MDNI. Aged Up Characters. ✩࿐࿔

communication is a pillar of the sukuna household. and that means a full debrief after kindergarten is absolutely non-negotiable. 

the three of you are stationed at the living room couch, babykuna positioned squarely between you and sukuna, legs swinging as she recounts the major political events of the day—how she valiantly stopped a classmate from consuming a crayon (a heroic feat, if she does say so herself), how she devoured every last bite of her snack (because growing warriors need fuel), and how she bravely faced the trials of nap time.

but the moment your fingers start combing through her soft yet unruly hair, it’s game over. mid-sentence, her voice slows, then slurs, and before either of you can intervene, she’s slumped forward, using sukuna’s stomach as a very cushy, very comfortable pillow. the air is filled with the sound of soft, rhythmic snores.

sukuna, meanwhile, looks like he's in the throes of a full-blown crisis. his face is bright red, eyes wide, jaw clenched as he tries—desperately—to suppress the violent wave of cuteness aggression overtaking his entire body. you can see the vein on his forehead pulsing with the sheer force of his willpower. his fingers twitch. his breathing is uneven. the sheer adorableness of the situation is threatening to send him into an unhinged outburst, and you know if you don’t intervene, he’s going to lose it.

“honey,” you murmur, barely above a whisper. “breathe.”

“i am,” he rasps, voice strained, fists clenching against his thighs. “barely.”

and when babykuna lets out a particularly soft little sigh in her sleep, nuzzling deeper into his stomach, sukuna makes a noise so ungodly you’re concerned he might actually explode on the spot.

Caught Being Cringe .ᐟ

𝜗𝜚: satoru, suguru, nanami, choso, ino, toji

note: asking them who’s your {insert cringe} boy ! i saw this on tiktok and i hope yall get it lmao. be nice, this is the first time i’ve gotten inspo😭

warnings: suggestive, fluff, cringe pet names, mommy kink in choso, f!reader

I BLOCK MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS

Hiii, is your Batmom stuff in order like where do I start, like I read some here and there and they're amazing so I was wondering if there's a chronological order?

Hey ! …Hum…there could be a chronological order…Ok well, I’m gonna spend my next hour giving you said order eh. On my masterlist blog, the stories are basically in the order I posted them, but I believe I can make a chronological order and a sort of timeline. Here it goes : 

So there’s two kind of Batmom stories. The ones that are connected, the ones that have the same “main” Batmom, and stories unrelated with those, usually one shots. And here we go, let’s start with my “main” Batmom (also a good way to do a list of all the connected stories haha) and a somewhat chronological order : 

There used to be a story where my main Batmom and Bruce met at a charity Batmom was having (she’s a writer that was starting to be famous and had a charity to give easier access to books to disadvantages population in Gotham) but hum…it got accidentally erased. I still remember the story though, so maybe one day, I’ll re-write it. Anyway. This is where it’s suppose to begin. 

The first time he saw you

Making him work for it

“You’re not hard to love, Bruce”

“You made me hide under the desk” (NSFW, 18+, minors don’t interact)

“My last happy birthday was my eighth one…”  

Insecurities shmunsecurities

The Break-Up part ¼

The Break-Up part 2/4

The Break-Up part 2.5/4

The Break-Up part ¾

The Break-Up part 4/4

“The art of taking care of the woman you love” (TW : periods)

Making Bruce Wayne blush

“Can the Batman get flustered ?” 

Smol Dickie and Jaybird

Wedding and pop-corns

“My biggest mistake” by Jason P. Todd 

The Batmom Glare

Ma Broosh !

Silly Bat’

The first time they called you mom

“You have kids ?? And…A WIFE ?”

“Hey Mrs. Wayne !”

Behind closed door (NSFW, 18+, minors don’t interact)

“Just play the damn game with me !” 

Period drama with mama 

Tears

“Self-care is important you IDIOT !”

Pierced 

Fun Fair with the family

The Batkids watching “The Omen”

The Batkids watching “The Lion King”

How terrible it is to love something that death can touch

“Admit it, Bruce” (NSFW, 18+, minors don’t interact)

“Your wife is hot”

“Your wife is hot” part 2

“You’re…you’re Bruce’s father !”

