The Time Before - Vivianne Peretti

masterlist here

Vivi and Alfred Munson, fresh out of high school

Just married- Vivi and Al in the driveway of their Indiana home

1,469 words

an: hey! this one's been in my drafts for a super long time, sorry about the wait! I hope you enjoy!

cw: mentions of abuse, fighting, aggression, characterological self-blame (CSB), weird age gaps (Let me know if I missed any!)

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"Your mama was one of the most beautiful girls on earth. Or at least, we all thought so back in high school. She was from California, and she had the prettiest blonde hair. When she first moved out to Georgia, she had brown, mousy hair. But she said that she hated it so much she was gonna dye it blonde. And that's what she did.

"All of us boys used to go crazy over her. She was so new and interesting and had so many stories to tell about California that we all fought over talking with her. And when prom season came around; whew! You should have seen how many guys asked her.

"We were fascinated by her. She was always hip and cool and into the newest things. While the rest of us were playing sports or doing clubs at school, she was listening to rock n' roll records and partying with her friends. She's where you get your spunk from. And your taste in music. If she could see you now... my god, would she be impressed," Wayne said. "Really?" Eddie asked. "Are you kidding me? Having a son like you? She would be talking you up left and right, kid.

"Your mama always wanted kids. She once told me she wanted to have four boys. Can you imagine? Four? As much as all of us guys were crazy about her, she was crazy about kids. And she loved you. I know that much. Don't ever think she didn't, kid. She always loved you.

"When that woman knew what she wanted, she knew. And there was nothing you could do to change her mind about it. That's what your daddy liked about her so much. She was strong-willed and stubborn, just like him. But you know what happens when you put two strong-willed people in a room together..."

~~~

The year was 1967, and Vivianne was trapped.

The boy she had loved, the boy who spent four years of his life waiting for her, the boy whom she had married, the boy who had given her a child, had suddenly turned on her.

In a violent rage, Al had slapped her across the face. She couldn't even remember what they were fighting about; it was something small, something about dishes. She justified it to herself; she had egged him on, not stopping the argument when she saw his knuckles turn white while clenching the kitchen countertops. She hadn't stopped when the arguing turned into yelling, or after it kept escalating until boiling over. She hadn't stopped, she informed herself. She was at fault for this, not him. Besides, it was just one time.

But after the weeks passed and it didn't stay a one-time occurrence, she slowly began to recognize the shift that took place in Al. It happened right after their son, Eddie, was born. Eddie. She adored him. In her eyes, the sun and moon rose and fell at the mercy of this child. Her child. She coddled him, spending every waking minute with him attached to her hip or in her arms. She saw to it that he never cried, never was unhappy, never hurt, never was scared, and never felt sad.

She watched Al become bitter towards her and the baby. He began to pick fights with her over small things. The fact that the bed was unmade, that the kitchen table had crumbs on it, that the dishes hadn't been dried yet. He pestered her and followed her around, criticizing her every move. His requests were unrealistic and absurd; but when she chose to tell him that he would become irrationally angry.

At first, she chalked it up to both new-parent-nervousness and some jealousy over how much time she was spending with the baby. She figured that Al was used to all of her affection; late-afternoon love-making and morning chats in bed. Long drives out to the middle of nowhere, just for the hell of it. But now there was a baby to take care of, things to do, chores to be handled. Al was holding down a job at the mining company ten miles north, and the time he had at home was not spent wrapped up in his wife's affections.

Maybe he was nervous about taking care of the baby. It was new to him. Yes. That was it. Stress and nervousness were the factors that fueled his violence. Maybe if he were less stressed, he would be less angry all the time. She resolved to be a model wife; to live according to the rules of the white picket fence and the sundresses with aprons layered on top. She wanted so badly to be one of the women who had a pot roast waiting in the oven when her husband got home; to keep the house perfectly clean, to straighten his tie and kiss him on the cheek before he left for work in the morning.

And she tried. Oh, how desperately she tried. For a while, she even wore sundresses and aprons. But after the rain fell on the clothesline and the pot roast settled too long in the oven and burnt; she received the same reaction from Al; the yelling, the screaming. Every word that he said rang true in her mind. Then came the Big Anger.

She started to classify his rage into two sections; Little Anger and Big Anger. Although they shared certain qualities, they were very alike. Little Anger consisted of screaming and yelling. Big Anger was when Al began to throw things or hit. Unless she could calm him; which she usually couldn't, Little Anger would morph into Big Anger. There was yelling; then a fist through the wall. There was screaming; then there was a vase chucked at her head.

For two years, this continued. For two years, Vivianne was so stuck on thinking that she still loved the man she used to, that this was still the same man, that she let herself get beat up. She didn't even try to fight back, because she knew that it would do nothing but make him more angry.

The worse the abuse seemed to get, the more Vivianne retracted herself. She had a small place in her mind; a getaway paradise for when it all became too much. She imagined herself in the life she wanted to live; a small, perfect family of three, living in a house in a nice neighborhood with a big backyard where Eddie could run around.

Eddie. After two years of abuse, Eddie was her breaking point. It only happened once. It only had to happen once. When Al smacked the small boy over the head, citing the fact that he had knocked over a can of beer that was hovering dangerously close to the edge of the coffee table anyway, Vivianne saw red. After cursing her husband out and successfully ducking the punches he threw her way, she decided it was time. Time to set her and her son free. She didn't think she could ever stand to see her baby cry like that ever again.

That night, curled up in a rocking chair with a crying Eddie in her arms, she promised. 'I'll get you out, baby. I promise, okay? It may take me some time, but I'll get you safe. I love you too much, baby,' she cooed while pressing her cheek against his head.

