Health Journey - Blog Posts

Hello there! As a new user to Tumblr, I am still learning the ropes. I am currently battling Metastatic Breast Cancer and a brain tumor, and your support would mean the world to me. I would greatly appreciate it. And if you are able and willing, please consider making a donation to help with my medical expenses and support my health journey. Thank you so much!

I can’t currently donate but reblogging 🩶

DAY #1: Sadar di Makam

Sebenarnya sejak kerja di tempat sekarang aku sadar bahwa aku gak gercep karena gemuk. Seiring berjalannya waktu, aku udah tau juga kalo aku ini makan banyak sesuai dg yang aku curhatin ke temenku di atas.

Tadi pas nyadran, aku lihat bayanganku di kaca mobil. Ternyata saat daguku agak nempel ke leher, muncul lipatan di bawahnya. Terus pas shalat, aku kesusahan saat mau sujud (ini aku pake korset dan celana jins, di mana kerasa banget kalo pahaku tuh besar).

Aku juga mudah capek, mudah marah, dsb.

Tuh kan... Hiks...

Aku harus set goals yang bener deh, kayak yang dilakukan Kak Dilla. Pokoknya aku ingin jangka panjang. Demi kesehatan dan #nosluggish

I decided to stop posting calories alongside my meals. Again, this stuff is mostly for my own reference to make things easier for myself. Almost like creating a menu for myself to look back on. Anyway, if I post it, it’s somewhere in the range of 350-500. This was lunch- potatoes, peas, and chicken sausage. Yes, I’ve been eating potatoes every day. Because po-tay-toes.

Todays activity took me to the garden. I sowed some more seeds for the fall - radish, lettuce, and carrots for the third time.

Apparently carrots don’t germinate in temps over 80 degrees. I didn’t find that out until after the second attempt.

I’ll probably do a last harvest of my tiny peppers and giant basil this weekend and then take them out and maybe plant something else for the fall.

Oh and I accidentally grew some pumpkins from the ones I chucked out back last year 🎃

A lovely little breakfast on this (finally) cool September morning

We needed cheap and easy tonight so I got some rotisserie chicken and a baguette from the grocery store and made salad BECAUSE HEALTHY HOBBITS EAT BREAD.

This doesn’t look super appetizing but, my god, it’s so comforting.

Healthy hobbits make pizza with their family on the weekends

A cozy little lunch, because healthy hobbits eat their veggies 🥗

Bbq sauce goes weirdly well with broccoli.

Bonus hobbit points - bell peppers and jalapeños came from my garden and I pickled the jalapeños myself

I went for a cozy walk today. It’s hot outside and I wanted to light a candle and walk in front of my tv so that’s what I did. I also downloaded this app that tracks your steps and you travel to fake Mordor, but I’m just using the free trial bc I haven’t decided if I want to buy the full version. With the trial you can only track one mile per day.

We tried to go for an outside walk after dinner but the halflings were being difficult and then we wound up getting in a conversation with our neighbors

I made the same lunch as yesterday but added bell peppers and used sesame sauce instead of bbq to give it a different flavor. It was definitely more filling with the added veg but I preferred the taste of the bbq.

We are loving a simple life so I always cook the meat and prep the veg in a batch ahead of time so it takes less time to cook

This has become a favorite comfort snack, especially when it’s cold. It’s like chicken and stars soup, but it’s homemade and it tastes better. Plus it’s super simple to make

For two weeks I’ve been eating more vegetables and fruits, cutting back on salt and alcohol, and eating less “overly processed” foods. Already I am sleeping better, having less anxiety and heart palpitations, and overall, I’m just feeling better. Huzzah!

I only loosely track non starchy vegetables like the ones in my salad because I’m lazy and the calorie count is generally pretty small so I don’t care. Also here’s some really yummy toppings is use. I love salad.

