Susan Sontag - “Death Kit”
Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don't know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn't you. That isn't you at all.
— Leila Sales
Ways to deal with anxiety or panic/anxiety attacks a guide by yours truly, Kleo
Breathing
This may sound weird but proper breathing can be super helpful. Sometimes we aren't breathing the way we are supposed to due to anxiety.
you can focus on whichever gif feels right for you :)
2. The grounding method
This is what usually helps with panic attacks but can also help with anxiety attacks :)
take a deep breath and look around the place you're in.
Then either write,say it aloud or just in your head
5 things you can see
4 things you can feel/touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
It helps distract your brain but if it doesn't work try playing a game or talk with your friends/family
3. Safe place (it would help if you had someone read it to you the 1st time or put it on google translate and it can say it to you)
If you're home lay down on your bed, if you're somewhere else sit comfortably on chair and close your eyes. Imagine you're not here anymore, you're somewhere where you feel safe and secure. What do you see? There are animals around, they love you and they care about you, you mean a lot to them. What kind of animals are around? There is a form of water there. What form is it? You're at peace there, nothing can hurt you. You feel happier. Someone says hello. Who is it? The wind is calming and sweet. Your favourite smell lingers in the air and you know that you will be okay. Stay there as long as you need.
<3
I hope this helps :) drink water and stay safe everyone ily<33
— The Picture Of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde
Mahmoud Darwish, from Unfortunately, It Was Paradise: Selected Poems; “The Hoopoe,”
Funny Face (1957)
the statues of apollo and athena, at the academy athens, in a full moon night.
you know what my perfect gift would be? an annotated copy of your favourite book. i don’t just mean a couple of tabs, i mean annotated. i mean highlighted to the ends of the earth, pages black with scribbled annotations, entire pages underlined and captioned ‘THIS’. i want to see tear stains on the pages, corners bent from when you threw it across the room, spine broken because you were too absorbed in the story to care. i want paragraphs of you yelling at characters, i want your witty remarks and sarcastic comments, i want your little doodles in the margins. because then you’re not just giving me a book. you’re giving me a little piece of yourself, and i think that’s the best gift you could give.
This is a long post. Buckle up.
Recently I've been thinking a lot about how the dark academia aesthetic, whilst rich in aspects such as literature, music, and material beauty, is lacking in things such as activities.
So I've compiled a list of activities that I would personally deem as befitting the dark academia aesthetic (please do add to this list, as it's far from complete).
Sports:
Rowing (it's in literally every dark academic approved movie.)
Fencing
Tennis
Cricket
Croquet
Rugby (contrary to popular belief, women, men, and everyone in between can play this sport. It's not just for the boys.)
Polo
Equestrian sports
+ Figure/ice skating
+ Running (sprinting is handy for catching your lover when they fling themselves from a tower or something, and long distance is great for running alongside carriages that you want to rob.)
+ Boxing
+ Javelin, discus, wrestling covered in oil, think ancient Grecian Olympics.
+ Archery (how could I have forgotten.)
+ Ballet, ballroom dancing, traditional dances
+ Climbing
+ Snooker/Pool (either professionally or just for fun.)
Or, if you prefer the Oscar Wilde approach, no sports at all. That's cool too.
Games:
Chess (of course)
Backgammon
Cards (rummy, poker, blackjack, speed, whist, any game really, maybe with the exception of snap.)
Cluedo (I think it's 'Clue' in America. Don't argue with me, it counts as dark academia. It's got murder in it.)
+ Scrabble
Crafts:
Knitting (I knit socks, scarves, and am attempting a jumper. I find that it's far easier to knit your own jumper, scarf, socks, or whatever than hunting for one suitably 'aesthetically pleasing'.)
Embroidery (monogrammed handkerchiefs and shirts are so in.)
Weaving (sweet mother, I cannot-)
Making lace
Gardening
Cooking (not sure if this counts as a craft, but I'll throw it in just in case.)
Sewing (making clothes for yourself through sewing is a great way to make sure that your clothes fit perfectly, and are styled the way you want them to be. With practise, it becomes easier, and is definitely a useful skill to have.)
+ Calligraphy
+ Painting, of course. (release your inner Basil.
Outings:
Museums
Art galleries
Places of historical interests (in the UK, this might be more easily accessible with things like the National Trust. If you visit often, it might be useful to invest in a membership card with English Heritage (England), Cadw (Wales), or a National Trust card. I have a Cadw card, and I've found that it's accepted all over the UK, in the same way an entrance card specific to whichever country you're in would be too. I hope that makes sense.)
Public executions
Pubs
+ Go to a Café and sketch the people around you (I hear that charcoal or graphite is preferable here.)
