This Wholesomeness Makes Their Fights All The More Sour...

This wholesomeness makes their fights all the more sour...

We hear ad nauseam about Paul and George’s “fight” during Let It Be/Get Back but nowhere near enough about their beautiful tender exchanges like this one:

G: They sell boots that high, but not that tight, and not particularly leather, maybe softer. Groovy ones like, you know those Afghan coats, they’re embroidered, I’ve got boots like that, but the slippers, the slippers feel at home. And it is great, you just tuck your pants in.

P: You want boots of those? Yeah, I’ve got boots of them.

G: You know where you get them?

P: Yeah, you get them off me (gentle laughter).

I’ll give you them, I’ll never wear them.

G: Do you want to hear the song I wrote last night?

It’s just a very short one, called I Me Mine.

P: Yes

We Hear Ad Nauseam About Paul And George’s “fight” During Let It Be/Get Back But Nowhere Near Enough

𝓢𝓴𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓟𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓮

𝙎𝘼𝘾𝙍𝙄𝙁𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝙎𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎

Julia’s line of thought

I have overslept. Again. It feels like a chore to go to sessions. I never wanted to feel that way about it. I think I’m done with his bullcrap… He always talks about how we don’t try enough and that we should do this this way, or do that that way! Prissy bitch! I shut him down, but for what? For him to make a ruckus once again! I worsen the situation by being overly impulsive and mad, my anger issues have become unbearable. Yoko makes it better but it really drags me down… I have to find my bandages…

Not under the table where I usually put them… Fuck. No, I have to focus… Maybe they’re on the bed… No… What the hell is going on…

Not in the bathroom, nor the dirty laundry, nor the kitchen or living room! Oh, no… How am I going to go to practice?

Though I’m mad at McCartney, that doesn’t mean I could just fuck over Ritch and Geo. But would it really make a difference if I came as Julia for once? I know we had some rehearsals as the Beatles where I was meself but I really dunno. That was so long ago… Yoko has disappeared off to somewhere. That is by itself quite unusual. Maybe we had an argument or something, I can’t remember… I remember what I did yesterday but some parts were unbelievable and hazy because of the drugs. Anyway, I think there is no harm in going as me. I could dress up as Johnny without my bandages but I think I’m going to go all in. My main dresser hasn’t been open in god knows how long! So, um, what colour should I wear… Green is my favourite… Hm… This one is simple yet elegant - not really that a rocker needs to look elegant. We aren't going to make much progress today. I can feel it.

Door is locked. Driver doesn’t need to know about Julia. Taxi called. Got in!

“Hello, where to?”

“Twickenham Studios.”

“Alright, miss…”, oh god, he is looking at me inquisitively. Though he could only be killing his boredom that way. Just smile, Lennon, smile.

It feels so nice to be out of the spotlight. No personal driver, no substances, no one! So fun.

“Miss, you look oddly familiar… I think I’ve seen you in magazines and newspapers… Aren’t you like a singer or something?”, ugh.

“Oh, I get that a lot. No, I work as a nurse.”

“Nurse, well, that’s odd… I could’ve sworn I’ve seen you…”

Please, not today, not today.

“Sorry I asked that. We should be arriving at Twickenham real soon, so prepare the amount as it’s written on the little list.”

Twickenham, Twickenham! Oh. Here it is. Fine, I’ll give him that amount. Maybe even… No, Lennon, that would be awfully stupid of you! You had to lie… You don’t need to own up to it. Though it would be silly. Imagine I give him a simple autograph from John Lennon himself and he concludes it’s me! Funny, but if we were real for a moment, he wouldn’t have a clue if it’s real and maybe wouldn’t even find it. I’ll plant it somewhere. Maybe make two, one for the driver, one for the guest. Or more if someone really checks well. Hahah!

Twickenham Studios. Welp, I’m here. Very, very late. I hope the lads have made some progress.

“Goodbye, sir, and thank you for your service.”

“You paid me Miss.”

I must be smiling so wide. Miss. I missed being called a Miss. Still, I need to get to the studio, and oh lord, there are so many Beatlemaniacs at the entrance waiting to come in. I feel sorry for John fans because they won’t see him today. Let me through!

