Gosh This Sounds Terrifying, It's Even Worse When You Take Peace And Security For Granted And Were Not

Jean-Léon Gérôme - The Carpet Merchant (ca. 1887)

quick sketch

Oh boy another amazingly written roller coaster for this poor character!! 😭😭 And the guy really must be so suspicious of everything and everyone after all these long years of struggles and suffering, so of course nightmares must be a constant demon now, haunting his mind among others, especially since his captivity situation is still fresh 😢 and he doesn't have Calypso's spells clouding his mind either!

And gosh the way the nightmares start in absolute chaos as he runs through the night... an obvious reference to how they choose to attack Troy at night which plagues his guilt, mixed with all the blood of the dead at his feet... Man the fact that he realized the wetness was not water by the thickness and smell of it, plus the armor must only make his running more desperate!

This is like the night of the living dead only much more chilling and dark, the way you point out the deep suffering of the people who were attacked and slaughtered, which is something Odysseus' mind and guilt amplify even more in his nightmare 😰 I also really like the fact that all the faces are distorted and hard to recognize, because there were so many deaths and too much for Odysseus to count and recognize, so what really hits his mind is the general suffering and screaming of all the people which fuels even more the "nightmare" aura of this!

Oh boy the way he panics and starts slashing... To get the approaching suffering figures away from him... And man the image of the wooden horse burning in the distance is such a good touch, almost as if it's mocking him and his decisions! Also the fact that the figures moan his name point out more to his inner guilt...

Oh and he slashes his comrade without meaning to... 😭 In a way this is a very deep symbolism, because even if indirectly so, part of him believes Polites died along with his other men by his hands, therefore this is his mind sinking in the belief he killed them, even before Eurylochus appears to accuse him of such...

Also as I said before this greatly reminds me of that idea where Kai dreams he kills Caleb by accident...

Oh man and what a grim sight for Polites... The way his body looks decomposed as a reflection of the way he died at sea, bloated and eaten by fish, and the dead glassy eyes must be so traumatizing to see! 😰 And now with the gash made by Odysseus' weapon... The way he laments how cold he feels is heartbreaking as well 😭

Man this definitely is perfect for a horror short and yet, it's so full of such emotion and it's as sad as it is scary... Also the fact that the figures are coming out of the pool of blood like reaching out to Odysseus from the depths of death itself! Of course since the last moments with Eurylochus were of tense bitterness the accusations out of his mouth will echo through Odysseus nightmare as well .. and even worse since he also looks like the decayed corpse reflecting his death by the Gods at sea 😢

This also reminds me of a scene of Vinland Saga, where Thorfinn has a dream/vision of the underworld and has to face all the people he has killed in battles, wars and raids, with the corpses actually crying reaching for him as if begging for him to take them out of there:

YouTube

Askeladd Saves Thorfinn in Valhalla - Thorfinn Cries for His Sins

Vinland Saga Season 2. Thorfinn dragged into hell by pople that he killed. Thorfinn meets Askeladd in hell afterlife.#vinlandsaga #askeladd

(Now I also wonder how bad are the nightmares that Caleb could have, of the comrades who died during the rebellion, as well as the enemies he killed... Because even tho it was the heat of war and it happens, some of those enemies were also lads fighting for better opportunities and lifes...)

Oh gosh and now all his men who died throughout the long journey... The giant holes being the spears of the giants who caught them like fish 😢 which is extra dark with the missing limbs, and oh man the six men who were devoured by Scylla being there as well... the gore is so graphic and yet I love it how you deliberately made it connect to the type of death they suffered...

I can only imagine the sounds of anguish Odysseus is making in bed while having these terrible visions... And as if these corpses aren't enough he suffers with the visions of the Goddesses as well! Circe arriving seems like she's symbolizing his Karma... And the consequences of his choices, which is definitely something that is on the back of Odysseus mind and makes sense to be personified through the Goddess in this nightmare! I also love her look of the red hair and green eyes, somehow it connects her to wild nature! Green of the plants, red of the fire and agressivness of animals!

Oh man and the apparition of Calypso is definitely his most recent terror... I love how she's standing tall shadowing him because her oppression, imprisonment and rape of him is still fresh in his being. And even with the honey eyes she seems so predatory still! Especially as she moves so quickly next to him! Being forceful and accusing him of abandonment as Odysseus remembers well how she ignored his wishes and just assumed her own version of reality!

The way he tells Calypso how she violated him so full of grief, while it transitions to Cassandra accusing his people of doing the same is such a gut wrenching moment in the best way! Especially with her drenched in blood too 😰 And this probably hurts Odysseus even more for the fact that he's so devoted to the Gods, so to see a priestess who devoted her purity being defiled by his men was probably so vile...

And now they are really coming one after the other, including the man that Odysseus knew he could have saved, but let drown on his own as revenge for how he put his baby son in danger to take him to war... It's interesting how Odysseus notices him being younger now, as if he notices the years of life he didn't get to live.

And of course the accusations that he kept his will to return home to his family over everyone else's survival and well being, which since this is his own nightmare it's like it's him who feels guilty of such a thought! Despite him retorting back how much he sacrificed for them too deep inside this thought stings him as well! Or at least that's what your writing makes me feel in this moment!

Oh man and finally comes the part which stings him the most! The fear that Penelope might have moved on while he's still fighting to return home to her... And of course it's Calypso's image telling him that, the same way she has kept trying to hammer it into his mind all these years.

I also loved that even in the middle of all these deformed and destroyed corpses, it still seems to be the corpse of poor little mangled Astyanax that terrifies Odysseus the most with the way he screams, probably because it was one of the most traumatic deaths for him, the death of a little pure innocent who reminded him so of his own son 😢

And again such a nice surrealist touch for a dream, the way curtains appear in the middle of nowhere in a bloody pool, and with his worse fear gaining shape on the other side. It makes so much sense that Penelope looks like his last memory of her and it's such an interesting detail that the other man has no real identifying features other than being young and strong! Is this Telemachus? Or another man she has married in the way she leans into him? Either way ouch! Such harsh words!

And the thought of his bed being there is also such a cruel touch of his brain! But definitely not as cruel as Penelope talking to him with such words! His brain throwing him the worst case scenario imaginable and again it seems that Penelope words are a personification of his own accusations to himself, only said by his beloved because they hurt more that way... Especially as he remembers his parents... and the way she calls him by his sacker of cities and butcher titles 😢 and oh boy him even remembering the sirens here hitting the peak of his suffering!

