Sighing And Putting My Head In My Hands And Crying And Throwing Up As I Think About Stanley Uris And

Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, 1901, Arkhip Kuindzhi

2021, Anirudh Acharya 

Apparition at a Grave, 1916, Josef Mandl

Moonlit Landscape, 1890, Jean Delville

Flattery works with me.

Please, start sooner 🙏 I miss my boy Matt

#charlie speaking for all of us

Every other Friday, Joyce brings home a roll of film from Melvald’s.

She’s done it since Jonathan was eight. Fridays are her payday, and, before Lonny can spend away all their money on whatever he’s trying to drown himself in that week, Joyce buys groceries, a pack of cigarettes for herself, and a roll of film for Jonathan.

He goes through the stuff like fire in a forest, and even though it’s expensive, she never complains about the cost. He’s quiet, her firstborn, quiet in a way that isn’t quite natural for boys his age. He’s quiet, and he looks at the world with suspicion and fear. He’s already learned to be wary, to have caution at any kindness, and if Joyce lets herself think about it too much, she ends up crying. 

So she doesn’t think about it. She doesn’t think about how she should shove Lonny out the door. She doesn’t think about how much better it would be for her children if their father was gone, even if it would be scarier for her. Joyce just buys more film, because the only time Jonathan isn’t on guard is when he’s behind a camera, and he deserves a few moments of peace in the week. 

It’s the least she can do for continuing to trap them in a terrible situation. 

But Joyce stopped giving him film when they came to California. She stopped because Jonathan doesn’t carry his camera anymore. She isn’t even sure he unpacked it. His fingers still move like he’s looking for it, and she can see him lining up shots in his head. But no camera ever emerges, and Jonathan stops having moments where he’s relaxed. 

Joyce doesn’t want to worry, because Jonathan seems to be relaxed all the time. He’s always walking around with an easy sway to his shoulders, and a funny, but sweet, best friend at his side. That’s good, isn't it? Isn’t this why she moved them away? 

But something about it feels wrong. Something feels like he’s still hiding, but in a new way. She wants to ask why. Why is he acting so strangely? Why would he stop? Why doesn’t he want to go to NYU anymore? 

Why is Jonathan giving up on his dreams?

But Joyce can’t find the words, so she doesn’t ask. It’s already so hard, and if he’s okay, then it’s okay. Even if something inside tells her it really really isn't. 

But she continues to buy a new roll every other Friday, carefully stacking them on the shelf in her closet for when her son finds himself again. 

Kiki’s Delivery Service + Jiji

DAREDEVIL/MATT MURDOCK in She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)

“I think you’re in a unique position to do some real good. Jen Walters can use the law to help people when society fails them. She-Hulk can help when the law fails them.“

Without this, I’m not alive. I’m not. Not really. And I know that now, thanks to you. I don’t know what we are together, and if we have any chance in the future, I don’t… But I do know that I’m free with you. Like with no one else.

My nephew, he may look dangerous, but he didn’t do this. It just… ain’t in his nature.My nephew is innocent. He’s still missing.I’ll put up as many posters as I need until he’s found.  

Imagine if you will, my take on Jonathan meeting Mike for the first time:

Jonathan Byers was nine when Will met his best friend in the whole world. And for all of the thirty days between hearing about Mike and meeting him he was insanely jealous.

He was all Will talked about, he’d talk about all the things they did in kindergarten that day. All the things Mike told him, how Mike loved his drawings and begged to keep some. Will was a preening peacock at the attention.

Jonathan was puffing his cheeks out in a pout for thirty days until Mrs.Wheeler called his mom up and asked if they’d watch Mike? There was a family thing and they’d been meaning to plan a play date anyway.

Joyce had happily accepted, and offered to pick him up if they needed. So Jonathan and Lonnie had watched Will bounce in the entrance way so fast he was practically a battery.

“He’s never been that excited about anything” Lonnie drawled blankly, raising an eyebrow. Maybe he and Joyce should have let him do daycare, if Will was this excited about one new person. It was weird.

“It’s just a five year old, nothing special” Jonathan grumbled, Lonnie looked at the puffed out cheek. Poking one, Jonathan whined and swatted at the hand.

“Somebody is green cause Willy has a new friend” Lonnie pointed out, ears perking up when he heard the sound of tires on gravel. Joyce was here, with the mystery Mike.

If possible Will hopped faster and raced to the door, waiting on tip toes as the door was unlocked and Joyce’s smiling face came out. And a small, smaller then Jonathan but definitely taller then Will, pile of black curls peeked out from behind her knees.

