YES RICHARD DRINK THAT ORANGE JUICE!!

andrew minyard character of all time. he's toxic. he doesn't talk to cops. he has an identical twin brother and they hate each other. he made his identical twin brother promise not to have any other friends and then doesn't even talk to him. he might be a misogynist. his only friends are a born-again lesbian who can beat him up, the runaway son of a yakuza-affiliated serial killer, and his therapist. he's a student athlete. he hates sports. he killed his mother. he's a Mean Girl who runs his friend group like a cult. he's a crim major for the bit. he has an eidetic memory. he's petty. he likes to get people gifts. he does coke sometimes but says it doesn't have any effect on him because he has too many mental illnesses. he's the love interest. he doesn't smile. he was right about wwiii. y2k goth. repeatedly risks his life to help people in situations that have absolutely nothing to do with him and says it's out of boredom. when they picked him up from the psych ward he got in the driver's seat and blasted screamo the whole ride back and didn't say a single word to anyone. oh my god he is exactly five feet tall. he's even gay

Don't FUCKING argue with me. "Neil Josten let his cigarette burn to the filter without taking a drag. He didn't want the nicotine; he wanted the acrid smoke that reminded him of his mother." Is a fucking dynamite intro!! Is it edgy as fuck? Yeah. So? Is it hella melodramatic? Probably. So? Is it bad writing? Motherfucking NO! It's damn near expert level execution of several writing principles!

Who is the story about? First two words, next question.

Catch the reader's attention as soon as possible? "Why the fuck is he wasting a cigarette?" Intrigue successfully demanded, next question.

Raise questions that will keep the reader hanging long enough to have answered? "Why the fuck does acrid smoke trigger his mommy issues?" + "Wait it's because he burned her corpse??" Many many more questions raised + blind sided reader via preconceived expectations being subverted, next question.

Character establishing moment? What other characters use for physical and emotional regulation, he uses to fucking reminisce and wallow in his feelings, next question.

Set the tone for the rest of the story? Edgy, melodramatic, and emotionally gut wrenching, NEXT. FUCKING. QUESTION!

The Muses asked Nora to roll for Hook and she rolled a nat 20 five times in a row in 30 words or less. Hook, Line, and motherfucking Sinker bitches

Some of y'all need to stop ragging on AFTG's writing and start using it as a fucking case study cus this shit has the addiction capacity of heroine and god help the goddamn saltine cracker throwing stones

kaz, in the end of six of crows: got caught giving a fuck. embarassing.

how do I explain to my friend that in the last ten pages of tsh, the alcoholic shoots the druggy, we find out that the incestuous sister of the alcoholic was hooking up with the homicidal sociopath, and that homicidal sociopath shoots himself in the head partly because his narcissistic father figure ran off to the Middle East unexpectedly, and the druggy survives the gunshot wound but hallucinates the paranoid victim of a murder that this group commited a few months prior along with a bunch of other dead people while he’s in the hospital, and then somehow everyone brushes this whole ordeal off as if it were completely normal

when u look up from a wikipedia rabbit hole and it's 3:25am

headcanon that neil and andrew don't necessarily hide their relationship in public but also absolutely refuse to acknowledge it. neil asked about his relationship with andrew "yeah i hate that guy", andrew asked if he and neil are actually together "i don't know who neil josten is" and then someone will spot them kissing in the car and they'd both be like "this is not our car"

sorry in what way exactly did kaz fumble inej

he paid off her indenture so she could be free, bought her a ship and found her a first mate so she could follow her dream, and brought her her parents so she could see them again, all while she promises to return to him

man had the most extreme trauma and armor up and still managed to make the baddest girl ketterdam has ever seen fall hard for him

that’s 10/10 game imo

hey has anyone pointed out the fact that neil’s mother was named mary (as in jesus’ mother) and his bf’s middle name is joseph (as in jesus’ earthly father)?? that’s gotta mean something but idk what. best i can come up with is nora feeling silly about neil’s daddy issues

EDIT: i cracked it. as neil’s biological mother, mary feels a responsibility for him based on their shared lineage and half of him being her. in contrast, andrew—like joseph—chooses to care for neil without an underlying sense of familial obligation

funniest thing I've seen all day

Keema:

my phone just fell out of my pocket facedown onto the concrete and then I stepped on it

somehow it wasn't even smashed