you’re a melody
that is ingrained in
my head
but i cant quite remember
how the last part goes
march’s last day feels far too unsettling. like the end of an era. the end of you.
we were so close yet so so far. like december and january are.
i didn’t think the depth of my pain was visible from the outside until my mother told me she hated my sad eyes. that my eyes were always so joyful and now they appear as small voids to something darker.
i pine from a distance for once.
my brothers are the only people on the planet i would dare to call mine.
we were everything. everything.
our eyes lock, and your breath hitches, and my mouth is a magnet pulling pulling pulling me to you.
despite how hard i’ve wished and prayed you weren’t the one. you are. and i know i can never love you how you want me to.
as the dust settles, all i see is a mutilated version of who i used to be.
just because you are not mine, doesn’t mean i can’t wish you were.