i read somewhere, that there is a day in the year that is always a catalyst. a day where you hit rock bottom for years on end. mine is november 9th.
i stopped pretending you were mine today. or that you ever were.
am i giving my life away to a dream that may never happen?
someone asked me today if i had ever been in love. i shook my head no because what we had can’t fit under one four letter word.
i can tell he’s mine because he whispers my name every night just before he falls asleep.
all that changed this year was my temper. i am now always terribly angry.
i am here. just that. that all i am now.
two years ago i worshipped the man i thought you were. thank god i am off my knees now.
if i watch you build a life with another woman, i will blind myself.
though i am surrounded by hundreds of people each day, i feel so completely isolated from the outside world. someone bigger must’ve put me in a jar in failing effort to save me.