~~~

As the years passed, she watched the abuse continue. Al started to hand it out regularly to both her and Eddie. With each passing day, the cracks on the surface of her heart deepened. She couldn't stand to hear another yelp or cry of pain from her little boy. She cared more for him than she did the heavens above, and she knew that watching this happen was slowly killing them both.

Right before Eddie turned ten, she confided in the only plan she could think of; Wayne. Wayne was Al's younger brother, whom she had known when they were in high school. She was actually closer in age to Wayne, and she knew now that she should have gone with him instead of with his older brother. But she had wanted Al. She couldn't, even now, put her finger on exactly what had drawn her to Al. Was it is bad reputation? The maturity she felt when telling other freshman girls that she was dating a senior? The reason escaped her.

But she knew now that Wayne was her last chance to get her child out of this. Her time had passed; she had made her bed, and now she must lie in it. But Eddie? She couldn't bear it. He had so much more life to live, and so many gifts to share with the world, that wouldn't happen or be released if he was stuck here. She had already kept him here too long because, selfishly, she wanted to hold him close to her. She wanted to hug and kiss him and tuck him in at night. But it became clear to her that it would hurt him more to stay than it would hurt her to leave.

So, in the middle of the night, she packed his things into a small backpack, carried him out to her car, started up the engine, and sped quietly off to Hawkins, Indiana.

It was a short drive; she and Al had taken up residence just 20 minutes outside Hawkins because they liked the scenery when they first bought the house. Now, it was a decrepit and lonely wood; but when they first moved in, it felt full of life.

That was how she felt. Once she had been beautiful and hungry to live; now she, too, was decrepit. The years of stress and abuse had aged her. She looked and felt older, she didn't read or play with her son any longer. She was now only doing the things she needed to do in order to survive. This thought made tears brim in her eyes as she drove down the dark and winding roads into Hawkins, her son asleep in the backseat.

