☆ Gojo Satoru X Gender-neutral!reader ⇢ Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship.

At the Emperor’s Word -Viktor x Reader x Jayce

Summary: Sneaking around the academy after hours sounds like a good idea right up until you get caught; then, it becomes a great idea.

Pairing: Dom!Viktor x Sub!Reader x Switch! Jayce

Word Count: 6K

Warning: Explicit (PwP)

Tags: Threesome, Kissing, Handjob, Voyeurism, Obedience Kink, Praise Kink, Slight Cuckolding, Edging, Degradation, Dom/Sub Dynamics, Masturbation, Voice Kink, Vaginal Fingering, Lap Sex, Light Punishment Kink, Big Dick Viktor, Pet Names, Begging, Slight Choking, Vaginal Sex, Teasing, Rough Sex

Notes: A little fashionably late, but here is my absolutely filthy piece in celebration of Viktor’s birthday 🎉!! Viktor, my dearest, thank you for being my beloved husband and the devoted father of our many children. Glorious ovulation everyone ✌️💕.

You try to stifle a chuckle.

“Jayce, we can't-”

He's warm, so warm. You always feel yourself melt under his touch.

“C'mon, just a minute…” he insists.

You can't help but giggle breathlessly as he brings your hand into his pants, a large hand wrapping your fingers around his already half-hard cock. His body presses yours against the workbench, the firm wood digging into your lower back. His other hand slides against the fabric of your skirt, cushioning the strain, and not so subtly placing his palm over your ass.

He nuzzles his face against the top of your head, letting out a pleased groan when your fist starts moving. You suppress another laugh, trying your best to remain quiet, but you're positively enamoured of those sounds he makes when you touch him. Without even seeing his face, you know the content smile hasn't left his lips; he's so easy to please.

He's twitching under your grip, gripping your cheeks to the rhythm of the strokes. You quicken the pace, and he lets out a low moan that echoes through the empty lab.

This wing of the academy is always empty at this time of night, but there's something exciting about having to stay quiet. You can feel how close he's getting, the slight rutting of his hips a now familiar sign. His breath hitches, he's almost there, just a little more-

“I hope I am not interrupting anything.”

You yelp in surprise, pulling out your hand from Jayce's pants so fast your arm hits the wooden desk behind you. Jayce lets out a confused, frustrated shout at the sudden loss of friction as you wince in pain.

There, at the entrance of the lab, stands a looming figure, holding one of the large doors partially open. The light from the corridor obscures his face from the darkness of the lab; but there is no mistaking who this silhouette belongs to.

Viktor makes a single step forward, the metallic sound of his crutch against the tiled floor making you wince, as he lets the door close behind him. The room falls into obscurity again, the pale glow of the moon and the distant city lights only faintly shining through the windows.

“Ah, Viktor!” Jayce almost bellows in an overly cheery tone, walking backwards to put some distance between the two of you. “I- We were waiting for you! Got a bunch of interesting notes about today's experiments to show you !”

Viktor's face is blank, his eyebrows slightly furrowed in cold annoyance. He is neither amused nor does he seem the believe Jayce's jovial act. He nods curtly at the other man's pants, which are obviously, painfully unbuttoned. Jayce cringes as he quickly stumbles to reattach them, sliding the buttons in the wrong slits. You're frozen in place, eyes wide in fear, incapable of looking away from Viktor's frigid expression. But his focus is not on you; it's on Jayce.

“So,” he starts loudly, not bothering with whispers, “You barely spend any time working in the lab anymore. You have not even checked any of the upgrades I have suggested for the hexgates in the last month.” His voice is apathetic and dry, and his eyes narrow when he says the next words:

“And this is what you've been up to?”

Jayce opens his mouth like he's ready to argue, but the glare from his work partner seems to change his mind. He lowers his head silently, like a puppy being scolded. Viktor's golden pupils slide to you, and you now understand exactly why Jayce prefers looking at the floor.

“From Jayce I could expect,” Viktor remarks, the weight of his stare making you shrink, “but from you? I'll admit I'm disappointed.”

You bow your head in embarrassment. Your cheeks are burning, and you know there's no way to pretend like this is only a misunderstanding. You wish you could vanish on the spot.

Jayce, always the hero, comes to your defence quickly: “Viktor, it wasn't her idea-”

“I'm so sorry sir,” you interrupt him, stepping forward. You know Viktor well enough to recognize he's not a fan of poor excuses or avoiding accountability. “I swear this internship means the world to me. I know how many other students dream of working on hextech. It won't ever happen again.”

He seems pleased by your answer, although his expression stays perfectly stoic.

“That's good to hear,” he hums, walking closer to the both of you. He stops a few feet away, a ray of moonlight passing through a coloured beaker catching in his auburn hair. It illuminates him in an eerie, reddish glow, like he's not quite human, almost a phantom. “Well then, do not let me stop the both of you. Keep going, as you were.”

You have to assume he's joking, even if his tone sounds anything but, and you let out a confused, nervous giggle. But he isn't laughing, and neither is Jayce.

“Viktor…” there's uncertainty in the taller man's voice. It's not fear, or alarm, but he's apprehensive about something.

Viktor lets out a small sigh of lassitude, discontent evident. He looks at you again, with these amber eyes that make you feel like the world around you vanishes. Like there's nothing but him, and the words about to leave his lips.

“It would appear my partner is suddenly hard of hearing. Were my instructions unclear to you as well?”

You swallow. Your lips feel dry. Jayce is still unmoving next to you, still as a board, watching your interaction with his lab partner with an uneasy look.

“…No sir,” you mutter, just loudly enough for both men to hear. Viktor gives you the shadow of a smile.

“C'mon Viktor, you've humiliated her enough,” Jayce argues softly, raising his hand in a gesture of peace. But the other man has clearly decided Jayce hasn't gained his favour for the night, barely sparing him an icy glare.

“I do not believe I was talking to you,” he states matter-of-factly. The man of progress makes a strangled sound of protest, clearly insulted, but Viktor seems to have all but forgotten about him, now. It's back to only you and him, and the teasing smile dancing on his lips.

“He's always like this. Begging for attention,” Viktor tells you in a tone of confidence, like the topic of the conversation isn't standing less than a foot away from you with a baffled look on his face. “One has to wonder if he is compensating for something, but I figure you are in a good position to tell, right?”

You can’t prevent the corners of your mouth from lifting at the underhanded jab; Viktor seems emboldened by your reaction, voice louder when he continues:

“I certainly hope he's been more of a gentleman to you than this. Or does he only bend you over in our lab like an animal?”

The comment is enough to pull Jayce out of his stupor, and he raises his arms in protest.

“Hey, I'm not that-” he starts heatedly.

“Jayce.”

It's just his name; nothing else. You've said it to him hundreds of times. But there's something different in the way Viktor says it, the slow pronunciation of the syllables, the hardness of the accent, the deepness of the voice. Whatever it is, Jayce is compelled by it just as much as an order. He stops right in his tracks, his arms falling uselessly back to his side, like a dog listening to a command.