Tomorrow I will add more veg to make this more filling, otherwise it was really good. Also, this seasoning makes everything taste good

This isn’t an image thing - I’m fine with being squishy looking. But I’m feeling the negative effects of my squishiness. I just don’t feel good or comfortable of cozy. I feel sluggish and lazy and helpless. I want to change because

I have two small children and I don’t have the energy to give them all I can and it breaks my heart

I want to feel comfortable in my clothes

I want to live long enough to have a relationship with my adult children and grandchildren (if my kids choose to, or are able to, have them)

I am flying to Spain next year. I hate flying. I want to at least feel comfortable on such a long flight and not claustrophobic

I want to sleep better

I’m tired of my heels cracking under the pressure of my weight

I want to be able to fill my day with fun activity without feeling dead at the end of it.

I want to, hopefully, rid of my acid reflux

I want to feel good and healthy and active for as long and as late as I can in life

Time is going to pass anyway - I want to make the most of it

A cozy little snackeroo. Pro tip, keep those snackie veggies cut and washed in the fridge!

I had no intention of tracking my weight loss stuff here but this is how I need to journal it. I just want to keep track of meals as an easy resource so I’m not constantly calculating calories. I just want to be simple and cozy and curl up in a warm hobbit hole and eat bread. So this is a really kind of perfect breakfast - once I get a different sausage. Note that Jimmy Dean Turkey sausage Pattie’s are mushy garbage, but will do for now. It checks all my cozy boxes and is pretty filling

Daily Check-in - July 27, 2023 🎀

Today was easier than yesterday, but I am still so sleepy and tired. I have to work a full shift tomorrow AND Saturday on top of my weekend chores so I'm hoping to take Sunday as a full self care day! Fingers crossed!!

🩷 What I Ate Today:

Breakfast - One slice of toast with mashed avocado, paprika, a fried egg, and a side of watermelon, and one cup of coffee.

Lunch - ground beef burrito bowl with black beans, shredded cheese, chopped iceberg lettuce, sour cream, salsa, and a low carb tortilla.

Dinner - One plate of spaghetti with meat marinara sauce, grated parmesean cheese, and two pieces of buttered bread

Other - One cup of coffee with French vanilla creamer

Water ~ 30oz I just forgot to drink water today, but using my water bottle has gotten easier and helped me drink more during the work day.

I didn't feel like snacking much today, and I couldn't finish my lunch, but I am very satisfied with my intake today! I love eating healthier and listening to my body. I do track what I eat, but I make sure it's food I like! Given my past, I can't do restrictions, so I choose to honor my wants in a way that works towards my goals and nourishes both my mind and body.

🩷 Workout - Upper Body Pilates (ish)

This one was really good! It was my first time trying it and it had my arms burning in a good way. I really enjoyed it, and I totally recommend. This is definitely going to be a regular of mine! 10/10

This one has been a favorite for a few years, I absolutely love the way it makes my arms feel. The movements are easy and effective, and leave me sore in a good way. Absolutely my favorite lean arms workout, hands down! 11/10

🩷 Habits I Completed Today:

Made my bed

Morning & Night Skincare

Morning & Night Guided Journal

Read 1 Chapter of a book

Workout

I forgot to do my mediation and stretching, and I didn't meet my hydration goal, but I'm taking every day in stride and doing what my energy allows me to accomplish. I believe in self compassion and flexibility in routine, especially given how my energy fluctuates on a daily basis. However, I am definitely doing the full habits list tomorrow, I'm going to challenge myself to accomplish every daily goal I have for myself!

🩷 Song of The Day: Eleven - IVE

This song makes me feel like a badass princess who deserves only the highest level of princess treatment. It's hard to describe how feminine and girly this song makes me feel, even on my most tomboyish, sweaty work days. An absolute bop!!

🩷 Current Read: Atomic Habits by James Clear

Tomorrow, I can do this. I can meet my goals, all of them. It'll take some effort, but I have faith in myself. Once I get the ball rolling, it's just a matter of forward motion with accomplishing each of my goals. I can't wait!!

I also need to budget for next Saturday, as I'm going shopping for some new clothes before my university opens back up for the fall semester. If I'm gonna feel my best, I'm going to look my best too! I'm really hoping to get a few new dresses, accessories (like hair stuff, pantyhose, jelwery, purses, etc), shoes, and maybe some tops and skirts too depending on what the store has. I love shopping, so I'm super excited!!!

