Fucking Kiyoka Choosing That Moment To Tell Miyo He Loves Her??? Mf???? Drop Dead???? I'm Crying?? Happy

Double meanings in furigana in Mission 1 and Twilight's idea of self

Inspired by this post by @yumeka-sxf.

I've been rereading the manga with @xxscarletxrosexx and @mossshrooms (join us here at ep 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6), which means a collective effort of extreme close reading. For my part, I try to bring the original jp version and the translated tw version into the discussion, and guess what? Endo has been sneaking many details into furigana, and I think these details set the tone of Twilight as a character.

Marked alongside with kanji, furigana is normally used as the phonetic notation of the kanji. However, especially in mangas, at times furigana are used to show the true meaning/ double meaning of the characters' words instead of showing the pronunciation of the kanji.

It all starts when, for the first time, Twilight thinks about his codename Tasogare, or rather, the other meaning of Tasogare. The furigana/pronunciation notation is normal here, but the kanji or the word is not Twilight. It is "who is this".

Now, the word, or the kanji, for Twilight (Tasogare) is 黄昏. The word Twilight 黃昏 is said to be derived from the phrase "who is this 誰そ彼" - as it's getting dark at twilight, it's difficult to recognise faces. It's fitting, because disguise is his specialty. Even without disguise, spies should "become" the role they play during their missions:

In English, the line is simply translated into "I abandoned my identity when I became Twilight." I suppose a more literal translation could be: "I abandoned my name and my face [to become] this 'whoever that is'." He will become whoever the mission requires him to be. His codename thus becomes part of his reasonings why he has to carry out his mission.

There is an irony in identifying himself as "who is this", or "whoever this is", because that indicates a lack of self-identification, especially when this scene happens right after he suppresses his emotions to undertake such an unreasonable, almost impossible, task. Why is that so? Because he's been emphasising on the fact that he has abandoned the sense of self since day 1 he became a spy. The sense of self is symbolised by his face, his name (the train scene as shown before), his ID card, and his "desire and determination" 執着 to get married and to live in ordinary bliss (the late night alleyway scene as shown below).

This is the first time he identifies himself as Tasogare, and at the same time he creates a distance from this identity, Twilight, as he skips right to 誰そ彼 ("who is this") instead of calling himself 黃昏 (Twilight). There seemingly is an identity - Twilight 黃昏, but without the sense of self - "who is this" 誰そ彼.

In the next scene in which he identifies himself as Tasogare, another double meaning appears:

This time it's slightly more straightforward. The furigana of 黃昏 is not "tasogare たそがれ" - it is "ore オレ", meaning "I".

A mental loop is thus created with the help of the double-meanings largely indicated by furigana - I am a spy. -> A spy is whoever the mission requires him to be (in short, "who is this"). -> "Who is this" is Twilight. -> Twilight is me.

And that is why this panel, also shared by yumeko, is important.

When he says 子ども (children), in furigana it reads as じぷん/自分 (self). He breaks the mental loop as Anya reminds him of himself as a child. Himself before becoming a spy. His goals when he decided to become a spy. We see a glimpse of [redacted], the self he thought he had already thrown away together with his name, his face, and his hopes and dreams.

This resurfacing of his sense of "self" seemingly sparks new flames of passion towards his work as a spy, which would slowly lead him to rediscover what his "mission" really is. However, his internal conflicts would also start brewing. He talked about having thrown away his desire and determination to get married and start a family along with his self in order to become a spy. He has been rediscovering this long lost/repressed self, including these hopes and desires.

In no way I'm trying to fault the translator(s) - I think the English translating team has been doing a good job in localisation in a limited time. Inevitably, there will be, as scarlet likes to say, cultural discount, especially due to Japan's high context culture. Endo is a diligent author, and this also shows in his word choices. It is surprising to see that many details he has included right from the start, and it does show that he goes back to them from time to time.