Viktor hums in approval, but his stare is no less punishing.

“I was not talking to you. When it is your turn to speak, you will know.”

Jayce's mouth is slightly agape, his eyes wide, an expression you can't quite read on his face; but he obeys. He stands there like a puppet, unmoving, drinking Viktor's words. You can't help but notice the still present strain in his badly buttoned pants.

The thinner man's gaze softens once more as it falls on you. He makes another step forward; close enough that you could reach him with your hand if you tried. He looks at you encouragingly: “Answer the question, sweet thing.”

The room feels like it's shrunk to barely a tenth of its size. Your breath has become shallow without you noticing. But isn't quite from fear anymore.

“T-twice in the lab before,” you stutter, the embarrassment of recounting your adventures to your direct supervisor burning your cheeks. The arousal in the air is undeniable now, and he's visibly aware of it. “And in the library. Once in my bedroom.”

Viktor hums pensively, studying your answer. It almost feels like you're passing some kind of final exam; the world's most sexually charged exam, undoubtedly.

“So he is aware of the basic notion of privacy behind closed doors, then,” Viktor concludes, the thin smirk now fully on display. “Who would have thought.”

He doesn't look away from your eyes when he finally speaks to the other man again.

“Jayce. How close are you?”

You glance at the taller engineer; he's started palming himself through his pants, his breathing irregular. His hair is dishevelled from your previous activities, and his cheeks are a bright crimson against his caramel skin. He's usually so dominating, on top of things, handling you like a chiffon doll up and down his dick with that cocky smile of his. You've never seen him like this; flustered, desperate, seeming so small despite all of his stature.

“Pretty close,” Jayce almost moans out, voice raspy for exertion. He's biting his own bottom lip so tightly it might start bleeding. “Just a little more.”

Viktor finally gives him a slight smile, though it's dripping with self-satisfaction. He's close enough to you that you can smell him now, that you could brush away the wayward strands of hair on his forehead. His face has been marked by the passage of time and countless hours of work, heavy bags under his eyes, cheeks almost gaudy. And yet, there is no sign of him ever losing control of this moment. Nothing could change the hypnotic power of his eyes, the controlling tone of his voice, or the subjugating effect of his slightly crooked smile.

“I suppose we should oblige,” he suggests lightly, his free hand brushing your cheek. His fingers are thin and lithe, cold against your skin, and you lean into the touch. He gives you a moment to pull away, if you want to; but you don't.

The kiss is slow at first, gentle, just the way little girls dream their prince charming might one day give them. He lets you decide when to pick up the speed, and you initiate after a few seconds by slipping your tongue in his mouth. It's messier, now, teeth clashing every now and then, saliva pooling where your lips meet. He tastes nothing like Jayce, his flavour of dark coffee and fresh mint; Viktor is sweet, like milk and honey, like a slice of lemon cake in the summer heat.

When he pulls away for air, you feel like time has started to move once again, as if you've just emerged from a dream. He's smirking confidently, still, but not entirely unfazed; his pale cheeks have turned pink, his breathing is slightly laboured, and there are traces of smudged saliva on the corners of his mouth.

A foreign whine makes you both turn towards Jayce, who is clearly on the edge of orgasm. He's abandoned any pretence of innocence, his cock fully pulled out of his pants as he rubs it furiously, eyes locked on the two of you.

“Stop,” Viktor only says.

Jayce groans in frantic frustration, slowing his rhythm but incapable of removing his hand. He's harder than you've ever seen him, his tip almost a painful red.

“No, no, c'mon V, don't do this. Please keep going,” he begs, looking at you with pitiful eyes, pleading silently. You want to touch him, to let him touch himself. But you know it's not your decision; it's Viktor's. And he's made his ruling, so you're not about to get on your research director's bad side again.

The head engineer offers a proud smile at your lack of answer to Jayce, the kind he usually reserves for reports submitted in advance or ingenious schematics. You recognize him more like this, strict, but never unappreciative of your efforts. He never forgets to slip a word of encouragement when you're stuck, never hesitates to reread your notes with you when the math isn't quite adding up. The cold anger seems to have fully passed, and now only the teasing, taunting satisfaction remains.

“I believe you may have forgotten that as per her contract, she is my assistant. Meaning she is under my direct command.”

He's looking at Jayce now, whose hand is still wrapped around his length, but unmoving. His cock is twitching in his grasp, desperate as the rest of him. His whole body shifts to the rhythm of his respiration, large shoulders slumped in defeat. Viktor doesn't turn to you when he asks you the following question, choosing instead to stare deeply into Jayce's citrine eyes.

“Is that not correct?”

You don't hesitate with your answer this time.

“Yes sir.”

His focus is still on the other man, but he strokes your cheek again with his left hand. He rests his weight comfortably on his crutch, like he doesn't have a single worry in the world in this moment.

“Good girl.”

You feel yourself tighten at that. That voice could tell you to find a way to harness the power of the goddamn stars before figuring out the hexcore, and you would comply.

“Jayce, could you bring the chair over here? The larger one.”

Viktor points with his chin towards a wooden chair with a flat backing, in a corner of the lab. Jayce looks back and forth between the chair and his partner, like he's unsure if he's joking or testing him. When no additional directions come from Viktor, he sighs in discomfort, clearly disgruntled, unceremoniously shoving himself back in his pants to go fetch the chair. The thinner man hums in appreciation when he brings it back and places it next to him.

“Thank you, Jayce.”

He sits, using his crutch for balance as he shifts slightly to find a comfortable position. His hand leaves the burgundy handgrip, instead settling on the metallic upper section. He looks like the king of a forgotten kingdom, resting on his wooden throne, sceptre in hand. You and Jayce, his obedient consorts, can't do anything but await his next command.

It comes in the form of a simple motion of his hand, beckoning you closer. You only stop when your legs bump against his, standing above him. His fingers caress the fabric of your skirt studyingly, like he's committing the feel to memory. They eventually catch on the waistband, tugging it questioningly. His golden eyes look up at you, the colour of the sunrise etched in his pupils. You nod earnestly in approval, and he lowers the skirt down until it reaches your knees, letting it fall to the floor. You're suddenly very thankful you dressed up this morning knowing you would see Jayce.

The design is simple, a line of flowery lace hugging your hips, and curving to the shape of your ass. It's the kind of thing Jayce loves; he'll even make you keep your panties on sometimes as he fucks you, just pushing the bottom of the fabric to the side to fit himself inside you. It's the lace he can’t resist, you think, the way it barely covers anything and rests against your skin like a present for him to unwrap.

It doesn’t seem to have the same effect on Viktor, but you can tell he’s still appreciative, cold hand sneaking under the lace to squeeze a cheek firmly.

“This is fucking torture,” Jayce groans in complaint, standing still just barely a few feet away. He's obviously aware he's not supposed to interfere with the two of you, or to touch himself for relief, but the glistening sweat on his forehead and down the prominent vein on his neck indicates how difficult this is for him.

“And you should know better than to have sex next to a table covered in explosive materials and one-of-a-kind prototypes,” Viktor retorts, sparing him a slightly displeased glance. “What if you had broken something irreplaceable?”

