Steve’s House In The Show Vs. Steve’s House In My Head

Steve can do the cherry stem trick, because of course he can. Of course he can

He spent a stupid amount of time when he was younger trying to learn how to do it; ate a ridiculous number of cherries and just sort of started sticking them stem and all into his mouth, eating the cherry, and then working on the stem. He has 100% forgotten it’s not just a thing people do, so now that’s just kind of how he eats them - puts the whole thing in his mouth, eats the cherry, and ties a knot in the stem the same way someone might fiddle with a twist tie

The first time Eddie sees him do this, he sees Steve stick the fruit in his mouth without removing the stem and just start chewing and it’s like

Eddie: Did you just eat the… Steve, absently pulling a knotted cherry stem out of his mouth: Sorry, what? Eddie: Eddie: How are you even a real person

He spends the next three to five business days trying to get the thought out of his head. He’s absolutely disgusted with himself; it’s such a stereotypical flirting trick, it’s such a move, but for some reason it’s fucking working on him

(Robin has lowkey been waiting for Eddie to find out about this. She saw Steve do it multiple times with the maraschino cherries when they worked at Scoops and thought he was flirting with her at first before she realized he just… Does That. Like a weirdo.)

I just realized something sad about Hades.

Ok so, in Rome Zeus, Poseidon and Hades names are Jupiter, Neptune and Pluto. Which are the same names as the planets in our solar system, except Pluto isn't considered a planet, just like how Hades isn't considered an Olympian😭

The head of the healing coven has never been around Hunter for more than a few minutes at a time, mostly because Belos forbids that the two of them interact for some strange reason, but the few times they’ve gotten close to Hunter always reveals something concerning about the golden guard.

And I’m not just talking about the healing coven head noticing Hunter’s scars. I’m talking about the head of the healing coven noticing the weird quirks of Hunter’s grimwalker biology.

The first thing they notice is his fireproof skin. It’s not that weird at first glance, many demons have a slight resistance to fire, but the concerning part is just how strong that fireproof skin is. The demons that have some fireproofing built into their bodies aren’t completely immune to fire and they can still be burned with enough of it. Hunter is not only completely fireproof, but can walk through the boiling rain and swim through the boiling sea. This just shouldn’t be possible for a witch like him.

The second thing they noticed was his body temperature. It happened during a mission with Eberwolf and Hunter. They were trying to hunt down a beast that was terrorizing a local area. Eberwolf was there to track down the thing, Hunter was there to fight the thing (he had just been promoted to Golden Guard a few days ago and Belos said it would be good training for the future), and they were there to act as a healer to Eberwolf, Hunter and any civilians that were injured by the thing. Long story short Eberwolf cast a spell that let all of them see in infrared so they could track down the creature using its body heat and the healing coven head noticed that Hunter’s body was at a much higher temperature than what is normal for a witch. Constantly at temperatures that a regular witch would consider feverish. They actually mentioned this to Hunter and he just went “Oh yeah that’s perfectly normal for me. Uncle says it’s something I inherited from my family.” They spent the entire next day searching for something that could cause those unnaturally high body temperatures and be passed down genetically but they never found anything.

The third thing they noticed was his heartbeat. A slow heartbeat is normal for some witches and demons, the boiling isles are very, very diverse when it comes to biology, but the complete lack of a heartbeat definitely isn’t normal. They originally tried to justify this with the logic that Hunter’s armour must make his heartbeat harder to hear but no. Hunter just straight up has no heartbeat.

The fourth thing they noticed was on a trip to the knee. All the coven heads were travelling there for a meeting regarding the day of unity and the golden guard was there acting as a bodyguard. As they all trekked through the cold of the knee, the head of the healing coven noticed that they could see Hunter’s breath coming from the eye holes in his mask, and by playing attention to that, they noticed how slowly Hunter seems to breathe. So slowly that it’s hard to tell if he’s breathing at all at times.

But one of the strangest things they’ve seen was the golden guard running into the castle after a mission, covered in visible injuries. Hunter went straight past them and headed straight towards the throne room to speak to Belos. The healing coven head only caught a small glimpse of Hunter as he ran past, but they swear to this day that Hunter’s blood was as green as the insides of a palisman, with some actually red blood mixed in. No witch or demon on the boiling isles has blood like that.

Why do I only picture him in bug-goggles?

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HEEHOO TROLL CLAIRE  WIZARD JIM

It makes me laugh every time I remember that Donald adopted the role of exhausted single parent so well that his kids literally renounced Scrooge’s entire legacy as being fake because they couldn’t imagine him being anything other than their loving if embarrassing uncle. Like “there’s no way our Uncle Donald who downs 8 cups of coffee in the morning, cries at sad movies, and tells literally the worst dad jokes was ever an adventurer. Pretty sure he was just born a dad.”

Inspired by your Canon!Marinette post with her worst moments with the Science Kids, I wonder something. Could you make a sequel post with the worst thing/moment Marinette had with the Akuma Class, with Luka and Kagami included?

Kim (Yeah. That’s right. Why don’t y’all sit the fuck down?):

Marinette was pissed at him for that prank, (which he was unsure of doing and asked Chloé a second time if he should still go along with it) that she decided to take revenge and hide some spiders in his locker

… Unfortunately, she just grabbed a random breed and Kim had to go to the hospital to get treated for a shit-ton of poisonous spider bites

Max:

Spread rumors online that he was sexist just because he got upset that he lost to her, subjecting him to a bit of online bullying

Ladybug criticized his video game because it made light of past Akuma victims’ experiences despite the fact he got permission from everyone who’s in the game to add them in, but she was adamant and got a ton of her followers to back her up

Myléne:

During one of Nino’s film projects, when Myléne as the female lead had to kiss Adrien, Marinette tripped Myléne and made her break her ankle so that she, the understudy, would get to kiss Adrien

Marinette was praised for her acting during the kiss scene, and Myléne got an honorable mention in the credits

Ivan:

Insinuated that Myléne could do much better than a “terrifying grunge rock wannabe.”