Him being engulfed by his dead comrades and others, while he tries to literally claw his way out of this situation to attempt to keep living, it's the perfect wake up call from this nightmare, which is only more heartbreaking as he sees Penelope getting more distant 😢

Poor guy looks so exhausted waking up from his dream, it's like he goes to bed to get more tired instead of properly resting...

And I love your descriptions of his reactions like his breathing and how he's sweaty and even feverish after suffering such a trauma in his sleep. And it's so fitting that although he acknowledged he is in a safe environment between people who wish to help, his mind is still on high alert at all the details and he immediately notices the light that was not supposed to be there, even with the drowsiness of his restless sleep! Nausicaa definitely had a jump scare there! Never sneak on a traumatized war man like that 😂

And gosh nightly visits! That's a bold young princess 😂 but gosh to her credit I can imagine that the sounds of panic that Odysseus was doing might have been indeed quite worrisome! The detail of him being so scared of her hearing him speak in his sleep is both interesting from the perspective of him wanting to hide his identity, but also his trauma of how Calypso practically probed his inner thoughts out of him forcefully!

And gosh talk about hitting the nail! Nausicaa definitely had no idea of the wound she poked when she asked him about the guilt he carries inside! Which is so apparently painful in the way he immediately attempts to lie! Or at least to give her some truths in other directions! Basically dodging the question in a smart yet sad way.

And the poor guy definitely scoffs at how he is called wise now... I like how he even throws the word with irony like an insult because of all the situations that brought him there alone! But it's also so very human of him that although he regrets the way things have happened he still admits that he would do it all again just for the chance to be back to his family faster... Also it gives him such an interesting duality because it makes sense he would be proud of himself for the feat of winning a war so fast and almost by himself! It's definitely still incredible and worthy of admiration for his mind and wits! And even if it kills him that the slaughter and blasphemies happened I really love the mix of shame, regret and self acknowledgement running in his mind... And again it's so human of him to contemplate his own mortality especially now that he's so eager to return home after so many years!

I also like how he's implying that his wisdom is in fact his experience and in a way he is not wrong, the same way he is not wrong in pointing out that experience is not always wisdom, and yet it's so natural for him to be happy that people recognize his talents despite being so very exhausted the poor guy... Especially since he thinks his sorrows are also the results of his actions...

But man the girl in love 😂 (now I also imagine Caleb with silver strands still making the town girls sigh 😂) she is so ready to marry him, the poor cute young one hahaha she is also such a nice contrast with Calypso, clearly has the innocence of a young girl with a strong crush and no wonder that Odysseus feels flattened by it! But I so love how you still make his trauma show itself in the way he runs away from her touch, still to hurt from his rape.

And the girl was so awkward with his reaction as well! She's clearly uncomfortable with his discomfort which is a very good sign! Gosh she definitely can't imagine how much Calypso did to him indeed! And once again Odysseus throws half lies and different truths to avoid the painful subject that still hurts him so... It's heartbreaking that the ending of his dream haunts him when he thinks of Penelope!

It's so cute how he mentions Telemachus being her age! Perhaps he could be a nice suitor for her 😆😆 and she has such a girlish reaction as well, being almost offended that he assumes what she would regret even if it was not his intentions hahaha but if course one can see why she fell for him and his wits and will after all!

And his jokes to try and lighten the mood are always great despite it bearing truth! I like how he can admit that flattery can inflate his ego too much!

I love how Nausicaa asking about Penelope being so beautiful after all those years is mirroring the way Calypso asked him, but here it's not in a red flag dangerous way, but rather just a young girl getting sad about not being able to get her first love or crush. Odysseus describing how he loves his wife not only for her physical beauty but for all of the things that makes her herself is very touching ❤️ and it's also so cute how Odysseus doesn't want to hurt the girl's feelings, hahaha and the way he suddenly pulls his covers up all shy 😂

Oh man that image of the figure in the corner is so scary no wonder the poor guy is in need of a light for some comfort from the scary ghosts in his head! It's so sad it's like a little boy looking for some comfort in the light! Once again reminds me of Caleb begging for the candle when he was still too traumatized from his imprisonment 😢 oh gosh and the way Odysseus almost cries when she tells him that the lamp can stay there... Nausicaa is definitely such a great difference from the Goddesses and poor Odysseus feeling bad that he can't give her what she wishes from him because of her kind gesture of being decent and respecting his choice! The way he's so touched by her is very emotional!

Oh man that's such a great final detail the way he at least feels alive and like himself again with these nightmares, that although terrifying and plaguing his mind are still more natural than the spells Calypso put on him to numb him... His relief for not being used anymore is overwhelming!

And gosh him still imagining Polites suffering in cold and pain 😢 and giving him one last thought and apology before attempting to sleep again... His will to survive is always the most incredible thing, but also touching in the sense that part of him cannot let his comrades deaths or his struggles be in vain by dying, even if he tells himself he'll see them, but only when the time is right... And thankfully the lamp does help!

Gosh girl such an explosion of emotions as always written in such a touching way! The way you describe such human reactions always gets me in the feels!! Marvelous job girl truly!! It's criminal that this does not have more notes!! 👏👏✨✨✨💖💖💖💎💎💎💎✨✨✨✨

It's also such an amazing tribute for man's mental health awareness, in this or in any other month it's perfect! (Made me eager to get to the part of Caleb healing in our story as well ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹) Also a very interesting touch to research the name of the comrades who are anonymous in the Odyssey! Hahaha Big Polites with a kind heart gives me Ballard feels now! And Eurylochus as Diego of course 😆 And again I really like Circe's look! ✨✨

Screams and Shadows in the Night

Odysseus spends the first night in Scheria, hiding his identity from everyone and yet his dreams are not peaceful as everything he ever feared or made him tormented come to visit him as screams and shadows in the night...

He was running once more. That’s all he knew. His breath was hissing in his ears and his leg muscles were hurting from the effort. He could hear the clang of metal as he was fully geared up in his bronze armor. He could also hear the screaming. Screams were coming from every direction. His feet seemed to be ankle-deep in water which was making his march more difficult. However, no, that was no water. He recognized the familiar and not at all pleasant scent of metal and he knew the liquid was thick. It was blood. He could almost feel it clotting on him. There were momentary flashes of fire in the darkness and then more screams… Soon faces and people followed. Screaming distorted faces came to get him. They were mixed people; soldiers and civilians that seemed to be rushing at him. He raised his sword which he had no idea he had before, and slashed. He slashed again and again as more blood gushed out of wounds and showered him. All he could do was keep cutting as more dead bodies fell down. He recognized the fires and screams of Troy. He could almost see the wooden horse; his creation, burning in some long distance along with the walls of Holy Troy. He swore people moaned his name as they fell dead.

