The First Real Conversation Katniss Has With Peeta Is When He Tells Her That He Wants To Die As Himself,

Hunger Games fanfic blurb:

I sipped the last of my water, slow as I could, hoping it would tide me awhile through the heat of the Hobb. Business was slow today. Not that we make much on other days, selling trinkets and scraps of metal and cloth in a district where most people could barely buy bread. But we scrape by.

But today, I hadn't a single body come by to look at the wares. Although, I s'pose, when you've got a Reaping tomorrow, you're probably not in a buying sorta mood. Even Greasy Sae is selling her stew for half price today for the youngins that usually come around to her corner.

Speaking of the youngins, one of them walks my way. The one with stern eyes who brings fresh game from the woods. The butcher's wife says she hunts 'em with a bow and her arrows never miss the mark. Must be nice to have a useful trade like that. Sometimes, she trades me berries for balls of yarn. That's probably what she's making her way over for.

Never got her name. I call her "Stern Eyes" and word around the Seam is she sings like a songbird. My Gammy Maude would've liked that. She gives me berries wrapped in cloth, and I give her the yarn. But she doesn't walk away.

She reaches her hand into one of the boxes, the one with old pins for hair and clothes that might've been pretty once but had gotten rusty and dusty since. Then she pulls out that pin. Gammy Maude's pin that used to belong to her friend. The friend with bad luck in love and even worse in life. Some say she ran away, and some say got shot in the woods by her lover. Gammy said her friend used to sing too. Like a songbird.

Gammy never liked that pin much. Said it never brought nothing but bad luck. I think it just reminded her too much of her friend and the lover who might've shot her. But she still kept the pin till she died. Guess reminders are still reminders.

It's a mockingjay pin. Might be gold, but it's too old and grimy to tell. Could've sold it for scrap metal, but after hearing Gammy's stories, I could never bring myself to melt the damn thing down. And it's not like I could just walk up to the fancy parts of town with a mockingjay pin to sell. The peacekeepers would have cuffed me before I could quote a price. Probably really is bad luck anyway.

Stern Eyes is holding the pin and askin how much. I think of asking for a couple of coins, and then I remember the Reaping. She's probably young enough to have her name in the bowl. More than a couple of times, like every Seam kid. I wonder if it'd bring bad luck to her too. Or maybe it'd bring her good luck. If I'm being honest, I just want the pin gone. Can't keep holding on to a thing like that.

I tell her she can take it. No charge. Can't ask people to pay you for what could be bad luck. Don't know why she picked that one, but I wonder if she knows anything about the last songbird who had it.

I really hope it brings her better luck than Gammy's friend.

Writer's note: I know this isn't accurate to the books where Katniss gets the pin from Madge and the pin isn't really mentioned in TBOSAS. But I remember she gets it in the Hobb in the movie and it does make an appearance in the prequel movie as well. Soooo, that's where this idea came from!

Okay, let's get something straight (or rather, gay). This goes out to all kpop fans.

If I have to see one more comment or tweet talking about how weird/gross it is for fans to discuss an idol's sexuality, or come after other fans for suggesting an idol might be queer, or act all holier-than-thou and talk about how we shouldn't "assume people's sexuality, I am going to fucking scream.

And before you come at me with wild accusations, let me get this out of the way - in no way do I condone the hypersexualization or objectification of idols. Or anyone for that matter. But discussing someone's possible orientation or seeing something that points to queerness isn't inherently sexual or fetishizing and to equate those two things is disgustingly homophobic on levels I cannot even begin to unpack here. Sexualities of all kinds (gay, straight, bi, ace, pan etc) are all celebrations of humanity and while it is up to every individual how public or private they want to be with their identity, it is not wrong to playfully guess or acknowledge signs of queerness (especially when so often there are explicit signs of queercoding!)

I encounter people's internalized homophobia and heteronormativity everyday both online and in person but the level of cognitive dissonance people have about this subject sometimes in the kpop fandoms I'm in is ASTOUNDING. So here I am writing this post to deconstruct some of shit.

First of all, the "oh, we shouldn't assume their sexuality" bullshit. People assume sexuality all the time. Literally, so much of the kpop industry itself is built on performative heterosexuality. We see in this in how commonly idols are asked about their "ideal type" (usually clearly implying the opposite gender). In how the slightest interactions between idols of different genders leads to dating rumors. In how it's assumed, especially for boy groups, that the fandom is mostly women/girls. In how it's normal for fans to pretend they are in a relationship with their bias. Like, be so for fucking real, kpop fan culture is literally where the word DELULU comes from. So it's okay to assume sexuality with all of this, but it's not okay if someone teases or so much as suggests that an idol might not be straight? The only time assuming sexuality is cast as being wrong is when the sexuality in question is anything but heterosexuality. And coming from a queer person, if you have ever said this, disrespectfully, fuck you.

