This Is Potentially Life Saving Information Everyone Should Know.

In case you don’t know this story, the Norse gods wanted a wall around Asgard to protect themselves and a jotun only known as The Builder offers to make it in exchange for Freya, Sun and Moon. Freya gets rightfully pissed and refuses (no word on Sun or Moon’s feelings about this), so Loki turns into a female horse and lures The Builder’s horse away, causing all work on the wall to stop. Because he can’t finish the wall The Builder has to leave without Freya, Sun and Moon. Loki disappears for 9 nine months and returns with an eight-legged foal (yes, he had sex with the horse and got pregnant. I know you all love that part). The end.

For some reason people often leave out that The Builder wanted Sun and Moon too, and English translations often translate it to “the sun and moon” as if he wanted the heavenly bodies, but no, he wanted the goddess and god responsible for said heavenly bodies. He absolutely intended to have sex with all of them which is why a lot of translations leave out Moon because ew that’s gay.

Freya didn’t want to marry a Jotun, let alone as part of a god damn harem me thinks.

Ernest Mazarekic

Fireflies

“Oh, sweetheart. You’re just tired.” A heard the soft tap of a metal tray being put onto the nightstand, and a gentle hand propped their head up. “Here,” their mother whispered as glass pressed against A’s lips. “Drink this.”

They began to drink, but whatever liquid this was was thick, burning. It felt like sludge pushing through their mouth and invading their throat.

Choking, A pushed their mother away, violently retching as they fell to the floor beside the bed. They got out what little of the disgusting liquid was in their body, whirling around with wide eyes.

“What was that!?” they screamed as they scrambled away from their mother on the ground. “What are you trying to feed me!?”

“Oh, dear,” the mom tsked, tilting her head. She was delicately holding a flask with a black substance inside of it. As she walked closer, A struggled to crawl further away. “It’s only medicine.”

November Pines, Somerset UK

Photographed by Freddie Ardley | website | instagram

[ID: A gray banner with white text reading “Those Horrid, Horrid Things” with white line drawings of a wolf head, snake head, and skull to the left of the text. End ID.]

Who's at the door? Chapter 6 of 'Those Horrid, Horrid Things' is up!

When Odin prophesizes Loki’s three monstrous children will bring an end to the Aesir, the trickster god decides the only way he can keep them safe is to travel through time and space to where no one will find them.

But this new world is different, with its PTO’s and HOA’s and all other manners of strange sigils. Loki’s children have to make some big changes to remain undetected, and the Father of Monsters themself might be in a little over their head.

Chapter 6: The Babysitter

There were fewer stars in this realm, the sky brown and faded by the lights mankind gathered in their fortresses and towns below.

No matter. Skadi only needed two to position herself and guide her over forests and fields. No snow on the ground yet, either. Not in this part of the world, but it was coming. Skadi would make sure of that.

The message had come to her in a dream as she lay before a low-burning fire in the mountains of Jotunheimr: where Loki had hidden the three monsters.

It had been difficult living with the Aesir and serving in their pantheon. But this — hunting and tracking great beasts — this she could do blindfolded.

So, I wrote the next chapter of Those Horrid, Horrid Things much faster than I had previously written any other chapters, which is probably because I had two scenes in particular visualized since I first conceptualized this work.

But then I took several days revising and reposting the chapter. I guess I'm nervous about it? Like, is it bad to have both a character address the queerphobia she's faced and a joke about a wolf getting indigestion from eating too much cheese in the same chapter?

But in the end I realized I've got to stop freaking out about what's supposed to be a fun lil project where I make jokes about an eleven-year-old sea serpent the size of the globe wanting anchovies on his pizza. Also, it's been a fucking week, so I'm posting it for you and me as a treat.

WIP: Those Horrid, Horrid Things

Read it here

Chapter 1: The House

Chapter 2: The School

Chapter 3: The New Pet

Chapter 4: The Vice Principal

Chapter 5: The Tupperware Party

Chapter 6: The Babysitter

Taglist (ask to be +/-): @authortango, @drippingmoon, @joaniejustwokeup, @thegreatobsesso, @thelaughingstag, @writing-is-a-martial-art

It’s official!

Look at dem bones

Death from above

Devour ye gods

In death she gave life

I'm seasoning your supposedly cishet couple, making them bi4bi and/or t4t, maybe throwing in some aspec identities for extra flavour.