Concept

business email glossary

thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"

thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up

would you be so kind: fucking do it

best: i have never physically met you

all best: this conversation is over

all my best: i wish you would die

happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox

i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do

i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to

sorry to chase: answer my email

so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email

i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me

please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem

i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it

i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to

i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to

can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to

per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone

great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone

thanks!: i'm not mad at you

thanks!!: please don't be mad at me

thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk

please advise: this might be your fault

kindly advise: this is entirely your fault

mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator

can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email

sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot

let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again

Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -

Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don't care what you think

OTP Prompt 242

“Look, I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“I just asked if you’ve ever played monopoly..?”

“You can’t just bring up my repressed war memories, that’s rude.”

“….. it’s….. a board…. game?”

Watercolor Art and Prints by Jess Weymouth on Etsy

More like this

~ under arrest ~

AGATHARIO ONE SHOT

Context: Detective Agatha confronts Rio, a cunning criminal from her past. As they clash, old feelings resurface, blurring the line between duty and desire in their dangerous, tangled history.

Pairings: agatha x rio , detective!agatha x criminal!rio

Authors note: a little bit of tension for you all, I might develop this into a full fic one day soon, hope you enjoy :)

The knife glinted dangerously as it slipped from Rio’s grasp, landing on the wooden floor with a sharp clatter. Agatha’s fingers were still wrapped tightly around Rio’s wrist, her body pressed against Rio’s to keep her pinned, her breathing slow but shaky.

Rio, however, was anything but subdued. A slow, lazy smirk tugged at the corners of her lips as she looked up at Agatha. “You’ve got me right where you want me, don’t you?”

“Shut up,” Agatha growled, her knee pressing harder into Rio’s hip, her dark eyes burning with frustration.

“Admit it,” Rio said, purring “You’ve missed this. The thrill of the chase. The heat of it all.”

“This isn’t a game, Rio,” Agatha snapped, leaning closer, her voice dropping into something sharp and dangerous. “You’ve pushed me too far this time.”

“Too far?” Rio raised an eyebrow, her smirk widening. “I’d argue I didn’t push you far enough.”

Agatha’s hand trembled, just for a second, before she forced herself to steady. She hated how Rio always managed to twist the knife—not the one that had just hit the floor, but the one buried deep in Agatha’s chest ever since Rio had walked out of her life.

“You think this is funny?” Agatha hissed. “You think you can just… keep doing this and I won’t stop you?”

Rio’s grin softened into something more intimate, more cutting. “If you were going to stop me, you would’ve done it a long time ago, Aggie.”

Agatha froze. Her grip on Rio’s wrist tightened, her nails digging into the soft skin there. “Don’t call me that.”

“Why not?” Rio said, her voice barely above a whisper now, her eyes locked onto Agatha’s. “Afraid it’ll remind you of what we used to be?”

“That’s not what this is about,” Agatha said, her voice shaking.

“Isn’t it?” Rio pressed, tilting her head, her smirk gone now, replaced by something softer, something darker. “You think I don’t see it? The way your hands linger every time you catch me? The way you can’t bring yourself to look me in the eyes when it really matters?”

Agatha’s breath hitched, and she cursed herself for letting Rio get under her skin—again. “I’m doing my job,” she said, her voice tight.

“Right,” Rio said, dragging the word out, her tone dripping with mockery. “That’s why you’re the one shaking right now? This was better when we role-played it.”

“I’m not—” Agatha started, but her voice broke, betraying her.

Rio leaned up slightly, the movement subtle but enough to close the distance between them. Her voice dropped, soft and intimate. “Tell me to stop, Aggie. Tell me you don’t feel it anymore, and I’ll walk away. I’ll disappear for good this time.”

Agatha’s fingers loosened on Rio’s wrist, her resolve faltering. She hated how Rio could read her so easily, how she could peel away every layer of armor Agatha had built.

“You always do this,” Agatha said, her voice trembling with anger and something she refused to name. “You tear everything apart, and then you act like I’m the one who can’t let go.”

“Because you can’t,” Rio whispered, her gaze burning into Agatha’s. “And neither can I… Leaving you tore my heart apart.”

For a moment, the world fell away. It was just them, the weight of their history crushing the air from the room. Agatha could feel Rio’s pulse beneath her fingertips, steady and unyielding, and it made her want to scream.