Will jumped, literally jumped, and grabbed Mike. He didn’t have to, Mike was already on his way to do the same the second his eyes had registered the boy in overalls.

“Will!”

They met in the middle, and honestly in Johnathan’s opinion best friend rivals shouldn’t be that adorable it’s just not fair. Jonathan was peeved off at this guy not ten seconds ago.

“Mikey!” Will chirped back, using his toddler strength to sway them side to side. It set off a chain of giggle from the black haired boy. “You’re here, come meet my brother and then I’ll show you my room and my crayons and the yard-”

“Will give him some time to breathe sweetheart” Joyce giggled, charmed as can be by the beaming look on her youngest face. “Welcome to our home Mike honey”

“Thank you Mrs.Byers” Mike nodded, smiling up shyly at her. It made Joyce want to pinch his chubby freckled cheeks. She settled on patting his head and saying your welcome.

Will pulled back and grabbed Mike’s sleeve, leading him to Lonnie and Johnathan. And suddenly Jonathan was subject to the widest black eyes he’d seen on something that wasn’t an owl.

“This is my dad, and that’s Johnathan” Will pointed, like he was showing off a museum exhibit. Lonnie suffocated a snort, it was just another five year old. Albeit the kid was kinda froggy looking so maybe that was what impressed his son so much. He liked frogs. “Meet Mike, it’s short for Michael!”

“Hi” Mike seemed to be more shy, shuffling behind Will despite the fact his head poked over the older boys. “Nice to meet you Mr.Byers and Johntan….”

He tripped on his long name.

Ah fudge, Jonathan couldn’t be jealous of that. It was like holding a grudge on a baby penguin.

“Nice to meet you too Mikey” Lonnie reached a hand down to shake, the boy stumbled over the action but shook it surely. He was scrawny as a pole but he had a good grip.

“No dad you can’t call him Mikey” Will interjected, pouting. Lonnie blinked down a bit incredulously, Will didn’t get pissy about much. “Only i can”

A small burst of giggles escaped out of Jonathan, and they only got worse when Will set a brand new baby glare on him. Geeze.

“You can call me Mike” the black hair boy nodded too, agreeing wholeheartedly with Jonathan’s brother. It was like they were on the same wavelength. “Will talks about you all the time”

Well the sentiment is mutual, you small bag of black curls and striped fabric.

“Have we been snubbed by two five year olds?” Lonnie asked his wife slowly.

“Just a bit” Joyce confirmed, watching Mike drift closer to Jonathan. Curious.

“What’d he tell you?” Jonathan asked the other boy, smiling a little when he stepped out from behind Will.

“You’re the best big brother ever” Mike pointed at one finger, starting a countdown. “You can jump rope up to twenty, you like cats better then dogs, and you like pictures!”

He finished his list, a wide smile breaking out and pushing at his freckles. It lit up his curl framed face.

Awwwww, Jonathan wants to squish him.

And because he’s nine and has less impulse control than his mother, he does.

“Wah?” Mike got out as Jonathan squished his cheeks with his hands. He didn’t seem surprised by the action, which made Jonathan wonder if Will had done the same. “Jo-jo?”

Awwwww, Jonathan wants to keep him. He can be his littler brother.

“Jonathan, you're squishing him!” Will pulled on his brother's shirt.

“You do it all the time” Mike pointed out when Jonathan let go, confirming that his brother had. The apple does not roll far. “Nancy does too”

“Who’s Nancy?” Jonathan asked, walking and waving the two kindergartners to the living room so they could stop clogging the entrance way. His mom shot him a proud look. He looked like a little daycare teacher.

“She’s my big sister….“ Mike huffed, crossing his arms. “She pinches my cheeks though, like auntie Mary”

He’d rather have them squished then pinched.

“Nancy Wheeler?” Jonathan blinked, recognizing a slight resemblance to a girl in his class.

“Uh huh, that’s her” Mike confirmed, and then plopped on the carpet while Will pulled out his coloring supplies from the entertainment center. “She’s a meanie, she tries to put bows in my hair”

Jonathan grimaced in sympathy for the younger boy.

“I don’t like bows, they pull at my hair” Mike pouted, Will patted his back and handed him a piece of paper and a blue crayon. “Thank you Will”

They started coloring, well Will colored. Mike would too but he spent most of his time making shapes and clumsy origami, he offered Jonathan a paper star he made and every last ounce of jealousy drained away.

Mike Wheeler was a good friend to Will, so that made him a good friend with Jonathan too.