Checking My Phone Like Someone’s Actually Gonna Text 💀

everybody talks about Will flipping his lid over the death sibs or Jason not being vaccinated or similar, but I think the true thing that would make Will nearly pass away on the spot is finding out that Hazel has a completely unaddressed fainting condition that may or may not be seizures that she has absolutely never gotten checked out in any capacity and just kind of shrugged off when they "stopped."

look me in the eyes and tell me Will wouldn't absolutely lose his shit that Hazel has NEVER gotten it checked out or even went to anybody after collapsing in case she hurt herself while falling. He'd be getting her a medical bracelet asap.

forever pushing the harry "my mummy will hear about this" potter agenda btw. you thought draco was bad? try harry if lily lived. like...harry scrapes his knee? "mummy my knee!!" harry breaks a window? "mummy i'm sorry!!" draco is rude to him? "mum i hate him!!" snape is an asshole? "mum my potions professor!!" and ofc lily rushes in every time to solve all harry's problems for him.

like. harry is lily's number one fan. he brags about her constantly. he is worse than draco could ever be. "your dad bought the quidditch team brooms?? well my MUM killed VOLDEMORT!!" "your mum owns an apothecary?? my mum has a mastery in charms AND potions." and lily is just as bad!! "did you know my son's the youngest seeker in a century?" "that's my son right there, top marks in defense you know" they are ridiculous. they are the mother son duo ever.

my new favorite hobby

“you’re always crashing out” god forbid i have a hobby

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

“Oh how do you stay positive when the world is so awful how can you stay positive when our lives are falling apart-“ SPITE!!!!! ITS SPITE GODDAMN IT!!! REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE ANGRY AT THE WORLD AS A TEENAGER?? THAT KID WAS RIGHT AND YES IT FUCKING SUCKS AND NO, ITS NOT FAIR, SO YOU HAVE TO KEEP TRYING TO MAKE IT FAIR!!!!

In this AU Harry starts seeing a Muggle therapist, one who remains completely unfazed by everything he says. Dragons, Horcruxes, Death eaters? The therapist calmly nods, assuming it’s all metaphor. Meanwhile, Harry speaks with complete sincerity, telling the literal truth. (maybe will do a series if you guys like it, I will maybe try other characters too lol)

Session One : The Origin

Harry: "It all started when I was eleven. A giant broke down my door and told me I was a wizard."

Therapist (nodding thoughtfully): "Ah. The giant could symbolize your inner potential crashing through childhood repression."

Harry: "No, I mean literally. Hagrid. Half-giant."

Therapist: "You’ve given your inner strength a name. Beautiful."

Nico: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this.

Will: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

Reblog if you genuinely support asexuals

It terrifies me that there’s so much raging passion in the lgbt+ community that insist on marginalizing asexuals and implying that asexuals don’t deserve to have safe spaces. There’s still so much acephobia so I just wanna know which blogs are genuinely supportive and a safe space for asexuals

that pistachio completely sealed in its shell is scared and alone, like a miner trapped by rubble. you need to free it by any means necessary. get the gun from your dad's cabinet

Sometimes I think about harry smuggling a dragon, breaking the statute of secrecy, committing identity theft, aiding and abetting a criminal's escape, training and leading a secret group, breaking and entering the ministry, destroying ministry property, stalking, assault, impersonation, committing bank robbery, torture, murder etc and sigh dreamily.