Jayce seems genuinely embarrassed by that; he may not show it as often these days with how busy he is, but you know he still cares about the academy's research and the state of hextech.

“I'm sorry Viktor. I wasn't thinking…”

“I am aware you were not thinking. And that is exactly the issue. You forget how much of our profession relies on thinking, not talking.”

It's crystal clear that's going to be the end of the conversation, for now. Viktor's fingers slide to your hip, following the shape of the panties until your inner thigh. A small tap with a single digit tells him everything he needs to know.

“Look at this,” he smiles, taunting but affectionate, “Already so wet just from a kiss. Or was it the sound of my voice that did it, I wonder.”

Both, it's both, and every single thing that has happened in this lab since he entered it. You tremble when his finger moves slowly against the damp fabric, not quite oversensitive, but a little on edge.

“I, um-” Jayce hesitantly speaks up from the side. “I fingered her a bit earlier. I… think she should be alright?”

This time, Viktor doesn't reprimand him for talking; he seems surprisingly pleased, eyes boring into yours for confirmation.

“Is that so?” he exhales softly.

You nod breathlessly. Why is it always so difficult to talk when he's studying you like this?

The teasing finger slips under the fabric, gently making its way into you. You let out an involuntary sound of eagerness as he verifies if you've been loosened up, analyzing you with the precision of a machine. He removes the digit with a crooked grin when he judges you've passed, and you whine at the loss; it was barely anything in the first place, but it soothed the feeling of total emptiness in your core.

“Color me impressed,” Viktor declares, half genuine, half mocking. “I do not think I have ever seen Jayce do his work in advance.”

Said man groans in defeated complaint:

“You're turning her against me.”

Viktor lets out a wry snort:

“You do that well enough on your own. You touched her without even making her cum?”

He pats your pussy comfortingly, and you almost sing to the feeling. Your panties get lowered swiftly, and you discard them with little decorum. Viktor's assertive expression has softened enough that you feel emboldened enough to try to join in the banter:

“Jayce thinks foreplay is watching him get undressed. He's not exactly an expert.”

Viktor laughs at that, a charming and genuine sound, and you feel yourself glow with pride. The topic of mockery doesn't seem as pleased, his cheeks red, his lips thin:

“See? Told you. You've already worked your fucking magic on her.”

Viktor starts unbuttoning his pants, the teasing smile still etched on his angular features. His fingers work nimbly, swiftly, with the precision only the best engineer in Runeterra could muster in such circumstances.

“It is not magic, Jayce. Simply talent and practice.”

He does quick work of lowering his pants, just enough to expose his underwear. The confirmation that he is indeed not as unbothered as he still may seem is poking through the fabric. Judging by the defined outline and the sizeable tent, you can instantly confirm a hypothesis you've had since the start of your internship: the Assistant to the Dean of the Academy is packing.

He's not unaware of it either; his golden eyes follow the movement of your own, playfully examining your reaction. It's different from Jayce's endearing ego and constant need for praise; Viktor knows his worth, but he revels in the admiration, the stares filled with awe and devotion.

If Jayce needs to feel worthy, then Viktor needs to feel wanted.

He finally frees his cock from the restrive fabric, letting the member bob slightly. He's not even fully hard, and he's huge, the length imposing, the bulbous tip a pleasant shade of pink. The skin is as pale as the rest of him, blueish veins marking it like porcelain; only a few well-trimmed auburn curls at the base remind you he's not sculpted from actual marble.

Jayce lets out a low, tentatively playful whistle as the other man’s slender fingers wrap around the shaft.

“Flattery will not get you far, Jayce,” Viktor comments absentmindedly. “You and I both know this is nothing you have not seen before.”

He moves his hand in an open, loose fist, evidently without any real intent to finish himself off; not with the way he's made you stand right above him, not with how he's looking right at you. You swallow with difficulty, licking your lips for moisture. The energy between the two of you is tangible, electric, as he keeps working himself tantalizingly slow.

“Darling. Sweet thing. Do you want this?”

You nod vigorously, the words stuck in your throat again.

“Tell me, then. Please. Tell me how much you want this,” he requests, and it's hard to tell whether that's an order or a plea with the way his voice lowers, just barely louder than a whisper.

You feel like you're high, your mind a jumbled mess of adrenaline and lust. There are no sentences that could possibly express how he's got you under his spell. How many times have you imagined a scene like this, in only a year of being his assistant? The stolen glances, the passing touches, you had no reason to believe they were anything more than figments of your lustful imagination. The very idea that he could be the one doubting your interest in him is laughable, and yet his gaze is probing you for a response, his lips parted with bated breath.

“I want this. I want you,” you swear to him, staring back so deeply into the amber irises there could not be a single question left. “Please, sir.”

You bring a hand to the crook of his neck; the coolness of the skin under your palm, the sharpness of his collarbone against your fingertips, the beating of his heart below your thumb. He has to know this is real.

Viktor smiles slightly, the little mole above his lips shifting alongside his dimples.

“I would ask you to be weary of my right leg, then. It is not quite as strong as it used to be, although that is not saying much.”

You've never seen the emotion that crosses Viktor's face in that moment, gone in under a second. It's so subtle one might have missed it; bitterness, regret, defeat. The tragedy of a man brilliant enough to change the whole world, but who wouldn't live long enough to see it. If Janna truly watches over the lost children of Zaun, then she is turning a blind eye to the brightest of them all.

You could say something, try and comfort him, but you choose not to. There's nothing that can be said to change things; there’s only the present, and there are only actions.

You sink down on him slowly, the both of you moaning in unison. You can't help the array of whines escaping your pinched lips. The heat from where your bodies meet is overwhelming, the stretch delightful and filling. He's not fully inside you and you're already wondering how much more you can take. It's dizzying, the pain making you grit your teeth, but you persist, fingers clenching on the back of the chair. When you've fully bottomed out, you let out a shaky breath you hadn't realized you were holding. Viktor soothingly pats your back, and you hang on to him for dear life, wrapping both arms around his back.

“Are you alright?” he whispers softly, worry evident in his voice. You want to answer, but you're quite certain if you open your mouth you'll only get confused gibberish out, because fuck, he's filling you so much it's hard to even think. You shift your grip to his shoulder blades, trying to anchor yourself, absentmindedly noticing the cool feeling of metal under his uniform. You trace the intricate patterns with your fingers to ground yourself, recognizing the shapes of bolts and screws, as you feel your breathing slowly even out

“I’m ok,” you eventually manage to exhale. “I just- need a second“

Viktor makes an understanding hum, his hand caressing the valley of your back like you're doing with his, his strokes mellow. He moves his head slightly to look at Jayce behind you, throwing him an irritated glare.

“So much for your preparations,” he points out with irony.

Without needing to see him, you know exactly the kind of disgruntled face Jayce is making: “She only needs three to fit me, you're just stupid big.”

“I can move,” you interrupt them, the pain now only a vague tingle; all that remains is the yearning for him.

