Ok I Need Everyone To Understand That Buck And Eddie Are Both Products Of Their Upbringing. Buck Was

thinking again about how everyone, even the rest of the characters and buck himself, fundamentally misunderstanding who Buck 1.0 was and his motivations. because yes, he was a flirt who slept around a LOT but never in any of his interactions with these women does he display fuckboy or playboy behavior. everyone has this idea that he was this man whore running around breaking women's hearts left and right because he didn't respect them and only wanted sex. and they believed this so hard that Buck believed it.

except that first scene we get with Buck stealing the firetruck to sleep w the first girl, he's the one who gets rejected when he tries to make it anything deeper. and it right out the gate tells the audience that this is someone so stupidly desperate for affection that he's looking for it in all the wrong places and actively sabotaging his career to make it happen because he doesn't know how else to find it. because no one else has ever wanted that with him.

and idk so much of the fandom has (imo) accurately clocked the sex as a form of self harm as well - a new way of using his body to get attention because his parents aren't around to care when he throws himself into oncoming traffic anymore

and I just get really in my feelings about it because no one in his life GETS it. eddie comes closest but he's missing so much key context and I just want so badly for the show to circle back to this in some way but I know they'll never do it right

buck also accidentally putting chris through it

I fear no one is going to get this because it is a hungarian book we had to read in... I don't even know what grade. 3rd or 4th, maybe? It's called "A Pál utcai fiúk" ("The boys of Pál Street", written 1906), and it's about a group of kids who find a big, abandoned... field? I think? in the city of Budapest, on Pál street, and make it their own, and turn it into their HQ. They become friends, or more accurately, form a club, and have strict rules to follow. If I remember correctly, (I literally haven't read this book in seven years) there is also a rival club of boys, who they are trying to sabotage. I cannot for the life of me remember the plot, but I do know there was this one kid, young and scrawny and small, who was constantly trying to prove himself. Some things happened, which led the boys to believe he betrayed them, and was a traitor - not true, of course - and as punishment, they wrote his name into their rulebook with lowercase latters, the lowest and most humiliating thing a member of the club could be punished with, and they kicked him out. (Ah yeas, I remember, his name was Nemecsek I think!)

Meanwhile, however, in an earlier adventure, Nemecsek fell into a cold lake on a winter night, already a bit down with the cold. After he was kicked out, the boys ignore him completely, and shun their friend out - so they don't realise in time that the illness got serious. Nemecsek got pneumonia, i think, which at the time was incredibly dangerous, especially for a frail little boy like him.

Needless to say, he dies, with none of his friends there, his mother bawling on his chest, still believing his only friends hate him. When the boys hear about this, they are shook, of course, and immidiately forgive him and feel completely fucking horrible, but it's too little too late. They honor him by not only rewrite his name with the correct -capital letters, but by writing it in ALL capital letters.

I bawled my eyes out. I was such a little kid at the time, and i loved reading and getting invested in stories, and this fucking broke me. I finished the book at like 1 am one evening, which at the time was very late for little me, and my brother heard me literally sobbing and had to comfort me. First encounter with MCD. I didn't even think it was real. I just kept reading, because I was like "what do you mean? Books ALWAYS have a good ending please this has to be a joke - " it was not. Fucking. Broke me.

fuck it, i'm curious. reblog and tag with the first fictional death to ever rewrite your brain chemistry and/or make you cry like a baby. mine was ares from the underland chronicles (who, for context, was a giant bat.) to this day i will weep if i think too hard about it. okay, go.

okay, so it's bothering me a little how a lot of people are talking about ryan's acting, and i wanted to give my two cents on it.

for me, it's pretty clear where ryan is going with his acting choices, especially after what he said on the podcast. but for some reason, people are acting as if eddie's lack of emotion is just ryan being a bad actor. i might agree with that in other scenarios, but this time? no. i’d say that even though his performance isn’t oscar-worthy, he's still doing a great job portraying what’s happening with eddie.

which is: he's repressing the hell out of his feelings.

and we can see that—there are a few instances where his mask slips.

when he learns that buck is going to sublet his house, he can't keep his emotions at bay. in my opinion, he realizes in that moment that he has someone who genuinely loves him and would do anything for him, which just makes things even harder. so, he tries to repress his feelings even more.

when buck brings up the subject of him moving again while they’re searching for maddie, his façade almost slips when he says, "it isn't nothing." but again, he pushes his feelings down. it’s obvious he’s exhausted from thinking about it and fighting about it with buck.

and finally, when they say goodbye, ryan does something so subtle that if you blink, you’d miss it—eddie’s smile falters just a little, and his eyebrow twitches while they’re hugging.

so yeah, it’s obvious that eddie is going through it and trying his hardest to keep his feelings locked away. to really understand eddie right now, it's important to keep in mind what ryan said in that podcast about reading between the lines—and also remember that while buck is really expressive with his feelings, eddie is the complete opposite.

Glad to be of service🫡

Alert me if you do end up writing it ;)

does anyone have any ideas for poolverine fics bc i’m dying to write them but for some reason i can’t think of anything

🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

hello beautiful princess. everyone loves you

i have talked about this before. but it is legitimately fucking insane to me that a guy gets shot. and because the guy is a single dad, his best friend steps up to take care of his kid and keep him on his schedule while his dad's in the hospital recovering, stays at his house and sleeps on the couch and takes the kid to school etc etc. normal! cool, normal, extremely generous, lovely best friend behavior. but then when the guy wakes up, the best friend says: i should have held it together better, i was really struggling and i broke down in front of your son, and i just think it would have been better for him if i had been the one to get shot. which – this is an objectively true statement. for anyone normal, yes; that is a gut punch of a sentiment, and it is heartbreaking to hear buck say it out loud, but it is objectively true for anyone normal that it would be better for a child if his dad's best friend got shot vs his only living parent getting shot. you know? like that is not an insane thing to say, even in the context of all of everything between them. but then the dad – AND THE NARRATIVE OF THE SHOW – says no actually, you're wrong. it wouldn't have been better. it would have been the same; it would have had the same effect on my son if you had been the one to get shot. you matter to me, and you matter to him, and you are an important enough part of both of our lives that i have you written into my living will. i have an advance directive that says, in the case of my death, i want you to gain custody of my son. you, my best friend, and not my own parents or my aunt or my grandmother or either of my sisters. you. and you stepping up like this proved that i was right. and I cannot stress enough how insane it is that not only do the characters believe this, but the ACTUAL NARRATIVE OF THE SHOW agrees with them and backs them up and says: this is the reality of the situation. like!!!!

started watching 911. thought you guys were exaggerating this gay shit. you were, in fact, correctly reporting the quantity of gay shit. amazing.

STOP WHAT IS THIS PICTURE. WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE.

eddie is so unbelievably real sometimes

Actually wait I’m so excited for Bobby’s cult leader mom. I hope we never stop learning absolutely bizarre facts about this man. Child alcoholic figure skater with magic blood that saves infants from a rare disease i love you forever