What Do The Members Of The Batfamily Want For Christmas? No One Asked But I Headcannoned It Either Way:

What do the members of the Batfamily want for Christmas? No one asked but I headcannoned it either way:

Bruce: Nothing. At least, that’s what he says. But it’s a boldfaced lie. What Bruce actually wants for Christmas? One of those cheap ass plastic drones you can buy at Best Buy or Walmart. He’s saw them on a commercial once and back in ‘08 and has wanted one ever since. Dick is the only one privy to this information, and as such makes it a point to get one for Bruce each year. (They have a tradition on New Years to fly it around the Batcave until it inevitably breaks and cackle wildly at how stupid it looks.)

Dick: Olaplex and a 401k. However, when Christmas Day comes around, he gladly accepts the bougie shampoo/conditioner but refuses to accept the half-mil check Bruce left in his stocking. (He doesn’t need daddy’s money, Bruce, seriously lay off—)

Jason: a crowbar. He asks for this as a joke and gets pissed when Dick actually gets him one. He spends half an hour chasing Dick though the Manor, cursing him out and threatening to beat him up with the menorah. They almost set the Christmas tree on fire. When they’re done Bruce awkwardly gifts Jason a signed, collector’s copy of the Hunger Games trilogy. (He’s wanted it since he was twelve.)

Cass: she’s more of an experiment type of person, and asks to go see a new ballet that’s premiering in downtown. Bruce gives her a cute card with a promise to take her out on a daddy-daughter date to the Gotham Theater. (He rented out the whole place—they’re getting a private showing.)

Tim: Starbucks. Like, the company. Says it’s because he wants to start a monopoly on coffee to insure that his supply won’t be cut off, and price cap the Carmel macchiatos at $3. Bruce gets him a gift card instead.

Steph: Ugg Slippers. Remember that infamous video of that teenage girl getting Ugg slippers and being so so excited and running around the house screaming while her dad was confused and saying, “they’re just slippers…?” Yes. Yes this is Steph and Bruce.

Duke: for a heating system to be installed in his armor. Jesus Christ, it gets cold in Gotham in February, and the insulation is good but Duke’s the type of person who always had cold hands and feet, so he really fucking needs that armor update. (Bruce actually fixes this before Christmas and gets Duke a subscription for Planet Fitness because he saw a commercial for it at work. Duke is confused. Bruce is trying.)

Damian: an Alpaca. Surprisingly, he actually gets this. Bruce legit imports an alpaca from, like, whenever the heck those things come from and gifts it to Damian on Christmas with a bright red bow. (When Dick asks why he never got a hamster all those years ago when he asked, Bruce says it’s because Damian will actually keep the Alpaca alive. Dick has no further argument.)

(Bonus +!) Alfred: a Keurig. He asks for this every year. At this point he has a stockpile of Keurigs and truly, truly does not need an another one, but it’s all that he asks for so that’s what he’s getting. (The kids all write heartfelt letters though to put in his stocking, which is what Alfred actually wants for Christmas.)

More Posts from Aspen-in-the-forest and Others

4 years ago

Things about the MCU I just really love:

Tony naming all of his robots and talking to them like they’re humans.

Peter’s electron pun shirt.

“Punk.” “Jerk.”

The really close up selfies Ned and Peter have as each other’s profile pictures.

The in-universe accepted theory that Steve is on the moon.

Waiting in a dark theater for minutes only to be greeted with, “Hi, I’m Captain America. Here to talk to you about one of the most valuable traits a soldier or student can have. Patience.”

Tony calling Morgan “Morguna”

Clint giving his son the middle name Pietro.

The Stan Lee tribute opening.

The baby monitor protocol.

The boy in tfa that got knocked into the water and said “Go get him! I can swim!”

Korg.

The build up of the shared genius of Dr. Banner and Tony Stark ™ only for Shuri to casually show them up within five minutes of them being in her lab.

Tony getting a cheeseburger as soon as he got away from his kidnappers and Morgan asking for a cheeseburger after his funeral.

The Dora Milaje!!!!!

The giant Thomas the Train toy crashing through the side of the house.


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5 years ago

Merry Christmas, Finland!

Merry Christmas, Finland!

Merry Christmas, Finland!