“Mother, it’s your day”

Anonymous Hate

Never piss off a magician

“Mother has been poisoned”

Valentine’s day is a stupid holiday

Burrito Blanket Batmom

How to tame a Wayne

Wild Child

“Jigsaw is coming for me”

In which the batboys fight to know which Hogwarts’ house is the best 

Oh shit, it’s father’s day !

The Last Pit (part ½)

The Last Pit (part 2/2)

My mom is better than yours 

Each tattoo is a story

Short bonus convo : Bruce and Batmom gross out the Batboys

“Did this miscreant hurt you mother ?”

“Are we not gonna talk about the elephant in the room ?” 

“You’re mister J’s new obsession, Sugar” (part 1/3)

“You’re mister J’s new obsession, Sugar” (part 2/3)

“You’re mister J’s new obsession, Sugar” (part 3/3)

“That’s not how you negociate !”

Death, Amnesia, and 4 coffee please

“You’re cute when you’re jealous”

“My parents are gross…ly in love" 

“Where did the coffee table go ?”

“She’ll always be our mom”

“Mom, are you a drug dealer ?!”

It’s Alfred Day !

“Vacations are rare for the Waynes”

Beach Bod’

I’m not drunk, you are

The Batkids watching “The Omen” 

The many times Alfred Pennyworth walked in on his master and his wife making love, and that one time his young masters wished they were blind (NSFW, 18+, minors don’t interact)

“It’s her, but it’s not her !” (part ½)

“It’s them, but it’s not them !” (part 2/2)

“Talk to my son like that again, and I will end you” 

Batbrats

When you’re your husband’s biggest simp

Buttslap ?/Batslap !

Can you be friend with your husband’s ex-girlfriend ?

Early Mornings with the Bat

“Is Father…drunk ?”

A Mother’s love : Burst of Affection

Sick Day

Mama’s boys/girl

Jason Todd(ler)

Operation : retrieving the sex tape

Slice of life : cooking lessons

YOU IDIOT !

“I’m done with you, Mr. Wayne”

“I can be myself around you”

“I want a divorce !”

Alive (NSFW, 18+, minors don’t interact)

How to remove a Wayne safely

The comfort of Loving arms 

#MyParentsAreLosers

“Hopefully, no one will notice” (NSFW, 18+, minors don’t interact)

“She should cut her nails” (part ½ of the League teasing the “batlovers”)

“Bruce…sucks !” (part 2/2 of the League teasing the “batlovers”).

The Talk

“BATMAN IS NEVER JEALOUS”

“You slept with Superman ?”

The List (NSFW, 18+, minors don’t interact)

The wrath of a short woman

Random convo between Batmom and Broosh

I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore… 1/3 (Marvel Crossover)

“I don’t like cats”

Odd socks

Halloween in…December ?!

I’ll always be here for you

Tickles and loss

Happy Holidays

“My last happy birthday was my eighth one…” 

Short bonus convo : Batboys want a sibling

Batman doesn’t eat pie

Good Night Rituals

Baby Wayne

“I’m lost without you…”

“You’re not even my mom !”

Polichinelle

The Great Mall adventure

“Please don’t freak out, but my water just broke”

Master of Diaper

Shaky steps and bad teaching

“Go away, you’re confusing my baby”

Wild Child 2, “We want them back”

How do you make babies ?

The day he understood what Death means

“Mom got lost again” 

Don’t wanna go

And when I’m gone… 

My Mother’s apple orchard

After Batmom’s death

And then all the unrelated stories, and obvs those are not in any particular orders : 

“Bruce, my heart, I think Alfred likes my mom !”

Catching the Bat’s heart 

Sneaky Bastard (NSFW, 18+, minors don’t interact)

A chance to say goodbye

Fate is a bitch part 1/?

Fate is a bitch part 2/?

Relationship headcanons part 1/?

“You could have anyone you want !”

