Imposter Syndrome

"I'm sorry... It doesn't fix this but- I'm sorry..." "Then be better, Thelyss."

not enough people die from complications of the hubris anymore

i hate pokemon

alternatives to "ladies and gentlemen"

cads and wastrels

fellow scoundrels

ladies, gentlemen, and interesting miscellanea

beloved friends & tolerated acquaintances

entities of interest

paying audience members & assorted freeloaders

the fbi's most and least wanted

discerning guests & those of you with fuck all else to do on a tuesday evening

esteemed gutter filth

*slides you this chart*

*you kick me out of the butcher shop*

"tummy enthusiast" and it's the flattest tummy you've ever seen (negative points because no Happy trail)

To all the trans people who see this tonight, no matter what happens, we will survive. Trans people will still be here 4 years from now and 10 years from now and 100 years from now and tomorrow. We have always existed and we always will. The world cannot unlearn about us; we are too public, too loud, too beloved, too present. Ill be here tomorrow. Please stay here with me.

Some things that still really get me about Caleb and Molly--when Mollymauk dies, Caleb expresses that a part of him very much wants to stay. To at least wait a few days, clinging to this desperate hope for a miracle--to fairytales--aching for some way for Molly to still walk away from all this alive.

"The man dug his way out of a grave once, if he is to be believed...He's done it once, maybe he will do it again. Do we stay here, do we try to find...? I don't, I--I have read of miracles..."

He even leaves a letter behind for Molly, asking him to come find them if he wakes--Caleb, who wrote constant letters to his own deceased parents, who kept holding onto them because he told himself this wasn't goodbye, that one day he'd change fate and turn back time. Caleb who refuses to gives up on his loved ones, who only went all that way to Cognouza because he intended to bring Molly back. "Why did we come all this way, if not for this...?"

And in the wrap up, Matt says Lucien's resurrection essentially happened because the Nein just buried Molly and then never went back to check on the body...The way the Tombtakers were handed the perfect opportunity, went so long working towards Cognouza because...everything just fell into place, and it just happened that the Nein never followed up--

Matt: "I wanted Lucien to be this spirit that jumped from person to person, trying to find a way to kill Molly and take the body back...and then Molly died, and I was like, fuck...and it took a long time for you to go back to the body...”

Just. The way Caleb's instincts not to leave Molly behind were so very right. How it could have made all the difference if they stayed close to his body longer--or if they'd gone back to visit him so much sooner. Even if Molly wasn't going to get up and walk away on his own again, like that first time--we do know that at one point, it was possible. And even when Lucien is the one resurrected, we know from his novel that that shard of Molly's soul came back with him. That his "shattered fragment" of a soul still endured.

It's also so important to me that--while Caleb is the one who first tries to tell Gustav about Molly, he also adamantly refuses to say anything to Cree. Caleb thinking about what Mollymauk would have wanted, trying to honor his wishes. He thinks Gustav deserves the truth, because that's what Molly would want. And he doesn't even give Cree the satisfaction of knowing, because he realizes just how much Molly would hate that--

The stark contrast between Caleb trying to find the words, letting himself be more vulnerable for a moment, self-consciously apologizing for not being "good at this." Just. The world of difference between, "It's maybe a little bit for you, but also for--I'm not good at this, does someone want to...We were fond of him, and he was fond of you, so..." and the cold way he tells Cree, "That is correct. He had his own business to attend to. We parted ways...It didn't end well. It seems doubtful, but ja, if we see him again, rest assured..."

It's only afterwards, when Cree corners Fjord for answers, that she finally learns the truth. And I think it says a lot, that Fjord is moved by Cree's feelings, wants to give her some closure. But as much as she cares, as much as she loves Lucien--even still, Caleb doesn't give her anything.

Because whoever she is, whoever Lucien was...Mollymauk makes it clear that this is no friend of his. And it's his feelings only that Caleb is moved by here; he looks at Cree's genuine concern, and still wholly believes that she doesn't deserve to know Molly's fate. That she hasn't earned it the way Gustav and the Nein and everyone Molly would consider family did.

Just...the way Caleb following his instincts and his feelings for Molly could have prevented Lucien's revival. And how much he really did care about Mollymauk--

but... where is the mountain???

Came across this gem on Facebook:

Woops

One of the campaigns I was playing in just recently ended, and only then did I realize my hallf-elf fighter, Marnia, was a massive lesbian. Woops. I mean, the poor woman has been following our drow warlock princess around the whole campaign, protecting her and complimenting her every step of the way. She’d take opportunity attacks against herself just to get to her princess’s side. AND SHE WASN’T EVEN A HIRED GUARD, SHE JUST CHOSE TO DO THAT. I was playing her character thinking “Oh they’re friends and she’s protective! That’s all!” the whole campaign! Then at the end, the princess married our half-orc barbarian and the DM asked how Marnia felt seeing the princess get married, and I was like “she’s happy for h- oh. oh. oh no.” and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Am I stupid? I played it off like the character was as shocked to realize that she wasn’t happy as I was. Be aware of your feelings. Don’t be a useless lesbian like Marnia.