“Get back! Back!” he cried desperately, “Leave me alone!”

He slashed again and then his eyes widened in horror.

“C-Captain…”

He recognized the tall figure with the dark brown hair and brown eyes or rather what seemed to be left of them as they were glassy like fish eyes as his head was leaning to the side soullessly with the slash he had just inflicted open at his throat; blood gushing out of his lips.

“P-Polites…” he croaked out

“Odysseus…” Polites moaned, “Why…why…it’s…cold…”

His skin was pale and soft; unnaturally green as if it had been underwater. He was bloated at places as the flesh was already hanging at other places. Some parts of his body seemed to be bitten by the fish of the sea.

“No…no…no…” Odysseus whispered taking a step back and another and another

Suddenly from the depths of the bloody pool came more hands, one or two tried to grab him by the ankles. He turned around to see the thin figure of Eurylochus. His skin was also grayish, seaweed was coming out of his black mouth as water was gushing out of it.

“Captain…” he growled unworldly, “This is all your doing! Your fault! You doomed us all!”

“No! Eurylochus! Please…” Odysseus cried, “I didn’t…I…I didn’t mean…”

As screams and moans increased accompanied by the sounds of swords and cracking of bones coming from a distance, more faces and bodies kept coming out of the bloody pool around him… More men appeared; some of them bore wounds on their bodies that looked like giant holes, something only spears enormous for human hands could cause, a few others had limbs missing and 6 out of them had their skulls crushed; parts of their brains missing or jaws shattered beyond recognition. And more bodies covered in algae and seawater appeared.

“Lycaon…Alkimos…Amphialos…Antilochus…Amphidamas…” Odysseus whispered as tears burnt his eyes, “No…please…no…Perimedes…no…”

He tried to back down but he couldn’t. There was a circle of dead men coming closer and closer, moaning unworldly and calling his names. The hellish choir of screams and cries in the background was making his ears buzz.

“I told you not to do that…!”

At the sound of that soft, mellow soprano voice, Odysseus turned around. At a distance he recognized the tall figure of Circe as her auburn red hair and green eyes left little doubt of her identity.

“Circe…please!”

“You doomed yourself, Odysseus!” Circe whispered, and even if she did, her voice echoed clearly in his ears, as if she spoke inside him, “I had warned you…you didn’t heed my advice”

“No! Please, Circe! I didn’t do it…I…I didn’t…”

Circe pointed her white finger towards him in accusation.

“Their blood falls upon you! It’s time you paid!”

“No!” Odysseus yelled in panic, “I beg of you, Circe, please help me!”

“I told you, darling…”

The new, deep voice made his blood run cold as he turned towards the other side to see the dark figure of Calypso standing tall as if she were a shadow, behind the sea of people that were approaching him. Her honey eyes almost shining in the darkness.

“I told you to stay with me…” she repeated, and suddenly she was right behind him as if it took just a blink of his eyes to do so, “You could have been immortal! You could have been happy with me…and yet you abandoned me! I loved you and you abandoned me.”

“No!” Odysseus cried out, “You were scaring me…you kept me prisoner…you…” he chocked on the words, “…You violated me…!”

“Like your own people violated me?”

Yet another figure manifested behind him, making him jump out of his skin. He recognized that slim, small figure. Her robes of the priestess were stained with blood as was her face.

“Cassandra!” he croaked out

The she-prophet both blessed and cursed by Apollo glared at him; a thousand accusations shining in her eyes.

“Your schemes brought your people at my doors! They defiled me! They violently took my virginity away! The one that I had offered to the gods for eternity! They made me a slave!”

“I didn’t do it! I am not at fault!”

“What about me then?”

Odysseus turned his head again and he never thought to see that face again in his life. That face so much younger than his, gray and loose from water covered in mud and algae from the sea.

“P-Palamedes…” Odysseus croaked out, “No…no!”

A bony accusatory finger stretched towards him.

“You…” the unworldly husky voice croaked, “You…killed me!”

“No! You drowned!” Odysseus panicked, “You fell and drowned…I saw it!”

“Yes…” Palamedes retorted, “You did nothing…your hand did this!”

“That’s a lie!” Odysseus screamed beyond himself, “I wasn’t…I didn’t… You… You hurt my son! You nearly killed him! And you dragged me into that hell! If it weren’t for you I…I would be at home now! With my son! With my wife!”

“That was all you ever cared for…” Eurylochus spoke again, “No one else mattered to you…no matter how much you cheated, stole or killed you didn’t care…”

“No! No!” Odysseus now yelled as tears of rage filled his eyes, “I…I did so much for you! I…I fought monsters for you…I sold myself for you! Bastard! I did so much for you! Don’t you dare to say that to me!”

“You took Troy by trickery!” Cassandra spoke as well, “You fought at night and you destroyed thousands of lives…”

“And for what?” Calypso continued, “To return to your wife…the wife that doesn’t wait for you…the wife that is happier without you!”

Her eyes shone dangerously, almost like coals over embers of fire.

“Your dearest wife just lives happily without you!”

“NO! DAMN YOU WITCH! DAMN YOU!”

The baby cry made his blood freeze as he looked down at the bloody river and saw the mangled body of the baby grabbing his ankle. The scream that was released from his own lips couldn’t have been produced by a human!

“NO!”

He violently kicked himself free out of the grasp beyond his wits in terror as he ran towards a curtain he had no idea there was there and then he opened it to face the most terrifying sight of them all. Penelope was there, as beautiful as the day he left her, leaning onto a couch. There was a male figure behind her, he couldn’t distinguish his features as he was hidden in the shade of the curtain (and of the olive canopy of the bed…HIS bed…the bed he shared with his wife…) but he seemed tall young and vigorous. Penelope leaning against him like a dove looked at him in contempt.

“Why did you come back?” her melodious voice full of accusation, “We were better without you…happier without you!”

“Penelope! No, joy of my life this cannot be! You promised me…we promised to each other…! No! This can’t be!”