Til tomorrow, my lovelies!! <3

Accountability Post- 2 January 2022

I completed my first workout of 2023 today. Pretty proud of myself. I, almost, didn’t go to the gym. I’m really glad I did. 

I decided to restart my slightly modified version of the tik tok famous 12330 workout. Last year, I mentioned this in a post where I, briefly, discussed what I had been including in my workout routine. So, the 12330 workout is a treadmill workout that was created by a social influencer named Lauren Giraldo. Basically, you walk on the treadmill on an incline of 12, speed of 3, for 30 minutes. I do a 10330 (Incline 10, speed 3, for 30 minutes). For some reason, in my head, an incline of 12 seems too intimidating (Honestly, an incline of 10 is still a lot for me, but I did it lol). 

Cardio-wise I’m still going to be doing the hill workouts I was doing last year (whenever I actually worked out). I think I’m just going to alternate between them and the 10330...just to add some variety, so I don’t get too bored.

Anyway...on to today’s workout...

Today was leg day (my fave):

1. 3-minute warm up on the stairmaster

2. 18 minutes of weights

3. 30 minutes on the treadmill (Incline 10; Speed 3) + a 5-minute cool down after

I’m feeling pretty great (and tired lol). Now, I’m going to read a couple of chapters of the first book in my 2023 reading list (All About Love by Bell Hooks), then I’m off to bed. 

Here’s to starting the year off strong :)

Accountability Post: 12 September 2022

Finally got myself back in the gym. I ended up going after dinner. This is going to take a while for me to get used to, as I, usually, prefer morning workouts.

Anyway…today was leg day!

This consisted of:

1. A two-minute warmup on the stair master (it would have been three minutes, but I was already starting to struggle at the 30-second mark lol I’ll get there eventually)

2. 18 minutes of weights (I usually aim for 15 to 20 minutes of weight lifting)

3. A 20-minute hill workout on the treadmill, followed by a five-minute cooldown

I didn’t go as hard as I would have liked to, but at least I did something. That’s enough for me 🤷🏾‍♀️

Now I’m going to go make some tea, read, and then head to bed. Good night, ya’ll!

Accountability Post #1 (Starting Over)

Hey ya’ll....it’s been a WHILE.

Just a few life updates before I get to the health/fitness stuff:

-I have, officially, finished moving out of my apartment 

-I have, officially, finished moving back home (This is going to take some getting used to but I’ll be fine...plus I still have a bunch of stuff in boxes that I have yet to unpack...baby steps)

-I have been getting settled at my new, post-grad job

Overall, I finally feel a bit more grounded now (at least in comparison to the past two months lol). So, I’m ready to get back on track again and start taking better care of myself.

I’ve been putting so much time and energy into other people lately and neglecting myself. I’m disappointed that I let it get to this point, but I’m ready to redirect my focus and start investing some of that time and energy into myself and my goals...not just the health and fitness goals. I have a bunch of personal and professional goals that need attention...

I have not been to the gym in WEEKS. But, that’s okay. The past two months have been extremely hectic and I needed to take some time to deal with a lot of stuff...some of which I’m still dealing with but, everything will be okay in the end.

I didn’t go to the gym today, but I did manage to get over 10,000 steps. This is amazing for me because, usually, I average around 4,000 to 5,000 steps a day (less on the days I’m not working). 

I’m aiming to start going to the gym again tomorrow. With how my schedule is right now, the gym is going to have to be an after work thing. I know this will be difficult for me for a while because I have always preferred getting my workouts done in the morning....I mean I could try to go before work but, with how early I start, I would have to be going to the gym at 4 in the morning...which would mean having to wake up at 3 in the morning (No thank you lol).

Anyway, I’m going to read then go to bed.