Behave

“I don’t wanna get married”

There is nothing left of him

“Let me get one thing straight…I’m not !”

Three parts of a whole (Batman x Reader x Superman) (NSFW, 18+, minors don’t interact)

Professor Wayne ¼ (Teacher!AU)

Professor Wayne 2/4

Professor Wayne 2.5/4 (NSFW, 18+, minors don’t interact)

Professor Wayne 3/ 4

Professor Wayne 4/4

The single rider line

“Can you be my dad’s girlfriend, please ?” 

“My fake boyfriend is a billionaire ?!”

From enemies to lovers 

“Life is worth it, I’ll prove it” (Battinson)

Never Again (Battinson)

Yeah wow. Most of my stories are the “main” Batmom eh…

PS : I TOTALLY meant to do it by the way, to have a timeline. It was my plan all along to create a sort of universe, with a timeline that makes sense and such. I totally knew what I was doing, definitely didn’t make that timeline up on the spot…Nop’ nop’ nop’. Always meant it. Since day one. Ahem. #whenyourealizethatyoucreatedatimelinethatmadesenseanddidn’tdoitonpurpose

Odysseus: *Has sex with his with the moment he get's back, has a set of twins.+

Athena: *Comes to see the twins and bless them*

Odysseus: *Unable to keep his hands off his wife*

Athena: *Comes down just to smack Odysseus* Stop breeding!

Single dad Toji who meets the reader while taking his son out (grocery store or for a walk). Toddler Megumi instantly gets attached and the reader and Toji form a friendship since Megumi is attached at her hip. After taking Megumi a few places and being mistaken for an adorable family, the two start to realize they have feelings for eachother. Megumi starts insisting on having a sibling with reader being the mom. Toji and the reader sit down one night after Megumi goes to bed and have a serious talk about their feelings and Megumi's desire for a sibling. They jump feet first into a relationship and start trying for a baby. Maybe on Christmas they surprise Megumi with the news of the sibling he always wanted.

Bestie I love you so much for this you don’t understand you’re so smart and I’m melting into a puddle because I just love you guys so much for requesting this omg😭😭tysm for requesting pls let me know if you want to see more!!

Tw- single dad Toji, also whole au where there are no sorcerers so happy au!🥰 except Megumi’s bio mom is dead and she is mentioned, idk not much else maybe like them trying to have a baby and Megumi pestering for a baby sister😭let me know if I missed anything though!!

Toji’s least favorite day of the week had arrived, grocery day. And it could not be avoided because it was avoided last week.

So when his precious two year old son Megumi got home from the daycare, Toji and him were off to the grocer.

Megumi did not like the grocery shop, all the neighbor ladies cood at him excessively and he didn’t like it.

You were different, he noticed you in the frozen isle, you where the neighbor who had come over for dinner that one time!

And Megumi, bless him yelled after you while he pointed, it was more of toddler babble but you could make out a few words and Toji wanted the floor to eat him whole.

How did his son, who barely speaks embarrass him infront of his only pretty neighbor?

However, it seemed to work in Toji’s favor, you give megumi one of the sweetest smiles he’s seen giving him a tiny wave, “hi honey” you smile and Megumi bounces in his seat as he reaches for you in the cart.

“Hi darling” you coo gently brushing your hand through his soft black hair and Megumi giggles and smiles up at you as he holds onto your arm nuzzling into your hand.

“Do you have plans for dinner?” You’re looking at megumi but the shift in your tone tells Toji he needs to respond.

“Uhmm” he fumbles, “not yet…maybe ordering in?”

You whip your head to him, “are you serious” the look he gives you tells you he is, “why don’t I just make dinner again…six good for you two?” Your attention is back in Megumi who’s moved to play with your jewelry as he snuggles your other arm.

Toji nods almost hypnotically, you peer down at your watch noticing the time you frantically peel away from megumi soothing him lightly before you’re back down another isle with the promise of seeing them later tonight.

Of course when Toji and Megumi turn up on your porch at six exactly you smile softly letting them in.