“After all these years, Rio, after everything we’ve been through, this is it. you’re going away because you don’t care, you never have.” Agatha scoffed, “Leaving me couldn’t have ‘torn your heart apart’, please don’t make me laugh, you don’t have a heart, yo-”

“Yes I do, Agatha, It’s black. And it beats for you.” Rio interrupts, never sounding as serious as she does now, looking deeply into agatha’s piercing eyes, hoping to find a glimmer of love left

Agatha’s breath catches in her throat, leaving her speechless, her eyes soften for a moment, all the memories of their romance flashing before her, thinking. The adventures, the chaos, the quiet times. Her lips curl into a small smile at the thought before clearing a throat and remembering all the hurt Rio caused her.

Then, with a sharp exhale, Agatha shoved herself to her feet, dragging Rio up with her. She snapped the cuffs onto Rio’s wrists with a ferocity that made Rio laugh under her breath.

“You think this is funny?” Agatha said, her voice hard again as she yanked Rio toward the door.

Rio leaned in close, her voice low and teasing. “I think you’re going to dream about this tonight.”

Agatha stopped in her tracks, spinning to glare at Rio. Their faces were inches apart, the air between them electric. “You don’t know me as well as you think you do,” Agatha said, her voice trembling with barely contained fury.

Rio’s smile was slow, deliberate. “I know you better than anyone else ever will, My love”

me consuming every piece of queer media instead of having a social life:

Neuman’s Guard Dog (3/3)

summary: no better way to unwind after committing murder than getting absolutely destroyed by your morally grey girlfriend <3 god i wish that were me (minus the murder)

warnings: SMUT, fingering(r receiving), blood play (one small instance), fully clothed(victoria) x completely nude(r), fingering from behind, top Vic, alcohol ment. (red wine), proposal ment. , overstim, ment. of suicide (nothing serious), you could consider it angst if you feel so inclined, GENERAL ‘THE BOYS’ disclaimer

before you read: Reader is aware of Vic's blood powers. NOT aware of Vic's head explosions (ex. congress attack), relationship to Stan Edgar, The Boys (especially Hughie being involved). Sameer and Zoe do not exist in any of my AUs. Reader has been in life-threatening situations before, not a fan of them, but has been in at least two before.

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A storm rages outside, its howling wind puts you on edge — something deep inside you stirs. Victoria senses your newly tensed state and rubs your shoulders.

“Why don’t I go get us some celebratory wine?” she chimes.

She takes your grin back at her as a ‘yes’ and starts downstairs. You stand and strip, the nightwear Victoria provided you is comfortable but it isn’t yours. The garments carry the weight of your temporary prison, a place you long to forget. You fold and set them on the dresser. Your girlfriend returns before you can open your pajama drawer.

Victoria stalks into the room, eyeing your nude body. She slinks up behind you and places an empty wine glass into your hand, you let out a sigh of satisfaction and lean back into her.

“Well now this is unfair,” you tease, “This is the second time today I’ve been completely naked while you’ve been in that damn suit.”

Victoria wraps her arms around your waist, one hand holds her own empty glass while the other holds the bottle of wine. She coos a fake apology into your ear. The scent of red wine lingers on her breath, you scoff and tap your empty cup.

“Double unfair!” you taunt.

Victoria laughs and raises the bottle to pour, you can’t see the roguish grin she wears behind you. She jerks her arm and the bottle tips, a stream of red wine splashes onto your chest and drizzles its way down your body. You gasp out and push her back jokingly.

“Oh! You so did that on purpose!” you accuse.

She laughs and sets the glass and bottle of the dresser before guiding you back against it.

“I did—“ she purrs, “Don’t worry, I’ll clean it up.”

Victoria trails kisses from your collarbone to chest. She drags her tongue down the trail of wine. She kneels and places soft kisses at your stomach, leaving a smattering of lip prints as she makes her way down to your thighs. Vic laps at the wine droplets that have pooled on your inner thigh. Her licks and suckles are planned and precise, she’s toying with you. You bite down on your index finger, trying to compose yourself against her incessant teasing. Though, you’ve forgotten about your newly sharpened canines; a fang pricks the tip of your finger and a small droplet of blood starts to form.

“Ah-“ you wince and retreat back to your beside table to grab a tissue.

Victoria studies you curiously, she watches as a few drops dribble onto your palm. Slowly, she lurks beside you; practically purring in your ear as she raises your hand up to her lips. She licks across your palm before encasing your finger into her mouth, sucking on the wounded digit.

You gasp and an exhilarated chill runs through you. Her deep brown eyes meet yours as she pulls away. The corners of your mouth furl upward in astonishment.

“Fuck, Vicky….” you whimper.

“You know what’s unfair? Every part of you tastes so fucking good,” Victoria coos as she bends you down against the bed.

