ZOOP

An update to Marnia’s story! The princess has 4 kids, but it’s all good now because Marnia has found love in a bookkeeping Cleric who patches her up after every fight! Find someone who loves you back and completes you!

Woops

One of the campaigns I was playing in just recently ended, and only then did I realize my hallf-elf fighter, Marnia, was a massive lesbian. Woops. I mean, the poor woman has been following our drow warlock princess around the whole campaign, protecting her and complimenting her every step of the way. She’d take opportunity attacks against herself just to get to her princess’s side. AND SHE WASN’T EVEN A HIRED GUARD, SHE JUST CHOSE TO DO THAT. I was playing her character thinking “Oh they’re friends and she’s protective! That’s all!” the whole campaign! Then at the end, the princess married our half-orc barbarian and the DM asked how Marnia felt seeing the princess get married, and I was like “she’s happy for h- oh. oh. oh no.” and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Am I stupid? I played it off like the character was as shocked to realize that she wasn’t happy as I was. Be aware of your feelings. Don’t be a useless lesbian like Marnia.

new tav to add to the family :3

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

bad dreams

im stacking extension cords on each other like theyre tinker toys. constructing a tower of babel in the name of the god of electricity. there'll be at least 100 outlets when ive hooked these boys up nice and good. ill never run out again

hey, don’t cry. one half flour one half yogurt knead into dough and fry for easy flatbread and dip in balsamic vinegar, okay?

(minecraft parody voice) I am mining... There are no chunks of land... You are digging down with me... Hand in uncraftable hand and I hope you mine... I hope we both mine...