PS. There are two more details about "Agent Twilight". When the higher-ups are having a meeting to see whom they could assign the mission to, Westalis is still Westalis in katakana.

In the newspaper which Twilight reads on the train, the furigana for Westalis is "our country" わがくに. The English translation for the whole sentence is "Thanks to you, the minister has survived another day, to the great benefit of Westalis." At the end of the day, no matter how much they emphasise on their intention in "keeping peace", this is still an information warfare, and Westalis has to be benefited from his work. "Our side" has to win. (Duh.)

Twilight, however, did not even react to this. There is an irony in how they call him 黄昏くん, just for him to respond (internally) with switching the codename 黄昏 to 誰そ彼 when he caves in and accepts the mission for the sake of "peace" and "the people's lives". There is a subtle sense of disagreement or even disobedience hidden under the act of compliance right from Chapter 1.

Anyway, happy sxf update this Sunday. If you are interested, join us to reread the manga. ...Bye. (Runs in the inability to end posts.)

maybe the reason why i love tbhk so much isn't bc of the potential for theory discussion, the horror themes, the doomed lovers, the doomed by the narrative character, the queercoding of mitsukou, metaphor of cannibalism as love, identity issues (mitsuba), the yokai/spirits stories and their contrast with humans, the mystery, the romance, the art or any of the other things i like...

the reason i just became obsessed with this series is all of the above, yes. but more importantly is the siblings going through the horrors™ (and i think that's the reason why fmab is still my favourite animanga of all time. for me there is nothing more angsty than siblings)

“Certainly Humans are Sinfully Stupid, but What’s wrong with that?”

Summary: I will be dividing this essay into two main parts to address what Dazai had said in this panel to Dazai-sensei’s writing. Then, in one short part I will attempt to connect some of what I had said back to BSD Dazai as a theory.

A/N: Basically take it as me rambling about my favorite bsd dazai panel and some of my personal take on dazai works which escalated and turned out much longer than I originally imagined…  (by that I mean this became 6k+ words) Also just my contribution to Dazai’s birthday <3 Also note that use of Chinese is present in this, since it’s much easier to find translated works of Dazai in this language, but if I do quote it, I will attempt to translate it

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, (if you’re uncomfortable with it) religious wording, spoilers to some of Dazai’s stories (works discussed [in relatively more detail]: No Longer Human, Otogizoshi, Blue Bamboo, Thinking of Zenzo, 正義與微笑, 思考的蘆葦)

Keep reading

Well, seems like something that was just a theory before has come very close to truth...

Because of this major revelation, I wanted to take a deep dive into what we know about Donovan so far and how hints throughout past chapters could indeed indicate that he can read minds. While we still don't have concrete proof for this other than Melinda's word, I don't believe there's anything that discredits this idea, either. In fact, many things throughout the series support it.

First we have Loid's encounter with Donovan way back in chapter 38. I always found it strange that we never got insight into Donovan's thoughts throughout that whole exchange. We always get to know what characters are thinking, even without Anya's mind-reading support. It's not an uncommon storytelling mechanic in general after all, especially for manga. Yet, Endo chose not to give us any insight into what Donovan was thinking. I figured this was simply to avoid spoiling anything about what his exact plans and motives are for future stories (also why Anya was absent for this). But now it seems like this could have also been to hide the fact that he can read minds. If he can read minds, certain things he said during that exchange take on a more ominous meaning. For example, what he said below about how people can never truly understand each other.

It's been a headcanon of mine that the reason why Anya, and perhaps Donovan, were given mind-reading powers, stemmed from the desire for world peace...the idea being that if people could read each other's minds - in other words, always know what others are thinking and feeling, sympathy and understanding would abound.

We learn later on that Donovan had ideas like this even as a kid when he made a similar comment during his debate competition speech. He said that it's impossible to know the true intentions of others so people will forever doubt each other, thus war is inevitable.

