Olive Branch - adopt a Palestinian family to help them cross to Egypt, it costs thousand of dollars per person in order to leave. It's ok if you do not have money to donate, but please please keep reblogging

On Feeld, where curious people come to connect, you can now add a ✨celibacy✨tag to your profile—and search for others who do the same. Find your thing. Find everything when you download Feeld. 

You know how I know that AI will never be able to create like a human? Whether that be painting or writing or film-making?

Because no computer, no algorithm, no matter how good, can tell a story like a human can.

Shakespeare wrote his most famous tragedies from the mire of grief from losing his son to the plague. Oscar Wilde's "A Picture of Dorian Gray" had such overtly homosexual themes that the book was literally used against him when he was on trial. The shock and horror of 9/11 inspired My Chemical Romance to come together and capture the sense of disillusionment of young people at the time. Hozier today writes his songs expressing what it means to be an increasingly fascist world while still holding an enduring love of humanity. Arthur Miller wrote "The Crucible" using the witch hunts as a thinly veiled allegory to criticize McCarthyism in the 50s, a play that did, in fact have him persecuted for "contempt of congress". An entire period of Picasso's art was noticeably influenced by the suicide of his friend, but he also had other works that were inspired by his various love affairs.

If you still think AI could eventually create like that, you're missing the point. You think it's about skill, you think it's just about craft. We're aware that AI can learn any skill, excel at craft. But a story isn't the words you use, or the events that happened; a story is the person that tells it and the beauty they felt that they share with you when you experience the art. Because art itself isnt about the perfection of its presentation, its the messiness of the human experience. Your AI has no life, it has no story, it can make as many esthetically pleasing works as you want, but it cannot make art.

Hunger Games fanfic blurb:

I sipped the last of my water, slow as I could, hoping it would tide me awhile through the heat of the Hobb. Business was slow today. Not that we make much on other days, selling trinkets and scraps of metal and cloth in a district where most people could barely buy bread. But we scrape by.

But today, I hadn't a single body come by to look at the wares. Although, I s'pose, when you've got a Reaping tomorrow, you're probably not in a buying sorta mood. Even Greasy Sae is selling her stew for half price today for the youngins that usually come around to her corner.

Speaking of the youngins, one of them walks my way. The one with stern eyes who brings fresh game from the woods. The butcher's wife says she hunts 'em with a bow and her arrows never miss the mark. Must be nice to have a useful trade like that. Sometimes, she trades me berries for balls of yarn. That's probably what she's making her way over for.

Never got her name. I call her "Stern Eyes" and word around the Seam is she sings like a songbird. My Gammy Maude would've liked that. She gives me berries wrapped in cloth, and I give her the yarn. But she doesn't walk away.

She reaches her hand into one of the boxes, the one with old pins for hair and clothes that might've been pretty once but had gotten rusty and dusty since. Then she pulls out that pin. Gammy Maude's pin that used to belong to her friend. The friend with bad luck in love and even worse in life. Some say she ran away, and some say got shot in the woods by her lover. Gammy said her friend used to sing too. Like a songbird.

Gammy never liked that pin much. Said it never brought nothing but bad luck. I think it just reminded her too much of her friend and the lover who might've shot her. But she still kept the pin till she died. Guess reminders are still reminders.

It's a mockingjay pin. Might be gold, but it's too old and grimy to tell. Could've sold it for scrap metal, but after hearing Gammy's stories, I could never bring myself to melt the damn thing down. And it's not like I could just walk up to the fancy parts of town with a mockingjay pin to sell. The peacekeepers would have cuffed me before I could quote a price. Probably really is bad luck anyway.

Stern Eyes is holding the pin and askin how much. I think of asking for a couple of coins, and then I remember the Reaping. She's probably young enough to have her name in the bowl. More than a couple of times, like every Seam kid. I wonder if it'd bring bad luck to her too. Or maybe it'd bring her good luck. If I'm being honest, I just want the pin gone. Can't keep holding on to a thing like that.

I tell her she can take it. No charge. Can't ask people to pay you for what could be bad luck. Don't know why she picked that one, but I wonder if she knows anything about the last songbird who had it.

I really hope it brings her better luck than Gammy's friend.

Writer's note: I know this isn't accurate to the books where Katniss gets the pin from Madge and the pin isn't really mentioned in TBOSAS. But I remember she gets it in the Hobb in the movie and it does make an appearance in the prequel movie as well. Soooo, that's where this idea came from!

Do you ever think about how poetic the scene of Gojo being sealed in Shibuya is? I'm not just talking in terms of the love of his life being his downfall and the utter tragedy of their story. I'm talking about how poetic it was for Gojo himself, for the "honored one" who was basically considered a mortal god and treated as such, to be defeated in the most human of ways.

Let me explain. Again, this isn't just about the Gojo's love for Geto being his Achilles heel. Something that Jujutsu Kaisen encapsulates time and time again through various characters is the juxtaposition of power in humanity- infinitely capable in some ways and still tragically helpless in others. It's why the idea of "Sorcerers die alone and with many regrets" is such a recurring thing brought. Many of them are considerably powerful and have done almost miraculous things, but in the face of their own death or the loss of their friends or the regrets that pile up in their lives, they are powerless. In a lot of ways, that is what it means to be human, powerful and powerless all at once.