“Oh I got Megumi something!” Toji cringes he knows Megumi is already quite attached to you and he’s a little afraid that you’re going to break both their hearts.

He’d never felt this way about anyone except Megumi s mom’s mother and it had taken quite a long time for him to accept the fact that it was ok to do that.

“I say it on my way home in the shops.” It’s the cutest little plushy Toji has ever seen and Megumi lets out a little squeal around his pacifier as he holds it close to himself. It’s a soft little black cat plushy, it’s a little floppy and it doesn’t hold its full figure almost like it’s broken in already and Megumi loves it, it’s the highlight of his day.

From than on the tiny gifts and dinners together become a ritual even when you do order in Megumi and Toji are there.

Almost a whole year into the dinners and hangouts, Megumi has started to babble about a little sister. You’re certainly shocked because Megumi has never mentioned wanting a baby sister before and you and Toni never mentioned it and you’re certain the school didn’t mention it. Turns out he’d seen it on the tv.

“I be a big brother!” He’d prance around the living room holding the cat plushy under his arm as he told you he wanted a baby sister.

That’s when Toji sat you down.

After more than a half hour of Taji trying to tell Megumi that no you were not pregnant which meant Megumi was not going to have a baby sister anytime soon, Toji caved. His son really wanted a sister and it couldn’t hurt to ask you if you’d be willing could it?

It did not hurt because apparently you reciprocated every ounce of feelings Toji had, a miracle honestly.

Of course than came the part about Megumi wanting a little sister. After he’d told you about how long Megumi had been talking about a baby sister you were on bored.

By Christmas you’d been pregnant and telling Megumi was a headache and a half, poor baby when you told him you were going to have a baby he’d lifted the lid to the present box searching for the baby.

Toji’s arm swung around your shoulder, you could feel his laugh reverberate throughout your body as you placed your hands on your belly, “she’s in here Megumi” his brows furrow.

“Mama” he looks up at you and your eyes water, Toji catches on a second later leaning foreward to glance at your watery eyes and to Megumi.

Toji knew that Megumi knew who his Mommy was but his son had never called her Mama…

MILF

Satoru Gojo x reader, Megumi Fushiguro x reader(platonic), 

Summary- “Fushiguro, you didn’t tell me your mom is a total milf.”

Warnings- Yuji being a teenage boy Megumi is a mommas boy

Wc- 900+

-

Ever since Yuji heard the man he would come to know as Satoru Gojo said the words to Fushiguro at the school.

“I got an earful from the higher-ups ‘cause the special grade cursed object’s still missing, then your mother found out and I got an earful from her.” 

Then when he was tied up Gojo kept mentioning his wife and how she helped him suspend his execution for the time being. 

Yuji was even more interested in this woman who was Fushiguros mom and Satoru Gojo’s wife. I mean that would mean Fushiguro is Gojo’s son but he looks nothing like Gojo(besides maybe the hairstyle) and he doesn’t call him Dad. Hmm, maybe he looked more like his mom? 

He walked onto the school grounds with Satoru next to him. Sukuna made an appearance on his cheek then his hand. But as Satoru explained Sukuna, Yuji’s eyes landed on a woman at the top of the stairs. She was talking on the phone and staring at her nails. She wore dark expensive-looking sunglasses, a pair of jeans, sandals, and a tank top. He could also tell she was foreign.

“WIFEY!” Satoru yelled out beside him and ran towards the woman. The woman hung up her phone and opened her arms out for Satoru. He spun her around in the air and then smashed their lips together. He placed her on the ground and she pushed against his chest gently to pull away. “What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t going to be back for another day.” 

She scoffed and crossed her arms and Yuji watched the sorcerer in front of her pout.

“My son got sent on a mission to retrieve the finger of Ryomen Sukuna and got badly hurt in the process. Of course, I had to come.”

So this is his mom. She looks nothing like him either but I gotta say, she is one hot piece-

“So this is Sukunas vessel?” They had turned their attention to him and Yuji was staring directly at Gojo’s wife.

“Before we start talking, Yuji, this is my wife Y/n L/n. She's a special-grade sorcerer just like me!”