“How long will I cry for you? How long will I wait for you, Odysseus? How many more people will I bury that waited for you?”

Anticlea…his mother…his father probably would follow… Tears of horror fell from his eyes as the unworldly screams increased mixed with the horrendous song of the sirens that pierced his eardrums.

“No! Penelope! How could you!”

“You deserve to die for what you’ve done!” Penelope replied merciless.

Her voice was no longer sweet; no longer warm. She was colder than ice and sharper than any sword, spear or tusk that ever pierced his tormented body.

“You…Sacker of Cities…like any butcher you took so many lives and destroyed even more! So just you would get out of war fast without being called a coward! You will pay for what you’ve done!”

The horrendous room seemed to be growing distant and the living dead seemed to have surrounded him now…

“Come…Odysseus…” Polites moaned

“Join us to hell…” Eurylochus growled, “Come with us as you should have done a decade ago!”

More moans and groans surrounded him as skeletal hands, more terrifying than any claw he ever saw, came closer and closer. Odysseus was mad beyond words.

“NO! LET ME GO! UNHAND ME! NO!”

Horrified beyond description he looked up at the direction of Penelope who was growing all the more distant from him.

“No! PENELOPE!”

He punched and kicked maniacally, he hit someone with his elbow and he swore he must have uprooted some arm or some handful of hair. He no longer cared.

“NO! YOU SHALL NOT DRAG ME DOWN WITH YOU!” he bellowed, “I WILL SURVIVE, DO YOU HEAR ME?! I WILL SURVIVE! I WILL SURVIVE! NO! NO! NO!”

As the bodies engulfed him his breath stopped and his eyes turned black…

~~

Odysseus gasped and shot up from his sleep violently breathing in and out

His wide chest was hurting from the amount of effort he was putting at the violent palpitations that were supposed to bring Oxygen to his body. His clothes were drenched from his sweat and his forehead was burning as if he were feverish. He looked around frantically at the room as he tried to remember where he was. He remembered he was in Scheria, the island of the Phaeakes. He was finally on a friendly land with people that seemed willing to help if he let them in. The room was simple and yet comfortable where he slept softly for the first time in more than two weeks. It looked cozy even if Odysseus was nowhere near at comfortable at that moment. Then his mind, already moved by fear he realized the only reason he could see was that there was light in his room! Fast like a snake he turned around to grasp the throat of the intruder who dared to invade in his room only to receive a girly whelp of surprise and feel the tender flesh beneath.

“It’s me!” Nausicaa rasped out, “It’s me…!”

She was standing over him in her nightgown, covered in white and in her white veil, holding a ceramic lamp that was the source of light. With the traces of the dream still in his mind, Odysseus came back to reality. He sighed in relief as he released her.

“Princess…” he gasped, “Gods forgive me…forgive me, I didn’t mean…”

“Forgive me the intrusion…” the maiden spoke again in a whisper, “I heard you from down the hall moaning and gasping I thought…”

Odysseus felt his heart being clenched by fear.

“Did I…Did I speak in my sleep…?”

He had hidden his identity from his hosts and managed to remain anonymous. If his dream forced words in his mouth then…

“No…” Nausicaa whispered honestly, “Nothing I could make out anyways but you seemed pretty bad…”

“Thank gods…” Odysseus sighed in relief, “Forgive me for the scare, princess… I did not aim to alarm you in the middle of the night. It was just a nightmare… Just shadows and screaming in the night…”

Nausicaa placed the lamp by his bed and sat at the edge of it.

“They say that night horrors visit us when we have guilty conscious. Do you have things you regret, kind guest?”

She could have stabbed him in the heart; it would have hurt less.

“No, princess” he lied, “no more than everyone has, anyways. However the trip…the shipwreck and the tides…adventures…sadness and horror…can break any man…”

He mopped his sweat off his forehead with his hand. He swore he could still see the blood.

“I have my regrets like any other human…and my fears too…”

At least that was true enough, he knew. Nausicaa looked at him sincerely and nodded.

“You are a curious case, kind stranger. My father was impressed by you. You certainly hide wisdom”

Odysseus scoffed a bit, in a humorless manner. Yes, wise… Wits that match the gods they had said…a man of many wiles they had said… And yet here he was; stranger in a strange land…alone without companions afraid to even reveal his name to hosts because of over a decade of torment and sorrow…

“My wisdom brought me here,” he thought bitterly, “my arrogance and selfishness… I wanted, so badly, to go home and I committed a war crime for it! I could still be at war in Troy now…but I would still be Odysseus of Ithaca…the king of Cephallinians… But I would still be honorable despite my reputation…I would be…I would be me… Not a nobody hiding among strangers…not a ragged beggar and a ragged man”

And yet, did he have regrets for his actions? He surely did, but would he really make things differently? Odysseus realized that he wouldn’t. He would regret the slaughter of Troy to the rest of his days, he knew it, but would he have taken another route to take it? Somehow he doubted it. He still knew he would come up with a scheme to take it as fast as possible. Quite frankly, Troy was his biggest regret but also his biggest pride. A mortal man taking a city almost by himself? If the slaughter and the atrocities to the gods hadn’t happened Odysseus realized that he would be proud of his idea to overstep the rules and fight in the night. If the slaughter didn’t happen so brutally he could even feel pride at his plan… He moaned pitifully as he passed his hand over his face once more. He saw a few white hairs on his hand from his beard. Yes, he realized once again, he was just a pitiful human doomed to grow old and die. His years of torment had changed him…and he wasn’t sure if it truly was for the better…

“I am no longer young, princess…” Odysseus said in defeat, “Wisdom can have also the name of experience which always comes with age; even if experience doesn’t always equal to wisdom, your compliment is definitely a balsam to any old man’s heart…”

He remembered being praised for his wisdom. He felt so proud back then! Even now he felt wild pride people recognizing the skills he believed he possessed. However now, after 20 long years Odysseus was tired…even this joy was not enough to heal the cracks to his soul. What wisdom did to him during all those long years he roamed about the seas? At the moment he felt like the worst among the fools that ever lived on the planet. Nausicaa blushed softly. Odysseus watched her brush a lock of hair behind her ear, averting his eyes.

“I certainly do not think you are old as you say…my father does not think so either. If you wished so, you could stay here forever and relax…finally be free from your torments…”

She looked at him for a brief second before shyly lowering her eyes again.