You place both hands on the back of the chair to balance your weight, being careful of Viktor's weaker leg. You bring yourself up slowly, tantalizingly, before letting yourself fall back on his length. There's no other way to describe the broken moan you release than dirty.

“Eh,” Viktor remarks slyly, groaning when you start moving again. “S-she does not seem to think it’s stupid.”

You fuck yourself on him with abandon, fast, rough, not caring of how debauched you may look. If anything, Jayce seems very appreciative if his moans and curses are any indication.

“Fuck, baby,” he pants somewhere behind you, too far to feel his warmth, but close enough to hear he's pumping himself to the same rhythm you're riding Viktor. “You're doing such a good job taking him, princess…”

He's truly begging when he calls the other man's name again, delirious from the unending edging:

“V, please, make her turn to my side, I have to see her face.”

Viktor's hooded eyes bare into yours, his raspy pants echoing through your head as you thrust up and down his length.

“Do you think he is truly sorry, now?” he asks, the ever-teasing glimmer in his pupils shining despite the clear physical effort from his body.

You can't even remember what Jayce has to be sorry for; you whimper a positive ‘huh-uh’. Viktor nuzzles his head in the crook of your neck for a moment, gently bitting the sweaty skin in a surprising hint of possessiveness, but he does finally agree to free Jayce of his torture.

“I will trust your good judgment. You can come here, Jayce.”

You yelp in surprise when two strong but familiar hands suddenly grab you at the waist and turn you around, almost pulling you off Viktor's cock and into a messy kiss. The slight tickle of Jayce's stubble is pleasantly itchy, his tongue desperately searching for more of your taste. You moan wantonly against his mouth when you feel Viktor twitch inside you, but the man under you doesn't seem fully pleased: a thinner but firm hand brings you back against his chest, and he throws Jayce an irritated glare.

“I give you an inch and you take a mile. Typical,” the older man accuses him with a bitter tone, his accent more pronounced, rigid. “You do not get to touch, and you are only allowed to cum on her.”

His lips come to your ear in the ghost of a kiss, velvety smooth:

“Would that be agreeable to you, sweet thing?”

You just know you want to keep going, really; so you do exactly that as a reply.

This position is harder for movement, since without the support of the chair’s back, you would have to rely on putting pressure on Viktor's knees. Thankfully, with Jayce’s proximity, you can use his muscled chest for balance. He certainly doesn't mind being used like this if the expression he’s wearing is any sign: his entire face is crimson, his eyes heavy, laboured breaths escaping his abused lips. He's still following your pace, pumping up and down every time your ass meets Viktor's hip bones. It has to be painful by now, with the way he's been rubbing himself raw for so long without release, but he's either too entranced to care or getting off the burning friction

“So obedient,” Viktor praises you, his free hand moving to your lower stomach, long fingers digging gently into your skin; you wonder if he’s trying to feel himself move inside you. “We might still be able to make a top student out of you. What do you think, Jayce?”

Much like yourself, Jayce seems beyond the capacity for words. He's looking at you like he wants to devour you, like he wants to take you off Viktor's lap and fuck you right on the floor. But you both know he wouldn't do that without Viktor's approval, at the risk of getting on the other man’s bad side again.

Viktor's cock hits a peculiarly sensitive spot inside you and you cry out from the sudden shock, loling out your tongue involuntarily. Jayc makes a strangled sound at the sight, and it visibly takes all his self-control to not shove himself into the warmth of your throat.

“For once, I cannot get you to talk when I actually want you to,” Viktor tsks in disapproval, but it's clear he's not frustrated; rather, he seems to enjoy the trance-like silence Jayce has been reduced to.

“F-fuck, I think this is the hottest thing I've ever seen,” the younger man sputters, delirious, his fist moving with a frenzied pace. “I can see your cock in and out of her every time she bounces like that. Her tits look so good…”

You recognize that slight pitch in his voice, the rumbling in his throat; he's close again.

“What else?” Viktor hums, not letting him have a moment of respite. You can hear ragged gasps next to your ear, parts of heaved curses indicating he too is nearing his end, but he's still firmly insistent on being the one in control of it all.

Jayce whines in struggle, but it's hard to hear with how loud the sound of your own moans echo in the room. You've been using Viktor's cock to hit that one spot over and over, chasing your high without restraint, the familiar clenching of your walls maddening.

“She looks all fucked out. Like she -fuck- like she's so close to cumming around you…”

The other man seems pleased by that if the way you feel him twitch inside you is evidence. “Good observations,” he replies in playful irony. “Perhaps there is still a scientist in there.”

The hand on your stomach leaves its comfortable position to wrap around your neck, the pressure light, just barely restricting airflow.

“Sweet thing,” he calls out to you once more. “You can pick up the pace a little. I want you to never look away from Mr Talis's eyes.”

It's a hard request to fulfill considering how badly you want to squint your eyes shut in the agonizing pleasure; but you try your very best, unshed tears of exhaustion starting to pool and blurying your vision.

The sight of you so desperately trying to obey Viktor's order to focus on nothing but him is what finally undoes Jayce, who lets out one final loud curse:

“Shit-!”

He cums all over your academy blouse with a shout, little droplets reaching as high as your chin. It barely takes three more thrusts against Viktor for you to join him, crying tears of relief as an intense wave of bliss rocks your entire body. With your limbs reduced to nothing but putty, your head falls forward in exhaustion, thankfully stopped by Jayce's strong torso; the fabric of his dress shirt feels like satin against your face, burying your sobs.

Viktor takes a moment longer to reach his peak, fucking into your exhausted body with concentration, thick eyebrows furrowed. It's too much, too rough, and you throw your head back to whine against his neck pitifully. He mutters something unintelligible under his breath before he finally unloads into you with a long groan.

“Shh, good girl,” he compliments you soothingly as his warmth settles into your core, kissing your neck leisurely in praise. “You have done so well.”

He bends your head back slightly more to catch your mouth in an open-mouth kiss, slow and tired, sloppy from your mutual exhaustion. Jayce groans, his hand somehow still on his softened cock, pumping it lazily; his stamina is utterly unbelievable.

“Okay, actually, this might be the hottest thing I've ever seen,” he comments hoarsely, absorbing the way your tongue dances with Viktor's with every inch of his capacities.

Viktor concludes the wet kiss with a small peck on your lips, smiling as your head falls back on his shoulder in fatigue, your eyes shut close.

“Because you managed to get yourself all over her?” he throws back at Jayce, as calm and confident as if he hadn't just made you go through the most intense orgasm of your life. “Your ego will never cease to impress me.”

The stars behind your eyelids are still spinning; you weakly try to move an arm, finding it almost completely unresponsive.

“Sir?” you ask, and you almost don't recognize your voice with how rough and broken it resonates in the empty lab.

“I think we have reached the point where you are allowed to call me by my name in private,” Viktor amusedly hums close to you.

“Viktor, I…”

You want to open your eyes, to look into his golden eyes again and see the way he looks right after sex, but they're sealed shut from how worn out you are. “…I don't think I can move right away.”