Her fingers rub in between your slightly spread legs. She mumbles praises under her breath as she watches how your body reacts. A moan of approval falls from her mouth when she pulls her fingers away, a sticky trail connects them to your core. Firm slaps against your ass causes pathetic sobs to spill from you. This display causes Victoria to purse her lips together in attempt to stifle a whimper. You feel her start to rub furiously at your clit. She slides two slender fingers into your sopping cunt and pumps with the same fervor from before.

You grab fistfuls of the bedsheet and bite down softly on your hand as Victoria fingers you from behind. Your attempts to self-control don’t go unnoticed.

“Awh, I don’t think so baby, don’t hide those pretty sounds — Hands behind your back” Victoria orders.

You obey and instantly Victoria locks your wrist together with her free hand. This position leaves you lying head first into the bed, your face is wet with your own tears and drool — Victoria wishes she could frame this view in her mind.

“Fuck-“ Victoria lays against you, pinning you down onto the bed. “You’re such a good girl,” she pants, “All mine.”

“Y-yes, yours… A-All yours! ” you stammer, “H-Hah… Fuck…”

Your brain feels fuzzy, like the static buzzing off of an old tv. Your body tremors, you’re about to reach your limit and all you can do is mewl and listen to Victoria’s moans flood your mind. She presses a sloppy kiss against your cheek and slides her free hand against your throat. She urges you to let go. You cry and spill into her palm, coating her fingers.

She rides out your high, relishing every twitch and whimper you produce. She smacks your cunt a few times, the wet slaps leave you in a trembling heap. The pathetic noises you make turn into choked croaks and she finally relents. You try to steady yourself, but your legs aren’t quite ready to support you yet. Victoria sprawls out on the bed, pulling you close to her, she has a thin layer of sweat on her forehead but the rest of her remains pristine. You’re a mess — Victoria strokes your hair and kisses your forehead anyways.

“You’re perfect,” she hums. “My perfect girl.”

Her fingers trail up and down your body. She takes in your figure and drowns in your half-lidded eyes. You look so fragile, sickeningly sweet.

“I really mean it,” she affirms, “If anyone hurts you, I’ll fucking kill them.” Her grip on you tightens slightly.

The statement reminds you of the incident at the hotel room. Your stomach stirs uncomfortably and you play with the hem of Victoria’s suit. You try and muster up the courage to speak your next words aloud.

“Hughie knows…” you trail off, “He saw me.” An imaginary news article flashes in your mind.

‘CIA Affiliate, Hughie Campbell, Found Dead

Suicide by two gunshots in the back of the head…’

The thought of your old friend being murdered by your girlfriend makes the hair on the back of your neck stand. Victoria still hasn’t responded.

“He helped me,” you blurt.

Anger boils in Victoria’s chest, she should have been the one to save you. She imagines the state he might have found you in and seethes. Would he use you against her? Expose your new power to the world to get back at her? He wouldn’t. Right?

“Vicky?” you whisper.

“He’s a good guy.” She states, “He wouldn’t do anything to harm you.”

“What about you?” you ask.

“You worry about me too much,” she teases.

She kisses you, mostly to get your mind off the topic at hand. She feels you start to melt into her, then she feels you fight against it. Her nails dig a little too hard into the flesh of your hips and you pull away from the kiss. She doesn’t acknowledge her roughness, instead she rises and pulls you up.

“We should really go to sleep,” she chides. “I’d like to get some sleep before the insanity of tomorrow…”

You nod and yawn, seemingly reminded of how tired you really are.

-

You grab a set of silk pajamas and head to the bathroom to do your nightly routine. Victoria follows suit. She opens her dresser drawer and grabs a nightgown; a small, sleek box stares back at her. It holds the engagement ring she’s bought for you, the black velvet void of the box calls to her — Do it, before it’s too late. She closes the drawer quickly and takes a deep breath before joining you in the bathroom.

Victoria will propose. She’ll tell the world about you; you deserve that. There are so many dirty secrets and she doesn’t want you to be one of them.

You fall asleep spooning her, your soft breath tickles her neck and lures her closer to slumber. But, there is an unrelenting, festering feeling in her stomach that won’t let her sleep. Her web of lies is caving in on itself and you’re tangled up in the middle. She reminds herself you are not hopeless prey curled up next to its killer; she will protect you.

The bloodied hotel room flashes in her mind — a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Her hand rests upon yours and she strokes the bare ring finger. Do it, before it’s too late.

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authors note: omg it’s 5am and i finished this.. one very sleepy read through later… i’ll do a more focused clean up when i awaken. anyways i will be writing a sappy proposal fic me thinks… but im on a queen maeve kick rn so that’ll come later… PLS SUGGEST THINGS FOR ME TO WRITE in my ask box!! <3

fuel my writing -> tips or reblog,like,comment!