Whatever that means, nobody’s explained this grading stuff to me yet

“Yuji Itadori. A pleasure to meet you.” She gave him a bow and he did the same back. “How do you feel?” Her face softened and she took two steps down to inspect him. 

“Um fine, I guess, considering everything.” 

“Good, good. And you can control Sukuna at will?” 

“Mhmm.” 

She’s so hot

“I'm flattered Itadori.” She says with amusement and the boy looks at her horrified.

“Huh!?” He blushed heavily and shook his head. “I'm so sorry! Wait, how did you know that!?” 

“Oh yeah, Y/n’s technique is telepathy. So my girl can read your mind, control your mind, mess with your mind, and destroy it.” He said and kissed her cheek. 

“Cool! Sorry about that though.” He scratched the back of his head and laughed awkwardly. 

“It's okay, Itadori.” Yuji’s blush hadn’t gone away and just burnt harder. “Well I'm going to go check on Megumi, I’ll see you two later.” Both guys watched her go. 

“Whoah,” Yuji says and Satoru nods.

“I know right.”

-

“Megumi?” You knocked on his door and received no answer. You opened the door and saw him curled up in deep sleep. You smiled softly and approached his bed. You leaned over him and kissed his cheek, making him twitch but he relaxed. You sat in the chair in the corner and brought your feet up. 

Megumi slept for another solid 10 minutes before waking up. You set your phone down and smiled.

“Hey Gumi, how are you feeling?” You sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed his shoulder.

“Mom, what are you doing here?” He asks, sounding extremely tired. 

“I had to come check on you.” 

“Mmph.” He sat up and groaned. 

“You should keep resting.”

“My head hurts.” 

“All the more reason to.”

The loud voices of Yuji and Satoru cut you off. Megumi's face hardened and he threw the sheets off his body. He opened the door and at the same time, Yuji and Satoru walked out of Yuji's new room. 

“You’re next door?” 

“Hey, Fushiguro!” You slipped past Megumi and walked to stand by Satoru. “Wow. You look all better now!”

“There are lots of other rooms, you know?” Megumi says with a scowl.

“Don’t be like that Gumi’, this can be good for you.” You say trying to convince him but he crosses his arms. Yuji walked up to Megumi and leaned towards him.

“Fushiguro, you didn’t tell me your mom is a total milf.” Yuji whispers to him. Megumi's eyes widened and left eye twitched.

“Huh!? Wh-Why would you say something like that!” Megumi whacked Yuji on the back. 

“Ow! I mean it's true, and that ass though. She could put Jennifer Lawernce to shame.” 

“STOP IT!” 

“Boys, everything okay?” 

“Yes, Mrs. Gojo!” Itadori says with a bright smile. While Megumi looked like he was going to blow a fuse. You look at them in confusion but turn back to Satoru. 

“That's my mom Itadori.”

“Hey, Mrs. Gojo. Are you a teacher here?” Yuji asks you and you shake your head. 

“No, but I'll be sticking around.” 

“Great!” Yuji thumbs up’s you. 

“Hmph.” Megumi grunts and glares. 

Sorry J Law but my type is Fushiguros mom now

-

More on the reader technique by risingblackstar 

Fully masked Invincible is the sweetest variant you've met. Sure, he's killed people, but everyone makes mistakes, and the way he says, ' I'm sorry for every little thing,' is a lot cuter in your books. A true textbook bottom cutie, but he argues he can top for real if given a chance.

he saves you from the civilian casualties that one of the other variants created. he bridal style carries you through the clouds and profusely apologizes when you're shaking in his arms from being too cold and being held so tight in his arms. he even apologizes for not even being your mark grayson, you're not his but he can't help but touch you like you really are his.

when the two of you are settled on the city's outskirts, and safe from the death and screams. he cups your face in his gloved hands, staring at you from his goggles. he's missed you. he's missed the two most important women in his life. he just needs to get his mom now and take all three of you home. his body is ragged and high-strung under the pads of your fingers, and he halfway chokes on a sob when you don't hold any malice in your pretty gaze when you look at him.

he's always been such a tender lover, sweet on the lips and heavenly in the bedroom; a true fallen angel that never chose a side on the day of reckoning in heaven.

the third time he apologizes is for the way he kisses you when he tugs the mask halfway over his nose and smashes your mouths together just because he can't stand the silence between you two. he tastes like desperation and yearning. Perhaps the tiniest bit of sin when his teeth latch on your bottom lip and suck it into his mouth so he can hear you sigh openly.