When she first had him, she imagined a happy life for him. One where he could do anything he ever dreamed of doing, one where he was free. Now, she saw, that her son would never be free. These shackles in which she had borne him would live in his heart forever. He could never truly have complete serenity in his life. Her heart ached with guilt, feeling as if she had done this to him. If she hadn't stayed with Al or even if she had married someone else, his life could have been different. Both their lives could have been different.

~~~

She pulled into the trailer park, the soft rain pattering the car roof. She turned off the engine and sat in the front seat for a while, staring at the darkness that enveloped the world in front of her. She took a deep yet shaky breath, opened her door, and entered the dark, cold night.

There was a chill in the air as she slung Eddie's backpack over her shoulder and shook him gently. "C'mon, Eds, up we go," she said, taking hold of both of his hands and walking him out of the car. The small child was only partially awake, yet knew to follow his mother as she tugged his hand softly to the wooden stairs of his uncle's trailer.

As they waited quietly at the front door, she ran her hands through the small mop of curls on his head. They may have been the same, but they could not have looked more different. She, with her blonde wavy locks, and him with deep brown curls. She, with ocean-blue eyes. He, with eyes so brown it looked like they went on forever. Now those eyes looked onto hers with a deep, intense curiosity. His eyes asked all the questions his voice did not; Where am I? What are we doing here? Where are you going to go? Are you going to leave? "It's all going to be okay. Promise," she said, sticking out her pinky. He hooked his own pinky into hers and the promise was sealed.

Looking older and tired than Vivi had remembered, Wayne opened the door begrudgingly. He took the sight before him in. The two shadows of his past were now on his doorstep. Eddie had taken refuge behind his mother’s leg and was watching the man as he chatted with his mother. He welcomed them inside, and Vivianne coaxed Eddie into the doorway with her. "I'm sorry, he's shy. Eddie, say hello to your uncle," she spoke in a very soft, comforting tone. Eddie waved slightly at the older man, who chuckled and waved back. Vivianne squatted in front of Eddie, handing him his backpack that was still over her shoulder. "Uncle Wayne and I are gonna have a talk, okay? Why don't you go and sit on the couch?" she said. He agreed, walking skittishly over to the brown leather couch.

"Wayne, I know this is a lot to ask. I understand I'm coming to you with a lot of stuff. But I am truly afraid for him. Al's gonna put me in the ground. I know he's going to. And I have to live with the mistakes that I've made. But goddamnit, I will not let him touch my baby. If I leave him with Al, his fate will be as good as sealed. I don't think that I could ever forgive myself for that," Vivi explained, tears following the words, as she sat at the table across from Wayne. "I know you have a life, Wayne, and that this is probably the last thing you need, but just for a few months. After I'm gone, you can put him in an orphanage or in foster care or whatever you want to do. Just let me die with the hope that he's safe, okay?"

Wayne barely stopped to think before he agreed. Something deep inside of him compelled him to say yes, to keep the small boy sitting on his couch safe.

Upon the soil of his daughter's grave, he could plant a new seed, a seed that would this time flourish into a tree, sprouting its branches up toward the sun.

rockstar eddieverse masterlist

follow the tag #enam3ls rockstar eddie to get new update alerts! check timeline below to know the order of things.

rockstar eddie munson fucking hates tommy lee (ficlet?)

the story of eddie x readers life-long beef with tommy lee

these days, rockstar eddie doesn’t give a fuck (headcanon story)

in the year 2022, eddie munson is a husband, dad and oh yeah – a rockstar but now he’s in his 50s, he really just doesn’t give a fuck what people think

rockstar eddie does Halloween (headcanon story)

from celebrating his first halloween with you to the present day, all of eddie’s annual Halloween antics

rockstar eddie doesn’t Halloween pt.2 (4k / smut)

in 1992 a certain halloween costume gets you in trouble with your boyfriend eddie

rockstar eddie’s purpose in life was becoming a dad (headcanon story)

an intro to dad rockstar eddie and his daughters for the first time ever

rockstar eddie’s friends in the industry (ficlet)

eddie hates tommy lee but he’s also got lots of friends and others he admires – how they meet metallica

rockstar eddie munson thinks any music is good music if it makes you happy (ficlet)

eddie loves taking you to see your fave gigs and festivals then later your kids too

the big one: how rockstar eddie met his wife (y/n) (11.7k / fluffy love)

in an interview in november 1999, eddie and wife y/n tell a journalist how you met by pure coincidence on February 11th 1989

rockstar eddie’s lipstick stained shirt (2.6k / smut)

in July 1993 corroded coffin are performing in vegas and a surprise from eddie results in you struggling to keep it in your pants

rockstar eddie has a new member for the band (headcanon story)

as you’re pregnant with your first baby Sloane, you worry how being a dad rockstar will work and how other musicians will react

rockstar eddie munson is gonna get the girl and god help anyone who stops him (9.6k / angst / fluff / slight smut)

direct follow up to how you and eddie met for the first time. after spending all your time together, in august 1989 you take your first holiday together and trouble ensues

