my brothers are the only people on the planet i would dare to call mine.
you see me and i can see the biggest smile plastered on your face just from my presence.
it feels like i’ve lived three and a half lives since yesterday.
may is here and i swear yesterday was only january 7th.
i feel this bone aching sadness. it lingers in my muscles and flows through my blood. if i knew bleeding would stop it, i would volunteer to bleed out.
you told me i was cruel. all i said was that you were the loss of my life. why would i lie to you? i don’t think i am capable of it.
i do wish i could find even a small flicker of the blazing fire that was once in me, but it has been doused in water repeatedly.
peace is white like my dress. i just wish my dress didn’t have those horrific blood stains.
death’s hand fits so perfectly in my palm. no wonder my mind is attacking me.
i only write to distract my self from my own self-destructive behavior.
i’ll pray to little orange bottles or stuffy waiting rooms if it meant you would just get better.