i’m so sick of sadness.
she looks like me, talks like me, acts like me. and i know you can’t stand that she’s still not quite me.
we were so close yet so so far. like december and january are.
”how did you fall in love with him?”
“a hundred days of longing.”
i love you calmly, peacefully, and fully.
i can’t shake this feeling that i will walk by the love of my life oblivious. that i will never be able to know him.
this summer’s haze feels like lifetimes ago. i was happy and tanned, eating raspberries by the river with my friends. i want her back.
i do believe it would have been easier to have you ripped from me. because you’re still here, but i’m watching you undo the threads at a snails pace.
for once, my mind is quiet.
i came home with blood on my hands and you were terrified of what i’d done to someone. it never occurred to you that the blood on my hands was my own.
why am i judged for wanting a husband? i don’t want to settle and have ten children, i just want someone who loves every bump, curve, and blemish of me.