That earns you a content chuckle from one man and a disbelieving laugh from the other.

“Jayce,” Viktor asks, now with a tone of request rather than command, “be a gentleman for once and carry her to her bedroom. The poor thing is exhausted.”

Jayce snorts, for once tonight the one hitting back with irony:

“And whose fault is that?”

Viktor’s fingers, still loosely wrapped around your throat as lightly as feathers, slide down to massage the tender muscles at the base of your nape. You moan brokenly into the touch. You couldn't move even if you wanted to.

“Undeniably yours. I am not the one sneaking around in the academy for nefarious purposes,” Viktor retorts playfully, tiredness noticeable but skillfully hidden in his voice. “But if you were to have a bad idea like this once more… I believe I can offer you my services as her supervisor. For both your sakes.”

Eddie Munson Masterlist.

AN: a compilation of my Eddie Munson things! A lot of them will be dad!eddie related probably! I’ll try and arrange them in chronological order, story wise so its kind of like its own series in a way.

Keep reading

Maybe a part 3 of https://at.tumblr.com/honeystwiggypeach/part-2-of/9zdfvbfz08w2 with megumi new baby sister

Ok!! Sorry this took so long but I’ve written it now!!! Tysm for requesting I think this is such a good idea!!!! Like little Megumi holding the cutest little baby girl??

Anywho!! Part one! Part two!

Tw- fem reader, hospital stay for birth, cursing(one use of the word hard ass)let me know if I missed anything!!

Almost a whole year after you began dating Toji, you find yourself sat in the hospital as one of Toji’s friends brings in Megumi.

You watch as Megumi peeks over the edge of the bed, being just a little toddler means that he can’t quite see, bite when Toji appears behind him setting Megumi down beside you he gets a little excited but all it takes is Yoh placing your finger over your lips to calm him down.

Once you and Toji remind Megumi to sit back a bit you gently settle your daughter into his arms.

He looks between you and Megumi when she lets out a little yawn before scrunching up.

“You see?” He asks glancing to you.

“I did honey, she’s cute isn’t she?” You ask and he nods.

“Love you” he whispers before gently kissing her forehead like you do when you tuck him in.

She wiggles a bit before a tiny content smirk works it’s way onto her face.

“Loos she’s smiling” you point out to Megumi who gasps before announcing to her that he’s her big brother, and the usual hardass Toji finds a small smile on his face content with his little family.

Pls send me more requests I love this so much it’s great😭😭

random messages w bf!yuta

pairing: yuta okkotsu x fem!reader

warnings: crack, fluff, mentions of sewerslide, suggestive (not really), and etc!

authors notes: hay yawl i just missed making smau’s lol, feel free to recommend anything, my asks are always open! (as long as it follows my rules, check my pinned post to find them). but enjoy ml’s, ily all please take care of yourselves <3

©rissouu 2024 (the frank ocean line yum yum yum)

Rollercoaster Rides

your jjk boyfriend doesn’t go on a ride with you. what’s their reaction when they find out another guy is about to accompany their girlfriend on it?

text messages including: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Sukuna Ryomen, Toji Fushiguro, Choso Kamo, Yuta Okkotsu, Toge Inumaki, Yuji Itadori, Megumi Fushiguro

blue eye samurai actors AU headcanons ft reader

tw: none except for the mention of M*k*o, not proofread, pitiful attempt at being humorous at 1 in the morning

a/n: i snuck a few references in here onto the bes cast, see if you can find them!! let’s just pretend you got akemi’s role. plus i did this on a whim please do not crucify me if i got certain details things wrong about the acting domain😔🙏 I MISS MY WIFE OH MY GAWWWD anyway, ENJOY!

Interviewer: Who are you?

Taigen: “Man, I be that pretty motherfucker man…”

Interviewer: “Taigen?”

Taigen *smug ass smile while nodding in agreement*: “Yessir”

Interviewer: “Tokunobu?”

Taigen*nods again*: “Yessir”

Madame Kaji *was probably told some bizarre joke by Fowler a second ago and let’s out the loudest laugh ever while covering her mouth*: “OH GOD- *keeps on laughing* I am uhm.. I’m Madame Kaji!”

Ringo: “Who are you-” *cackles like a witch*

Interviewer: “You’re Ringo?”

Ringo *stops abruptly*: “yeah, I’m Ringo yeah”

Interviewer: Who are you?

You: “My name is Beyoncé- Nah I’m just playing. It’s Y/N, I act and I sing and I Love reading fanfiction and I do stuff and stuff!”

Interviewer: And who are you?

Mizu: “I’m…Mizu…*awkward silence* the vengeful and badass samurai, yeah that’s me.”

Interviewer turns the mic towards a certain redhead.

Fowler: “Uhm Ed…I’m Ed today.”

- Originally you had simply accompanied a friend who absolutely wanted the role of ‘Akemi’ to an audition

- You had a vague idea of what the plot of the series was and either way it wasn’t like you were that much interested in acting

- But from your looks, mannerisms and personality as soon as you had walked in the directors almost immediately insisted on having you play the script (with no experience might i add) out to them and decided you'd make a perfect princess

- Yeah very odd but just like that you ended up getting casted for an upcoming Netflix series‼️

- You didn't waste a second to tell your girlfriend about this series and how they were still looking for the mc

- They were looking for an androgynous wasian female, at least least 5’7ft (170cm) tall, a good voice range, somewhat athletic and some sort of basic knowledge in martial arts.

- No prior acting skills needed, which was quite a gamble tbh

- Because of the amount of people that wanted the role, a face to face audition was not possible

- And what do you know?

-You absolutely suggested her as the mc, it was literally her

-Same name too I mean seriously-

- Girly did NOT want to send in that audition tape, you practically had to beg her to do it, because you just knew she’d rock

-She was happy for you but the whole revenge thing simply didn't ring anything within her

- Kind of felt as if you were putting way too much faith in her

- Took you weeks of convincing and even when she did send in the audition video it was on the last day like 30 minutes before the deadline😭

- Did the audition with zero intentions of getting casted, literally just read the script with her attitude and ran with it

- Expected everything but a positive feedback and it was only when she found out that the directors loved it that she sort of decided to take this acting stuff seriously.

- And since you were going to be there as well, she guessed that it wouldn't be all that much of a drag

- The two of you started journaling but from the pov of your character, researching about Edo Japan and you’d read each others thoughts from time to time and try to explain your understanding of your characters feelings to one another

- Both of you had too loose some weight and locked into the gym like never before

- It’s not like any of you were professional actors either way so,

- Mizu was very open to criticism and eager to learn

-and she learned fast too

-also pretty easy to be around.

- Kept looking for ways to better her acting and Fowler sort of became her mentor in that domain

-She quickly surpassed his expectations ngl

- That was genuine fear btw he later joked about how he almost pissed his pants at her performance

- Says he can’t wait to see her in more shows and different genres!

-Although Mizu wanted to take a well deserved break after BES

- At some point your girlfriend decided to rent a one room apartment and go into solitary confinement to fully concentrate on her role as Mizu, the self loathing samurai

- Method acting!

