Me Holding A Gun To A Mushroom: Tell Me The Name Of God You Fungal Piece Of Shit

Rules For Ghost Hunting and Such For People Who Do Not Normally See Them

1. As someone who sees ghosts, I advise you to completely cover your skin, including ankles, hands, and your face. Except for your ears and eyes.

2. Do not ever cover your ears. You will need them to hear.

3. Do not speak aloud. Instead, focus on a mental connection. Ghost don’t like voices, and some latch onto you this way.

4. Always remember Rule 2.

5. Once they are open to you, you are open to them.

6. Experiences tend to be few and far in between. My first visual was at five, then ten, and then an unsettling amount of presences and mishaps at 15. If you are constantly seeing one, it is most likely tracking you.

7. If you have read this guide in the hopes of figuring out how to permanently get rid of a ghost, sorry. The most I know to tell you is to very clearly and loudly state they are not welcome here. This is most effective if you’ve never spoken to them before. Watch out for more tailing behind.

8. If you see a young girl named Victoria with a mangled leg, get the hell out of there and get a friend to tell her to leave. A tall man with no face may come for revenge. Prepare yourself. 

9. Always be prepared. 

10. A phone is more effective than a radio or walkie talkies if you want a buffer or distraction.

11. Stay calm and be firm. Fear is easily manipulated.

12. Your feet are the most vulnerable part of you. Make sure you can run fast and move nimbly.

13. Developing ghost tend to hide under things and in shadows. Avoid that.

14. You really shouldn’t be ghost hunting. 

15. Remember Rule 5. It is the most vital thing to know.

16. It is not always plausible to close yourself from the supernatural once you are open to it. Most chose to open themselves. Ones like me are born without a choice.

17. Do not imagine anything in particular about a ghost. You will warp the connection.

18. Stay focused on your objective.

19. Everything has an objective and a personality. Observe it.

20. Do not let them touch you. You may feel them, but if you see them attempting to touch you, break the connection. They may touch you before you see them and that is less dangerous.

21. Breaking a connection is not easy without another person who doesn’t feel it. Screaming and motion can help.

22. Footsteps when you are alone is not something to be ignored.

23. The best protection is a non-believer, or someone the ghost has decided Unnecessary.

24. Avoid anything that feels off or malicious.

25. If you saw something, you most definitely saw something. Don’t disregard it. 

26. Under no circumstances, should you panic. Period.

27. Do not expect a ghost to deem you Necessary. It is usually better to be left alone.

28. Ghost mostly appear in white and black. Watch out for colors. 

29. If you’re colorblind, do not go alone.

30. Going alone makes you both more vulnerable and more open.

31. Most ghost will stare at you. If you can’t feel that, leave. Just leave.

32. You can always move. Even when you are frozen in fear. Do not allow them to render you motionless.

33. Most ghosts are tied to a location, usually a house.

34. Trust your instincts. The connection generally defies logical thinking and the ghost will attempt to push you towards certain decisions.

35. Do not let fear taint you.

36. Banging, footsteps, scuttling, and whispering are common noises for ghosts and such.

37. Avoid small areas. 

38. Avoid rooms with too many dangerous or sharp objects.

39. Bullets do not work.

40. Do not bring any weapons beyond a heavy stick. Even that can be ill-advised.

41. Make sure clothing is form fitting. No holes, no gaps, no open zippers. Jackets are a good idea.

42. If you find yourself in a verbal conversation with a ghost, be prepared for anything. Even death. Most will not speak.

43. Powerful ones can bounce thoughts back and forth through the connection. The best thing to do is to project your thoughts at the ghost and narrate the situation. 

44. Remain in control. If a ghost attempts to take control, sever the connection.

45. The more stuff you meddle in, the more stuff that can come at you. Everything is complicated and most likely, harmful. Do not strike deals or make promises.

46. Staircases are very vulnerable. Avoid ones without handrails. You will eventually have to go down if you go up and ghost can make sure you fall.

47. Remember Rule 24, Rule 25, and Rule 34.

48. Windows and doors can be locked. I advise smashing windows if locked in and avoid rooms without them.

49. Not once I have ever encountered a ghost where it was above a cool temperature.

50. Do not follow a ghost anywhere. Water, ice, underground, forest, and anything above the first floor or flammable is a trap. Do not allow them to herd you into one either.

More guides

Surviving a Desert 

How to Befriend the Monster Under Your Bed

I have.  A new recliner chair. It’s very comfy. but I am worried.

Mochi. Has decided that the best place to sleep is between my feet on the footrest. and when I have my laptop open I tend to. forget that he’s there.

I am going to dump him onto the floor.

Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow night but Eventually He will end up rudely dumped onto the floor,  like so much salad.

yesterday in economic botany we were learning about plant based oil compounds and stuff and my botany professor was talking about lynn seed oil, which in woodworking is rubbed on over furniture as a varnish. this oil has an exothermic chemical reaction with oxygen, meaning that the reaction creates heat. what often happens, apparently, is that woodworkers will finish rubbing on the oil with a rag and then will ball up the rag and throw it away, but because the reaction is taking place and the heat can’t escape (like it would on a piece of furniture where it can be cooled) it gets trapped in the rag, which gets hotter and hotter until it reaches the temperature where it bursts into flame. apparently many woodworking shops have been burned down by this. the proper way to dispose of rags with this oil is to hang them up on a clothesline, so again the reaction never gets enough heat to start a fire. im telling you this because im a writer and ive never heard of substance that will just…spontaneously combust conveniently like that so long as it’s in a confined space. my botany professor tried it in a trash can in his driveway and it did indeed burst into flame after 45 minutes, which is an exceptionally convenient time delay. im sorry im tying this so fast my laptop is on 2% battery and theres no outlet an

There’s a black trans woman running for president and I’m surprised I’ve seen nothing about her on here.

given that it’s possible to defeat him by just relentlessly bullying the shit out of him until he’s too small to be a threat, there’s absolutely no way pennywise would survive in this day and age. the existence of fast, accessible internet and social media would end that clown’s entire career.

if I was rich i would absolutely go all out weird. commission books handwritten in a made up language. erect strange black spires in the wood. buy a boat, make it look like a perfect copy of one that was used in an 18th century antarctic expedition, and then let it drift to shore miles away. i want every interaction with me to leave people with a sense of impending cosmic horror.

Eighth Generation is what modern Native American design looks like without cultural appropriation 

Louie Gong describes his company, Eighth Generation, as “a Native-owned, community-engaged small business that began when I started putting cultural art on shoes.” It’s true, in 2008, Gong began decorating sneakers and skateboarding apparel with indigenous Nooksack patterns — a move that, as a Nooksack himself, set him apart from the non-Native designers who’d been doing so for years. As demand grew, so did Gong’s ambition.

aesthetic: the three headed rat queen from the russian nutcracker movie and her three headed rat son