Me: My Belongings Are Thoroughly Coated In Dust, If Only There Were A Tool To Help Me Reasonably And

LYLE LYLE TURN ON THE TV IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT CHANNEL

but he's still just as devious

@importantcatpics

Okay, one more thing about these stupid fucking long ass YouTube ads: in half of them, the audio is just music. Just 5 minutes of shitty corporate music with no dialogue or (audible) mention of an actual product. Normally I don’t care what’s actually in the ad, but if the point of these long ads is to catch people who can’t get to their phones at the moment, then that means a large portion of your target audience can’t look at the screen to see what the actual fucking ad is for. So, basically, the only people who actually watch these ads (besides people who don’t know how to skip them) literally never even learn what they were about.

Motherfucker, what the hell is the point then???

Is this some kind of sick corporate power trip? Did you just want me to listen to your bad music? Is this just a covert ad for your Spotify playlist??? Like, I don't actually want to know what the ad is about but it just makes these already frustrating ads so much more annoying that they don't even benefit the corporation paying for them. They are literally spending tons upon tons of money just to interrupt my shower playlist of Weird Al and Undertale songs with 5 minutes of soulless garbage and nothing else. It's crazy how corporations are obsessed with reducing unnecessary spending and increasing efficiency, but when they can spend money to inconvenience people, then suddenly money is no object.

but whatever I guess.

So what exactly is the deal with super long ads on YouTube? Like, the five minute ones with the skip button after 5 seconds? Why does anyone make those? Who does that benefit?

Obviously, they’re super annoying like any capitalist bullshit, but I don’t even get the point of making them. Like, there are only two outcomes when one of these ads comes on

1. I skip it so fast I don’t even learn what it was advertising

2. I’m doing something and can’t get to my phone so I can’t skip it immediately, forcing me to listen to the ad until I get so annoyed by it that I stop what I was doing to skip it

Is the latter outcome the whole point? Are these just predatory ads aimed at catching people that can’t skip them? If so, not only is that scummy as fuck but I still don’t get it from a business perspective; how does that help sell anything? I’m no businessman (thank god) but aren’t you just associating a negative experience with your product? Like okay thanks for completely wasting my time and being genuinely impractical, I can’t wait to associate my mild annoyance with your product.

I know I’m not immune to propaganda or whatever and maybe I’m just underestimating the effect advertising has on me but I just don’t understand why long but skippable ads are a thing. Genuinely, if you know why they exist then please tell me cause I am truly baffled

y’all need to stop yearnin’ and start learnin’

hawk tuah

I think if you can figure out what is causing Symptoms that the inside of your brain should go DING DING DING and then the Symptoms say Fuck, you got me! and leave

I'm the villain of tumblr

Congratulations!

After a long and difficult pregnancy and a complicated C-section, I have great news for you: you are a parent! Say hi to your new son, Papa!

I never would have guessed that the thing connecting Ryu and Diogenes was Shovel Knight.

Does Diogenes from Getting Over It With Bennett Foddy have a Ryu number?

Diogenes has a Ryu Number of 2.

I really like drawing baby Mel

Ok I have better doodles this time

I think the funniest thing you could do to the "give me liberty or give me universal omnicide!" guy who tried & failed to conquer Earth is stick him in group therapy with the guy who successfully conquered & tyrannically oppressed earth for thousands of years.

A few weeks ago in one of my servers we got asked "what other villains do you think could hold their own against Bill in a fight?" and then "what other characters do you think would get sent to Theraprism?" at almost the same time and I haven't been able to stop thinking about subjecting Bill & Aku to each other since.

I think they'd hate each other's guts.