Because in the process of saying shit like that you are essentially insinuating, intentionally or unintentionally, that not being straight is bad or abnormal. Because why else would you treat the suggestion of someone's queerness as an insult? Why would the idea that an idol is not straight be offensive or demeaning?

Even worse, this bullshit, patronizing, hetero-morality complex shuts down any discourse queer kpop fans want to have about queercoding in the industry. And there is a LOT of that. Korea is conservative, coming out isn't the only way to affirm queerness. And not wanting, not being able to be out and proud does not negate someone's possible queerness, idol or not. So queercoding is often an important form of self expression for some idols and to deny that discourse is denying those very idols you claim to be protecting their right to express themselves, their personhood and humanity.

And the cherry on top of the fucking cake is that of all places to do this, KPOP? An entertainment business model that has literally been built on queerbaiting? As much as I enjoy kpop, as a queer fan, this is one of the less than savory aspects of industry I have to be aware of and contend with. And if you find yourself wondering how kpop queerbaits, think about the concept of "fan service" between members of an idol group. Fan service includes all instances of a group encouraged to perform "skinship" or flirt with each other to amuse the fans. Fan service is literally an euphemistic way of referring to queerbaiting and it is unbelievable how people don't even realize it. It's even more frustrating to see some fans having the audacity to brush things off as "fan service" when fans playfully (emphasis on playfully) engage in shipping. They don't even realize how problematic it is that such "fan service" is used for the viewing pleasure of straight fans and baits queer fans but simultaneously denies queer fans their space and voice and shuts down actual queerness in the industry. If you enjoy fan service (and nothing wrong with that by itself), but also demonize shippers or shut down queer fans discussing queercoding, you are part of the problem. Don't come up trying to say you wish the kpop industry would be a little less severe on idols dating or being queer, because you are part of the reason why the industry is the way it is.

To all my fellow queer fans, be absolutely unapologetic for your jokes or memes or ships or thought-provoking discussions on queerness and queercoding. There is no shame in our joy, we are not wrong or twisted for it. Because we know that we would celebrate our idols for who they are or want to be no matter how they choose to express themselves. Do not let people who would twist it into something perverted or bad, as an excuse for their own homophobia, shame you for the innocent joy of celebrating queerness. Do not let yourself be ashamed of it. As long as you are kind and respectful, love what you love and be queer and proud and happy.

Am I the only one who just figured out that Disney's Lion King is basically a kiddie version of Shakespeare's Hamlet? How late am I to the party?

Chiron and Mr D: now that you've trained at camp for one (1) week it's time for you to embark on a quest to retrieve Zeus' lightning bolt and stop all out war from breaking out amongst the Gods.

Percy: are you aware that i am twelve years old

Chiron and Mr D: this is your dad's will

Percy: is he aware that i am twelve years old

I know the story of Icarus is supposed to be a cautionary tale about the dangers of getting ahead of yourself...

But has anyone thought about whether Icarus intended to fall? What if when he flew high above, out of the awful labyrinth that had entrapped him and his father all this time, he finally felt free in the endless sky with the ocean under him? What if he looked beyond and saw a city on the horizon and while his father flying beside him shouts that it is safe haven, that they have found a place to land, all Icarus could see was another maze, with its walls and paths and crossroads. Only this one seemed to have more people caught in it. What if he looked at it all and refused to be one of them, refused to live the rest of his life in another labyrinth after just escaping one. What if the sun wasn't his doom but the bright burning possibility of freedom.

You must understand, I'm not saying he definitely wanted to fall. But maybe he never wanted to stop flying. Maybe he never wanted to be parted from the sky and sea. Maybe he just wanted to be free.

people often use snow’s experiences with lucy gray as an explanation for how he engages with katniss, but i think that the true story of his downfall lies not in how lucy gray and katniss are similar, but rather in how they are different.

snow knew that it was never him that made the games what they are. it was lucy gray, with her scrappy, passionate artistry, that put on the show that kept people watching. more importantly, it was lucy gray that put on the show that kept HIM watching. all he ever did was give her the stage.

ergo, snow recognizes that the person with the power to usurp him is his natural counterpart, someone like lucy gray, who possessed both the charisma and humanity that he sorely lacks. however, in his mind, those traits are not real; they’re performed in order to obtain power. how could he know better, when he’s never experienced them himself, and the only person he ever truly believed possessed them betrayed him?

so snow keeps his eye out for performers, people with gravitas who could capture the heart of the nation, and squashes their spark as soon as he can. people like haymitch. people like finnick.

and that’s where snow goes wrong. he doesn’t see katniss’ similarities to lucy gray from the start, because while they both demonstrate astonishing, intriguing bravery at their reapings, their actions and motivations are completely different. lucy gray is motivated to perform by anger for herself, and katniss is motivated to sacrifice herself by fear for her sister.

