the statues of apollo and athena, at the academy athens, in a full moon night.
Do not entertain a man just because you are bored. Do not entertain a man just because you crave validation. Do not entertain a man just because you are lonely. Do not entertain a man just because you don't see better options at the time.
Only entertain men that you intentionally and mindfully want to know better, to spend time with, to allow space for in your life. Your energy is so incredibly precious, ladies. So powerful and potent, capable of creating anything. Don't throw it left and right because you're afraid of confronting your emptiness.
The Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1944–1947
it's so easy to deny yourself basic things, like food and sleep, in order to punish yourself. but you deserve better. you deserve tasty foods that make you smile, to sleep in and go to bed early, to be warm and cozy. you never have to "earn" that. you deserve all of that and more just by existing. you're allowed to be kind to yourself. kindness is brave.
RIP to the opportunities we missed because of shyness and low self esteem.
“One day it just clicks… You realise what is important and what isn’t, you learn to care less about what other people think of you and care more about what you think of yourself. You realise how far you have come and you remember thinking that things were such a mess they’d never recover and then you smile. You smile because you’re truly proud of the person you have fought to become.”
— Unknown
This is a long post. Buckle up.
Recently I've been thinking a lot about how the dark academia aesthetic, whilst rich in aspects such as literature, music, and material beauty, is lacking in things such as activities.
So I've compiled a list of activities that I would personally deem as befitting the dark academia aesthetic (please do add to this list, as it's far from complete).
Sports:
Rowing (it's in literally every dark academic approved movie.)
Fencing
Tennis
Cricket
Croquet
Rugby (contrary to popular belief, women, men, and everyone in between can play this sport. It's not just for the boys.)
Polo
Equestrian sports
+ Figure/ice skating
+ Running (sprinting is handy for catching your lover when they fling themselves from a tower or something, and long distance is great for running alongside carriages that you want to rob.)
+ Boxing
+ Javelin, discus, wrestling covered in oil, think ancient Grecian Olympics.
+ Archery (how could I have forgotten.)
+ Ballet, ballroom dancing, traditional dances
+ Climbing
+ Snooker/Pool (either professionally or just for fun.)
Or, if you prefer the Oscar Wilde approach, no sports at all. That's cool too.
Games:
Chess (of course)
Backgammon
Cards (rummy, poker, blackjack, speed, whist, any game really, maybe with the exception of snap.)
Cluedo (I think it's 'Clue' in America. Don't argue with me, it counts as dark academia. It's got murder in it.)
+ Scrabble
Crafts:
Knitting (I knit socks, scarves, and am attempting a jumper. I find that it's far easier to knit your own jumper, scarf, socks, or whatever than hunting for one suitably 'aesthetically pleasing'.)
Embroidery (monogrammed handkerchiefs and shirts are so in.)
Weaving (sweet mother, I cannot-)
Making lace
Gardening
Cooking (not sure if this counts as a craft, but I'll throw it in just in case.)
Sewing (making clothes for yourself through sewing is a great way to make sure that your clothes fit perfectly, and are styled the way you want them to be. With practise, it becomes easier, and is definitely a useful skill to have.)
+ Calligraphy
+ Painting, of course. (release your inner Basil.
Outings:
Museums
Art galleries
Places of historical interests (in the UK, this might be more easily accessible with things like the National Trust. If you visit often, it might be useful to invest in a membership card with English Heritage (England), Cadw (Wales), or a National Trust card. I have a Cadw card, and I've found that it's accepted all over the UK, in the same way an entrance card specific to whichever country you're in would be too. I hope that makes sense.)
Public executions
Pubs
+ Go to a Café and sketch the people around you (I hear that charcoal or graphite is preferable here.)
Parks
Gardens
Churches, quaker meeting houses, graveyards, synagogues (sometimes the only places that are quiet are places of worship, and a lot of the time, they will be very welcoming in letting people in just to sit and think. Just remember to be respectful: don't insult people for their faith; don't scorn the place of worship; respect people buried in graveyards; don't take pictures, tempting as it may be, just to be on the safe side.)
The theatre
The opera
Concerts (classical music or otherwise)
Social events (memorial services, tours of your local university, open days, anything. It's an opportunity to learn, and spark intrigue because of your darkly mysterious and alluring demeanour.)
Things to do when you're bored.
Writing essays (it's really nerdy, but I find writing essays really interesting if they're on a topic I'm passionate about. It doesn't have to be an intellectual masterpiece, it could be 'The Top Ten Sexiest Classical Writers' for all I care. Just make it fun. Plus it's always an added bonus to that pile of messy papers that aesthetify your desk.)
Research (as above.)
Daydream about how you could have prevented the burning of the Library of Alexandria
Plan a murder / heist. Thoroughly.
Read something light (Agatha Christie, Sherlock Holmes, Wilkie Collins or Colin Dexter novels are really good for relaxing. Murder mysteries are always good for winding down a little, whilst still keeping an active mind, so I would recommend those, but really, read whatever you want.)
Dress up
Read aloud
Perform a play alone (or to a pet, if you have one)
If you play an instrument, play through all of the pieces in your repertoire
More daydreaming
Take baths
Fake your death (by murder, of course)
Draw or paint something (no, it doesn't have to be good. Just do it to relax. See what kind of things you can create, like designing Frankenstein's monster)
Write a narrative piece
Watch a movie. A whole movie. Just sit down and watch a movie, no getting up and walking around, no flicking back and forth, no checking your phone. Just enjoy a movie without distractions.
Watch every single 'Greek Gods as vines' video on YouTube and count it as studying.
+ Listen to some classical music! I have a post on getting into classicl here:
Congratulations! You made it through!
Please, add to this list. I really want this to be expanded on, as I'm interested to see whether or not I've missed things, and if people agree.
i wish i had a window seat with lots of pillows that i could sit in and drink tea and read books in and watch the rain in
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“If you’re reading this, if there’s air in your lungs on this November day, then there is still hope for you. Your story is still going. And maybe some things are true for all of us. Perhaps we all relate to pain. Perhaps we all relate to fear and loss and questions. And perhaps we all deserve to be honest, all deserve whatever help we need. Our stories are all so many things: Heavy and light. Beautiful and difficult. Hopeful and uncertain. But our stories aren’t finished yet. There is still time, for things to heal and change and grow. There is still time to be surprised. We are still going, you and I. We are stories still going.”
— Jamie Tworkowski