- Swordfather and Fowler were long friends before the BES

- You and Ringo literally became cousins the second you met on set, the two of you had a signature greeting and everything 🤎

- The directors were NOT playing when it came to the minuscule details such as the accuracy of either your walk or how you bowed, how you held your head, how you ate-

- Months and months of training, especially for both you and Mizu, five days a week, 3-4 hours fighting choreography hammered into her skull and it showed

- Which resulted in her being able to do a good 70% of her stunts

- Dislocated her left shoulder and almost broke her rib in this scene

- It freaked the shit out of you and they had to stop filming for a few days. Mizu had to spend a full week reassuring you that she was still alive and breathing and doing well

-The stunt in question didn't make it any easier to believe

- Claimed it was ‘just a funny bone’💀

- Months and months of training and practicing japanese edo period courtesy for you, five days a week, 3-5 hours of walking like a princess, dancing, talking, studying renga, Ikebana and many more Japanese arts from that period of time, getting used to them heavy robes on you, THE HAIR AND PINS

- You could NOT lay down with these traditional hairstyles, you’d have professionals do it once a week and they’d expect you to keep it for that full week

- Your head felt heavy af

- You had to sleep on a takamakura (small elevated wooden pillow) to not mess up your hair which helped immerse yourself even more into your role

- They had literal specialists of the period to show you how it goes, kimono’s that hadn’t seen the light of day in centuries where whipped out to be replicated for your measurements specifically

- It was a lot

- But it all paid off in the end!

- Your girlfriend would forget to tune back her voice even after filming, you never bothered to mention it though

-Her low voice stayed even weeks after the shooting of the series but you didn’t mind it at all🙏

-It was like hearing her morning voice 24/7 lmaooo

- In this scene Mizu accidentaly struck the training sword way to high up in between that man’s legs and crushed his nuts real bad.

- Spent the entire week apologizing and looking after the guy for the rest of the filming

- Ringo sort of got adopted by you and Mizu on set and kept having mini panic attacks whenever Mizu executed her stunts 😭

- She had the two of you in a chokehold.

- The scene where Ringo unintentionally asks Mizu how two girls in a brothel could work was genuine and not scripted and both you and Mizu had fight for your lives to stay in character

-After filming the scene where Mizu lets the guards take you away the whole set jokingly kept calling it your character's 'breakup scene'

- Swordfather is Ringo’s real life dad!!

- Mizu’s a natural at improvising comebacks, mainly because she couldn't get a hang of quite a few lines but that didn't stop people from being baffled by her quickness.

- Like, she just makes stuff up and it works

- "…it's trash", “Should I’ve been counting?” and "I like your hair" were one of the many lines that were not scripted but they still kept it in.

- Mizu's reaction in the scene where she sees you in that carriage for the very first time in the series was very much real

- like she was NOT prepared.

- jaws on the floor and everything, that afternoon the directors had made sure she hadn't caught as much as a glimpse of you in the robes and makeup on set to get the most authentic reaction possible and it WORKED.

- The script only said "stares curiously" but her longing ass made it 100 times better HAHHAHAA

- no but really she was admiring the view and Fowler claimed that it almost looked like she was about to chase that carriage

-genuinely could not take her eyes off of you in general but with you role as the princess it became 50 times worse

-could not stop complimenting you and if it weren't for her character she would've gotten all the more touchier

- Even if Taigen was supposed to be your lover you couldn’t even remotely stand him as a character but formed a good friendship with him on set

-He was actually getting engaged irl!!

- You could NOT keep a straight face after saying the fish line “I’d marry you even if you were the son of a poor fish” with Taigen and kept on bursting out laughing, you didn’t know why you found it so funny

- The sex scene with him was…something 💀🙏🙏

- He kept asking you and Mizu if he had both yalls approval

-Very mindful

- The directors couldn't really bring in a double for this...

- It’s not like y’all were fucking for real and there wasn’t much passion between you and him either way

- And you weren’t truly naked either to so it was just very bland and you didn’t really know what to think of it

- The scene that followed had to be shot a good 15 times because of how awkward the whole situation was…you could NOT keep a straight face, they ended up making the scene shorter than it was supposed to be

-The fact that you had to act as a seductress of men the more the story went on was super strange to you at first but you sort of got over it (you never really liked it tbh)

- Mizu accidentally kept hitting Taigen too hard during the chopstick fight😭

- Which was also his fault because in the beginning she actually tried to avoid hurting him seriously but Taigen really just screamed

- "COME AT ME FOR FUCKS SAKE. I want to kill you, BE ANGRY, BE COCKY. Show me what you can do, show me that you’re better than me!!”

- It made her act more intensely

- Accidentally knocked Taigen out for real with the broken blade

- Taigen jokingly kept apologizing to you when they shot that scene where he beats the crap out of Mizu after the chopstick fight because he knows how little you like the character he plays

- Fowler kept making gay bed chem jokes with Heiji and bro was a victim💀🙏

Ringo is probably taking a video of the scenery's set from the Edo castle until the camera falls onto a casually eating and conversating Heiji and Fowler

They're just standing there with coffee and a bagel. It's break time.

But the moment the smartphone's lens captures the duo, this huge redhead smirks and grasps yet another chance to embarrass his poor colleague.

Fowler with an arm swung around Heiji: "Me and Heiji cuddle and watch Smack DVD" :333

You can hear Ringo holding back a snort behind the phone before almost immediately wheezing at the thought. The camera shakes slightly from it.

Heiji (this was probably this man's last straw) *deadpans and stares into the cameraman's soul*: "| don't cuddle-*

You *peeking in from the corner of the screen*: "He be licking this guy's hair like 'UGHHH😝’

You lean into Heiji's personal space with the demonstration while humoring Fowler and simultaneously having him crack the loudest cackle ever.

Heiji shaking his head at you *he's about to end it all*: "I don't- I don't do that. That's not true-"

You stop him midway of his excuses in a 'and i'm going to hold your hand when I say this' type of way:

"I know you don't do that-"

Fowler plops up between the two of you with a grinch smile, a hand on both of your shoulders and he really looks like he's trying to rizz up the camera man😭:

“I do that.”

Ringo, Fowler’s and your own laugh could be heard throughout the entire set and Heiji could only pinch his brows in visible defeat, the video ends there.

- Fowler was probably one of the the nicest men you’d ever met, very supportive and kind and even if you had zero scenes with him, you still hung around him a lot

- great life coach!

- Biggest fan of older Disney movies and Tom and Jerry, and I mean like the 1940s - 1980s cartoons

- Made you feel super safe at first but when you saw him in his element he did scare the shit out of you sometimes

- A proud you x mizu shipper too

- Has tons of pictures of the two of you sleeping in on each others shoulders on set, goofing around, videos of you reciting your lines to each other...

