You know those posts about one of Bruce’s kids getting kidnapped and him having no idea which kid they have based on the vague descriptions he’s given? Well now I can’t only imagine Bruce getting the dreaded call and immediately pulling out a guess who board filled entirely with his kids. Like
kidnapper: we have one of your children
Bruce: I have so many of those you need to be more specific
kidnapper: the loud and annoying one
Bruce, flipping down Cass and Duke: that does not help as much as you think it does
kidnapper: well he has black hair?
Bruce, flips down Steph: keep going
kidnapper: uhhhh? He’s short?
Bruce, flips down Dick and Jason leaving Tim and Damian: more specific
kidnapper: he’s been condescending and judgmental since we got him
Bruce: yeah they both tend to do that
kidnapper: he keeps throwing around words I don’t understand
Bruce, realizing that Damian and Tim are significantly more similar than he thought: uhh more specific?
kidnapper: more?? look just wore us the mon— WHERE’D HE HIDE A KATANA???
Bruce: ah you have Damian
Wrote this in one sitting lol
You always call Simon by a nickname. Your favorites are "hun", "bubba", and "love". He pretends to be exasperated with you using them, but he doesn't hide the tiny smile that creases his eyes.
"Hi bubba, how was your day at work?"
"Love, can you hand me the garlic powder from the shelf, please?"
"Looking so handsome today, hun."
Simon associates your nicknames with good things and loving emotions. He doesn't remember the last time he heard his name from you outside the bedroom.
"Simon, can you come here please?"
It's as if a cold bucket of ice water is dumped over his spine and he freezes. He's been sitting in his home office filling out reports and filing paperwork while you did your own thing to keep yourself busy. The pen in his hand almost bleeds ink onto the paper before he catches himself and lifts the tip up before shakily setting it down and off to the side. As he pushes himself out of his chair, Simon's brain is working overtime asking himself what he did to upset you. Did he forget an important date? Was he neglecting you and not caring for your needs? Did you just not love him anymore?
That last one carried his feet quicker into the living room where you sat watching TV, your back facing him. As soon as he makes his presence known though, you turn around in your seat and flash him that brilliant and heart-stopping smile of yours, no underlying emotions hidden underneath as far as Simon's aware.
"Come sit, hun! GBBO is showing the episode with Michael Sheen!" You softly pat his usual spot on the sofa right next to you. He searches your face for a beat with furrowed brows, clocking in on your use of a nickname this time. He doesn't make a sound as he practically glides over to plop down next to you, thoughts still swimming and hardly paying any attention to the screen in front of him.
"Si? You okay?" Your voice brings him back and he looks over to your confused face, eyebrows creased in slight worry. He huffs and debates letting it go as you've gone back to using your pet names, but he wants his communicating skills to be better for you, so he sucks in a shaky breath and let's it out in quiet admission.
"Are you upset with me?"
You tilt your head, brows furrowing even deeper as you immediately shake your head. "No? Why would I be, have you done anything that would make me upset?"
Simon in turn also shakes his head. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything, but he can't go back to being quiet now that you know something is up. "I just... You- you used my name when y'called me. Y'never use my name, only those silly nicknames."
Your brows unfurl in understanding and he watches as your lips twitch upward in amusement. "Oh Si, is that what this is about? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you."
You gently take both his trembling hands in yours and squeeze them softly, not looking away as you continue. "I'm not upset with you, bubba. I didn't realize just how much I've been calling you anything other than your name and you got so used to it."
A huge boulder was lifted off his shoulders as he sighed in relief, then huffed in embarrassment. "Guess I overreacted a bit, yeah?"
You smirked, teasing. "A little, but I'm happy you told me. Feels nice to talk about things instead of bottling everything up, right?" You poke at his chest lightly and he chuckles with you, agreeing wholeheartedly.
Bunch of Bug&Boo from twitter
There’s always summer somewhere in the world I guess
simooooon
Clark: "Hey, B, are you okay, you look a little--"
Bruce: "What ever you are about to say, don't say it."
Clark: "Why?"
Bruce, in a whisper: "Because Dick has taken it upon himself to impress me with backflips should I appear upset."
Clark: "And this is a problem because?"
Bruce, still whispering: "Because whilst in all other ways he is a gifted acrobat, every time he does a backflip, without fail, he falls on his face and fighting back the urge to laugh everytime is starting to wear on me."
Clark: "Aww, Bruce. Sounds like he messes up on purpose to try and make you laugh, 'cause I've seen him do backflips lots of times."
Bruce: "Oh..."
---
Bruce, later as he tucks Dick into bed: "If you really want to make me laugh, you should do that thing where you jump onto Clark..."
---
Dick, the next morning leaping from the chandelier: "SKY ATTACK."
Clark, scrambling to catch him: "Jesus, Dick!"
people say the Brucie Wayne persona isn’t believable but if I caught Bruce Wayne drunkenly lying under a desk in an office he shouldn’t have access to with a ream of secure documents and he replied to my “Mr. Wayne?” with “Mr. Wayne was my father—oh god, my father” and then started sobbing, I would 100% back away and leave him alone. like that shit would work on me every time.
not the bad vibes 😓
tim is so done
Perhaps someday, in another life, they'll finally get the ending they deserve.
"You look beautiful today Johnny, as always."
big sister and little brother.