Goddd Theres Something About How Often Characters Like Atsushi Are Self Sacrificial, Ready To Die At

goddd theres something about how often characters like atsushi are self sacrificial, ready to die at a moments notice because their self worth is nonexistent and theyve been beaten into believing saving others gives them worth, and atsushi DOES believe that but its NEVER been at the expense of his own life the way it is for a lot of similar characters. like he is cockroach style gripping onto survival in whatever way he can because he doesnt want to die he wants to live even when living is awful and hard and it hurts because dying terrifies him more than any of the unthinkable pain his life has thrown him through, but with his friends gone and akutagawa's life on the line he's ready to die for him in an instant, and yeah he may be pretty sure its impermanent, but it is ONLY pretty sure, hes not certain and he does it anyway