“And I would gladly become your wife as my father also wished”

Odysseus looked at her. Even in the dim light he could see how beautiful she was. Soft and clean wheat colored skin and long brown hair, large brown eyes that could wake the passion in any man’s heart; Odysseus was both flattered and in wonder how she saw him; a mortal maiden to the beginning of her youth seeing him a shipwrecked beaten up man to the beginning of his old age, and thinking how she wished to be his wife. She wasn’t an immortal goddess who might as well take interest in experiencing the fleeting nature of humans, this was a human maiden; someone like him. Usually maidens of humans would be attracted to youth, beauty and strength. The fact that she seemed genuinely interested in him both flattered and alarmed him. Her hand made a move to touch him. He gasped and avoided her by leaning back.

“Don’t…” he said softly, “Please don’t…”

Nausicaa averted his eyes once more, clenching her veil around her.

“Did that goddess you mentioned do that much to you…?” she whispered

Odysseus lowered his eyes.

“Is not something I can easily talk about, Princess…however that’s not the only reason…”

It was a half-lie and he knew it but he was also telling the truth.

“I have a wife…she is waiting for me back home…”

For a moment that horrifying dream came to his mind but he shook it off.

“I have also a son who could be about your age… Please, do not get me wrong, kind Nausicaa…you are a very beautiful and attractive young woman, the woman who could awake passion and loyalty to any man but…”

He sighed.

“…But I am not for you. That is not what you wish either…trust me you would regret it later and so would I. I love my wife more than anything in this life. I could never betray her in such a way as to abandon my plan to reunite with her.”

Nausicaa looked to the side once more.

“Do not think of me as reckless…you cannot tell what I would and what I wouldn’t regret…”

“The thought never crossed my mind, Nausicaa…” Odysseus said softly, “But, trust me, you confuse your pity and sympathy for me for love…”

“I never pitied you…” Nausicaa said, “In fact, your strength and will to survive is only to be admired of and you have proven yourself a bit today…”

“Please say no more compliments, princess, for this old man might become too flattered and arrogant while he should stay humble!” Odysseus whispered in an attempt to make some humor out of the situation

He knew himself. He could say many things but no one could deny he knew his good and bad sides. He was easily flattered. He loved to hear that people appreciated his talents. He was so used at both ends of the spectrum; people berating his methods and people admiring his skills that he was capable of absorbing flattery like a sponge. His onyx eyes looked at the maiden in a paternal way.

“My answer will still be no, beautiful Nausicaa… I desire nothing more than go home to my wife and son…please, understand, it has been so long…”

“Is your wife so beautiful then…?” Nausicaa smiled sadly

“And even more”

“Even after all those years…?”

Odysseus smiled softly.

“That…I do not know” he admitted, “However Nausicaa…I had the chance meeting women who were renounced for their beauty and even then I chose my wife. She might not have been as famed as those women for her beauty, despite the fact it was great anyways, but the reason I chose her was her wits, her craftsmanship…her personality that drew me to her… This type of beauty will never fade…not even in a hundred years… I wish you, beautiful Nausicaaa to find a husband that makes you feel the same…”

Nausicaa sighed softly. That sigh made Odysseus almost blush. It was as if she had told him; “I already found a candidate…but I cannot have him…”. He also felt shy that moment and drew his covers over his chest. If that maiden was truly in love with him in such a small amount of time…even if she knew literally nothing of him… That interest was indeed sweet and flattering how even at his age and even after beaten up by the sea and time he was still aspiring love and passion and yet… Nausicaa stood up, fixing herself a bit.

“Is there anything I can do for you, kind guest?”

Odysseus looked at the corner of the room where shadows played. His imagination was playing nasty games with the light and shadows and he could almost see a tall figure there…terrifying and dead…covered in blood and sea… His black eyes looked at the princess pleadingly.

“Yes…please can you leave me the lamp…?” he asked, “…So the shadows of the night will not visit me again…?”

Nausicaa smiled in sympathy.

“Of course…”

She placed the little ceramic by his bed.

“The oil should last throughout the night…”

Odysseus lowered his gaze and almost teared up in gratefulness. He hoped Nausicaa hadn’t seen it. She certainly was different than Circe and much different than Calypso. She respected his wish and backed away. He felt grateful to her and sad at the same time how he wasn’t that type of person to give her what she wanted. She didn’t deserve the heartbreak but he had confidence in her. She wasn’t broken like he was. She could find a better match… He collected himself so she wouldn’t notice his tears that were forming to his eyes, threatening to come out.

“Thank you…” Odysseus whispered, “Truly…”

“Sweet dreams, stranger…” she whispered

That I doubt…he thought bitterly watching her leave his chambers and leaving him in peace. His mind ran back to the island of Calypso. The nights he was numb and the few hours of sleep he managed to get were silent like death. In a way it was redemptory of the nightmares he got almost every night but at the same time now Odysseus felt both relieved and horrified that his nightmares returned. Of course the nightly screams were making him almost lose his wit in sorrow and terror and yet now he felt like he finally was returning to himself; he was becoming again Odysseus; a human with feelings and regrets and memories. He was no longer an empty sack for the use of a goddess…and yet… He looked at the corner. The light was enough to show to him there was nothing there and yet as the flame flickered he could still imagine the tall figure of his friend Polites there…

“Odysseus…” he had moaned in his dream, “…It hurts…it’s cold…”

As tears flew once more from his already tear-burnt eyes, Odysseus held his head as he leaned forward on his bed.

“I know…” he whispered, “I know my friend…I’ve been there….I know… I’m so sorry…f-forgive me…”

He knew he would join them one day…then he would face them properly and apologize properly for what happened…but not yet…not yet. He had promised to himself he would survive no matter what… He would join them…just not yet…

Eventually he fell asleep…with the flickering light of the oil lamp by his side…

Sending away the horrors of the night… The Shadows and the Screams

***

So guys yet another short fic I made out of a random inspiration but it couldn't be more fitting since in June we are supposed to memorize the Men's Mental Health Month which is often forgotten in the background, unfortunately. Now I am not the type of person to do many "month related things" because I believe no month can include so many messages but I felt someone needed to make something for mental health related and trauma especially for men as it is often overlooked or brushed off.

So as the title implies, Odysseus is having nightmares about everything that he feels guilty of or things that traumatized him and gets a nightly visitor.