“Do you have any sort of clearance, Miss? We cannot just let anyone in.”

“Don’t you “Miss” me!”, oh, god, I have used my John voice in front of about a dozen people.

“I ask you again, what is your reason to go inside? And I do not take “seeing the Beatles live” as a valid reason.”

Well, as you see, I am a Beatle. Yeah, you know, the one that is quite late and should be getting to her lads who are hard at work-who am I kidding, they’re panicking because I’m still not there. You know, John Lennon?

“I’m really sorry… But…”, should I try that or… Is there a backdoor? No, I don’t think so. Even if there was, it’s smarter to be clear with the guards.

“I need to see my twin brother John for a private reason. If you don’t believe me, ask the other Beatles, they could vouch for me, I know them quite well. Name’s Julia Victoria Lennon.”

The guard looked over at me.

“Well, I do see the resemblance, but I still have to check with the others. I’ll be back.”

I’m in deep trouble with McCartney today, aren’t I?

It feels like centuries are passing by? A lot of girlies went home by now. Where is that guard? I’ll check out what the remaining weird Beatlemaniacs like to do and tell the lads if it’s funny.

“Who are you here for? I’m for George.”

“I’m for Paul, obviously he is the most handsome.”

“I’m for Ringo, he is so silly.”

“I agree with the most handsome part. Um, I'm here for a different reason.”, smile.

“Oh… Still, sad John’s missing all morning.”, the George girl told me.

“All morning! He f-messed up so bad.”, is this good acting?

“Yeah, I hate it when he makes Paul mad.”, the McCartney girl said.

“McCartney is mad. Oh, there is going to be so much drama.”, why am I talking?

“I think they’re going to work it out for sure.”, Ritchie girl, you are so cute.

“Yeah… yeah.”

The guard walked out and the girls rushed by my side.

“They confirmed it. I’ll show you the way to their practice room. Mr. Lennon is still not here.”

“Aww, well, show me the way and I’ll follow!”

The girls were starry eyed.

“How is she getting in?”

“Haven’t you heard the theory that John has a twin sister? It’s true. That’s so fab!”

“Can you get us in?”

Oh fuck. Of course they scream. My poor ears. I already have bad eyesight. I don’t need poor hearing as well.

“No need to show the way, sir, I’ll do it.”, McCartney the Prick shows up at last, “And girls you can’t go in, just esteemed guests such as uninvited Julia Victoria Lennon could come in.”

The girls sighed. McCartney was fuming under that smile of his.

Close the door. Turn around. And I think I’m going to get yelled at right about now!

“JULIA VICTORIA LENNON! How did you get this late to the studio! And why aren’t you here as John? We have made absolutely ZERO progress without you, Jules! Ugh!”

“Can I enter a room without you fighting with me or do I have to dream of it? For that matter, how come you didn’t get inspired? Were you too lazy? Huh, JAMES PAUL MCCARTNEY?”

Geo and Rings are tuning their instruments. They look tired. I’m happy they’re smiling. Weak smile from me to them.

“Wait a second, lads, where are the wives? And George Martin?”

“In the lunchroom! Hello, Julia!”, George, stop running towards me, you’ll trip on a cable.

FUH. The others were far away to hear this conversation. But they would be coming back.

Sigh. “Thank God, they aren’t here yet.”

Aww, Geo, no need for hugs. Ritch too? Looks like they missed their sis Jules a lot.

“Hi.”, Ritch…

Where’s my chair? Oh, there it is. This screw like this, that one like that and voila! Tuned guitar!

“That is quite a nice dress… It compliments your eyes…”, McCartney hadn’t complimented me in a while based on my physical appearance.

“Thank you… Paul.”

Of course he blushes, of course. Does he miss his Julia? What am I thinking? No, he doesn’t.

“Then lads and… birdies.”, McCartney started the session.

“I’m a lad too, you git!”

“Lads! Let’s run through the program again.”

“One, two, three, four!”

Sing, play, fuck up the rhythm, fuck up the harmony, then be a genius and get it even better. I hear footsteps! Stop playing! I got off the chair and left my guitar.

