Curate, connect, and discover
I have been really self deprecating in my conversation, own thoughts, habits, etc. Which is, as many would say, very tiresome and annoying. Still, I don't think that noticing how bothering others with the guilt you feel for being bothersome is a "self fulfilling prophecy" will be the reason for me stop doing so, because I think that was atleast (but not necesseraly) uncounsciously the point from the start. It is a very egocentrical act, which is fitting for someone so insecure, to want to be right for once, to prove and to be proved correct. My intentions were never being loved, it was merely being seem (as something really unloveable)
A lot of people are way less complicit in their own suffering than I am. I am more of an enabler than a victim or survivor. I don't think it is impossible to abandonm this position, if I say so impersonally