In the Odyssey, Odysseus spends the first night in Scheria anonymous without telling anyone who he is. The king was so impressed by the way he talked and conducted himsel that he suggested him to marry his daughter which he had declined. Then he is offered a bed to rest for the night so this is basically where the scene takes place

I name a few of Odysseus's comrades here. Unfortunately most of his comrades remain anonymous in the Odyssey minus Eurylochus, Polites, Elpinor and Perimedes (the lattest is the one who secures him even further during the sirens adventure, helping Eurylochus). The rest of the names are apparently mentioned by the Byzantine writer John Tzetzes (Ιωάννης Τζέτζης) in his book "Allegories of the Odyssey". They are the names of the other 5 survivors, except for Eurylochus, that escaped Polyphemus cave.

I don't know why but I imagined Polites big and strong looking man for this one. In fact most of adaptations of Polites make him very big and muscular man instead and I liked the idea of him being more intimidating looking and yet with a kind heart. Opposing him, I imagined Eurylochus with not so much evolved physique and his height about the same as Odysseus, making him also average-sized man. Again I have no idea why.

Circe's description is a random thing that doesn't need to be final. I was just inspired by the classic song "Jolene" in which speaks of a woman of Auburn hair and Green eyes. It might change in the future.

Calypso is mentioned to my other fic "Survivor's Guilt and Survivor's Duty" which you can read in 3 parts at my pinned post (at the same post you can see my outtake of Palamedes to my other 3 part story "Guilt"

Soooo yeah that's it! I hope you liked the gore and the drama. Please let me know!! ^_^

As I said before this looks so sacred ❤️ There’s such a touching, reverent energy to this. The scale really brings out how small Ean’tu must feel standing before the remnants of his clan and the loss, but also the peace after the storm… it hits so deep. The fallen torch and the mats with the fire stones give a hint to the life that used to be here. The place has been quiet for a long time. It's a bittersweet remaining piece of an old memory. And I love how the bright color of the flowers contrasts with everything else.

There’s something so redemptory and poetic about him returning here with a human as his mate/wife. It feels like a new beginning for everyone, a new generation that chose a better path of peace. His Alitawe ancestors would smile at him. And it's so sweet that he relies on Ana to support and accompany him through his trauma. Truly beautiful work 🫶🫶

Concept art from the cave wall from the Alitawe village, where everyone who had their coming of age leaves a handprint 💜

This picture is sad tho, coz it shows the first time Ean'tu comes back to his old village. Everything is distroyed and all the good memories he had are overshadowed from his trauma. But this special wall is still intact and he looks up at it and remembers all the people he lost. Family and friends. His brothers and sisters.

The other 2 clans (Yekape and Zeynuma) came here and left some flowers to mourn the many dead Alitawe. They also lost friend and Family with them.

Ean'tu could have never come here without Ana. He was so afraid to come back at the place where the roots of his trauma are laying. Where the Humans raided his home. But he is not alone, he brought his Love Ana with him, coz she gives him hold.

I hope you like my concept and enjoys the artwork 💜

Some reeealy quick sketch ✨

If you don't mind, I'd like to ask some other questions regarding the Keyanga clan. 👉👈

How are the men for the harem chosen? Does the queen handpick them, and is there a mutual agreement? Or are there trials to determine whether they are worthy of being consorts?

What did you base this concept on? Is there any record of polyandry in African regions? Or is this something original?

Hello, of course you can ask always! I am just a bit slower to answer, coz this is a project with @yararts and we work on everything together. 💜

The Queen chooses the men she wants in her Harem. However, each man can decide for himself whether to accept the invitation. There is no punishment for refusing the queen's offer. All the men in her harem have chosen the queen and love her in a truly romantic way. Her first husband, with whom she entered into a lifelong bond, has died. She has no bond with the other men in the traditional sense, yet she loves each and every one of them. The men are also NOT in resentment among themselves. They support each other and all help with the children.

In Angola history, where we also drew a lot of inspiration, especially because Yara knows a lot about it because she is Angolan, it was very common for men to live in polygamy with multiple wives. However, since we have a matriarchy in our clan, meaning only women rule, we reversed the positions. It should also be noted that it is not stipulated that it has to be only men. The reigning queen of the Keyanga is free to choose which people she wants to love and therefore have as part of her harem. The Keyanga are also free to have multiple wives or men. Love, loyalty, and peace are very important to the Keyanga. They are a free, peaceful people with a strong leader.

I would also like to point out that even though we are orienting ourselves towards cultures, not everything is 1:1. We want to give ourselves creative freedom to further explore the fact that the Na'vi are an alien species from a sci-fi fantasy universe and to come up with new exciting things. 💜🥰

They are so cute 😍 Colonel's weakness is cuteness 😂❤️

One more Quaritch and Ava artwork 💜🥺

I second this completely!! The most unfair thing ever!!!!

Continuing from Part 2

Guilt (P3 + Footnotes)

"Odysseus" Meriones approached him, "Are you alright?"

Odysseus winced in pain. He hadn't realized he had clenched his fist so hard that it hurt him. He unclenched it.

"Yes..." he whispered, "Yes, I'm fine..."

Odysseus moaned. That baby...the look at that infant's face...Astyanax was gone...he had given his place to Telemachus. Priam's slain face was Laërtes...mourning Andromache was his wife... He grasped his head with both hands.

"Damn you Neoptolemus! Damn you Helen for starting it! Damn you Menelaus for dragging me into this... Damn you Palamedes! Damn you all! Why should I have taken this blood upon me?! Why did it have to be me?!"

He sighed.

"Polites...I want to be alone for a little while..."

"Do you think that is wise...?" Polites asked with hidden meaning.

"Wise!" Odysseus voiced like an echo, "No, perhaps not but I got tired of being wise for now..."

Polites sighed.

"At least add some water to your wine...please Odysseus"

Odysseus dismissed him with a move of his hand. He wasn't much in the mood for anything at that moment. He knew war wouldn't be pleasant but these events of just one night were taking the cake. He was exhausted; sleepless for two nights and a full day and right now the Sacker of Cities, the Man of Many Ways was terrified. He collapsed again and his tears overflowed from his eyes, wetting the table below. He grasped his wet hair with his fingers as if he was ready to uproot them.