Good night, everyone! Sending you all good vibes and energy for the rest of this week. :)

Getting Back on Track

The past few weeks have been kind of difficult. I ended up getting off track with my fitness goals. Surprisingly, though, I have been able to stay on track with my eating. I’m not calorie restricting or anything (honestly, I stopped actively counting my calories a long time ago). I have just been making sure I focus on eating actual food and incorporating, at least, some servings of fruit and/or vegetables throughout each week. I also focus on how I feel after eating certain foods. If there is something specific I want or am craving, I just eat it. No big deal. Having a cookie (or 2) at lunch is not going to, suddenly, reverse everything I have done prior to this month. I think the fact that I pack my lunch almost everyday for work has also been helping me.   

Anyway, I really want to get back on track with the fitness component. I’ve stopped caring so much about weightloss. I just want to be strong (and to be able to do a pull up without any assistance lol). I also miss the gym in general. I actually got to the point where the gym was becoming a source of stress relief for me. With how life has been (e.g., personal stuff, the overall, disappointing state of the world, etc.) I think we all could benefit from finding those things that help us make it through each day.

I’m going to try to go to the gym tomorrow after work. It might be difficult to get back into my previous routine, but I’m ready. 

13 June 2022

So...last month, a couple of my friends and I created our own 90 Day “Glow Up” challenge. We created goals that we wanted to accomplish together (e.g., trying a new recipe each week, working out 4-5 times a week, etc.). Additionally, we each created individual goals that we want to work towards during this time frame. Unlike some of the challenges I have seen gain popularity on social media (e.g., tik tok, insta, etc.) a component we added was that if you “mess up” or are inconsistent one day, you just try again the next day. There is no restarting or punishing ourselves. Instead, we will check in with ourselves, reflect on what’s working and what hasn’t been working, and then keep trying. We, officially, started our challenge on May 30, 2022 and will complete it on August 31, 2022. 

I have decided to start making accountability posts pertaining to my individual goals on this blog. My friends and I have been keeping up with each other on a shared google doc that we used to outline all the “rules” of our challenge. However, there have been days where I have not been as consistent as I want to be. I feel that making additional posts here will help me to stay on track. 

I also want to emphasize that with this challenge, the focus is not just on physical health. Additionally, instead of being stuck on losing weight, my personal aim is to build up my strength and increase my endurance. I also want to focus on my mental and spiritual health. Basically, my main goal is to really work on loving and being kinder to myself and my body. I’m using this summer to focus on myself and improve myself for, you guessed it, myself.

My next post will be my first accountability post for this week. Stay tuned :)

18 May 2022- Another Life Update (This time a happy one)

Well, I did it ya’ll. I have, officially, graduated.

These past couple of years have been rough, but I’m really proud of myself. Grad school is already hard on its own. Grad school with a pandemic AND a bunch of negative things happening in your personal life? Don’t get me started...

Anyway, I’m (cautiously) looking forward to what my future holds. So far, I’ve been able to cross off a few things from the vision board I made on New Year’s Eve. I’m determined to cross off more soon.

Also, with school out of the way, I think this is the perfect time to get back on track with my health and fitness goals. I haven’t stepped foot inside a gym in MONTHS. I’m actually looking forward to restarting tomorrow.

I know I’ve done this several times already. I used to feel embarrassed every time I would post about having another setback on here. But, you know what? I’ll restart 100 times if that’s what it takes to get to where I want. 

So, here we go again :)

26 March 2021-Life Updates

Sooo...it’s been over a month since I last made a personal post on here. So, here are some life updates:

1. I have been very (extremely) inconsistent with both working out and maintaining a healthier diet. This year has really been kicking my ass. There is so much I have to do in preparation for the end of this semester. I know that is not an excuse, but I really don’t have any other reason to explain me slacking. I’m just so tired all the time. No matter when I go to bed and how much sleep I get, I still feel exhausted. I’m so stressed and burnt out at this point, but I can’t stop yet. I still have like 5 more weeks. But, those 5 weeks seem so far away.

2.  I’ve been actively planning my future. Anything to keep me going and to give me something to look forward to. I’ve been applying to jobs. I, recently, started budgeting and keeping better track of how much I spend each month. I made a list of places I would love to visit one day. I made another list consisting of things I want to try (pole dancing sounds especially fun). I even made a list of books I want to read within these next few months.   