Parks
Gardens
Churches, quaker meeting houses, graveyards, synagogues (sometimes the only places that are quiet are places of worship, and a lot of the time, they will be very welcoming in letting people in just to sit and think. Just remember to be respectful: don't insult people for their faith; don't scorn the place of worship; respect people buried in graveyards; don't take pictures, tempting as it may be, just to be on the safe side.)
The theatre
The opera
Concerts (classical music or otherwise)
Social events (memorial services, tours of your local university, open days, anything. It's an opportunity to learn, and spark intrigue because of your darkly mysterious and alluring demeanour.)
Things to do when you're bored.
Writing essays (it's really nerdy, but I find writing essays really interesting if they're on a topic I'm passionate about. It doesn't have to be an intellectual masterpiece, it could be 'The Top Ten Sexiest Classical Writers' for all I care. Just make it fun. Plus it's always an added bonus to that pile of messy papers that aesthetify your desk.)
Research (as above.)
Daydream about how you could have prevented the burning of the Library of Alexandria
Plan a murder / heist. Thoroughly.
Read something light (Agatha Christie, Sherlock Holmes, Wilkie Collins or Colin Dexter novels are really good for relaxing. Murder mysteries are always good for winding down a little, whilst still keeping an active mind, so I would recommend those, but really, read whatever you want.)
Dress up
Read aloud
Perform a play alone (or to a pet, if you have one)
If you play an instrument, play through all of the pieces in your repertoire
More daydreaming
Take baths
Fake your death (by murder, of course)
Draw or paint something (no, it doesn't have to be good. Just do it to relax. See what kind of things you can create, like designing Frankenstein's monster)
Write a narrative piece
Watch a movie. A whole movie. Just sit down and watch a movie, no getting up and walking around, no flicking back and forth, no checking your phone. Just enjoy a movie without distractions.
Watch every single 'Greek Gods as vines' video on YouTube and count it as studying.
+ Listen to some classical music! I have a post on getting into classicl here:
Congratulations! You made it through!
Please, add to this list. I really want this to be expanded on, as I'm interested to see whether or not I've missed things, and if people agree.
Hi loves its your girl Chichi! You ladies really showed a lot of love on my pevious post on “High value woman mentality” I thought it would be best to make a part 2. Consider this post to be a second addition out of a 5-part series. If you haven’t read part 1 yet. I'd follow the link here to view it! CLICK HERE!
Try to refrain from telling them too much about yourself. By doing this, you will intrigue (him/her) and keep them interested. They will be excited at the thought of meeting you, and will always look forward to seeing you again. Which is what we want to build up a strong attraction for.
** However….this does NOT mean you should be playing mind games! That will get you no where. You should simply release information about yourself gradually during the dating process, so that you do not become boring and too predictable.**
A high value woman DOES NOT chase after anyone! A High value women believes it’s not worth chasing or pursuing after anyone who is not taking the time to invest & make an effort to see her. **This rule can be Implemented in all parts of your life.**
If they goes as far as walking away, ghosting, and/or send mixed signals, they are definitely not worth pursuing in the first place. He has made up his mind about you. There is no point in trying to talk it through, in hopes of changing his mind. Move onto the next !
In dating.. most men are not complicated. If he wanted to be with you, your heart will tell you & his actions will prove it. God/The Universe didn’t blessed us women with intuition for no reason! If you’re currently questioning yourself right now: “Why is that guy is emotionally unavailable.” “Why he doesn’t talk to me…” Darling , you already know the answer… Your EGO just doesn’t want to accept it. He’s just not that into you!!
It took me a 2 years to understand this… which s why I’m sharing this knowledge with you today.
When you wait for the guy you like, to eventually like you back. You close many doors on good men who really do like you, and have the potential to make you happy. I’ve seen this scenario play out so many times! A Women will reject/ friend zone a good man, for the typical ‘bad boy’. Then sit on social media & complain about why all men are F-boys and toxic, when things don’t work out.
There are many good men out there! You just pick & vet the wrong ones! Maybe he’s shorter than you imagined. Or he’s not that physically attractive. I’m not saying you should lower your standards by any means. You should vet men by how much they invest in you. (ex: their actions & consistency) Not just by their appearance alone. Remember you are the prize!!
In Gentleman Prefer Blondes it was clear Gus Eisman obviously loved Loreli Lee WAYY more than she liked him, II obvious from the beginning. Lorieli was clearly with him for Gus’s assets 💸 However, in the film Gus treated Loreli like the desired prize she was, until the end of the film! When a man is truly in love with you he’ll do almost anything too make you happy.
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source @miss-femme-fatale
Chichi xo.