9 months ago
aspen-in-the-forest

aspen-in-the-forest

aspen-in-the-forest

aspen-in-the-forest

aspen-in-the-forest

aspen-in-the-forest

aspen-in-the-forest

aspen-in-the-forest

aspen-in-the-forest

aspen-in-the-forest

in another universe


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5 years ago

i just finished reading a very angsty dennor fic and can’t stop feeling weird.... any good dennor fuc recomandations that at least end with a happy ending? i’m up to anything as long as it’s happy ending

1 month ago
005 , SPLASH OF RED
005 , SPLASH OF RED
005 , SPLASH OF RED
005 , SPLASH OF RED
005 , SPLASH OF RED
005 , SPLASH OF RED
005 , SPLASH OF RED
005 , SPLASH OF RED

005 , SPLASH OF RED

. . . dark, single muse template: 8 pages, includes magic ability info. has a title page, character basics and personality description on the second page, appearance description and personality notes on the third, appearance and magic notes on the fourth, a connections page to showcase characters they know, 2 pages for backstory and an extras page where you can pretty much put anything you want, so long as you keep the credit. this document is mobile friendly! the line colours are default ones. if you're using, please keep the credit and consider a like and reblog. goes a long way to help creators out! HOW TO USE this doc uses a few tables so i suggest having some knowledge on how they work if you plan on editing anything about the appearance of them. i also recommend keeping your text around the same number of lines as shown in the template. it prevents the doc from going all wonky! to edit the images, click the original image and select the "replace image" button. i suggest making sure the images you want to add are a similar style to the original - similar size or shape. the red star symbols/emojis are for inserting links. copy your link, highlight the star, click the little 'insert link' button, and insert your link - I like to change the colour of my stars once the link is filled in, but you don't have to. PC Once you have the document open, go to the top bar and click "file". There will be a "make a copy button" that appears third down from the list. Then you can name your version of the document and go from there! MOBILE Open the document in your standard browser and click the 'open in app' button. From there, click the "..." button at the top right corner and select "share & export" button. Then you can select "make a copy" at the bottom of the list and you can go from there! after that you should be good to go! if you have any questions or issues that arise, please let me know. keep in mind I'm not too active on this site, so if i haven't noticed your question, i'm not ignoring you! just haven't seen it. have fun!

9 months ago
Panel 1: two sets of legs walking. Panel 2: The legs on the left come to a stop as the legs on the right keep walking. Panel 3: The legs on the left stand still. The legs on the right start to disappear off panel as they keep walking. Panel 4: The legs on the left stand alone.
Panel 1: kid on the right wearing a backpack walking. Panel 2: Kid on the right turns, noticing their friend is gone, and stops walking. Panel 3: kid on the right is standing a couple paces behind, looking down at the ground with their hands gripping the straps of their backpack. Kid on the right has stopped and turned around. They say, "what's wrong?"
Panel 1: kid on the left looks downcast and says, "I don't wanna go to school. It's scary." Panel 2: kid on the right walks up beside kid on the left. Panel 3: Kid on the right says, "yeah, it is." Panel 4: kid on the left says, "But we have to go."
Panel 1: kid on the right stares. Panel 2: kid on the right starts to take off their backpack. Panel 3: Kid on the left is staring down at nothing. Panel 4: something catches their attention and the kid on the left looks up towards their friend. Panel 5: The kid on the right says, "here, give me your hand." They hold out their hand towards the kid on the left and holds an uncapped permanent marker in their other hand.
Panel 1: Kid on the right holds the kid on the left's hand as they writes in it. Their backpack leans up against their leg as it rests against the ground. They say, "I'm gonna write the biggest, strongest thing I know on your hand so you can take it to class. Panel 2: kid on the left asks, "What is it? A cassowary?" Panel 3: Kid on the right says from off-page as the kid on the left covers their face and turns away, "Stronger than that. But you can't peek right now. You can only look when you get reeeeeally scared." Kid on the left says, "why?"
kid on the right says from off-page, "The trick is that when you know what it is it'll be so big and so strong, you won't be able to be as scared anymore." Panel 1: kid on the left's hand being held by the kid on the right as they continue writing on it with a permanent marker. Panel 2: kid on the right closing the kid on the left's hand for them. Kid on the right says, "So you gotta save it." Bottom of the page is black gradient.
Dark hallway with a large billboard on the wall that has pages stapled to it extending off the page. Single looming door about four times the height of the kid on the left who is standing looking at it with their backpack on. The single long rectangular window above the door's handle casts a shadow over the kid. Panel 1: close-up on the kid on the left as they look up nervously at the door. They're holding the straps of their backpack. Panel 2: The kid on the left fiddling with their hands, their right hand in a fist where something had been written.
Panel 1: kid on the left stretches to reach for the door handle overhead. The door is very oversized. Panel 2: Kid on the left's small hand gripping the giant door handle. Panel 3: Kid on the left says, "A hippo..." as they pull the door handle down to open it. Panel 4: Kid on the left says, "a hippo with lasers..." as they begin to step through the open door. Only their feet and the bottom of their backpack can be seen. Panel 5: The gap through the open door shows a harsh light compared to the dark hallway where the door and it's handle is still in shadow. Panel 6: From the outside the door closes with a "click."
Full page art of a giant featureless teacher at the front of the classroom writing on a blackboard with a piece of chalk. Comparatively tiny students who are also featureless face the front while sat at their desks. Only the backs of their heads and shoulders can be seen. The kid on the left is sitting down in their midst, their backpack slung on the back of their chair. There are some stairs that go up to the too-high black board at the front of the room. There are two pieces of chalk and a black board eraser resting at the bottom of the black board. The teacher has written, "mushroom + mushroom = mushroom" "disease - disease = disease" "giraffe × gi"
Panel 1: the kid on the left looking forwards with their hands folded in front of them on their desk. They look apprehensive and they're surrounded by the other students at their desks. The other students all have sticky notes on their faces with an emotionless simple expression drawn on. Everyone faces forward.
Panel 2: the kid on the left looks at their hands as they fiddle with them, still clasped together.
Panel 3: the kid on the left continues fiddling with their hands without parting them, leaning further down.
Panel 4: the kid on the left has their face right up to their hands, still fiddling and now with greater concentration.
Panel 5: the kid on the left jerks to look up in shock as the teacher says, "YOU."
Panel 6: the silhouette of the kid on the left sits alone at their desk, tiny compared to the teacher's hand pointing directly at them.
Panel 1: the teacher's hand is giant in the frame as it points and says, "WHAT IS GIRAFFE." Behind them is the chalkboard that reads, "mushroom + mushroom = mushroom" "disease - disease = disease" "giraffe × giraffe = giraffe"
Panel 2: the kid on the left reels back with a scared expression, their hands clenching on their desk.
Panel 3: Close-up on the kid on the left as they hunch in on themselves and say quietly, "um."
Panel 4: The kid on the left's hands shake as they clasp together and they say quietly, "uh."
They continue, "a giraffe...?"
Panel 1: the teacher says, "WRONG." The kid on the left looks small hunched in on themselves at their desk with every other student at their desks turned towards them.
Panel 2: The kid on the left sits frozen at their desk with their hands closed together over their desk, frozen.
Panel 3: The kid on the left remains frozen, receding into the void with all the other students missing.
The kid on the left floats in the void, sitting at their desk with their hands folded and looking down. They get smaller as they begin to hunch down and rotate in further iterations of themselves down the page until they have their face in their arms. It looks like they're floating off.
Panel 1: the kid on the left has their face buried in their arms against their desk.
Panel 2: The kid on the left's eyes have tears dripping from them as they peek up from behind their hands.
Panel 3: The kid on the left rubs at the tears with one hand as their downturned mouth can be seen from behind their right hand.
Panel 4: The attention of the kid on the left is caught by something on their right hand.
Panel 5: A close-up of their right hand reveals "I love you" written on the palm.
Panel 1: The kid on the left sits up slightly, looking at their hand with a surprised expression and says, "oh." Panel 2: The kid on the left floats alone in the void without their desk or anyone around them, holding their right hand with their left and looking down with a slight smile. They say, "that's stronger than a kajillion hippos with lasers."
we go together
we go together Is a surreal slice-of-life webcomic by Pim updated three times a week