The birds are here. Glynnis is with them. Wait, Glynnis is with them! OH SHIT!

“John came?”

“No, I’m his twin sister, Julia.”, fuck we were filming!

“Is this a joke or no, you are female.”

“I know my brother is such a comedian! Um, where is he?

“I think he won’t be coming today… He is too late and the footage is already taken.”, aww, Glynnis is sad. Thank goodness I didn’t get caught.

Paul, stop panicking. Geo is going to fuck up his eye and Ringo is smiling too wide and fake to my liking.

“But I’m sure I heard John’s voice.”, Glynn, don’t think about it.

“You are John’s sister! Pleasure to meet you! My name is Maureen.”, this is not going to end well.

“Hullo.”, I did my traditional John greeting.

“Hi, my name is Linda.”, oh, Linda… A nice woman. No wonder why Paul decided to be with her. Reminds me of a certain best friend I haven’t seen in a while…

“Great to see you, Julia!”

“Oh, Pattie, I’m glad to see you too!”, aww a hug.

“Well, what has John done this time?”, Pattie… Why?

“John and I need to talk about Aunt Mimi and private things so I can’t tell you.”

“Oh, oh, that’s fine.”, Linda the assurer, “No need if it’s a touchy subject.”

“Thanks.”, a wide smile.

“You remind me of him.”, Maureen thought, “No wonder you are twins when you both look and act so aloof. Though, you have impeccable style, Julia.”

“I know.”, ha. I feel so pretty.

“So, let’s sit over there while the men play.”, Linda, guide us.

“Oh, great Linda, show me the way.”, what a joke.

She chuckled.

“Weird… I like it! Well, my little follower, we have arrived to the chairs of nevermore! Once you sit down, there is a high chance you’ll spend the next five hours sitting down on them.”

“Rest my weary bones.”, another joke from the master herself.

They all laughed.

I forgot what girl gossip was like- Wait, I can talk about my favourite topic. Are there any mags on the table? Yeahh! Great, let me just open it and ask the girlies.

“Who is your favourite actor?”

“GAH, very hard!”, Maureen is practically squeaking, “I like… Cary Grant..”

“I like Tom Selleck, he is handsome.”, Pattie outright admitted. Cool.

“Hm… Tough, but I would say, hm, hm, Tony Curtis.”, good pick Linda.

“I love James Dean. He is beautiful and inspirational…”, best answer.

I am already having fun. I never thought I’d miss mindless traditional girl topics and here I am. Ahhh, this feeling is so nostalgic.

“Julia, where do you get your dresses from?”, Maureen asked.

“Hm, it really depends. Some are from Liddypool and some are from here. This one for example is from boutiques. I think this one is from “Biba”. “

“You have to introduce me to all of them, I’m a fish out of water here… Tough being an American in England.”

“Oy, Linda, don’t worry. You fit right in. But if you want some gear clothing, I can show ya!”, silly Linda.

“If you want a great place for shoes I would recommend Saxon’s. A little bit expensive, but fashionable.”, Pattie is right.

“Is money really a problem for us?”

Haha, of course they chuckle. I feel like I could do this all day. Why are they looking at each other so weird?

“Julia, I hope this is alright with you, but we like to play a game where we try to guess when John will come and why he’s late.”, Pattie asked

Oh my God. Hahahahhahah.

“Alright! It’s funny, tell me what are your bets?”

“I think John will come in ten minutes. He overslept and got stuck in traffic.”, well Pattie is half right.

“I think John will come in half an hour. He was writing something at the flat and forgot about the rehearsal. John is aloof like that.”, Linda is off by a long shot, but that is a possibility that could happen.

“I think John will come in an hour, because he doesn’t care for rehearsals and is purposely avoiding the rest of the band. Ringo is suffering so much because of his shenanigans.”, Maureen is half right too. I don’t care as much for rehearsals as I used to but I wouldn’t abandon my friends because of boredom.

“What’s your bet?”

“He won’t come… If they told him about me, he wouldn't come.”, why am I sad? Why would I be sad? Why are the girls sad? Pattie understands, those two are confused.