the munson kids and their friendships with other rockstar’s kids (blurb)

little notes and answered questions

eddie’s queer daughter Sloane (1) (2)

eddie’s middle daughter iris (1)

eddie deals with season 4 (1)

eddie’s industry pals and views (1) (2) (3)

935 notes View Post

xxforestfairyxx

2 years ago

“The gang want the traumas of that world to die with them.”

UGGHH on the hecking floor

in rockstar!eddie-verse I know the CIA & shit was heavily involved in the coverup of hawkins & eddie’s past there but do you think eddie would ever open up to reader about everything that went down later in their relationship 👀

maybe it’s always been this guessing game between them about the scars on eddie’s torso where he always teasingly replies with an off the wall answer in which she always rolls her eyes in response to while waving him off

good question! i think i've maybe mentioned it and hinted at it throughout the fics but yes reader 100% knows!

**an added note: honestly i hope this doesn't spoil it but probably more than anything i'll ever write, reader's personality is v much shamelessly based on me so more or less her approach is my approach sorry

Y/N never asks about Eddie's scars because just looking at them she instinctively knows this isn't from a standard accident. As she gets to know the gang more and more, it's undeniable there is something huge that bonds them beyond friendship and she recognises not too dissimilar scars on Steve. By the time they move in together November 89, they've been together ten months and without having to discuss it particularly, they know they're going to spend the rest of their lives together. Eddie explains it all to her by December with the gangs permission.

Eddie can live with the scars since meeting y/n before she even knew their meaning she would delicately kiss them every night. Nowadays they've faded well and are mostly covered by tattoos. The biggest across his chest has yours and your daughters names covering it.

Their kids don't know and unless something happens again with the Upside Down, they'll never know. The gang want the traumas of that world to die with them. Never wanting anyone to continue to be haunted by what they know.

43 notes View Post

xxforestfairyxx

2 years ago

Oh my gosh my little gay heart <3

rockstar eddie having a lesbian daughter just makes so much sense 🥹 like yeah he really would!

RIGHT!!! Its just meant to be!!! Someone sent a request for her coming out story and I'll do that in full eventually!

Eddie loves it when Sloane comes out as a lesbian, he calls her his hero, he thinks she's the bravest person on earth. He's extra protective of her, she is his first born and can't deny he's thrilled he'll never have to deal with shitty boyfriends leering at her. Although he's bisexual, Eddie wants to make sure he can be there in every way when Sloane needs advice so is quick to approach Robin. They go for lunch where Robin can teach him a course in Sapphic 101. He wants to make sure he can still provide support and advice in all the ways he could if his daughter was dating men. Robin tells him all about safe sex, the best lesbian bars and places to find support like books and communities. He absorbs it all.

Sloane has always been outgoing and fearless, she isn't shy about her sexuality so Eddie is so shamelessly open in supporting her. A lesbian flag sticker is quick to appear on his guitar. When she's older and coming in from nights out, Eddie loves staying up with her to hear all the latest gossip from the girls. Who is sleeping with whose ex, whose got together? Eddie can't deny it, he loves the drama.

173 notes View Post

xxforestfairyxx

1 year ago

go easy on your fanfic writers.

they’re writing for free. they’re unpublished, untrained, unprofessional. they’re writing between real jobs, having families, kids.

go easy on your fanfic writers.

they’re working to a standard that paid writers rarely are held to. they’re creating fully fleshed out characters on personality alone. they’re doing their best to avoid using descriptions when writing about a person, one thing they were always told to do, the thing they always read about.

they’re trying to ignore their own experiences, their own lives to give you stories about a person without size, colour, weight, height, hair length, eye colour.

go easy on your fanfic writers.

they’re putting their heart into their works just to post it online and hope it’s received well. they’re writing thousands of words, they’re writing chapters and books. they’re nervous.

they’re worried about being called things they aren’t, they’re worried about coming under fire for something they’re not maliciously trying to do. they’re worried about someone accusing them of stealing, of plagiarising, of an anonymous grey box calling them awful things.

they’re trying their best.

this isn’t just self serving. this isn’t just a cathartic release for myself. I’ve spoken to dozens of writers in this fandom who are constantly and consistently getting hate. they’re all talented people doing this for free. for you to read. be kinder or there’s not going to be any writers left.

396 notes View Post

xxforestfairyxx

1 year ago

hey (with the intention of forcing you to read my favourite books)

3K notes View Post

xxforestfairyxx

9 months ago

43K notes View Post

xxforestfairyxx

2 years ago

UGGGGH MY HEART

billy

The Time Before - Wayne's Time in 'Nam

part 1 here

Photos not mine

997 words

an: hey! I'm so happy that people are enjoying this writing! Originally I was thinking about just making this a drabble/blurb, but with the addition of this, it will hopefully be a series! Thank you so much for your support, it means the world to me!

