Ingo Submas And Rina Love Live! Are Autistic Icons And You Cant Prove Me Wrong

Being undiagnosed with Autism for so long (like into your 20s) is incredibly debilitating. Because when you start making AdultTM decisions, & try to assert your independence, everyone considers you illogical. Then you start throwing a fit - or in my case angry crying - and seem to prove everyone’s point of how irresponsible you are. It’s really not that. I’m just hate being misunderstood & told that my ideas are stupid, when they make perfect sense. Even if the WAY I’m doing something is wrong, I’ll do what I want as long as the end result is legal & positive.

Having only recently realized as a 21 year old that I definitely have autism, I’m gonna make a list of all the things I thought were just me being weird or even that I thought everyone also did but were actually symptoms like omfg.

This is obviously a list of my own personal experiences and also kind of just for me to get it out there, but please feel free to reblog or reply with yours if you’re also coming to realization later in life!! 💞

1. AUDITORY PROCESSING DISORDER!! This was the tipping point for me realizing. I always thought I was just hard of hearing but nope!!! I can remember being 16 and trying to explain this to my old psychiatrist as everyone “sounding like they’re speaking simlish” which obviously fans of The Sims know is just gibberish, but she was interpreting it as me just knowing a whole other defined language 🤦🏻‍♀️ Which actually brings me to my next point…

2. Trying to explain things to people in a way that totally makes sense to me but barely anyone seems to understand what I’m trying to say. Like the words are wrong I guess, but they’re the only ones I can think of so I get seriously stumped. And then I try to correct myself but after two attempts and the person is still not getting it I just give up. Then there’s the even worse side of this where I’m just talking or making a joke but then my mom gets mad at me because I’m being “rude” but I don’t understand why. I’m not sure if I just wasn’t conveying my intentions properly or if I did actually say something rude and I just don’t know it. This fear has caused me to have really bad anxiety.

3. Asking someone a question but they don’t answer “the right way” so you just ask them again (and sometimes several more times). But not always right away and also you don’t always realize you’re asking again.

4. Thinking of how much mental and physical effort it takes to speak and becoming so extremely overwhelmed by it that you just remain silent, sometimes not by choice

5. In conversations with others and you’re spending the whole time formulating in your head what the “normal” response is rather than just naturally responding

6. ALWAYS GODDAMN BOUNCING MY LEG, tapping my foot, moving my arms, playing with my hair (a big one for movement and also touch stim), wiggling my toes (if I’m trying to be descreet), or just simply moving literally all of the time. I always thought I was just antsy but no. I cannot stop, I always have to be moving. People look at me weird.

7. Loud noises scaring me more than they should. The most prominent time I remember was getting so extremely scared to the point of tears every single time I’m at a parade and the fire trucks come by with ALL of their sirens on. Still to this very day. Even just hearing sirens close to me gives me anxiety it’s so loud

8. Total inability to retain focus on things. And actually I’ve known I have ADD for a few years but I didn’t think it was more than that.

9. If someone says something and the way they said it had a lovely cadence or it was just said funny or interestingly, I immedietly just repeat it in the same tone and pace without even thinking. It’s not even to make fun of someone, I just thought it sounded cool, but sometimes people get offended ://

Alexithymia be like "I'm upset but I don't know why...or maybe it's depression? Possible I'm tired. I'm tired. Or depressed. No, I don't feel depressed. But I'm upset. Wait...no. I'm bored. Great...now I'm upset."

Made a uh moodboard thingy haha

Source ~ Autism Women's Network

What is Autistic Burnout?

Signs:

Lack of motivation (hard to care about goals when everyday life is overwhelming)

Loss of executive functioning abilities (decision making, organisation etc)

Difficulty with self care

Easier to reach overload or meltdown

Loss of speech, selective mutism

Lethargy, exhaustion

Illness, digestive issues

Memory loss

Inability to maintain masks or use social skills

Overall seeming "more autisic" or stereotypical

May have a period of high energy before collapse

Causes:

Passing as neurotypical/suppressing traits

Doing "too much", too much stress

Ageing: needing more downtime, having less energy

Changes, good or bad (relationships, jobs, living arrangements, belongings, environment, routines...)

Sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, dehydration

Illness

Sensory or emotional overload

Strategies:

Time

Scheduling breaks, managing spoons

Leave of absence

Stimming, sensory diet

Exercise

Massage

Reminders and support

Routines

Better environment/job/etc

Boundaries, saying 'no'

Dropping the mask/facade

Solitude

Absolute quiet

Creative projects, passions, special interests

Paying attention to reactions and your body

realized something recently. I don’t have to shame and blame myself for my reactions to trauma / trauma responses. These are things I really don’t have much control over. I also don’t need to shame and blame others for provoking or triggering these responses / reactions to trauma that they don’t really understand. Honestly, the long and short of it is that trauma is SUPER confusing, and if I don’t understand my own issues the likelihood that someone else understands them is super low. While it’s not anybody’s FAULT that these reactions and responses exist and are getting triggered, it is MY RESPONSIBILITY to learn how to heal, both for myself and the people around me, so that we ALL experience less distress stemming from this trauma that we ultimately can’t really control.

To rephrase, like, when I start having a trauma response, how I behave is my responsibility, but how I’m thinking and how I’m feeling internally starts to become more and more out of control of “adult me.” It starts to be handled by “traumatized child me.” This situation is not my fault, nor is it the fault of the person who triggered the response. However, it poses difficulties for both of us, and it’s my responsibility to try to heal and allow adult me to stay in control and handle things, in order to lessen the difficulties for everyone.