“John and I are sometimes close and sometimes distant. Mostly distant. It’s not even because of fame, it's because of our different paths in life and how much we don’t agree with our world view… I think the only thing that connects us now is music.”, good thinking, me!

“That doesn’t mean he won’t come to talk to you… Maybe he wants to work things out?”, Linda is quite an empath.

“You are right, Linda, I should hope for the best outcome.”, smile. The girls are smiling too. I should let them get back to some lighter topic. What is this conversation in the other room?

“John should’ve already come!”, that’s Yoko for sure.

“He still isn’t here. Your husband is making us wait a long time for rehearsal.”, Glynn was correct. But John couldn’t come.

“That man is-I can’t believe it! Maybe he sleeps too long but he would never do this!”

“Well, obviously he did it. Look at the band. They are tired and miserable, they wouldn’t want that on footage. The staff feels the same. I feel like I am wasting my time, and I do not want to feel that way when I am doing a project with the Beatles.”

“That’s not important. What’s important is that he isn’t home… God knows where he is.”

Lads are on the brink of rolling their eyes at Yoko and pointing to me.

“Look, he made you come here and waste your time, the band’s, his sister’s, the wives’ and ours.”

“Say again?”, oh no.

“The band’s, his sister-”

“Oh, Julia. That’s unexpected.”, she is going to kill me.

“Yes, I never knew he had a twin sister.”

“He never found her that important. I’ll sit and wait there then, then I’ll go back to the flat and check if he’s back.”

“Thank you Mrs. Ono.”

She is coming this way. Don’t make a scene, don’t make a scene, don’t do anything.

“Hello.”

“Yoko, finally, is John with you?”, Pattie asked, “See, I was right that he would come in ten minutes!”

“No, John is not with me.”

“What a pity.”, I did not need to snark. Fuck, her eyes are full of anger and flames. Kind of hot if you ask me.

“Julia, we haven’t seen each other in person yet.”

“Yoko, nice to meet you.”

I am on the edge of bursting with laughter, I have literally said to my wife nice to meet you, ahhahah.

She isn’t in the same mood.

“If you want to talk with John and I’m sure you are here for that reason I could tell him later what you said.”

“No. No need for that with you. But there is a certain thing I want to discuss with you.”

We are getting heated. About to have another scolding lesson from my wife.

“Then everyone, we’ll be back soon.”, Yoko’s smile radiated her rage.

“See you later.”, Linda smiled blissfully ignorant.

“See ya.”, what a greeting Lennon.

We walked to the other room. Silly girls whispering: “I think she is best friends with John’s ex wife so she is surely going to discuss that with Yoko.” I miss Cynthia, she was the greatest. But John, John isn’t great for her anymore. John is a bad bad bad thing for women and only Yoko can handle him.

“Lennon, why are you here without one makeup, two bandages- And your glasses are John’s not Julia’s! For you it would only take one night of drinking to blow your cover!”, Yoko I know. A small pause.

“Sometimes you act like child.”

“I am child, dearest.”

She chuckled.

“Yeah, you are the most big, I mean biggest child I saw.”

“Love you too, Yoko.”

“How are they going to practice?”

“Should I just call them from a random phone and tell them that- OR NO!”

“What great idea do you have?”

“You go there and tell them that John told you he is not coming to practice.”

“Okay, John…”

“And when dusty old Glynnis goes away I can practice with the lads with no stupid cameras.”

“Not a bad idea, love!”, a small kiss on my cheek.

“Then go and execute the mission, commander.”

“Of course, general.”

That’s clear. I am going back to the main room.

“Have you cleared everything up?”, Pattie, don’t worry.

“Yeah, I’m glad that’s over with!”, sigh, smile.

“I knew that everything would be fine!”, Linda is cheery.

“Where is Yoko?”, Maureen questioned. Of course.

“I dunno, we both went back here…”, hahah excuses excuses.

Well, that wasn’t that long.

“John called!”, she is running towards the lads.

The rest of the Beatles look unamused. I think they’ve been waiting to make progress but they are one member short and that member is just in the other room. Glynn lit up.

