REINVENTING MYSELF-Femininity
Simply put, I don’t like the woman I am now. I am a manifestation of my parents neglect, insecurities rooted in me since a child, along with suppressed and very obvious trauma. I want to see better, I want to do better, I want to attract better.
In preparation for spring (the actual “New Year”) I am currently throwing away EVERYTHING and starting completely fresh. Clothes, wigs, sheets, I even thought about tossing my diploma not a soul asked me for (not even school, everything is electronic).
This is she, me. Anew
Personality
She is mysterious, yet has a welcoming aura about her. You know she’s not the woman to step to unless it’s worth her time, but intimidating isn’t the feeling that comes over the admirer. She’s playful, actively laughing and playing with her dogs. Publicly and privately. A hopeless romantic, though a seductress first. Her love (and lust) is earned. She’s very hard to get.
Hopeless Romantic
Adventurous
Rebellious
Creative
Bookworm
Athletic
Hobbies
She’s always trying something new to see if she finds something she likes. Fear of dislike is never on her mind. As a curious spirit, she not only has hobbies but works to advance and meet those who share the same hobbies as her
Art museums
Theatre
Cooking & making recipe books to pass down
Scrapbooking
Learning about nature (plants, Survival skills, history)
Baking (for anyone)
Chess
White Wine
Astrology
Teapot Collecting
Reading research articles
Boundaries
Again, she’s very hard to get. Hard to impress. Hard to convince. Hard to plead to. As warm as her aura may be, she’s very no nonsense. She is in tune with her inner voice and intuition, who are the first to advise her about whatever you’re telling her.
No sex before substantial financial/personal commitment
Limited debates, always held with class and even tone. Never arguments or fights
Not surrounding self around people who don’t share the same ambition
I come first. My safety, my priorities and myself, period.
No unannounced guests (gift deliveries excluded)
I don’t entertain conversations with men after a certain time
I am selective about what I choose to listen to, so I cut all unproductive/negative conversations very short
Goals
She is an “overachiever”. Whatever that means.
Purchase first property
Travel to 5th country
Obtaining black dermatologist
Selling select art pieces for over ($XX,XXX)
Approved for American Express Platinum Card
Accepted into Ph.D program
Complete first few books/scripts
Learn Spanish and ASL fluently
I went deep into depth privately, and I highly suggest you do the same. Sometimes, it helps to have an organized, detail breakdown of who you are, who you want to become, and most importantly who are you leaving behind.
$TufaniTalks
go cloud-gazing, lay down in the grass on a sunny day, or empty roads on a rainy day, stare up at the sky and let your mind wander.
read a book so complex that you don't understand anything, fill your arms with scrawled definitions.
writing poems and notes of kindness, hiding them for other people to find and pass along!
read passages of love in another language, untranslated and realise that love can surpass even the greatest of barriers.
find your favourite flower! hunt for it, research it, write an essay on why you love it and how much it means to you!
buy another copy of your favourite book, fill the pages with annotations and give it to a second hand shop for somebody else to experience it the way that you do.
fill a journal with moments of your life, even if you don't think they're very interesting.
listen to music whilst looking at the moon and stars, realising how beautiful life is.
visit an art gallery or a museum near you. become familiar with it, visit it until you know it inside out. make it your special place.
learn the little things about people, including yourself. find their favourite colour and why, find their music taste, their taste in books until you know them perfectly.
the small things! taking sips of warm beverages becomes the most comforting thing, closing your eyes for a moment on a bus and focusing on the lull of movement.
bake/cook your favourite treat. experiment and find the way that makes it taste simply ethereal.
‘A Room with a View’ by E. M. Forster (published in 1908)
Susan Sontag - “Death Kit”
morgan harper nichols
“if no art makes you feel anything, make your own art and feel something” is too raw of a line to have come from a jenna marbles video of her painting a rainbow/polka dot seahorse saying “it’s seahorse time” on a denim jacket
hey, take some more video essays. (part one)
how tiktok makes you feel ugly
a relaxing critique of animal crossing new horizons
the 27 club: mental illness and art
talent belongs to the beautiful - how media manipulates your tastes
lindsay lohan: the rise of a starlet ( part one, part two )
the unrealistic beauty standard is deadly
how beauty brands failed women of color
the devil wears prada style analysis
the beauty standard between men and women
what happened to all of the black children sitcoms?
a deep dive into ‘aesthetic’ youtube
dan schneider’s wife aka hungery girl exposed
why black people hate justin timberlake
janet jackson: the underrated legend
erotica: madonna’s career ending album
the cracked reality of the ACE famly
the lovely bones is scarier than we remember
lady gaga is performance art
why rappers are the new rockstars
colorism and violence: what really happened to 3lw
the real ellen - the bitter truth behind the daytime icon
pretty privilege: beauty standards, bimbo effect and free scones
from fame to shame: shane dawson’s story ( tw for racism & pedophilia )
you’re not relatable anymore
the beauty community: racism & toxicity
a goofy movie and the power of nostalgia
music that defined the 2010s
heathers, jawbreaker, & the timelessness of killer cliques
deep cuts: society & queer horror
pinterest aesthetics, fatphobia & whitewashing
tiktok vs black creators: if you hate us just say dat
the “blaccent”; nonblack creators key to fame
ghost singing: who was really singing on michael jackson’s posthumous album
judy garland: the end of the rainbow
marilyn monroe: living blonde
the downfall of the singer cassie
this teen idol manipulated everyone
how frenemies reveals a mental health misconception perpetuated by the internet
legacy, chronical, & every other reimagining of the craft
it’s not a coincidence, it’s colorism
evil queens: a gay look at disney history
the authenticity of lana del rey
Kathleen Glasgow , Girl in Pieces