i am a skeleton walking, for you have stolen my heart.
sorrow is on my tongue. i wonder if you can taste it.
-my best friend is copying my life but better
i think i hate hospitals, and the stinky hand soap, and a nurse’s fake smile, and the overhead lighting, and the quiet doctors, and the cold tile floors, and the cheap tissues, and the bland food, and the way you’ll never be the same.
i do wish i could find even a small flicker of the blazing fire that was once in me, but it has been doused in water repeatedly.
i will be screaming until i can no longer make sound.
they can keep their guys, because him. he’s mine.
one day i will have flowers waiting for me when i get home, and glances at dinner with his family, and good sex, and actually laugh at what he says, and i will trust him completely, and i will truly love him.
i will mourn this november for the rest of my life. this november i fell out of love.
my brothers are not my blood, but they are mine. we have been through tragedy and triumph together. they have been my shoulder to cry on, and i have wiped away many of their tears myself. my soul will always be tied with theirs.
you watch as the tall, mighty flame that i once was drowns in your cruel, unforgiving flood. and you enjoy watching all my glory turn to nothing but blackened scars.