MDZS Vol 5 Annotations 4

Ever see a depiction of St. George and the Dragon? It's pretty fair to say if you've seen one, you've seen them all: Georgie on a horse stabbing a flailing dragon creature, princess piously kneeling in the background, vague landscape alluding to the homeland of the artist's patron.

The most varied part is the dragons. No one had a real definition for the thing, it seemed. For your pleasure and entertainment, I have ranked some medieval depictions based on how impressive George's feat seems once you see the dragon.

Paolo Uccello, 1456

This is a terrifying beast. The hell is that. Uccello was one of the first experimenters with perspective, so the thing also looks surreal, like it's taking place on Mars, or a Windows 95 screensaver. I would not want to fight that, I would not want to be tied to that. (Sometimes the princess is tied to the dragon for some reason.) 10/10

Horse thoughts: Maybe if I look at the ground it will be gone when I look up

Unknown artist, c. 1505

This is a rare change of form for the dragon; it's the only one I've seen actually flying (or at least falling with style). It doesn't look particularly deterred by the spear through its throat, either. Also, George looks appropriately nervous. On the other hand, it hasn't got teeth, it seems to be fuzzy rather than having scaly armor, and George is bolstered by his army of Henry VII and his children, most of whom definitely didn't actually die in infancy. Still, wouldn't want to fight it, wouldn't want my pet sheep near it. (Sometimes the princess has a pet sheep for some reason.) 9/10

Horse thoughts: I am so glad I wore my mightiest feather helmet for this

Raphael, 1505

We are coming to Dragons With Problems. This guy looks about comparable in size to George, and does have wings, but doesn't seem to be using these things to his advantage (and has he only got one wing?) And how does he deal with the neck? He does have a comically small head, but holding it up with such a twisty neck seems complicated at best. But most egregiously, he is doing the shitty superheroine pose where he is somehow simultaneously showcasing his chest and his butt, with its unnecessarily defined butthole (more on this later) (regrettably). 8/10 bc it's Raphael

Horse thoughts: AM I THE BESTEST BOI? AM I DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB? WE R DRAGON SLAYING BUDDIEZ

The Beauchamp Hours, c. 1401

We had a spirited debate about this one at work. Again, the dragon has gotten smaller, and this one hasn't got even one wing. He's basically a crocodile. So the debate became: would you want to fight a crocodile if you had a horse and a pointy stick? Would the horse trample the animal, who can't get on its hind legs, or freak out and throw its rider? Would the pointy stick be enough to pierce the croc's thick hide? In this case, George seems to be controlling his horse and putting his pointy stick in the dragon's weak spot, so we can be impressed by his skill and strategy. However, his hat is dumb. 7/10

Horse thoughts: Dehhhh

Book of Hours, c. 1480

Here we have the same kind of croco-dragon, but George's focus on his strategy has gone out the window. He's flailing around, not even looking at his target, he's about to lose his pointy stick, he hasn't got a hand on the reins, and his sword seems to only be poking the invisible dragon over his shoulder. All he's got going for him is that his hat is slightly less dumb. 6/10

Horse thoughts: Yay, new friend! Come play with me, new fr- what is happening

Final dragons put behind this Read More for your safety:

Rogier van der Weyden, c. 1432

I'm thinking this guy is at least semi-aquatic. Webbed feet, wings that seem more like fins, bipedal but top-heavy, jaws that seem more for scooping than biting. Maybe she's crawled up here from the nearby body of water to lay her eggs, and this is all a big misunderstanding. Moreover, George's dagged sleeves seem entirely impractical for the situation. 5/10

Horse thoughts: i got my hed stuk in a jar and now it is this way forever

Unknown artist, c. 15th century

I hate this. I hate everything about it. Why has it got human eyes and teeth. Why is its nose melting. Why has it got a dick on its face and balls under its chin. The fin/wings are back but they look even more useless. Also, George is shifty as hell, schlumped over in his saddle with his bowler hat thing over his eyes. The baby dragon at the bottom eating some hapless would-be rescuer is kind of metal. 4/10 at least the thing is gonna die

Horse thoughts: I Have Smoked So Much Crack

Book of Hours, c. 1450

Remember what I said about the buttholes? First, sorry. Second, yeah, we're back to that. I'll admit this one is less about the danger from the dragon itself than the very specific choices the artist has made. They didn't need to do that. It's a lizard. They don't even have. And it's like they had an orifice budget and they skipped an exit wound for the spear to focus. Elsewhere. It's so detailed. And George had an even dumber hat. 2/10 take it away

Horse thoughts: I Have Smoked So Much Weed

Book of Hours, c. 1415

This is just bullying. There isn't even a princess. That is clearly an infant. Look at that smug look on George's face as he swings his sword that's bigger than the whole little guy. This is the equivalent of when DJT Jr. hunted those sleeping endangered sheep. 1/10

Horse thoughts: ....yikes

And this is the previous one, but now the baby dragon is cute. He's chubby. He's got toe beans. He's Puff the Magic Dragon. His eyes have already gone white, implying that George is just kicking its corpse around for funsies. What's the difference between the dragon and the lamb in the background? That the dragon is dead, like our innocence. This George is truly deserving of the dumbest hat of all. 0/10 plus one more butthole for the road

Horse thoughts: Perhaps it is we who are the buttholes.