“And?”

“He is not coming. He is feeling sick.”

“Well, he should recover and help us create a program for the concert!”, Paul, the greatest actor.

“Looks like Julia was right…”, Linda was saddened.

“Don’t worry, he’ll come to the next practice early I bet! Even though he is lazy he is responsible.”

“That isn’t a word I’d describe your brother with but alright.”, Maureen!

“That would mean that practice is over and the rest needs help packing.”, George Martin sighs. Don’t look over here, don’t look over here, don’t look- Well, too late. His eyes widened.

“Yes, you’re right.”, Glynn is packing. My plan is working. Glynn and the crew packed so fast and went so quick!

“Pattie, please go home, this wasted so much time!”, Geo has figured my plan out.

“You too, Maureen, it will be a long while till we pack.”

Linda is sad.

“Are you going to shoo me away too?”, did she ask Paul like that? I could never do that so softly like her…

“I don’t want to waste your time any further.”, Paul’s chuckles…

“I’ll be going too.”, Yoko…

“Tell him you have seen me, alright… And that I’m fine with you.”

“I know you’re fine with me… You are more than happy with me.”, Yoko, you genius.

“Bye, everyone.”, they all said in unison.

So many byes have been exchanged. The staff goes away. So, George Martin, the lads and I are left.

“John, you absolute idiot.”, George Martin why?

“I forgot where my bandages were.”

Don’t facepalm yourself, Paulie!

“Julia… You git! Made us practice without you for so long!”

“I was there.”

“You have to be at your guitar not with the birds!”, Geo was angry.

“If you are so excited for practice I’ll practice with you!”

“Yay, we are all here!”, Ringo, you cutie.

The real practice began. We made some progress! A few more songs. Ahh, I know Hazza’s look.

“Paul, we should run through one Harrisong.”

“Which one, Jules?”

“Which one, Geo?”

“Um, “I Me Mine.””

“Alright, boys, let’s do “I Me Mine” and finish with “Don’t Let Me Down”.”

“How fitting Julia, since you decided to come and be active in practice.”, gah! I can’t say Paul isn’t right.

“One, two, three, four-”

We sounded great! Geo was very happy he got permission to do the song. For “Don’t Let Me Down” it still needs work. I scramble the text a million times, and Paul’s harmony is just too much! Ritch is great on both of the songs. Hazza is great on mine but on his song, his guitar playing seems to falter when he sings. Macca is perfect at playing but his constant nagging can be noticed even in the songs. Gotta cut back.

“Got that on tape?”

“It’s not tape-worthy!”

“Paul. Stop being overbearing to everyone here!”

His eyes literally want to set me on fire.

“Lennon, it’s necessary to get the best results!”

“Well, McCartney, as Monroe said, nobody's perfect! So, we got to keep most of the takes! You never know…”

Oh, softened. Geo and Ritchie are sad. God, let’s just go home.

“Let’s get packing then boys-”

Ah, what are you doing, hey, no, we see each other every single day- You already hugged me today!

“Oh, what is happening?”

“Julia, we missed you so much!”, Geo, no.

“Can you be more active like today, please! Please!”, Ringo stop.

“Julia…”, Paul finally decides to hug me, “My Julia…”

“People, this is just for today. I’ll be sure not to mess up again, and I’ll come as John-”

“No, don’t be away! Please! Don’t go to some place where we can’t reach you!”, what is this man talking about?

“Geo is right, we can’t reach John.”, Ritch is spilling bullshit-

“We are exactly the same person.”

“NO, YOU ARE NOT! John hates me!”

“And you still think I love you?”

Oh, Geo and Ritch didn’t know we had a fight. Fuck.

“Lads. I promise I’ll be more active. Even as John, who has a big ego.”

“Arrive on time please, that’s how I’ll see you care!”

“Macca, I promise.”

“Alright, Lenny.”, a bit too tight of a hug!

We have to pack. Well, I’ll hug ‘em a bit more.

“Lads, you stayed a whole hour after closing. We should get packing and get going before someone barges in.”, father Martin always on schedule.

“You heard him.”, good leading me, “Time to say goodbye for the night.”

