stay dehydrated❤️ fuck therapy❤️ kill your family❤️ throw your meds down the toilet❤️ die❤️
watching peep and the big wide world to cope. it is helping
Raise your hand if you would kill every version of yourself to be the special unique one
𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥
it's all fun and games until the raggedy ann doll starts breathing. i felt her chest rising and falling. her head was turning when i would look away. what does tbis mean guys what does this mean!!!!
Cross posting this ValAngel thing I put on twitter. Tw for abusive relationship.
Valentino with memory issues from all the years of hard drugs. He forgets where he left his phone, why he summoned his assistant, what he likes to order at restaurants. When he forgets, he gets frustrated and lashes out.
So Angel keeps track of things for him. He makes a mental note of where Val puts his keys and remembers his favorite foods. In peaceful times, he does it out of love, to dispel the lost expression on Val’s face. When things are bad, he does it to avoid Val's temper tantrums.
But he walks a tightrope. If he’s too forward with his help, Val will take offense and lash out. So Angel flirts and flatters and makes Val think everything is his idea.
“I'm hungry,” Angel pouts cutely, because he’s noticed that Val hasn't eaten in hours and he always gets cranky when he's hungry. “Take me to that place I like?” It’s actually the place that Val likes, but this way he gets to feel like he's spoiling Angel. The strategy has worked well in the past. Valentino likes to feel magnanimous- as long as Angel is properly grateful, of course.
Val can't find his keys, so Angel surreptitiously sweeps them up from where he saw Val toss them earlier. He drops them onto the couch cushion nearby when Val is looking away. When he looks back, even with his poor eyesight, Val spots the keys. Crisis averted.
They get to the restaurant and slide into the booth. “Want me to read ya the menu?” Angel asks, and he knows it's a mistake when Val’s eyes narrow. He’s about to say that he can read the fucking menu himself, he's not blind, but Angel thinks fast.
He tilts his head and frowns down at the menu. “Hang on. Is this thing in French or somethin’? I can't read none of this.”
Val relaxes. “You're so stupid,” he says affectionately. “It's a good thing you're pretty.”
The menu is in Spanish, not French, and Angel knows it. But he mispronounces half the words as he reads them aloud so that Val can chuckle and correct him each time.
Val orders fajitas, so Angel gets the enchiladas that Val likes. When the order arrives, Angel takes a bite and moans with pleasure. “Soooo good. Try this, daddy.” He feeds Val a bite from his fork, and Val brightens immediately.
He tells Angel that it's just the way his grandma used to make them- a thing he's told Angel a dozen times already, but Angel doesn't remind him of that. He lets Val eat his food while he picks at Val’s abandoned fajitas.
They drink margaritas and cuddle in the booth, making fun of the waitress, gossiping about which of the restaurant’s other customers are hot enough to feature in Val’s movies.
Angel prides himself on being able to handle Valentino. He senses the slightest shifts in his moods, defuses his anger before it flares. This time, Angel navigated safely through the storm. Now he gets to enjoy Valentino at his flamboyant, affectionate best.
On days like this, it's easy to dismiss the days that didn't go well. When Angel missed a signal or failed to suppress an eyeroll, or snapped an “I know,” after Val told him the same anecdote for the hundredth time, only realizing his mistake when Val yanked him off his feet.
When Angel lets himself be flattered by the pet names that Val murmurs into his ear, when he bites his lip when Val gets handsy with him under the table, when the bad days are the farthest thing from his mind…Angel has to wonder which one of them actually has a bad memory.
suspected bpd culture is knowing no matter how good the relationship starts out you will be the downfall of it eventually
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The solo lines during the hotel rebuild in Finale are actually so fucking impactful though.
Niffty: "to build a hotel" - Niffty is the person brought in to maintain what was there; now she's actively working to build something new for all of them. She's not looking at the rubble and seeing a mess that needs to be cleaned up. She's looking at it and seeing something to create with her friends.
Angel Dust: "start with foundation" - Angel was the hotel's first patron; he was really the foundation of it all. Angel's progress is what's been keeping Charlie's dream steady this whole time. Watching him grow has been reassuring her that she's doing something right.
Lucifer: "remedial creation" - Lucifer, who lost faith in humanity after seeing what they did with free will, is remembering the hope he had for them back in Eden because his daughter taught him the potential he saw so long ago.
Charlie: "make the best of what's in ruins" - She's acknowledging that where she saw destruction and failure right after the battle, there's still hope. She's looking at everything that's happened, the successes and failures, and using it to build something better based on her experiences instead of giving up, starting over, or just picking up where she left off.
Vaggie: "new coat of paint" - Paint isn't just decoration. It's the first thing people tend to notice, because it's color. The right or wrong color can make a huge difference in people's opinions. Structure is good practically, but a bright appearance is what draws people in, NOT what's on the inside of the building. As far as making this hotel, Charlie's dream, come true, that ability to draw people in is incredibly important; and Vaggie's been trying her hardest to make that dream come true from the very start. And, just like Charlie, she's acknowledging that a little change is necessary to make this better by learning from what went right and wrong before.
Husk: "new lights across the marquee" - Husk was the least enthusiastic about all this in the beginning. He was only there because Alastor forced him to be. Now that he's seen the hotel actually helping people (Angel being the prime example), he sees it as a place that can give hope and light.
And as a bonus, because it's me so of course I have to...
Charlie + Vaggie: "we're gonna do this, you and me" - Charlie and Vaggie are the ones who started it all. Charlie had a dream and Vaggie was the only one who believed in her. In the beginning, it was just them against all odds; and it's still the two of them swearing to stay by each other no matter what. This line specifically is so incredibly emotional in its depth, and I adore it.
This song went so hard with its rebuild lines AND the Chaggie one, and I just think that's amazing.