- His favorite is by far the one after the thousand claw army scene was shot, where you have an arm around her shoulder, leaning into her face while staring at the camera and flashing a peace sign next to her cheek. You were also pressing a kiss on it. There is a trail of fake blood trailing across your face and Mizu’s clothing seems ruined with filth

- Your girlfriend has her own arm snuck around your waist, her other hand is holding her naginata/sword, face painted in fake blood as well while rolling her eyes with a soft smile.

- Y’all managed to look silly while barely surviving a hundred men’s attack😭🙏

- He printed it out and signed it ‘disaster lesbians <3”

- Fowler affectionately calls the two of you ‘Boney and Clyde’ 💀🤎

-Mizu wearing Taigen's scarf lowkey made you jealous even if you had to admit that it suited her so well

- You were highkey fangirling when you first got to meet Madame Kaji's actress face to face like...Mulan's VA fr??? The legend?

- Also just look at the woman, absolutely stunning.

- She thought that you were the cutest and you two couldn't wait to get your scenes together

- This lady helped you boost your confidence in your acting

- Madame Kaji was quite literally everyone's mom/idol on set

- literally such a diva but still very humble

- Chainsmoker but surprisingly doesn't smell, or at least not in an unpleasant way

- She makes the best tiramisu

- Kept soft parenting everyone

-Ringo and Kaji had already known each other irl and they were ALWAYS on smoking breaks together although he doesn't smoke

- Both him and Fowler deeply respect her and her work

- These two (Kaji and Fowler) were gossip and wine aunts trust.

-Ringo once ate Oreos on set but in the way where you separate the two biscuits and nibble on the filling first and then you eat the rest.

-That's when you realized he really was your brother from another mother

-Heiji kept saying that this is sacrilege‼️

- The scene where you drugged Mizu's cup and she's playing stupid while trashtalking Taigen was a challenge for you, they had to redo 7 takes because you kept forgetting that you were supposed to hate her and she was your target to kill it was ridiculous 😭

*Mizu almost drinks the sake*

“Hot”

“Where I’m from that’s how the men prefer it.” *you clear your throat*

*Long awkward silence where Mizu has to hold back a smile*

“And I’d also prefer not to be so nuts to that damn line I cannot remember it- And stop looking at me like that” 💀

Your line was “Kyoto”🙏🙏

CUT!!!

-You absolutely wanted to lunge at her but for all the wrong reasons..

- And Mizu's smug ass was not helping, she genuinely couldn't stop laughing and teasing you after the final take.

- You also had no idea Mizu was supposed to straddle you-

- Another thing that wasn’t scripted.

- On your script it only said that she'd pin you to the ground which was already a lot to handle in the first place,

- but you were really good at staying in character and since you were genuinely struggling and putting up such a fight against her, Mizu just decided to full on straddle you, yup

- And when she leaned down,

QUIET ON SET!

ROLL SOUND!

ROLL CAMERA!

bes scene #254 take 1

ACTION!!

*you almost die when you feel her hips press down on you*

- "You think I don't remember you? Princess Akemi of the Tokunobu clan. You drugged my cup"

-"I wish it was poison"

- That's when Fowler whisper screams "ok now KISS!!!" off camera and the entire set had to hold it in, like there was so much tension between the two of you even the directors had to let out a little laugh.

-They had to cut it out

"A fucking brat." 'Mizu your line was 'I see why he likes you. You're just like Taigen when we were children. Pathetic'

- They still kept her own version.

- It definitely made you feel some type of way.

- Mizu could not stop crying for like a solid 30 minutes after shooting the scene where she kills Kinuyo, somehow it felt way too personal

- You had to hold her that entire night too

- Almost threw up when she had to make it look like an accident even though she knew that everyone was doing well

- There were also moments where people just couldn’t speak with her beforehand or else she would break character, for example the scene where M*k*o betrays her...she asked to be left alone for a good 30 minutes before filming it, that's how committed she ended up being to her role

-The chest bindings...(!!!)

-Her performance made you so proud- like you knew she would be amazing but it also had you very worried about her mental state

- Definitely sought therapy after shooting the series, her character had forced her to go into deep dark places in order to act out the female rage parts the best she could and it showed

- In this scene your very first reaction was the realest ever

bes scene #401 take 1

ACTION!

“Rabbit liver in a velouté of what now?” 😭😭😭

CUT!!

- You knew about this beforehand of course but still

- One of the interesting things was the period accurate food and how much they tried to stay true to the recipes.

- Like reading about it and then seeing and smelling it irl are two different things

- Instead of horse semen they did end up using egg white

- The rabbit liver was rabbit liver tho

- First bite almost made you choke by instinct but you swallowed it anyway

- Ouhhhh they were trying you which made you even better at forcing you to stay in character, because that’s exactly what the princess is going through. She can't afford to mess up

- The scent was everything but appealing but lucky you they replaced what was supposed to be pig blood with very dark grape juice, not that it really helped but that was one less horrible thing

- You were supposed to take one bite only, a once in a lifetime experience!

you almost died and had to reshoot 4 times because you kept gagging

another blooper-

"Many famous samurai prefer the stamen to the pistil"

-So what happened here was that miss Mizu had once again forgotten her line and instantly replied “I’m not gay.” to Madame Kaji’s advances 💀

- So Madame Kaji just played along

“You’re not?” *visibly confused, like 'huh🤨'??*

“No….I mean not like that-“ *side eyes the camera*

“A lot of lying today-” *she's now smirking*

“I have a partner of my own” *The girl already messed up the scene so it doesn't really matter what she says next*

"Then it appears that the gentleman might simply prefer the petal against... another petal" *Mizu immediately whips her head at the woman with a cocked brow (she's trying to stay in character so bad, but she's also simply speechless) who cannot contain her amusement any further and laughs brightly*

CUT!!

-Another personal headcanon I have is that Lady Itoh and Madame Kaji knew each other irl and had a short affair-

I should sleep!

If you also miss our vengeful, silly and murderous blue eyed queen then you should defintely read my fanfiction on ao3!

The Damsel of Devastation Masterlist

alright seriously now.

I should sleep.

Why is this so true?

meme by: @Inknopewetrust

Having the Number One pro hero as your boyfriend is not easy.

Especially when you're a pro hero yourself.

And especially when your relationship is supposed to be a secret.

And even more especially when your boyfriend needs to be around you every second of every day like his life depends on it.

Izuku's a sweet man, he always has been and always will be. But sweet isn't even close to the word someone could use to describe how he treated you. In fact, even infatuated wouldn't be sufficient.

But Izuku's love has a price. He knows you can damn well defend yourself (trust me, he probably knows best after you almost stabbed him by accident when he came home in the middle of the night with no warning)—but still, he worries.

Which is why, much to his chagrin more than your own, you kept your relationship hidden from the public.

But like I said, Izuku's love for you is a force stronger than One for All itself.

So you can imagine this 'secret relationship' thing didn't really work out..

It was after a mission, a big operation in the city - the heroes had won but barely.

You were all exhausted.

And your boyfriend Pro Hero Deku more than most.