This is most affirming thing I’ve ever read.

I am very grateful for this (amazingly funny and honest and raw and did I mention funny?) analysis of Why This Story Changed My Life.

okay love this tor dot com article exploring writing craft through the lens of the untamed fucking slaps and why 

jin zixun has such a main character complex that he thinks wei wuxian, the yiling patriarch, declared enemy of the cultivation world cursed him specifically for something that happened like a year ago and when zixun accuses him of doing so wuxian’s like look man first off i don’t care about you enough to hold a grudge i only have a vague idea of who you are and second off it’s awful bold of you to assume i’d let you live if i did

MDZS Volume 4 Annotations

Part 8, pages 267 - 288

More little clarifications :)

The Appendix has a “Time” section, but I always forget what each time period is called, so I wrote the times in here.

下不为例 is an awesome phrase. Nearly-literally, it means “this is not setting an example for the future.” Formally speaking, I’d translate it as “Don’t take this as precedent.” Here, I felt that “Just this once” conveys the feeling of the message best.

(“There will be no next time” is what I threaten my children with when they severely mess up, which is not the case here.)

More under the cut.

Please don’t refer to bone-bits as crumbs. I eat cookie crumbs with a spoon. I smoosh bread crumbs together and pop them in my mouth like little biscuits. I live off brownie crumbs for breakfast.

No bone crumbs, please.

I found some useful information (and a lot of similarly-obsessed fans) about Your Name Engraved Herein on this Reddit page. In case you want just a little more content, a little bit of analysis, here it is!

https://www.reddit.com/r/boyslove/comments/kjk1ga/seven_secrets_you_need_to_know_about_your_name/

Thank you, @anambermusicbox !

September 29 Day Countdown (6/29): 2019/02/19 Global Chinese Golden Chart 《流行音乐全金榜》 Live Broadcasted Radio Interview on Dragonfly FM

Highlights:

(14:15) Interviewer talks about how Zhou Shen’s activity on Weibo is completely unlike a celebrity; Zhou Shen mentions that Gao Xiaosong says he’s never acted like a celebrity and often tells him: “Zhou Shen, you’ve already debuted for so many years, how is it that you actually behave less and less like a celebrity?”

(21:40) “What are Shengmi to you?”:

Zhou Shen: They’re an inexplicable existence. Because, I’ve told them so many times, that I’ve always never understood what motivates them—not only my shengmi, but even just fans in general—what motivates them to support their favourite singer or idol. I feel like, personally, I can’t do much for them. All I can really do is sing some songs. […] I feel at a loss; I feel like I have no way to guarantee something good to repay them for their continuous support, for their love. Because I’m a really insecure person, and yet they’re able to give such an insecure person some sense of security… you can imagine how great their strength is.

(26:45) Interviewer asks if Zhou Shen has a 小名 (family nickname):

Zhou Shen: Because 深 and 星 are pronounced exactly the same in hunanese, my family has always called me Xingxing. When getting me registered, they asked the person doing the registration to register “our family’s Xingxing”, and the person said “okay, and your family name is Zhou,” so they literally registered me as “Zhou Xingxing” (周星星) (*Interviewer laughs*).

[I didn’t know this was my original legal name] until my high school entrance exam, when they called out “Zhou Xingxing” during rollcall, and no one responded. They thought it must’ve been a typo at first, because when they called the name out, the entire class was like “HAHAHAHAHA WHO THE HECK IS NAMED THAT”, and I was also there laughing like “HAHAHAHAHA WHO THE HECK IS NAMED THAT” (*laughs*) And then after everyone was called, they asked whether there was anyone who hadn’t been called. I said “I haven’t” and they said “Okay this must be you”, then everyone was like “HAHAHAHAHA YOU’RE ZHOU XINGXING” […] Afterwards, I went and legally changed my name back to Zhou Shen.

Keep reading

MDZS Vol 2 Annotations, part 2

Here is Part 2 of my annotations of MDZS Volume 2, pages 87 - 160.

drunk lan zhan being a cutie in every adaptation (x)

People on this website will really see others enjoy the complexity of an epic novel full of political intrigue longer than the entire LOTR trilogy featuring a canon gay couple who literally defy death to end up together and they’ll say “these fetishistic sickos only like the novel over the idol drama censored adaptation because of the existence of those, like four sex scenes and one dub-con kiss”.