"Gods! Please Athena, please, I beg of you...if you love me...p-protect my son! Let the miasma fall on me! Not him! I-I...I just wanted to g-go home! I just wanted to see them again...my Penelope...my Telemachus...! I-I never meant for this to happen! P-Please...! I beg of you if you love me...p-protect my son! Don't let the gods' wrath fall upon their heads! P-Please...! F-Forgive me! I...I just...I just wanted to go home!"

He couldn't decide what to pray for first... Words cascaded out of his mouth without any coherent way or syntax. He only prayed desperately, wetting with his tears the table. Sun was already setting and Troy was taken...but at what cost...

*

Menelaus and Agamemnon entered Odysseus's hut one after the other.

"I gotta give it to you, Odysseus!" Agamemnon said, "You WERE telling the truth when you said you could take Troy in one night!"

Odysseus was collapsed upon his chair, looking at them with an unreadable expression to his face. The jug was resting empty somewhere after the feet of his seat.

"Hm..." he hummed, "That's me. I am the trickster, remember? I lie, I scheme and I trick. That is what I do"

Agamemnon raised a brow.

"Are you drunk?!" He asked in disbelief

"One more shame to add to the events of this night..." Odysseus replied bitterly.

"Shame? I do not understand. We finally sacked the city. You can finally go home."

"Home..." Odysseus whispered, "I wonder...what shall I say to Penelope when she asks? Or Telemachus? If he asks 'father what did you do and you were away?', 'I was at war, my son', 'did you fight honorably and sack many cities?'... What shall I say for what we've done...?"

"I do not understand you Odysseus. It was your idea"

"Yeah somehow I do not doubt it..." Odysseus mumbled bitterly, "I was wrong, Agamemnon. This was not what I imagined...what I planned..."

He sighed shifting his position a bit to his chair.

"Priam is dead, you know that..."

"Yeah, like we expected to-..."

"On the altar. On the freaking altar, Agamemnon..."

"Yeah I heard..."

"Imagine that happening to any of us...in our homelands. If one cannot respect the holy laws then what?"

He played a bit with his empty cup.

"Priam murdered on the altar...Cassandra raped mercilessly and now Ajax looks for shelter to the very same altar he dragged her out of, to avoid being stoned to death..." the king of Ithaca rubbed the bridge of his nose, "...death...death and fire everywhere..."

"Odysseus..." spoke Menelaus, "I understand that you are grieving, it was not easy or pleasant but..."

"The boy...he was the same age as my son! Thrown off the wall..."

"Odysseus" Agamemnon spoke again, "I honestly don't understand you. Others would fly from joy with your glory. You had a good plan and it worked. Thanks to you we can all go home."

Odysseus's eyes became bottomless. Even Agamemnon had to lower his gaze against it.

"The blasphemy put us under the anger of gods, Agamemnon. Remember that. Listen..."

Agamemnon seemed like indeed trying to listen something.

"The Trojans are not the only ones mourning. We lost many good men too. We lost Achilles. Or have you forgotten?"

Agamemnon sighed deeply.

"His loss...was tragic indeed" he finally said, "we had our differences but his loss was a great price..."

"Quite so..." Odysseus whispered, "was it really worth it? The price we had to pay to sack Troy?"

He shifted his weight to his chair lethargically. He rubbed his forehead with his free hand for a second. The dizziness bad settled for real in his brain. He leaned his head back again, earning a small cracking sound from his neck.

"And since we are at it, I have a question for you, Agamemnon, son of Atreus, the first among the Greeks... What did the Trojans REALLY do to us to deserve such an end?"

"You're drunk! You don't know what you're talking about!"

Odysseus snorted humorlessly.

"Oh, I am drunk, alright. But I know exactly what I am talking about. And you do too. They took Helen, sure, or at least one of them did. But their real crime against us was that they protected their lands...from us. That's what we would have done as well..."

Agamemnon was ready to speak again but Menelaus stopped him.

"Brother, that's enough"

He then turned ti Odysseus sympathetically.

"Look, Odysseus, I understand that it hurts and I am sorry too that I put you through that indirectly, but please do not melt away. No matter what the actions of others was not your choice."

Odysseus said nothing. He only sighed.

"Will you join us at the games later? You are the hero of the day. Your presence is asked for."

Odysseus scoffed.

"Oh I will be there, alright. I never miss a good party!"

Menelaus smiled sadly.

"Thank you, Odysseus...for everything. I really mean it... I will see you later, when you sober up a little..."

He looked at his friend and added;

"And...we shall mention none...of this" he pointed at him indicating his condition.

Odysseus soullessly nodded as if wanting to attempt some humor.

"Thanks...I appreciate it"

Agamemnon was ready to say something but apparently he decided against it. He only sighed and turned to leave before finally asking;

"Will you come to take a pick from the spoils? You deserve it given it was thanks to you we got in"

The tired king made a dismissive move with his hand.

"No. I'm fine with whatever. Just include me to the next lottery" he replied indifferently

"Are you sure? You deserve a better share"

Odysseus smiled humorlessly.

"Last time I chose and defended my choice, we lost Aias the Telamonian. I think we lost enough for one decade, don't you think?"

It was a failure of attempt for humor and he knew it but Agamemnon only sighed.

"Suit yourself" he said defeated, heading for the exit

Menelaus was about to do the same but apparently something made him stop and turn around.

"Odysseus?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you...truly... You gave me back my honor

Odysseus snorted again.

"With the cost of mine..." he whispered bitterly, "Not that anyone ever thought I had any..."

The king of Sparta, though, shook his head negatively.

"To me you will always be the greatest of all Greeks"

The man who endured all torments looked up and for the first tike a small smile rose to his dry lips. That word of kindness was what he needed for his tormented heart to feel some sort of hope. At least there was finally one who neither blamed him nor glorified him. Menelaus saw his torment and responded. That was enough.

"Thank you..." he whispered

Menelaus nodded his head in return.

"Now rest, my friend. We have a long way before us...we are going home..."

Home...the tormented king of Ithaca thought. Yes, finally they could go home. After 10 endless years they could finally embrace their families. Just few more months of journey and Odysseus could finally go home... All he had to do was to learn to live with what he did... He watched both the kings through his cloudy vision, getting out of his tent and Polites coming back in.

"I am sorry, Odysseus! I couldn't stop them!"

Odysseus dismissed him with a hand gesture once more.

"Don't sweat it, Polites. Stopping a king seems impossible. Gods help us with two!"

Polites smiled softly. At least he would gain some of his humor back, he thought.