And that is what Gojo demonstrates at Shibuya. He truly proved he was, inarguably, the strongest sorcerer in centuries as he took on three special grade curses and a death painting, fought two of them hand to hand, and killed one of them by crushing it to a wall. He then demonstrated immense control and strategism by holding a domain for 0.2 seconds and then wiping out more than a thousand curses in under five minutes. He single-handedly prevented a complete massacre of humans in the area. It feels like he's proven, shown us, that he is the god everyone thinks of him as.

And then he sees the only man who didn't treat him like a god. The only one who had seen him as human and, in some ways, made him human. The one he thought he'd killed a year ago. He sees him and he freezes. At the site of his greatest demonstration of power, his Achilles heel stands exposed.

And in that minute of shock, guilt, memory, horror, and longing, he falls. So powerful he seemed invincible, yet rendered powerless in that moment. Gojo Satoru, the honored one, the mortal god, the strongest sorcerer, creates the deepest truest representation of humanity in that moment. Not just in our vulnerability to love, but in how we are, within ourselves, both the indestructible and the defeated.

Okay, let's get something straight (or rather, gay). This goes out to all kpop fans.

If I have to see one more comment or tweet talking about how weird/gross it is for fans to discuss an idol's sexuality, or come after other fans for suggesting an idol might be queer, or act all holier-than-thou and talk about how we shouldn't "assume people's sexuality, I am going to fucking scream.

And before you come at me with wild accusations, let me get this out of the way - in no way do I condone the hypersexualization or objectification of idols. Or anyone for that matter. But discussing someone's possible orientation or seeing something that points to queerness isn't inherently sexual or fetishizing and to equate those two things is disgustingly homophobic on levels I cannot even begin to unpack here. Sexualities of all kinds (gay, straight, bi, ace, pan etc) are all celebrations of humanity and while it is up to every individual how public or private they want to be with their identity, it is not wrong to playfully guess or acknowledge signs of queerness (especially when so often there are explicit signs of queercoding!)

I encounter people's internalized homophobia and heteronormativity everyday both online and in person but the level of cognitive dissonance people have about this subject sometimes in the kpop fandoms I'm in is ASTOUNDING. So here I am writing this post to deconstruct some of shit.

First of all, the "oh, we shouldn't assume their sexuality" bullshit. People assume sexuality all the time. Literally, so much of the kpop industry itself is built on performative heterosexuality. We see in this in how commonly idols are asked about their "ideal type" (usually clearly implying the opposite gender). In how the slightest interactions between idols of different genders leads to dating rumors. In how it's assumed, especially for boy groups, that the fandom is mostly women/girls. In how it's normal for fans to pretend they are in a relationship with their bias. Like, be so for fucking real, kpop fan culture is literally where the word DELULU comes from. So it's okay to assume sexuality with all of this, but it's not okay if someone teases or so much as suggests that an idol might not be straight? The only time assuming sexuality is cast as being wrong is when the sexuality in question is anything but heterosexuality. And coming from a queer person, if you have ever said this, disrespectfully, fuck you.

Because in the process of saying shit like that you are essentially insinuating, intentionally or unintentionally, that not being straight is bad or abnormal. Because why else would you treat the suggestion of someone's queerness as an insult? Why would the idea that an idol is not straight be offensive or demeaning?

Even worse, this bullshit, patronizing, hetero-morality complex shuts down any discourse queer kpop fans want to have about queercoding in the industry. And there is a LOT of that. Korea is conservative, coming out isn't the only way to affirm queerness. And not wanting, not being able to be out and proud does not negate someone's possible queerness, idol or not. So queercoding is often an important form of self expression for some idols and to deny that discourse is denying those very idols you claim to be protecting their right to express themselves, their personhood and humanity.

And the cherry on top of the fucking cake is that of all places to do this, KPOP? An entertainment business model that has literally been built on queerbaiting? As much as I enjoy kpop, as a queer fan, this is one of the less than savory aspects of industry I have to be aware of and contend with. And if you find yourself wondering how kpop queerbaits, think about the concept of "fan service" between members of an idol group. Fan service includes all instances of a group encouraged to perform "skinship" or flirt with each other to amuse the fans. Fan service is literally an euphemistic way of referring to queerbaiting and it is unbelievable how people don't even realize it. It's even more frustrating to see some fans having the audacity to brush things off as "fan service" when fans playfully (emphasis on playfully) engage in shipping. They don't even realize how problematic it is that such "fan service" is used for the viewing pleasure of straight fans and baits queer fans but simultaneously denies queer fans their space and voice and shuts down actual queerness in the industry. If you enjoy fan service (and nothing wrong with that by itself), but also demonize shippers or shut down queer fans discussing queercoding, you are part of the problem. Don't come up trying to say you wish the kpop industry would be a little less severe on idols dating or being queer, because you are part of the reason why the industry is the way it is.

To all my fellow queer fans, be absolutely unapologetic for your jokes or memes or ships or thought-provoking discussions on queerness and queercoding. There is no shame in our joy, we are not wrong or twisted for it. Because we know that we would celebrate our idols for who they are or want to be no matter how they choose to express themselves. Do not let people who would twist it into something perverted or bad, as an excuse for their own homophobia, shame you for the innocent joy of celebrating queerness. Do not let yourself be ashamed of it. As long as you are kind and respectful, love what you love and be queer and proud and happy.

Finally, an explanation