However, you don't mind. his sorries escalate from his half-chubbed boner rubbing against your hip to saying sorry for how you writhe and tense on soft patchy grass when his thick dick stretches you out in ways that feel like you're being torn in two. He isn't sorry for cumming too quickly, because he makes up for it in his pussy eating skills later on.

hear me out, what if odysseus and penelope instead of getting married of love they did it because it was their duty and they trusted each other as friends, they made an heir, telemachus, and that was it. of course they loved each other but not in a romantic way.

when the war starts one of the soldiers going with him is yn, a childhood friend who he still loves but never told her.

what would happen with their friendship/growing relationship? across the years.

I believe that after 'monster' he would become really overprotective of yn, and in 'love in paradise' he would ascend into another level of codependency with her.

YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

WARNINGS: FLUFF, NEEDINESS, ALMOST UNHEALTHY CODEPENDENCY ON BOTH PARTS, LIGHT ALLUSION TO SMUT,

Mine, all mine.

Y/n pov

~Morning, sleepyhead You've been resting for a while I swore that you were dead When you washed up on my isle Did you know you talk in your sleep? Tell me, though, who's she?~

"She's y/n, she's my... she's mine."

My eyes fluttered open, and I coughed up bit of seawater.

"Odysseus..." I mumbled softly. Immediately, he was by my side, pulling me into his side. I poked my head over his shoulder and found a jealous looking woman who came over and grabbed Odysseus, pulling him away.

~Anyways, I've got all you could want here All you could need here Just you and me, my dear, my love for life Soon, into bed we'll climb and spend our time~

"I'm not your man." Ody shook her off and started walking back to me.

~I'm what you want here I'm what you need here Just you and me, my love in paradise Now 'til the end of time From here on out, you're mine, all mine~ She purred swinging in front of him, blocking me out as she practically drapped herself over him. My captain shoved her off in a fury.

"Hell no, I could kill you where you stand

I'm no pet, I'm a taken man!"

~Oh handsome, you may try But last I checked, goddesses can't die.~

"I don't care! I can try! I don't want you, I want her!" Odysseus growled, grabbing my arm and practically dragging me off to a more secluded part of the island.

After everything that had happened, it was no surprise that Odysseus clung to the last reminder of home, but he certainly went through hell and back to make sure it was me, even sacrificing Eurylochus, his brother-in-law, to keep me. He had always been protective of me, but after the Underworld, he had changed, ruthless, cruel, but not with me, never with me. I, on he other hand, had been dependant on him since we were children. My father was the young prince's teacher and had allowed me to sit in on some of the lessons. we'd been inseparable ever since, but neither of us had realized just how deep that bond went until after we went to war. Since then, it had gotten worse... better... I wasn't sure. But we spent every night together, some nights it was just to hold each other, other nights we needed more, more intimacy, more physical comfort... more.

So here, on this island, with a desperate goddess, his neediness increased tenfold. As soon as we were out of sight, Odysseus buried his face against my neck, holding me against his chest with a strength that no mortal should possess.

"Ody..." I whisper, carding my fingers through his hair. He nudged against the crook of my neck.

"We're gonna get off this island." He purred, kissing my shoulder. I nodded. "And in the meantime... you're all I need. Mine, all mine."

A silly ask and I'm kinda surprised no one has done this yet and I like your writing so I'm sending it to you but basically fem reader and toji on an episode on maury :3

WHO’S YOUR DADDY? — toji fushiguro

pairing: toji fushiguro x fem!reader

a/n: the way this has sat in the drafts for well over a year, loved writing this btw, thanks anon!

it’s no secret that toji has his doubts about whether megumi is his.

but you’re officially over going back and forth with him. especially when he still owes you child support that he refuses to pay until you show him valid proof that megumi is his son.

and what better way to give him that confirmation that he desires than on the messiest show on daytime television, in front of a live studio audience.

