Funny Phrases To Use When Something Goes Wrong Instead Of Jokingly Saying "i'm Going To Kms":

people who don't wear glasses are so weird like you just wake up and your eyes are pussy fresh??

I drew this in a fugue state last night

a very happy women's world cup to all who celebrate

Hey just a reminder that thought crime doesn’t exist and pretending to have empathy is just as good as having it! You can be the world’s biggest dickhead in the privacy of your own mind and as long as you’re outwardly kind it literally Does Not Matter

i actually really needed to hear this. love this outlook, thank you.

So I am currently knitting the Magical Flying Husband a tube scarf. I like tube scarves, they are thick and warm and soft and flexible. And this one's coming out fairly prettily, too! But I have never made one before, and I am thinking, well, I made this one pretty wide--a solid eight inches across, because I want him to be able to wrap it across his head if necessary and those four-inch-wide trendy tube scarves can't even cover your ears right. So I think, I will Ask the Internet what their opinion is on the perfect length for a tube scarf, and I will make any necessary adjustments from there in light of the width.

And the first result is a useful forum post, and the second result is a useful-ish Reddit post, and the third response is a little spreadsheet, and the fourth response...

the fourth response is this

I would argue that this is not a scarf

Also I am concerned by the possibility that the smiling human head is there to entice actual mammals closer to the Tube

(grabs you by the shoulders) you have to make room for new experiences in your life. you have to go through the unpleasant work of leaving your comfort zone, even if just for a few minutes at a time. because if you don't, your brain will trick you into stagnation. you will start to believe that the world can barely fit you in it. but that's not true. it's the opposite way around. you can fit the whole word inside of you. your task is only this: to welcome it with open arms

Did u see horan crash dvd’s interview bahahaha 🫶🏽

Lindsey catcalled her to get her attention lmfao

compilation

broooooo ahaha that's so epic. do you mind if i grow fond of you

Someday your hands will be old and wrinkled, the skin spotted and bunching over your knuckles. And a child will watch you make something. It's a simple task, you'll have done it a thousand times before. But to that child, the smooth, confident way your hands move will seem like impossible magic. You have to keep living.