3. I’ve been working on putting myself first. I’ve been, slowly, setting better boundaries with people and being more mindful about my own time and needs. I definitely worry so much (too much) about other people and what they think of me. I’m constantly worried about losing people. I’m always afraid that the people I love are going to get sick of me one day and realize they don’t want to be in my life anymore and no longer want me in theirs. It’s happened before, not even once or twice...I work so hard to make sure I don’t do anything that upsets people. I have realized that I, often, go out of my way to make others happy at the expense of my own happiness. I give so much grace to to people who would, no doubt, drop me the moment I make 1 mistake. And...I’m not saying you shouldn’t drop people. If that’s what brings you peace, definitely set those boundaries with those who are draining you and are toxic for you. What I mean is that I find myself letting people get away with talking to me and treating me in ways that they, themselves, would not tolerate. So...why on earth am I tolerating it, you know? Why can’t I set boundaries with people too? Why do I always have to feel guilty for putting myself first for once? I shouldn’t feel guilty for putting myself first and neither should any of you.

Anyway, this is just me rambling. Today, I cleaned out my fridge and went through my cupboards. I’m going to go grocery shopping tomorrow. I plan on buying actual food. Not just quick snacks I can take with me on the go. My goal is to cook an actual meal tomorrow night. I think I’m also going to find time to do a light workout or even just go for a walk. I really want to start feeling like myself again.

27 September 2021

Hey ya’ll.

It’s been a while (over a month to be exact). Sorry for the really inconsistent posting. Everytime I feel like I finally have it together again, something else happens or gets in the way. That’s life, I guess...

Anyway...I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting this past week. This post is going to be another one of me ranting/rambling, so feel free to scroll on (or read on).

I really want to get back into my fitness routine again. I’ve been feeling so sluggish, lately. I know that’s partly because I have not done a lot of physical activity since the last time I posted. The most I move around is when I’m on campus for class, which still counts for something, given how awful I have been feeling, but still...I know can do better. Though, I also know it’s important to not put so much pressure on yourself, but sometimes that’s easier said than done. 

I’m just really tired of always feeling this way...always feeling like I’m not good enough and that all my problems would be solved if I finally just lost the stupid weight already...but I have to remind myself that, even when I was thinner, life was not necessarily made any easier. My self-worth should not be so closely tied to my clothing size...

Last week, I made the decision to start focusing on myself. I deleted some contacts (and blocked some others). I decorated my room, which I’ve been wanting to do for the past year now. I caught up on my school work. I hung out with one of my best friends (we got Thai food and talked for hours). 

I even made a whole “glow up” plan for myself. However, when I say glow up, I don’t mean just my appearance. 

I want to glow up as a person in general. I want to be content with myself and be content with being alone. I want to connect more with myself more. I want to take myself on dates. I want to be more consistent with my spirituality. I want to meditate more and pray more. I want to start and end every day with reciting affirmations. I want to start writing in my journal again. I want to stop comparing myself to other people. I want to learn how to love myself. I want to validate myself without needing other people to do so for me. I want to do things I’ve always been afraid of doing because of posssible judgement (e.g. pierce my nose, get a tattoo (or several), change my hair, etc). I want to feel good about myself. I want to stop feeling like there is something wrong with me everytime a guy I fall for treats me horribly, leads me on, leaves me for someone else, or, simply, changes their mind about me. I want to stop always feeling like everything is my fault and that I don’t deserve to be happy. I want to do all of these things and more. 

I’m going to do all of these things and more.

I have, honestly, lost myself. I can’t really pinpoint the exact moment this started, but, over the past few years, I have really lost myself...

Here’s to finding her again.

Me starting my fitness journey for the 1000th time in a row tomorrow :)

3 July 2020

It’s been a really bumpy few weeks for me this summer. One good thing is I have finally become consistent with working out. One of my fitness goals is to maintain some level of physical activity for at least four to five times a week. I have worked out 5 times a week for the past two weeks now :). Hopefully, I can keep it up.