"Help me get to my bed, Polites..." sighed Odysseus hoarsely, "I need to rest... I am very tired..."

~~~~

Oh gosh what have I done?! Hehehehe well not sorry...not really! 😆 I hope you enjoyed this ride.

As you see I tried incorporating some of the Epic Cycle to the situation but I did tamper around with the timeliness. The Epic Cycle is a lovely mess anyways and holds many contradictions with the homeric poems but it includes many things.

Now the fragmentary poem Iliou Persis is sven mentioned how Odysseus throws Astyanax off the walls but most sources have Neoptolemus donit and I do agree with those more. Now in Trojan Women by Eurypedes the messenger Talthybius tells Andromache that Odysseus schemed so that her son would be thrown off the walls and that he persuaded the Greeks they couldn't raise the baby. Odysseus doesn't strike much as a baby killer in Odyssey or even the Iliad although he is known for being cruel in his punishments (see the excecution of the 50 conspiring slave girls) but nowhere jn Odyssey does Odysseus refer to that fact even if he does speak of his regrets for other actions of his and if he HAD thrown Astyanax off the walls himself I doubt he wouldn't have made any reference to it so I believe that Iliou Persis should he treated like Telegony when it comes to the homeric poems; a bit contradictory to the homeric epics (unless there is some lost fragment that tells us how Odysseus went on a rampage he could not remember lol 😆 ) so I made a mixture of all the above to show how Odysseus "killed" Astyanax or subconsciously persuaded the Greeks to do it and I added the role of Talthybius here too.

Iliou Persis seems to also be the most violent form when it comes to the Greek side such as that they offer Priam's daughter Polyxene to Achilles's tomb as a sacrifice, thus causing the rage of Athena (I swear the thing was written by a Trojan lol 😆) Eurypedes mentions how Polyxene was offered as slave to Achilles symbolically so she should serve his tomb. I also added the detail of Odysseus trying to persuade Neoptolemus to choose her as his price to speak Andromache but his attempts are a failure.

Drunkenness was severely discouraged in ancient geeece thus the concern in Polites's words when Odysseus uses it as a coping mechanism for the traumatic events of the night. Moreover the Greeks always mixed their wine with water (thus having the modern name for wine in Greek κρασί which comes from the verb in ancient greek which means "to mix") the wine that was not watered was called άκρατον and it was qlmost never consumed unless dipped in bread. The analogy between wine and water depended.

In this story I depict Neoptolemus as somehow a nemesis to Odysseus. Similar to what Agamemnon or Hector were for Achilles. I have no idea why but the idea stuck with me especially since the two are the two candidates for the murder of Astyanax. Somehow I imagined them again as the polar opposites thus the two of them having tension.

Odysseus mentions Thersites who was beaten really badly by him in the Iliad. In other sources it is mentioned that Odysseus has him stoned to death after Theraites attempts treason. In this story Thersites was already dead.

I know that for Palamedes the most famous version of his end comes from Hygenius who writes how Odysseus frames him for treason. However Pausanias mentions from the Epic Cycle that Palamedes drowned at a fishing expedition and that "he believes the murderers were Odysseus and Diomedes". 🤔 somehow I wanted to use a lesser known version plus give a bit room to doubt for instance did Palamedes really fell by accident and Odysseus is guilty for not helping? Or perhaps Odysseus pushed him? Maybe he held him under? Dunno. Leave it to your imagination. I know is not so spicy as the framing story but bare with me hehehe

Talthybius here simply hears "it was Odysseus who planned it" thus sending that information yo Andromache without the rest of the details..

Astyanax uttering a word was totally random. If he were an infant a few months old or almost a year old in Iliad that means he would be around 1 to 1.5 years old when Troy fell so I thought it would be more impactful if the poor baby uttered a word before his end.

The interaction with Andromache was placed there for the dramatics and the impact. When Andromache screams "MY BOY!" I was inspired by the series "The Tudors" when Anne Boleyn laments her final miscarriage (by the way I think Natalie Dormer would make an amazing Andromache!)

The story with Palamedes was also added to make the connection between two mothers and their impact to Odysseus. Plus I thought it would make more sense if Odysseus was furious not only for being embarrassed or that he has to go to war but because Palamedes put his son in danger. (Of course Penelope would be part of that scheme!)

Odysseus refusing to participate at the choice of spoils was just a random detail but as a general rule from Eurypedes it seems that he eats the old Ekavi (Hecuba) as his slave (probably she would be to serve Penelope( so I imagined Odysseus wouldn't want to choose but getting whatever would be lucky for him to further implicate that he wouldn't want anything further to do with the war. He also mentions the incident when Telamonian Aias (aka the great Ajax) went mad when Odysseus won Achilles's armor from him and then he killed himself in shame.

I also wanted to portray the friendship between Menelaus and Odysseus which seems to be really strong since Menelaus always talks with the warmest words for Odysseus.

For further questions and analysis please ask me to the comment section or reblog etc!

I wanna also tag some of my best friends commenters rebloggers etc! Thank you guys! Sorry if I forget anyone!

@loco-bird @aaronofithaca05 @tunguszka20 @doob-or-something @jarondont @prompted-wordsmith @simugeuge @fangirlofallthefanthings

Had to make an Avatar version for these two as well because I have no restraint :3

Assara is a reef Na'vi who has chosen a life of self-exile, distancing herself from her people because of differences of beliefs. She shuns both Na'vi and Humans alike, indifferent to their conflicts, and finds solace in the isolation of her remote island. Her solitude is disrupted when Liora, a marine biologist working for the RDA, stumbles upon her intrigued by the sight of a towering Na'vi woman living without a clan.

When Assara first notices the sky-woman's boat, she reacts with hostility, attempting to attack her and drive her away. Things change however after Assara is mauled by an Akula. Assara drags herself to the beach wounded and Liora rushes to shore with a medkit, pleading to be allowed to help. Once again Assara is hostile but eventually and reluctantly she accepts Liora's aid.

From that moment on a connection begins to form. Assara and Liora realize they are both outcasts in their own ways. Liora arrives on Pandora driven by a desire to help Earth’s people, but she disagrees with many of the RDA’s methods and chooses to work alone and far from their base, while Assara has chosen to leave her people behind, seeking the freedom to live life on her own terms, away from judgment and demands. Slowly they grow closer, finding comfort, companionship, and eventually something deeper in each other.

Maybe I'll write something for this as well ❤️