Claims she doesn’t have enough fabric to make him an outfit, but there’s a whole-ass role in her closet

Alya:

Marinette accused her of being a bad friend for suggesting that she should tone down her crush on Adrien, especially the schedule, and then the argument got heated when Alya yelled and called her a creep, then she got Akumatized

When she was cured, Ladybug basically gaslighted Alya into forgiving Marinette… Also, Laadybug makes sure the Ladyblog is scrubbed clean of Chat Noir because according to her, “He doesn’t do anything but flirt and joke.”

Nino:

Manipulates him into changing up his scripts for class film projects so that she can kiss Adrien despite it having no relevance to the film whatsoever

Marinette keeps trying to get him to tell her everything Adrien says so she can have more information about his life, but some things are private and Nino doesn’t feel comfortable sharing them

Nathaniel:

Continuously forgets to add him to group chats, hand him an invitation to a party, include him on the class roster, etc. And then claims that, “If you actually talked instead of drawing, maybe people would actually notice you.”

Ladybug criticized his and Marc’s comic just because it pointed out a few of her flaws, prompting her psychophants to boycott them and even vandalize their homes. She didn’t apologize until like two months later when they published a comic more to her liking where she’s perfect

Alix:

Continuously drags her into her stupid Adrinette plans despite Alix’s discomfort and protests on how her plans are creepy

When Alix said no once again, Marinette blamed it on her being Aromantic, Alix punched her, and that was the end of their friendship for good

Rose:

Marinette stole the hamster plushie her deceased grandmother gave to her so that she could give it to Adrien when she heard that he liked hamsters, too. Rose didn’t have the heart to say anything when she saw how happy Adrien looked

When Rose confronted Marinette, she guiltrips her and has the audacity to bring up her grandmother

Juleka:

Keeps fixing Juleka’s appearance when she offers to model for her, making her look like a completely different person and not like herself at all- Wig, eye contacts, intense contour, stuffing her bra, etc.

When the comments roll in on her website, Marinette doesn’t bother telling them who the model is and just compliments Juleka on how gorgeous she looks despite that girl in the picture not being her

Sabrina:

Let Sabrina do all the work for a group project while she had to do something as Ladybug… And it lasted well until the morning. By that time, Sabrina finished the whole thing, and all Marinette did was sign her name

When Sabrina confronted her about this, Marinette shrugged and asked what the big deal was. She does Chloé’s work all the time

Chloé:

Decided to rub it in Chloé’s face how Audrey has been offering her dozens of internships and even uses her actual name, just to “knock her down a few pegs” even when Chloé didn’t do anything today

Somehow managed to get a picture of Chloé hugging her teddy bear, and sent it to everyone in school. Chloé was so humiliated that she didn’t come to school for almost a month

Adrien:

The statue scene

Theft

Breaking and entering

Stalking

The schedule

… Anyway, Ladybug broke into his bedroom in the dead of night, sniffed his hair, and then kissed him while he was still asleep

Luka:

… Do I need to say it?

Vents all of her problems to him, makes it seem as though she was unhappy when they were dating, and rants about how “Adrien will never notice me! Help me, now!”

Kagami:

Spread rumors that she and her mother moved because she attacked her ex boyfriend back in Japan because she caught him talking to another girl

Sabotaged yet another contest Kagami was a part of where Adrien was the prize

i remember that post where its like “damn imagine being in the old hexsquad’s graduating class three of your classmates became coven heads and two of them become wizard steve jobs what a high life success rate for that year” and it’s funny but also like. no it’s not just three coven heads and two wizard steve jobs out of a graduating year. they were all from the same friend group.

you had a friend group of seven and three of them became coven heads and two of them became wizard steve jobs. and one of them became a famous reporter and basically a household name bc he shows up on the crystal ball every night. and the last one became a hermit in the woods but also the most powerful criminal in the country? like that is a success rate of seven out of seven if you count eda’s life of crime as a “successful life” which i do.

like imagine being in that graduating year. literally all your other high school friends are just some guy except for this one group of seven. they mostly stopped being friends with each other by the end of high school for reasons you’re not rly sure on but you see them on the news like every day now.

and then the apocalypse happens and the world is saved by a group of plucky teens and you find out three out of five of them are kids of that old friend group. but they didnt actually end up becoming friends bc of their parents they became friends just cuz. and somewhere along the way they roped in the literal golden guard and an actual titan? oh and theres another girl there too her dads are just some guys. the nepotism in the main character industry is insane

Hopper accidentally becomes the biggest ally in Hawkins out of hatred for Mike Wheeler. El wants to date Max? Perfect, Mike is terrified of Max. El wants to date Max and Lucas? Even better, more people to keep Mike away. Will comes out to Joyce and Hop? Hopper is immediately studying up on gay culture and flagging so he can find him a Hop ApprovedTM boyfriend. He sees that nice boy Gareth cuff his jeans one time and starts inviting him to family dinner. Mike seems annoyed that Steve is spending more time with Munson? A pamphlet titled “Accepting your Bisexuality” finds its way into Steve’s jacket pocket. Hopper has never seen Mike as furious as the day Steve and Munson arrive at dinner holding hands. It’s a good day. Hopper isn’t sure how Nancy dating the Buckley girl will annoy Mike, but he’s willing to give it a shot.