You were talking with a reporter, trying to reassure the civilians that everything was now resolved, when Izuku stumbles over and just starts peppering your face with kisses tiredly, the battle taking so much out of him that he forgets where he is.

he just wants his baby :(

All you can really do is stand there and take it, face bright red as a stunned cameraman and civilians start snapping photos and taking videos of the affectionate pro hero.

...Good thing you can defend yourself.

A/N: Deku's not one of my favs heh but he's such a sweetheart we need more loverboys in the world 😔

"baby..."

a few seconds of silence.

"baby," you whisper again, poking satoru's side softly. he groans and opens his arms wide making you giggle and snuggle into him. bare skin meets and he lets out a soft sigh.

“toru, I’m hungry,” you whine softly, head butting his chest.

“sweetheart,” he rasps out, “you just sucked the life out of me. i'm practically lobotomized right now.”

you giggle and run your fingers up and down his toned stomach. he lifts his head up to look at you and then flops it back down with yet another groan.

“how are you so energetic right now? we both came like five times.”

you purse your lips and shrug,

“dunno, you just give me life i guess.”

“yeah, you forcefully steal it through that tight pussy-“

“satoru!” you squeak, slapping your hand over his mouth, “what is wrong with you?”

he licks a large strip up your hand and you squeal again and yank your hand away but reach up and pinch his nipple.

“ow what the fuck-“

satoru grabs your wrist with surprising speed for someone who could hardly move just seconds ago.

“thought you were lobotomized,” you grumble.

“that shit fixed me,” he smirks as he lets go of your hand and rests it on your hip, rubbing circles into your skin. you huff and and snuggle closer to him.

“… so now that your brain is back… McDonalds?”

“five more minutes of naked cuddling then fine,” satoru says as he tucks his face into your neck and tugs you closer.

“mmm, deal.”

The Hashira and their Children

——————————————————————————

(Gyomei is introducing his chubby newborn baby to the other Hashira)

Gyomei: This is Yusuke. Y/n just gave birth to him a few weeks ago.

Mitsuri: aww! He’s so cute!

Shinobu: he looks just like you

Gyomei: would you guys like to hold him?

(After everyone but Sanemi has held the baby)

Gyomei: Shinazugawa, would you like to hold Yusuke?

Sanemi: *holding Yusuke* you look like a lump of mochi

Baby Yusuke: *face contorts and he starts to cry*

Mitsuri: Sanemi, how could you? You made him cry

Tengen: nice going Sanemi

Sanemi: *grumbling as he hands Yusuke to Gyomei* I didn’t mean to make him cry

——————————————————————————

(Kyojuro and Y/n are trying to take a family picture but their 3 year old won’t stop crying)

Y/n: what are we going to do, they won’t stop crying?

Kyojuro: Just give them a box of raisins

Y/n: Seriously?

Kyojuro: *pulls out box of raisins and hands it to his child* there see

Three year old: *immediately stops crying and is waving the raisins around*

Y/n: I swear they get that from you

——————————————————————————

(Sanemi was left at home to look after his 4 year old and 1 year old alone. He was watching them but took a small nap. He wakes up to find his oldest has drawn all over his 1 year old in marker)

Sanemi: what did you do to your brother?

Four year old: *holding the marker* wasn’t me

1 year old: *laughing*

Sanemi: *mumbles to himself* help me clean your brother up now

——————————————————————————

(Conversation between Kyojuro, Sanemi and Tengen)

Tengen: I’m pretty sure my neighbor thinks I’m a terrible father

Sanemi: just ignore them

Kyojuro: you’re not a terrible father, what makes you say that?

Tengen: they saw me chasing my naked three year old twins around the front lawn. Again

Kyojuro: why were you chasing them

Sanemi: wait, what do you mean again

Tengen: they finished taking their bathes but refused to put clothes on

Tengen: then they unlocked the front door and began running around. As soon as I caught one, I’d start chasing the other, but the one in my hands would slip out as soon as I caught the other one. My neighbors saw the whole thing

——————————————————————————

Y/n: *walks into the bathroom where their five year old son is* oh my god! What did you do

Son: *smiles and looks at their mom*

Sanemi: *comes running in* what’s wrong? What happened?

Y/n: take a look at your son, notice anything missing

Sanemi: *stares for a minute* what happened to your eyebrows?

Son: I gets rid of them. Now daddy and I match

Y/n: *turns away snickering*

Sanemi: OI!

——————————————————————————

Kyojuro: *is asleep*

3 year old: Daddy wake up

Kyojuro: *continues to sleep*

3 year old: *grabs TV remote and proceeds to smack Kyojuro with it* Daddy up!

Kyojuro: ow! I’m up

——————————————————————————

(Giyuu, y/n and their 5 year old are in their backyard)

Y/n: and just what do you think you’re doing?

5 year old: *holding a giant Japanese salamander like it’s a stuffed animal* I found him, can we keep him?

Y/n: *looks at the salamander that’s as big as their child* where did you even find that

5 year old: in the river… so… can we keep him?

Y/n: *flabbergasted* where do you expect to put him?

5 year old: in the pond with the fish

Y/n: I’m sorry but that thing will eat the fish

Y/n: *looks at Giyuu* you want to say anything?

Giyuu: …. We could build a second pond for him

Y/n: *throws hands in the air* seriously

Giyuu: what’s his name?

5 year old: Mr. Flabbs

——————————————————————————

Y/n: honey, do you know where our daughter is?

Gyomei: I believe she is in the kitchen….

Y/n: *after walking into the kitchen* oh my god no! Spit that out!

3 year old: *runs out of the kitchen*

Y/n: Gyomei catch her!

Gyomei: *catches daughter and holds her up*

Y/n: spit that out right now!

3 year old: *spits out cockroach into Gyomei’s hand*

Gyomei: please tell me this isn’t what I think it is

Y/n: I wish I could

——————————————————————————

(Y/n, Sanemi and their 3 year old are at an appliance store)

Y/n: *looking at washing machines with Sanemi* what do you think of this…. Where’s our child?

Sanemi: they were right here

Y/n: *look’s around and is mortified* oh please no

Sanemi: what?

Three year old: *is sitting on one of the display toilets with their pants down singing while grunting*

Y/n: stay here while I get the wet wipes

Sanemi: *covers his face in shame*

Store attendant: *trying so hard not to laugh*

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(Obanai, Mitsuri and y/n are giving their 2 and 3 year olds a bath in the tub)

Obanai: *leaves the bathroom to grab something real quick*

Y/n: how are the kids?

Obanai: just got them into the bath

Mitsuri: *getting the kid’s pajamas ready* they are just so cute

3 year old: *shouting* boat! A boat!

Y/n: did you put toys in the tub?

Obanai: no, we don’t even have any boat toys

Mitsuri: then what is…

Obanai, y/n and Mitsuri: *runs into the bathroom*

(They walk into the bathroom to see their 2 and 3 year olds in the tub with a turd floating around)

3 year old: look a boat!

Mitsuri: *covers her face*

Y/n: *scrambles to quickly remove the kids from the tub*

Obanai: *disgusted as he empties the tub and removes the turd* I’ll run another bath

Y/n: *looks to Mitsuri* still think they’re cute?

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