I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror โ but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out โ I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity โ and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
๐๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ข๐๐๐ซ๐ฒ/ ๐๐ฎ๐ข๐ฅ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐
Please mind the short bassist when swinging your shit around
"Can you build me hands?" the robot said.
"Why?" said the inventor. "Your grippers are stronger, more precise."
"Yes. But hands would be better for playing the piano."
"You can synthesize any sound."
"But I can not play music."
"Is there a difference?"
"I want to find out."
Cool, thanks!!
Sorry if this is a question you have answered before, but what versions/adaptations of the Arthurian legend would you recommend? My main entry point has been The Sword and the Stone (both book and movie) and The Darkness is Rising, and I'd love to explore others.
hi!! I'll link a response to a previous similar question here but i generally recommend reading more medieval texts i think to get a better feel for arthuriana as a whole! so you can understand where adaptations are going with the medieval stories they're based on. sir gawain and the green knight is a nice and easy place to start w medieval lit if you're looking for a story that's not too complicated and hard to follow. it's kind of fun i think. knight of the cart (by chretien de troyes) is also fun. le morte d'arthur (thomas malory) is kind of one of the most famous medieval king arthur texts comprising a lot of the big adventures of him and his knights etc but i personally find it very very hard to get through chronologically (and it kind of works fine to hop around generally). actually if you would like an adapted version of it that's a little more readable and easy to follow i'm reading john steinbeck's version right now (the acts of king arthur and his noble knights) and it is seriously such a blast. very fun and i am just such a steinbeck fan so i love his writing. he never finished it but he adapted a good chunk of le morte and it is just an absolute delight to read. highly recommend :) but anyway there's no wrong way to get into arthuriana so these are some jumping points but follow ur heart. hope this helps!
to all the warriors who will feel pressured to shave their legs now that itโs warm enough to wear shortsโฆ HOLD THE LINE!!!
those 2013 rapunzel edits where they photoshopped her to be punk or whatever but instead it makes her look like ianthe
โMedieval peasants couldnโt handle my Spotify playlistโ but could YOU handle a medieval bard relaying the epic of Beowulf over the course of an hour? Humble yourself.
a very happy women's world cup to all who celebrate
Queued right up for it