We also have the little detail in today's chapter that Donovan did not have the scars on his head during Melinda's flashback (of course, he didn't have them as a kid in chapter 99 either).

Now this is totally my theory, but if we take Melinda's words as the truth, without any misunderstanding, then sometime in Donovan's adult life after he married and had a child, he was experimented on and was given mind-reading powers, perhaps by force but most likely by choice. Now that he has these powers, his laments about people not being able to understand each other are no longer true, at least not for him. Perhaps the experiments done on Anya were preliminary tests that he put together to perfect the mind-reading implementation science before actually doing it to himself. Again, totally just speculation, but not out of the question.

Then we have Demetrius...we learned in chapter 93 that Anya has trouble reading his mind.

If we put that together with Melinda's comment in today's new chapter, that Demetris also took note of Donovan being able to read minds...

...then perhaps Demetrius conditioned himself to think in ways that would make it difficult for his mind to be read, specifically to thwart the "alien" that's impersonating his father. I mentioned last time that I don't think Donovan is actually an alien, and that this description is the only explanation Melinda could come up with to explain his mind-reading powers. If this is true though, it really does make the Desmond dinner scene all the more telling...that throughout all those panels without dialogue, Donovan was absorbing the deepest inner thoughts of his family members (and again, no insight into his own thoughts, just like in chapter 38).

But if the "Donovan can read minds" theory holds true, then the most disturbing idea of all is that Donovan knows that Twilight is a spy. He knows that he's the target of Twilight's mission, and that Twilight seeks to thwart him. Not only that, but depending on what he's read of Damian and Melinda's minds, he knows that they're fond of Anya and Yor, respectively - people who are close to Twilight. Mind-reading powers in the hands of a child are one thing, but in the hands of a shrewd and power political figure...I'm both excited and anxious to find out what Donovan's next move will be!

how tf do people write fics?? like i really have the ideas in my head and then i pick up a pen or open the notes and it's all gone

Storm Bringer deleted scene

DUNGEON MESHI anime REVIEW

After Falin is eaten by the red dragon, her brother, Laios decides to go down the dungeon to save her. Meanwhile some leave the party, Marcille and Chilchuk decide to stay and help him. Without food or money they end up with the necessity to eat monsters, so Senshi, a dwarf who eats monsters, joins them. The four of them start they journey to find the red dragon and get Falin back.

To be honest I wasn't really interested in this anime when it was airing, but between boredom and curiosity bc of it's popularity I ended up watching it.

It was a really fun watch, I like fantasy and the plot seemed ridiculous (it is, but that's the charm), plus the animation was so good in some moments (especially battles) it just keeps you watching.

It is typical that series start with a more fun focus, but have this serious moments (that are more battle focused) that increase over time. Personally, I like the balance that it has in this aspect, the story intertwines such difficult emotions (sadness, guilt, etc) with light hearted moments, so it doesn't make it heavy.

To add to it, the world building (not just around just this the dungeon, but all them and the world) is exposed in a light way too. It's told bit by bit so one can always follow it.

Laios doesn't feel like a unique character (or more specifically protagonist) when you see his personality, but even with that and just a normal person desing his weird obsession with monsters takes him apart from other protagonists.

And i was gonna make a point for all of the other characters in the main cast, but i don't think i have much to say lol, they are all enjoyable and charming, i think what i like most is that they feel well balanced for every situation and context, everyone has their moments and the author really knows what to do with them

also i love marcille and specially how even if it's always the same outfit, her hairstyles change ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ it's a detail but i love it soooo much

in conclusion...

i really had so much fun, but I don't know if i'll read the manga, tho definitely i will be watching when the second season drops, I'm waiting for it

pretty mentally unstable momma

mitsuba has taken me to places of my brain i don't like (thinking seriously about beast dazai and oda)

the shoushimin s2 opening is so good, so sooooo good. i'm so exited for this season and urino isn't as annoying as in the novels when we isn't the narrator (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)