Finally, I’m free. But I missed those long big hugs. So, let’s put the guitar in place, done! Purse… Still at the women’s part. Taken! Put on the jacket…

“Anyone need any help?”, this is the last thing I need to do.

“No love!”, fine Macca.

“Yeah, no need, I’m all set.”, Rings too.

“No.”, Geo looks like he can’t get his things together but alright. But, he finished as fast as Paulie.

“George Martin, I promise I will check my costume parts before going to bed so as to not arrive as Julia again when we are filming, which I also forgot.”

Martin chuckled.

“I can count on that, Lennon.”

“Yeah. Lads, I’ll see ya tomorrow then, I should be calling a taxi now-”

“No, Julia, I’ll drive ya.”, of course.

“Well, Macca is drivin’ ya then. See ya two later.”, Geo, do not support him.

“And did I accept?”

“What’s the harm there, Jules? See ya.”, Ritch winked.

“I’ll be seeing you, The Beatles.”, Martin left, closing the studio.

Leaving me and prissy pants alone.

“Are you happy?”

“Yeah, I’m happy you are willing to talk to me like I’m a normal human being, not a rival.”

“Um, if you want to drive me home so much, I’ll allow it.”, do not blush. He isn’t worth your time anymore.

His car is close. He is quiet… Passenger seat! He has the key of his car but he isn’t starting the car yet.

“Julia…”

“Paul…”

A minute of silence.

“I…”

“You…”

“You see how much fun we had today… You brightened up our day as Julia. We missed you.”

“Already know that.”

“I missed you.”

“I know that too.”

“Julia! What I am saying is! You should retire John once and for all.”

“I’m not doing that.”

No. He did not say that-

“We’ll make up something for John. Love, I want you with me. Doesn’t have to be the Beatles, though I love that the most…”

“John is the Beatles… He is as much your songwriting partner as I am.”

“You’re right. We’ll break up the Beatles and make our own thing.”

“But you, you care about the Beatles!”

“Of course! They are my everything, but John, John hates me, he hates me so much it’s unbearable.”

“I don’t hate you as John.”, god why is he so sad, “And why would you want to retire a part of me! Then you don’t love me fully!”

“I love you both! It’s just- You are now so different as John it’s killing me… Ever since Yoko…”

“Yoko? No. She isn’t at fault. I am.”

“No, she is manipulative and money grabbing and she makes important decisions for you! She dragged you further into drugs!”

“You can’t say that about my wife!”

No, Paul don’t…

“You are still John aren’t you? Say that you hate me! Say it!”

No, no, Macca!

“Macca, I love you.”

A small kiss. A nothing kiss.

“I love you to the moon and back. If there is anyone that understands me, it’s you. And I understand your prissy ass quite well too.”

A small breezy chuckle.

“That’s the Paul I know.”

“I love you, Julia.”

“Let’s forget about this sobby part. I’ll try to be better, I swear.”

“Then let’s get you home, darling.”

“Wait, Paul… I’ll think about it. Alright?”

“Really?”

“I will. But don’t get your hopes up.”

Another chuckle. God, I love that man. I need to sleep.

“Julia, wake up.”, smooth and silky, what a nice voice.

“Already here, aww.”

“Well, Jules, Johnny, see you tomorrow.”

“See you, pretty princess.”

Oh, oh! A kiss on the- I haven’t kissed him in so- Wait! Another one. And another one. And a couple more.

“I’m heading now.”

“I love you.”

“I adore you, Paul McCartney, I adore you. Remember that. Any bit of rivalry as John is because I want to be like you so organized, experimental and polite. Though, I don’t like leaning into it as much as you do! Bye.”

Oh god, he is crying. That is cute.

“I love you, my smart woman. I love you so much. Even though there is another, I love only-”

He drove away. Couldn’t hear the last part. But I guess he wants to say he loves me the most. Funny… What a nice day. Yoko is asleep. Get ready for sleep. Get in the bed. Close your eyes. Imagine… Imagine… Imagine everything goes well after you abandon John… No… That can’t be… That will never happen… Never… But it’s lovely to imagine…