“for those who have joined us after the break, today we are joined by y/n, who claims that her ex boyfriend toji is pretending to act like he isn’t the father to their two year old son megumi so he doesn’t have to pay child support.”

the camera pans to you and toji sat a few feet away from each other. you can tell that he thinks this whole thing is a joke from the way he’s slouching in the chair and the constant sarcastic replies he gives maury each time he’s asked a simple question.

“maury how do i know she’s not tryna hustle me outta my hard earned money, huh?” he asks, seemingly thinking that he’s caught you in a tight spot. “besides have you seen the kid? his hair is spiky as fuck, nobody in my family has that hair type.”

the laugh that threatens to leave your lips is almost sickening, using hair as reason to not claim his child was absurd.

it was almost as wild as trying to accuse you of being a good-for-nothing money hungry vulture. which was rich coming from him. considering that your job was practically funding his lifestyle, aside from the large dose of cash he received from his 'work trips’ that cropped up once in a while.

the cash did nothing for you as he spent it as fast as he received it. rather than putting it towards megumi’s trust fund or college fund, he squandered it all on drinking and gambling, especially when it came to the races.

it turns out his charming looks and smiles do not work on the biggest gamble of all time: betting on damn race horses.

but in the rare instance he had some had some heart he contributed towards the bills and groceries. yet that still wasn’t enough.

“when was the last time you paid for megumi’s diapers or his formula or anything related to the apartment, hm?”

you retort, revelling at how all the fight and bravado he once held was slowly seeping out of him, as if he had all of his blood sucked out of him. the host looks expectantly at toji, awaiting a response.

the audience sets off in a chorus of ‘boos’ before toji even has a chance to respond to clear his name. he feels ambushed, the humiliation of admitting to be a terrible father on television creeping up on him.

but what did he expect? he always pushed too hard and now he’s paying the price as you unsurprisingly pushed back even harder.

and of course in the sea of 'boos', there’s a few cheers in the crowd from people who are more interested in getting into his pants instead of the main reason to why you were here in the first place.

“oh and maury if you think i’m lying, i’ve got invoices, bank statements and receipts spanning the last three months.” you add “i can tell you for a fact that this man doesn’t spend a dime on anything—he might as well put on a diaper and sleep in our son's crib.”

"and so what?" toji shrugs, ever so nonchalant. to the degree it pisses you off, he could at least try to act like he cares in front of the camera and the audience.

“i still make it up to you though, don’t i?” he replies, a teasing edge to his tone that has implications that you don’t want to unpack on national television, which was ironic since your business was already out there anyway.

the look on your face is almost murderous, and luckily maury manages to pick up on before this turns into a bloodbath. he quickly perks up as he holds up the manilla envelope that was going to make or break your day.

“In here we have the results of the paternity test, come back after the break!” he says clasping his hand together as you head to the commercial break. immediately you head backstage, grabbing megumi from the staff member who seemed smitten with him.

he latched onto you as you doted on him, before he waddled off to play with his firetrucks that you brought with you in your bag. “he’s getting so big.” a familiar voice says and you turn to see him in the doorway.

“megumi look! daddy’s come back with his tail between his legs because he knows he’s about to be publicly embarrassed on tv!” you say in a mocking voice, pointing out to where toji is standing and he toddles over, smacking his arm as he adorably glowers at his dad.

“bad daddy!” he says and you stop him before he gets out of control and starts to barrel toji with his kicking and slapping. you pull megumi onto your lap trying to calm him down whilst biting back a laugh.

“we don’t hit megumi, unless people deserve it like your daddy.” you tell him softly but you doubt he’s retained any of what you said anyway.

megumi is nestled into your lap, his focus back onto the firetruck that he’s playing with. for his age the kid is incredibly perceptive to the point where it spooks you out.

and if toji feels more like an idiot now, he doesn’t say so.