Edit: school pt 2

5 years ago

Thank you for tagging me!!

Top 3 ships: for Hetalia, probably GerIta DenNor and SuFin. In general, Millie and Christopher from the Chrestomanci series, Sophie and Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle, and Yuuri and Viktor from Yuri on Ice

Lipstick or chapstick: neither, really. I hate the feeling of both but I’d have to say lipstick because I really don’t care about how chapped my lips are

Last movie: we watched the Lion King in orchestra today and I sobbed for at least twenty minutes

Last song: The Lion King soundtrack during the next period

Last book: I’m currently reading Chains by Laurie Halse

Most of these blogs probably won’t see this but it would be cool if you continued the chain. I look up to you guys a lot!

@ask-miracutalia-iceland @ask-the-german-commander @kirschetalia @meditviking @astereacosplay @pumkinet @drowning-in-dennor @coffeebutterstyle

Tag Game!!

I was tagged by @shakespeareanqueer !!

Rule: Tag 9 people you wanna know better!

Top 3 ships - I dont do ships, they disappoint me. *jumps into a pose*

Lipstick or Chapstick -

c h a p s t i c k

Last Song - Billie Jean by Michael Jackson!!

Last Movie - 1917, made me cry. I am very picky about movies too so please go watch this movie!!

Reading -

Novel : 'A Game of Thrones' by George RR Martin

Manga : 'Kimetsu No Yaiba'

***

@champangebucky @lmaoitscheese @jtargaryen18 @tecochet @animexreaders @ben-solo @nitroglycerinimagines @aizawamirite @h2bakugou

I am sorry if you didn't want to get tagged! I needed to pick 9 people.

1 year ago

the day that the lotus hotel episode of the percy jackson series airs gay people online will become more annoying than ever before. people zooming in on grainy images of extras. people screaming when they see someone with dark hair. the specter of nico di angelo shall be upon us


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