but then katniss starts to put on a show for the audience, kissing peeta and being willing to die with the berries at the end of the 74th games. snow starts to see an entirely different side of katniss that resembles lucy gray to a concerning degree. he sees how, with peeta at her side, she could beguile the nation the same way lucy gray had. and, even worse, she was using the poor, helpless boy who had the misfortune of falling in love with her to survive. the moment katniss started performing, he finally sees lucy gray within her. but it’s already too late.

by catching fire, katniss is the spark fanning the flames of the resistance, but snow fails to understand why. as far as he’s concerned, katniss’ star power comes from her connection to peeta. he tries to weaponize their “love” for his own gain, but it doesn’t work, not because people don’t believe that she loves peeta, but because, for the first time, a victor offers her winnings to the family of a fallen tribute.

snow is caught in a catch 22 of seneca crane’s making—if he kills katniss, she becomes a martyr. but if he lets her live, she’ll be a revolutionary icon. either way, she’s the spark. so he has no choice but to allow the spark to flicker, just for a little while. enter the 75th games. snow knows he needs katniss to die a tragic death in the games. more specifically, he needs it to be a brutal death at the hands of a tribute, not the gamemakers, because he understands that as long as the districts see the capital as the one who ended the life of katniss everdeen, she’ll still be a martyr.

but snow still doesn’t get it. in the quarter quell, the prey does not become predator. katniss’ allies protect her, ensuring she survives until district 13 rescues her. why would they protect this girl, assuming such a steep personal risk? why would they put everything on the line for a revolution they personally stand to benefit little from? he doesn’t know. but he does know that lucy gray katniss is at the center of it all, so he tries to eliminate what makes her look best: peeta.

and that is snow’s fatal mistake. what he, coin, and everyone but haymitch fail to understand is that it was never peeta that made katniss look good—it was katniss, who befriended and put faith in rue. katniss, who recruited mags, wiress, and beetee as allies. she is the source of revolutionary inspiration. it isn’t her charisma or even her compassion, and it certainly isn’t how well she performed those virtues.

katniss becomes the mockingjay because of her solidarity.

lucy gray was charismatic, like peeta, and compassionate, like both peeta and katniss, but she did not demonstrate solidarity. she was never truly “district” in the way katniss is. she showed kindness to jessup, not because he was from 12, but because he showed kindness to her. lucy gray left behind everything and everyone she loved when she left coriolanus, because she was first and foremost a survivor.

katniss was a survivor her whole life, but she survives exclusively to ensure the people she loves are protected. she always does what she can for people more vulnerable than herself. lucy gray couldn’t have sparked a revolution on her own because she lacked the solidarity that makes a hope for a better future authentic to others. katniss is the human manifestation of solidarity, and to a people divided by a common enemy, that’s the most inspiring thing a person can be.

only in the end, when katniss shoots coin, does snow realize none of it was a performance. choking on the blood of his countless adversaries, snow’s final moments are consumed by what he got wrong. what made lucy gray and katniss different ends his reign, but ironically, the final nail in his coffin is an act that both lucy gray and katniss share in their last moments with snow. they both prove, unequivocally, that he is not the center of their worlds like they are his. lucy gray put her own survival before her love for him, and katniss puts the future of her nation before her hate for him. in the end, he simply doesn’t matter. and that’s greater justice than could have ever been achieved if katniss had fired her arrow into his heart.

the greatest enemy to coriolanus snow could only be the person who reignited the embers of a dying revolutionary fire, who demonstrated to a broken people that while one spark alone might not be enough, thousands of sparks uniting in solidarity is an unbeatable force.

and really, he should have known better. after all, fire melts snow.

You know what's really ironic when it comes to Coriolanus Snow? It's the fact that according to The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, he garners attention and approval and finally mentorship under Dr. Gaul by pushing the idea of balancing humanity and spectacle in the hunger games. Make the tributes human enough to get attention and get people invested in the games. But make them spectacle enough that people don't look deep enough to question the games themselves. Make the competition human enough that people will pick sides and pour money. But make it spectacle enough that they don't protest their side losing.

It's the idea that paves his rise to power. But it's also the same thing that brings about his downfall. The spectacle of the hunger games gave a front and center platform to a naive but defiant girl from District Twelve to become the face of a revolution and the ultimate weapon against him. The measured humanity that he urged into the games got people to trust her word, trust her very image in ways that Snow had never anticipated. The balanced wielding of humanity and spectacle that Lucy Gray used to win her games is what Katniss used to end them, both enabled by Snow.

And here's the final kicker- the reason his brutally brilliant plan failed him in the end was because of the one thing Snow never took seriously enough to consider. The Districts. Snow had keen insight into how the people of the Capitol worked and thought. It allowed him to manipulate many of them. But he dismissed the role of the districts as inconsequential in the larger play of things. As long as they were kept suppressed, it didn't matter. And that's where his oversight cost him. He didn't consider the effects of the same humanity and spectacle when perceived by the districts. He didn't see how he was giving them the spark they were always looking for until the match had already been lit. The girl was already on fire. The Capitol was already burning. The snow was already melting.

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