—

“and we’re back! for those who have just joined us, y/n claims that her ex boyfriend is denying that he’s the father of their child to avoid child support payments.”

the clips of the past half hour play back as you sit down, the manilla envelope in your eye level making your heart race slightly. deep down you knew that he was the father so why was the anticipation making you doubt that?

the crowds cheering and whooping comes to a close once maury grabs hold of the manilla envelope, he opens it, dragging out the grand reveal for dramatic purposes as the suspense builds in the room.

“when it comes to two year old megumi fushiguro, toji… you are the father!” he announces setting off the crowd in a series of cheers. you look over at toji and notice the red flush that covers his neck and ears, a sure tell sign of embarrassment and guilt.

“all i gotta say is that i fucking told you so, hell i didn’t even have to say anything you should’ve known!” you said to him, as he did nothing but take the well deserved lecture from you.

toji felt really fucking stupid, like really stupid but he didn’t want to add to your tirade already, he already wanted to melt of pure embarrassment under the hot studio lights. he really underestimated the lengths you’d go to prove him wrong.

“it’s time to start scrimping and saving, old man. food, clothes and diapers aint cheap. I’m sure your poor race horses will understand right?” you said teasingly, biting back a laugh as you clapped his shoulder.

toji let out an annoyed huff as the sound of your laughter ricocheted in his head, the high from your victory lap still present. he couldn’t be more of a fool if he tried. “haha very funny.” he said drily, despite his head burning, now he owed you and shiu money over his stupid antics.

he knew that as long as the internet and tv were still around, he was never going to live this day down, knowing you’d use this moment to embarrass him and deservedly so.

“i’ve been your host, maury! come back tomorrow where we have suguru and satoru. two former best friends and alleged lovers with satoru claiming that suguru’s affair with the kfc worker ruined their relationship!”

can i request babykuna when she was still a lil babyyy, like 6 months and up?

let’s travel back in time back to the peak of babykuna’s reign as a tiny, drooling dictator.

back when sukuna was a new dad.

and yes—of course, he was the type to be found in the kitchen, rolling up the sleeves of his custom-made linen shirt, a baby strapped to his chest as he whipped up a batch of cookies for you. because even as a feared businessman, sukuna is still your man, and that means making sure you get your damn freshly baked cookies. but babykuna? she doesn’t care about any of that. she just wants to chew on something. 

so naturally, she chooses to drool all over his shirt. like, so much drool, it's actually impressive. sukuna glanced down at her, unimpressed. “you done?” babykuna smacked her tiny hand against his chest and slobbered more onto the fabric. 

“figured.” he didn’t even bother wiping it off, just kept stirring the cookie batter like it wasn’t even happening.

but bedtime? bedtime is when sukuna’s entire personality softens. babykuna is snuggled between the two of you, looking so small in the middle of the giant bed, her tiny fingers curled into the fabric of sukuna’s shirt. and sukuna? he watches her with the softest expression, rubbing slow circles against your hip and back because he knows you're exhausted.

but it doesn’t stop him from taking business calls while rocking her to sleep.

“if you pull that shit again, i’ll ruin your entire reputatio—”

a tiny sniffle cut through the tension.

“—n,” sukuna continued, unfazed, “and you’ll never recover.”

the poor bastard on the other end of the call was silent for a long moment before stammering, “are… are you holding a baby?” sukuna narrowed his eyes. “focus on your problems, not mine.”

but the real challenge? getting babykuna to say ‘papa’. because, listen—he’s worked hard for this title. and he wants to hear it. every single day, without fail, he leaned down to her and grinned. “say papa. paaaapa.”

babykuna stared at him.

“c’mon, princess. you can do it.”

she opened her mouth. sukuna leaned in closer, expectant. and then she burped.

sukuna blinked, then slowly leaned back.

“…okay, that was actually impressive.”

babykuna giggled like she just dropped the sickest punchline of her life. you, watching from the side, smirked. “well, she kinda said something.”

“don’t patronize me.”