I had to actually do considerable research for this one, so I hope it's accurate. If there are any war buffs reading this fic (I doubt it, but if you by chance are) please let me know if I got anything wrong!

warnings: mentions of war, mentions of death, PTSD, Vietnam War

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Wayne never planned on fighting in Vietnam. He himself never liked fighting and once he was back in the US he wasn't a fan of the war.

But back when he was freshly 18, starry-eyed, and eager to impress his Pop, he enlisted.

The year was 1958, the war was only three years old, and it seemed so interesting. Fascinating, if you will. A young Wayne packed his things in a gray duffel bag that he then slung over his shoulder. He can still remember what he was wearing when he left home; a red and black plaid button-down that he still wears today, a pair of blue jeans, a pair of cargo boots, and a jacket that was draped over his arm. By the time he returned to the United States, this fashion would be so far out-of-date it made his head spin.

Most of his buddies went with him, wearing practically the same clothes as him, the same combed-back hair, the same hopeful look plastered on all their faces. That look would not be there when they returned (if they returned at all). But none of this was a worry to either Wayne or any of the five guys that went with him; Joey, Billy, Tucker, Jack, and Arthur. Tucker and Wayne had known each other the longest out of any pair in the group: they were next-door neighbors for their entire lives. Growing up in Redmont, Georgia, a town of under 1,000, everyone was practically your neighbor.

Tucker and Wayne were inseparable. Both of their mothers used to say, 'You'd think those boys were sown together at the hip, with all the time they spend together.' It was true; their entire lives were spent with each other. As kids, that meant skipping rocks in the creek and climbing trees. As teenagers, they shotgunned beers that they had stolen from Al, Wayne's older brother (he had a friend who made fake IDs, and good ones at that), jumped fences to irritate the chickens in their coop, stole cigarettes from their fathers' pockets and coats, and generally spent their days causing as much trouble as they could think up.

They all were shipped out to basic training in California first. Some of the guys were split up between different platoons, but they all saw each other often enough. These seemed minor inconveniences to them; they were ready, excited, and filled with energy.

The strictness of the rules and regulations was nothing new to Wayne, either. The high school had the strictest administration, it was said, in the entire state of Georgia and possibly the surrounding states. Their football was compared to basic training, and most of the guys had been on that team in high school, so they were not phased by anything that the Army decided to throw at them.

But once they were shipped out to Vietnam, the excitement quickly subsided. Over time, each man came to learn the price of war. The price that they each had to individually pay.

Wayne spent five years in 'Nam, fighting alongside Tucker. They were rumored to be the most indestructible duo on Vietnamese soil. But five years seemed to be Wayne's unlucky number.

He still has nightmares about the war. He used to say, 'You don't realize the price you have to pay when you're going to war. It's all fine and dandy when you enlist, and even through basic training. You don't think about the fact that in five years' time, you're going to be holding your dead best friend, his head in your lap, eyes wide open and staring right at you, somewhere in the Vietnamese wilderness with shots still coming at you.' Of course, that was when he still talked about the war at all.

After Tucker passed away, Wayne left Vietnam. He was twenty-three by that point and was sick of fighting. The effect of the excitement had worn off long ago, but once Tucker was gone, it felt hopeless. He was homesick, endlessly tired, and was done with combat.

Of the six that shipped out, only four returned; Wayne, Joey, Billy, and Jack. They finally reunited in 1965 after they had all returned to the US, deciding to indulge in the spoils of war. They traveled as a band, a crew, a group, a lineup. You didn't see one without seeing the other three close behind. They were like this for many years afterward until they scattered across the country; Wayne moved to Kansas and soon started to take care of Lisa, Jack married a young girl named Francine and they settled down together in New Hampshire (to have a whopping six children throughout their marriage), Joey stayed single, moved to Kentucky and still visits Wayne often, and Billy moved to Florida and started a family with a nice woman named Becky.

When the infamous 'make love, not war' protests started to pop up around America, Wayne found himself supporting the cause. He had never gone to war because he hated the other side or loved fighting; he had gone because everyone told him to go. Because it was all so new and shiny, and because he wanted to impress Pop. Because all of his friends were going, and because he wanted the glory. But in reality, he always felt bad when he was over there. There was always a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when he saw the destruction that people suffered at his hands. The main reason he stayed was because of Tucker. Tucker made it nostalgic. Fighting with Tucker reminded him of being a teenager and hopping Mr. Luschogi's fence to tip his cows in the middle of the night. It felt mischievous and a little dangerous, and it gave him a huge adrenaline rush. But without Tucker, he didn't get to keep those blinders on. He saw, plain and simple, that he was hurting people. And that was never what Wayne signed up for.

The Time Before - Vivianne Peretti